My pen and ICareful thoughts and many wordsMy pen and I4 years ago in Scraps More Like This
my pen and I do weave,
from the shadows, from the depths,
the darkness told to me.
Darkness growing ever closer,
as the time goes by...
I stay awake to keep away
the darkened dreams that rise.
Day for a DepressiveDragging along is a simple thingDay for a Depressive4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
here there is no pleasure;
Walking numb without a course
Not that SimplePlease,Not that Simple4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Oh sure-and-stubborn teacher,
stop telling me
her death deserves no mourning.
It was a choice, yes or no
and it's all her fault.
It isn't that simple.
Don't look me in the eyes--
My eyes, that have seen my own blood
more times than I can count; eyes
that have closed tight as a knife was held
to my throat by my own hand;
eyes that read the labels on those bottles
wondering how many pills
would stop my lungs--
don't look me in the eyes and tell me
it's simply yes or no.
HopeWorry not, my one, for if you'll hear;Hope4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Put the dead ground to thine ear,
Hark! Spring's new sound shall echo through
Thine chest, thine eyes, are born anew.
My PrisonHere I lie, forever a prisoner...My Prison4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
not of oppression, not of hate...
but a prisoner of my own dark mind...
forever trapped with no way out.
I bang on the bars...
but nobody comes...
to break me free...
from my own dark mind.
I scream for one...
to come help me...
but here I remain...
a prisoner of my own dark mind.
Why must I be a prisoner?
Why must I be trapped here...
held inside my own taboo...
forever within my own dark mind?
My soul is long broken...
within my dark mind...
it is deteriorating...
slowly breaking down...
So, who will guide me out of my prison?
Who will free me from my own dark mind?
Who out there will be my savior...
to liberate me from my own dark mind...
CrazyI hate the way you make me feel,Crazy4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I hate the way you look at her.
I love the way you hug me,
I love the way you smile.
I love the way you play me,
It keeps me on my toes.
I hate the way you toss me aside,
Stranded on my own.
I love the way your warmth surrounds me,
It makes me feel protected.
I love the way you laugh,
A sound of golden silk.
I hate the way you're so arrogant,
The way you are so self confident.
But I also -
Love the way you make me feel,
It shows that I'm alive.
Hate the way you hug me,
It makes me want you more.
Hate the way you smile,
It draws me in.
Hate the way you play me,
Keeping me caged.
Love the way you toss me aside,
Showing me what the world is like.
Hate the way your warmth surrounds me,
Makes me realize I'm no longer yours.
Hate the way you laugh,
It's always in my head.
Love the way you're arrogant,
Showing you're confident in who you are.
It shows I hate you more than I love you.
But I know, even with everything I hate,
ReflectionsI contemplate of the dissociative phases,Reflections4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
marking a past and hesitant future wandering beyond the black,
painting a crimson canvas and hushed memories,
wandering away from a distant reality;
these limbs are not attached,
nor is the mind to a heartbeat,
gradually seeping within the soil,
and silencing the last plea for redemption.
.::Tears::.I hide myself inside this darkened room..::Tears::.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I cry alone, knowing you don't care.
I live full of sadness and doom.
I know that you were never truly there.
These tears I shed, are full of cries.
With these my heart is set on fire.
I'm sick of the dove that dies.
In my heart, i always knew you were a liar.
And with this gun, i can end it all.
I hope to never see you not even in hell.
Inside me I can do nothing but fall.
I see these lies you're trying to sell...
Pity's PartyCome on, just look at me,Pity's Party4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I lost Happy to Misery,
In a dance with Pedigree,
Amidst the sirens of Apathy,
In the mosh pit in my head.
Can't you see how fun I am?
When my Pride's on the lam,
Sipping Sorrow like Baby Cham,
Falling foul of Honesty's scam,
On the dance floor in my chest.
I look so grievously good,
Doing what Agony should,
And what Depravity would,
In command of the red regiments stood,
On the catwalk of my wrist.
I can hear them pounding,
Watching and surrounding,
Laughing and floundering,
With Pain and Woe hounding,
In the nightclub of my gut.
My guests are saying to,
Cheer no longer pulling through,
Despair sticking like glue,
With Sin ready to sue,
At the opera in my throat.
Watch me as I lose control,
As Loneliness takes it's toll,
Filling out Insanity's role,
Joining Death's lost shoal,
Inside the crypt of life.
