Away From HerePacing the room like an insomniac, can notAway From Here4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Leave the door open
Even just a crack.
A strong feeling takes over me.
Scared my heart will beat out of my chest.
Everything is such a mess.
Tears hidden behind this mask
Abandon all hope that
Keeps me here.
Every time I try to sleep my
Memories will forever haunt me.
Empathy is not one of my abilities
Apathy is what plagues me.
When all feelings seem to
Yelling and screaming
From the top of my lungs.
Regret surfacing from events passed.
Only my own brand of insanity helping me out.
Many times before
Have I wondered will I
Ever be able to
HiddenHiding from society,Hidden5 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Ashamed of what I do,
Whating to stop
But having to get through.
Each day lasts forever
As the blade calls out,
Won't be able to resist
Of that I have no doubt.
Weak and ashamed
Haunted by the past,
Taunted and shunned
Forever to be harassed.
Of all things which haunt us
Steriotypes be the worst
They judge and ridicule
Make us feel cursed.
And so we must return
To our one, our only friend,
The only one to understand us
Until the very end.
IsopropylDon't tell me I'm wrongIsopropyl4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Don't tell me that everything will be alright
How can any of that be true?
Especially after what has happened these past nights
Where I'm struggling to hold on tight
To this twisted and corrupt life.
Lost in the darkness
Can't find my way out
All this pain is being harnessed
For what I am not sure
What will be my cure?
Not like the last
None of this will ever again matter
Is that not what I am to believe?
Frozen deep inside
My heart will no longer beat
Slowing with every word I hear
Every message I read
The silent ones hurt the most
A soul without a host
Fear and tears
Have come much too late
Days come and gone
How wicked is this fate
Something's even mindlessness
Can not fix.
To forsake all thought
Brings new ones to the surface
No, don't tell me I'm wrong
Don't say that, what I believe is false
These words you say
Are laws to me
Mean the world to me
Stopping the world around me with one word
Can strip my life away
Is that wrong
Being BraveSo you think you know meBeing Brave4 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
You think you've got me all figured out
But you don't know what it's like
To have all this insecurity and doubt.
So you want to know what's wrong
When tears are streaming down my face
You say you want to help me
But some scars you can't erase.
You plead for me to explain
As you squeeze my trembling hand
But I don't know what to say
That will make you understand.
These fears that haunt me daily
May seem small and dumb to you
But they control my mind
And there's nothing I can do.
You tell me to get over it
To step outside my cave
But you see, I cannot comprehend
This concept of being brave.
A Dying LetterI like to write, because i can express myself better, or maybe thats not why...maybe its because when i write something silly i can just erase it, you would never know it happened, but when i speak its not the same...i say something silly, i cant erase it because youve just heard me, then you get upset or angry...and really speaking is harder than writing.A Dying Letter4 years ago in Letters More Like This
I mean i may not be great at what i write, and i could have the worst spelling mistakes or my sentences wouldnt make sense, prehaps right now it isnt making any, but it doesnt matter, because i get lost when i write.
Really this kind of writing i would just write then save or throw away, but i want you to see, i want to share it with you...
You know me the best, you really do, but its like theres still so much you dont know...and i want to constantly show you this part of me, or i want you to see it, but i dont know what it is...and im searching for it all the time, but i cant seem to find this other me...and maybe if i di
No GoodbyesWe bought our kids 40 cupsNo Goodbyes4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
One to break at christmas
The other at easter
So the day they turned 20
That which was shattered
Could be whole once more in dreams
But Sean he was a strong willed kid
Left our home and heart at the age of 19
He took to the flag he was taught to love
In the second regimental
They asked him to serve
So he jumped to attention
Took up arms
As he went into the sandbox
He told me to await his return
If his was a life to be diminished
That I'd break his cups against the kitchen wall
Donate his toys to the poor
Tell his love he'd be back at noon
So she should hate him not miss him
I prayed every day
This war might one day end
That I could go home one day
Find a letter in the post
That said "to dad"
So Sean's final words
He'd be able to oust
At my bed in the end
I was out sick one day
Had worked to long in the factory
As the doorbell rang
I had not in my head any idea
Who was to be at the door
So I looked the men up and down
Asked them who they were
Confessions of a Cutter1. No matter how many times you tell me that you'll never hurt me, I still worry that I'll give you a reason to change your mind.Confessions of a Cutter4 years ago in Emotional More Like This
2. I'm not sure I'll ever know which is uglier: what I cut myself into, or what you do to me that makes me cut.
3. One, two. The third time's the charm. I guess that means no more suicide attempts for me.
4. I once walked the same half-mile track 26 times to keep from cutting. I did anyway.
5. I've gone 63 hours without eating. When I did eat, I was so mad at yself that I shook. I had eaten five baked Lays chips.
6. One of my closest friends uses the phrase 'that's not good enough,' as a reply to things that I do that she wants me to change. I never tell her how much that makes me hate myself for not being her 'good enough.' I know she does it so that I pull myself out of bad places.
7. I'd be your everlasting see-saw counter-balance - the only one that would dare keep you off of the polluted, rat-infested ground.
8. Don't you dare die first. (I'm afraid tha
ControlAs a teenager,Control3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I have very little say in anything
It seems as though
Am merely a puppet
That everyone holds the strings to
People are always telling me what I
Braided VeinsYou were 26. Paralyzed, certain, and beautiful.Braided Veins4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I was 15. Naive, lost, and unaware.
Somewhere along the line I braided the veins in my wrist to match the scars in my soul.
You told me once that you felt sorry for me, and all I could bring myself to do was laugh.
And it is then I realized tragedy and despair only lived in the mind, but only if you let them.
The difference between us was so alarming, painful.
Your legs didn't work and you loved this existence.
My legs were beautiful, spread open for every stranger, and only to feel alive.
You once put your lips against my chest and told me you could hear my heart ticking like a clock.
I knew you were lying, because my heart was cut out years ago.
But I liked the way your lips felt pressed against my flesh
, so I didn't bother to argue.