Love will be our last emotion CH18
I blindfolded Courtney and I lead her out through the back of the venue, everyone else had gone to the after party.
"Baby, where are you taking me?" she was stumbling around.
"Take your hand in mine" She said as i lead her.
"Its ours tonight Courtney" I unblinded her.
"oh ha ha" She laughed.
"Whatt? You like my little reference?" I laughed.
"Well...you wasnt joking when you said its ours tonight" she laughed pointing at the empty tourbus.
"You're an observant one arent you" I teased.
We got onto the bus and I lead her to the back.
I asked Sammi if she could make the bus look more...romantic.
It was amazing, she put beautiful red silk throws over the sofas and everything looked so much better.
"Jake...whats all this about?" She laughed.
"You...you like?" I asked.
"Of course I do...but you dont need to go to all this tro.."
I put my finger to her lips.
"Hush, lets just enjoy some 'us' time" I cuddled her.
We both snuggled up on the sofa for a few minutes, we were
Love will be our last emotion CH16Love will be our last emotion CH163 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Jake came storming into the hotel room. Closely followed by Jinxx who was acting cool.
Jake muttered something under his breath, and went into the bathroom.
I followed him.
"Babe....Jake?...are you okay?" i asked.
"NO IM NOT FUCKING ALRIGHT." he shouted at me.
I stumbled backwards in shock.
He stood there shaking with anger.
"...I'll....I'll just leave." I sobbed.
"No...wait stay!...Courtney....Im sorry i shouted at you" he begged.
I stopped. There was something really bad going on here.
"What happened with Jinxx?"
"He took me to a fat cat strip club and told me that its where he's been going all this time"
"WHAT?!!" I shouted.
"Shhhh!!" he pleaded.
"Im sorry, im shocked. Why has he been going there? Sammi's out of her mind with fear and worry."
"His sister, Jazz, she owns it and 'apparently' hes been trying to get her to publicise black veil brides
and My Satellite." Jake explained.
"Even if that is true, Sammi's sick with fear Jake. Its been destroying her and i hate
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"Andy, remind me why exactly Courtney is here?" i asked inquisitively.
"She's gonna be helping on the merch stall, and she's gonna help with time keeping"
"Ahh, she was your plan then hey? Sneaky, haha"
"Dont get any ideas Ashley, you are NOT stealing her innocence" he winked.
"I wouldnt Andy, shes your sister!! Who do you think I am!" i said jokingly.
"Im just making sure Ash, I gotta look out for her out here"
"Its cool bro" i replied.
That porcelain skin, that beautiful long black hair....Those gorgeous blue eyes.
She's changed so much since we last saw eachother. She's mesmerising.
I pulled out a tattered box from my wardrobe, the lid said ~Memories~.
I sifted through it until I found it.
A picture of me and Courtney from our teenage years, the love I never had.
I loved her back then. When she left to go back the the UK i thought i'd never
see her again, and now...she's here. What am I to do, she's perfect and I dont
have a fighting
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"i dont know what to do, ive messed everything up and Jinxx has left me, why would he want me after everything
I've done, I'm a joke."
"Dont cry Sammi, its gonna be okay, alright. They're guys, they do crazy shit like this to sort their heads out.
Just let him get whatever it is off his chest, okay?" Courtney comforted me.
"I....I nearly destroyed the band...why WOULDNT they hate me"
"Hey...hey, its okay Sammi, cheer up. We all do crazy shit in our lives, you really will be okay, Jinxx
loves you he wouldnt do anything stupid to hurt you" Courtney hugged me.
"I hope you're right Courtney, cos right now, I dont think I can last without him..."
"Dude, where are we going?"
"Wait man, we'll be there soon" Jinxx replied.
"You know I hate surprises...and your surprises are usually crazy" I laughed.
"Hold your horses Jakey boy, we wont be long"
We sat in the taxi for about 20 minutes. We came to a stop outside a bar.
"Dude, what is this?" I asked.
"Just come on Jake,
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Jake had taken me out for breakfast when Andy stormed off. I was worried. Ive never seen him so angry before.
Regardless of what Ashley's done I still dont want him to get hurt, I hadnt seen him since that night.
"Jake...I wanna go back. I wanna see if Ashley and Andy are okay" i spoke.
"Alright, ill grab my keys and we'll go." he replied.
This was going to be interesting, I wonder what Ashley will have to say.
*Driving back to the hotel*
"Courtney...I need to ask you something..."
"What is it?" she replied.
"...Last night..you told me you loved me." i asked..weary of how she would reply.
She looked at me, she smiled and laughed.
"Dont laugh Courtney im really nervous!" i laughed.
"Jake...I told you I loved you..Because I always have. Ever since i met you."
A tear ran down my face.
"COurtney, if i could stop this car right now, I would give you the biggest hug,
but obviously, I dont want to die" i laughed.
She laughed along too.
I glanced at her,
"I love you
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BANG! BANG! BANG!
"RISE AND SHINE!!!" I giggled.
"The fuck.....what the...ANDY!!" CC yelled.
Heads popped up across the hotel room.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THE BANGING?" Jake moaned.
"GUYS!!....and GIRLS!! GET YOUR ASSES UP, BAND MEETING!" i shouted.
The all groaned..
"Whats the time?..." Ashley hoisted himself up off of the floor rubbing his eyes.
".....And what the fuck happened last night" He asked confusedly looking around the room.
"Its 10 am Ash, now help me get these fuckers up"
*15 minutes later*
Everyone was sat round the sofas. Ashley, CC, Jake, Courtney, Jinxx & Sammi.
I sat nervously.
"Dude spill the beans, you woke me up for this so come on" CC laughed.
"Well Ive been talking to a few people...and.." I struggled to get it out.
"Wellllll?" Sammi asked.
"Well apparently we raised some major shit at the after party last night.."
"What do you mean Andy?" Jinxx asked.
"Well apparently we got our first warning, someone filed a complaint against us last night
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"Fuck yeah these are some good donuts!" i laughed.
We were all heading back to the hotel room.
The door was open and there was blood....wtf.
We all went in and I saw Ashley bent over the sink.
"What in the shit happened Ash?"
He turned round to face us, we all gasped.
"Jake did it...i deserved it though." he replied, holding a rag up to his split lip and bruised face.
"Whoa, I knew he was on the edge but this is some crazy shit..why did he do it?" CC burst out, taking
a bite from his donut.
"Courtney..." Ashley murmered.
"What about her?" I asked seriously.
"ASHLEY, WHAT ABOUT MY SISTER?" i shouted. I was worried shitless.
"I...i forced myself upon her...I shouldnt have, I was..." he begged.
"WHAT THE FUCK MAN, I THOUGHT WE WERE BRO'S, thats my fucking sister!!"
I wanted to hit him so hard...I had to fight the urge.
I ran my hands through my hair, brought them down and smashed everything off the kitchen unit.
"WHERE IS SHE?" i growled angrily.
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"Jake, I want you to meet Jazz."
He looked at me angrily.
He took one look at her.
"Jinxx, a fucking word please?"
"Woah...calm it dude, whats the fucking problem?"
He scowled at me again.
"Well we are here, and our fucking girlfriends are sat at the hotel wondering where we are!!" He shouted at me.
"Jake...Jazz is my step-sister..."
His face dropped.
"Well why the fuck are we here? I dont feel comfortable being in a place like this..." Jake questioned.
"...Why do you think you havent seen me much lately and why Sammi hasnt been about?!"
"I dont get where your going with this Jinxx."
"Well, Jazz runs this joint and Sammi's always complaining about publicity for her band." I hinted.
"I still dont get it.."
"Ive been negotiating with Jazz, she said we can use her bar for publicity and stuff"
"But look at this place!! its full of sluts, what kind of image do you wanna give to the fucking public?" He scorned.
Two of the bartenders shot daggers at Jake as he said that.
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Those FUCKING jackasses. They always ruin everything for me. They promised they would stay at the party and give me time.
That moment was perfect...and now, its ruined. She'll never say yes now, she probably thinks im a dumbass.
And why the hell did I leave her there with them. What kind of boyfriend does that. Im a massive screw up.
I cant stop crying, for a man Im pretty emotional.
I dont even know where I am, all I know is that a bottle of Jack and this sidewalk seem pretty inviting right about now.
I cant, i have to keep my head. If I let myself go then she'll hate me. Courts always gets so worried about me.
I felt a hand grasp my shoulder.
"Dude...were really sorry about earlier." It was Andy.
I turned to face him and I could feel my fist clenching.
He backed away.
"Dude...really...I am sorry, I hope I havent screwed anything up for you" Andy looked solemn.
I let go of my anger, not here, not now, I cant hurt Andy, he's my family.
I just slouched and buried my h
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"Whats going on here?" Andy asked.
"Chill Andy its okay, Im just telling Ash that we all need to get over what happened"
"but he hurt you Courts" he versed. Confusion spread across his face.
"I dont care, Look at yourselves, this is destroying the band. For goodness sake, Where have
Sammi and Jinxx been these past few days, huh?"
"...I..i dont know" Andy shrugged.
"EXACTLY! You're all too caught up in this irrelevant shit to even remember why you're all here."
"So what youre saying is that we should forget that this happened?" he was growing more confused.
"No Andy...im saying Im going to forgive, i wont forget but Im fucking mature enough to get on with life"
The room fell silent.
"If thats how you want it to be then im down with that i s'pose."
"Just promise me that you guys are gonna be mature about this, instead of throwing your fists around the place."
They all looked at eachother. There was still tension between Jake and Ashley. Andy just stood ther
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"Ashley! Ashley! Dude...Ashley!!!"
"Uhh...guys I dont think he's gonna wake up" I said raising an eyebrow.
"we dont fucking need this right noW" Andy cussed.
Jinxx and Sammi were out shopping, It was just CC and Andy in the hotel suite. Courtney
was still sleeping.
"Should we be worried Andy?" I asked..
"Check his pulse or something, he's a heavy sleeper" he replied.
Before I could do anything he started coughing, and raised his head.
He was covered in blood, it had stained the table.
"What the fuck..." Ashley mused, holding his head. He was all over the place.
"Hey um, you think we should take him to the hospital?" i asked
"Ill call a doctor to come see us, wont be a minute." Andy replied.
Ashley sat there drifting in and out of conciousness.
Hmph. I feel weird. How did i end up in my bed? I rolled over, eyes half open. I looked up.
Jake? I slept with Jake?
"Morning beautiful" He mused.
"um....morning. What happened last night? Did we..?
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"God, Andy's such a poser..."
Ashley murmered as he walked towards the rest of the band at the back of the bus.
"but thats why we love him, hey?"...
Ashley spun round, it was an unexpectedly familliar voice.
"Whats the matter Ashley, you look like you've seen a ghost..."
Ashley stood in the middle of the bus, completely still, confused.
"wha...why...what are you doing here??"
Ash was stunned.
"What a way to make your girlfriend feel welcome, come 'ere baby"
Ashley's expression took a turn for the worse.
"Steph...we broke up two months ago, WHY are you here?"
Steph, flicked her long blonde hair off her shoulder and pouted,
"I thought you might want to take me back, it gets lonely on the road"
Steph shot a flirty wink at Ashley.
There was an awkward silence.
"NEYYYYAAAAWWWWWWWW BEEP BEEEEEEEP" CC was running up and down the bus with a makeshift cape, pretending to be an airplane, he crashed into Steph,
"KABOOOOM!, Wait...what...who's this Ashley?"
"ERGH YOU JERK,
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Jake hates me.
Why would he leave me like he did.
Ive messed up, why else would he rage like that.
"Hey, can I get you a drink?" I looked round to the man sat next to me at the bar.
"Hey, you're uh...Michael Vampire from vampires everywhere!...right?" i asked.
"I am" he laughed
"can I get you another drink" he smiled.
"Uh..yeah go for it, bloody mary please."
"Nice choice" He winked at me and handed the drink along.
"So...why are you here, on your own?" he asked.
"Long story, I dont wanna talk about it, I just want to drink it all away" I looked somberly.
"Are you sure thats wise?"
"Michael...right now I couldnt care less."
"You're Andy's sister right? Im sure he'd be worried about you" Michael mused.
I downed the drink and beckoned the waiter for another drink.
"Like I said, I dont care, and Im pretty sure he doesnt either" I sighed and grabbed another shot.
Michael raised his hand and tried to grab the drink.
"You really shouldnt be doing that, I know where this kinda
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*ANDY AND CROWD SINGING*
These times in life we learn to try, with one intention
Of learning how and when we'll die, but we cant listen
I wish to god I'd known that I, I didnt stand a chance
Of looking back and knowing why, or pain of circumstance
You're not alone
We'll brave this storm
So here's my song I wrote in time, when it was needed
Through pain of heart or loss of mind, your burdens lifted
You arent alone just know that I, cant save our hearts tonight
You're not alone
We'll brave this storm
And face today
You're not alone
You're not alone
We'll brave this storm
And face today
You're not alone
It was beautiful, the band finally pulled their shit together and started acting like a band.
All the shit that had happened in the past fortnight was forgotten about.
My brother knew how to work the crowd, as I stood and watched from the sidelines. The set was
coming to an end, Carolyn being the last song, I watched my boy Jake, he's beautiful, the way
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BVB! BVB! BVB!
"I...i cant do this Courtney...its too soon..what if i.."
"ANDY! forget the 'what ifs'...its never too soon to strive for your dreams. You've wanted this since you were a kid,
this IS YOUR lucky break, you wont screw it up, believe in yourself!!"
"but Courtney...im scared, what if i let the guys down? They would never forgive me"
Courtney stood parallel to him, placed her hands on his shoulders and looked at him in the eye.
"Andy, this isnt the brother I know, this is fear talking, you're supposed to be fearless, get your ass on that stage,
and play for those fans out there screaming for you. It all comes natural to you, you wont mess up, ive got faith in you.
Cmon man, this warpaint aint for nothin'. You got a mother fuckin' army waiting for you, go kill it!!!"
-3 YEARS LATER-
"...and thats where it all started. Black veil Brides wouldn't exist without my little sis, haha!"
Andy laughed, explaining his story to interviewers. Andy stood conf
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Here we all are, I feel so useless, I havent slept, I feel rough, we all do.
We're all living off of energy drinks. The atmosphere is so quiet, everyone is so worried
that neither of us know what to say.
The trailer park is fuckin empty, all the other bands left but we have to stay incase courtz comes
It was so fucking quiet, there was a rumbling in the distance, the place was cleared out so we were all
sorta hopeful that It might be a new lead.
Thank fuck they were still here.
I looked at Michael.
"Hey um, do you mind if i grab your number?" i smiled.
"Sure thing!" He smiled and grabbed my phone, he inputted his digits.
"thank you, i really appreciate everything you've done for me" I expressed.
"Courtney...really its fine, Me and Andy are buds, he'll be happy to know you're in safe hands" he smiled.
I felt weak at the knees when he smiled at me.
He got out of the jeep, walked round and opened my door for me.
A true gentleman.
Andy, CC, Jinxx, Sammi, A
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"Hey Jake can i get your autograph? I like...really really love you!!!!" the fan begged.
"Hey girl, sure thing." I signed her merch and gave her a hug.
"It was a pleasure meeting you" i smiled and waved her goodbye.
Everyday I see so many girls, yet im still single. Where am I going wrong? I though to myself.
"Yo, dude, wassaaaaap, you look kinda sad?" CC tapped me on the shoulder.
"Ehh, im just feeling lonely thats all" i replied.
"Aww jees man, you wanna cuddle up to me tonight? No homo..." CC laughed.
I jokingly punched him,
"Im not THAT lonely, man. I worry about you sometimes" i laughed back.
"Hey you know where I am" he winked.
I tutted. Signings were fun, I got to meet people that idolise me, something I NEVER imagined.
But i still felt so far from complete happiness, and i hated it. Dont get me wrong, I treasure
these experiences, I love the band and playing shows and doing what we do..but sometimes it doesnt
feel like enough.
A few more fans came along..
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-STILL COURTNEYS POV-
As we made our way down the hallway I could here shouting and laughing, coming from Andys room.
"ASH, I WILL BEAT YOU YOU CRAZY MOTHER FUCKER!" CC screamed.
"YOU WANNA BET YOUR SEXY LITTLE ASS?" Ashley shouted back.
Andy opened his suite door and pulled me inside. At this point my feet were killing me, i forgot my slippers.
"Hey guys! Look who's finally come out of their pit!" Andy laughed.
How embarrassing, i was stood there, half dressed, my hair was all wavy, and my makeup was much to be desired.
And they were all looking at me.
Ashley and CC paused the xbox.
I felt awkward...
"So drinks anyone?" Andy asked.
I quickly followed him to the kitchen area to avoid the others.
I could still see them, except i was more enclosed.
Ash and CC were sat on the sofa's Jinxx was snuggled up to Sammi out on the balcony.
And my beautiful Jake was sat at the table, in the corner of the room, his head was down.
I poured myself a pint of Jack daniels...straight. Just how I liked
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"Andy! Get out of my face!"
"Shh! He's going to wake up!"
"Bitch please get your ass off of me!"
I slowly opened my eyes and saw Jake, Andy, and Ashley crowding around me and Chelsea as if we were some animals in the zoo.
"What the fuck!" I hissed. "You're going to wake her up!"
"Mmph," she turned over.
"We had to watch this moment, it's like a once in a life time thing," Jake said.
"I'm really fucking sick of you all making fun of me! It's not impossible for me to meet a girl I like, and when I bring one home you don't need to crowd around us, seriously guys fuck the back off! I love you all and everything, you're my brothers, but seriously, give me some time for my fucking self!" I got up and walked into the kitchen, and slupped, on a banana peel.
"Who the fuck put that there!" I growled.
Ash started laughing hysterically.
"Fuck you Ashley!" I stormed out of the house.
I was in my boxers, just sitting on the front porch. I was pissed. Why do the guys all do this? When Ashley brings a
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Where the fuck is she, Its been hours, I havent slept, I still dont know where she is.
We went to the bar last night but they couldnt give us any clues, they said it was too busy.
"Look man, we will find her okay, maybe she'll come back by herself" Ash said as he passed me in the bus.
"We'll help you as much as we can" Jinxx and Sammi spoke.
Everyone had a hangover from the party but we all had better things to worry about.
Andy had been pacing the length of the bus since early hours of this morning.
We're all going crazy.
I rolled over to see a man lounging on the bed next to me.
I rubbed my eyes.
He looked at me.
"The party animal finally awakes" He laughed.
My head was pounding, where the hell was I.
"Dont worry, im a friendly" He smiled.
I opened my eyes fully, and noticed i it was Michael, and I was still in last nights clothes. Then I remembered the party.
"I..I got drunk last night didnt I"
"Haha you sure did, I brought you back here, you were out of
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Im so nervous, its been three years since i saw my brother properly. After I left home to go set up a piercing shop
in London, i barely got a phone call from him, but we were like two peas in a pod, we've always been close.
I wonder if the boys will recognise me.
Jake..Jinxx...Ashley...CC. I miss them all.
"Cooooouurtneeeey" I hurled my suitcase out of the boot of the taxi and handed a note to the driver.
It was Sammi. I smiled and waved at her, she had come to meet me from LAX. I asked her to instead of Andy,
he's not expecting me for a week.
"Saaammi, so good to finally see a friendly face, flying first class is freakin lonely." i laughed.
She ran up to me and gave me a huge hug, she stood back and pondered.
"Chick what are you wearing? Its not winter over here you know" she giggled.
"It was cold back in England okay! Can we stop off somewhere so i can change into something a little more...appropriate?"
"Sure thing, we can get Lucas to drop us off at my crib
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"JAKE! please just stop this, I cant take anymore of this" I cried.
Jake had started taking his anger out on whatever he could find in the bus.
He grabbed a bottle and smashed it on the table.
"JAKE PLEASE!" I was now REALLY scared.
"Dude did you just hear a smash?"
"JAKE STOP PLEASE"
"Was that Courtney? What the fuck is going on in there.." I said to Andy.
"I dont like the sound of that"
As we all got up a bottle smashed through the bus window.
"What the fuck!!!" I shouted.
"FUCKING HELL, COURTNEY WE'RE COMING!" Andy shouted.
We all ran onto the bus, Courtney was sat in the corner, shaking. She looked like a ghost, she had a fat lip and was bleeding.
Jake was in a blood rage. He was going insane. It was almost like something inside of his head snapped.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN HERE?" Andy shouted.
He distracted Andy whilst I ran in for Courtney.
"Courtney, what has he done to you?" I begged her to say something.
She was stone cold, shaking and bloody
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"The boys are gonna love you Courts, you know they will"
"Are you sure? I dont wanna be a burden to you all on the tour...haha" Courtney laughed down the phone.
"Courts, you're a fucking legend, dont be such a pussy, cmon you'll love it" she was easy to persuade.
"Ohh go on then, but only for you Andrew"
"Hey, you might be family, but NOBODY calls me Andrew" I cursed.
"Take a chill pill bro, I'll book a flight to LAX, i'll text you the deets and you can come get me"
"Okay hun, anything for my little sister" i teased.
"Hey i might be little, but theres only 2 years between us, I can still kick your ass!!" she giggled.
"Anyway's, I gotta roll sis, CC needs my help with something, i love you" I mused.
"Alrighty, talk soon Andy, love you too"
I hung up, and smiled. I loved my sister, she was always so high on life, at least I hope thats what she's high on.
She can be a bit of a live-wire, almost as crazy as CC on a good day. Im so glad she's coming to meet the boys again.
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I really hope that Courtney is okay, I felt bad leaving her alone.
and now, here I am, driving to a hospital to get her. Her cuts and cruises were no way near this serious.
It's got me worried, at least she is with Ash.
The highway was so quiet at this time of day, it took me about ten minutes to get to the hospital from the studios.
I pulled into the hospital entrance to find Ash and Courtney standing by the side of the car park, I beeped the horn.
They both turned round and Courtney waved and skipped over.
I beckoned them both to get in.
Courtney took the passenger seat, whilst Ash occupied the back seat.
I looked at Courtney,
"What the hell happened to you? Your face...and your arm?"
She looked at me,
"Really long story Michael, I'll explain later?" She replied.
"But your lip wasnt like that when I left you..."
Ash leant forward.
"It was indirectly Jake...but she's okay now" He informed.
"What? Jake hurt you? Why? Courtney? Ash? Someone explain?" I panicked. She's jus
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I was so nervous, I was so scared to see Jake again. I didn't want to see him hurting, I didn't want to see him in pain.
I knew that I had a decision to make. It's either Michael or Jake.
Why did I have to decide? Why couldn't things just be how they were, no angry, violent Jake, and no knight in shining armor, Michael.
I cant hurt either of them, but I've been so selfish. I already have everything a girl wants, and Im about to trade it in, for
what exactly? A life with an amazing, loving, caring man but life long guilt on my shoulders. Or I could stay with Jake, and
live the rest of my life wondering what I could have had.
I haven't even known Michael properly for that long. Maybe I should just stay with Jake...for now.
It was strangely quiet on the bus, hopefully Jake has calmed down.
Michael lead me to the back of the bus, where all the guys including Ash were playing the xbox.
They all looked as if nothing had even happened, crazy.
Michael winked at me and coughed.