See my eyes flutter and fade,
Marching in the Black Parade,
Finding shelter in Hate's shade,
And losing all I had ever made,
As the curtain closes,
To a dozen
We are all equalThe child winced in pain; he did not fathom why he was put through this hell. Lashing after lashing with his father's cane, why didn't his daddy wish him well?We are all equal4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
He tried to be the perfect son, but nothing is quite perfect, fighting an invisible battle with a wrongly titled defect.
He cried at night with terror, for fear of having his head smashed into the wall.
His father proclaimed his error "You're not my son at all!"
The boy felt anxious it was his first day of High-School, "You won't fit in." Came his father's shout. In this day and age it simply wasn't cool to come out.
He spent his hours hoping, begging for a change. He was barely coping as it was, it's not his fault he was strange.
Time did not fly by, not once in this poor boys life. Each day a little of him would die, all because society deemed he should have a wife.
He had most of his life in fear, dreading to reveal the truth. He had shed so many tears ever since his youth.
His father had passed away; he could be joyful at la
7 Angels lyrics [Spoken]7 Angels lyrics4 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Here's a rose, as solid memory
Take it to honor the one you still love
Why is it? That I can no longer breathe
Their eyes perceive, and their mouths critique
Why should they care, why should you matter?
And I don't get how I could stay in a life like this
My only options to fight with a double sided knife
Keep pushing in to live, pull it back to stab myself twice
But you like it, you hate it, you wouldn't have it any other way
[End intro begin with normal rap]
Stop saying "someone" it's not someone that I'm after
It's the one who's my everything, the one that I went after
The one, who doesn't understand why I am the way I am
Or maybe she does, but she denies the fact she'll ever make it
She wants to sit at home, take time to herself and give up
Feeding an alcohol addiction, her only chance is to keep slipping up
She knows she's insane, keeps adding stress, keeps losing weight
But she's not the one to blame, they treat her all the same
Day to dayWE don't talkDay to day4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you don't look me in the eye anymore
Words linger on my tongue "are we done?"
You differ from any talk of us apart
What does that mean?
Why can't you tell me how you really feel?
Why is this so difficult?
Close your eyes and tell me
Write it down
I need an answer and you are keeping me waiting for too long....
Tragic CoincidenceI wrote of a bullied suicideTragic Coincidence4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A girl who could no longer handle the hurtful names
The thoughts that went through other's minds
Little did I know
It was happening right before my eyes
Not of the same type of bullying
But bullying nonetheless
She showed no signs
No symptoms at all
To make any of us believe
She wanted out
Just a week before the occurrence
I was thinking of suicide
What it was like
How people need to realize it is real
To realize bullying can easily cause it
I hoped and prayed the domino effect
Would not reach my circle of friends
I guess my prayers were not answered
We do not know
We do not understand what went through her head
Why did she not talk to us?
She promised she would
But now our triangle has been altered
To physical and in spirit
It is coincidental
Bullying is serious
Suicide is serious
Talk to someone please
"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem "
The story of BecI was fucked up. I didn't need a doctor or a specialist to tell me that. I guess I've know that ever since I started obeying the urges, to put steel to skin, blade to blood; the urges which have become my reality.The story of Bec4 years ago in Emotional More Like This
It started before I was even born. My father abused my mother, more so when she was pregnant with her second child - me. Her first child, my brother, had been a miscarriage so I was her light and hope again. Soon after I was born she left. I don't know where she went; her body stayed but the bright , happy and strong woman I knew had left. She became a punch bag for my father. Physically and mentally: my father had a way of saying things that made you feel so shit about yourself.
My name is Bec. This is my voice.
Bang! The door slams in my face as I collapse against the wall, gasping for life. My chest as tight as my fathers hands had been; mere seconds ago although it seemed like hours. My mind racing as I search for answers: What did I do to deserve this? What
Forever NeverI pull into the drive way, putting my legs on either side of the bike, cussing myself for not adjusting it before I took off. I begin to walk it forward trying to get it under the covering only stopping when I drag my leg across the white rose bush. The thorns only had a second but they did damage. I manage to get the bike under the car cover, and pocket the keys. Something about this feels so natural, but another part is afraid to go in. I pull the other keys on a lanyard from my back pocket and walk up to the door. As I swing the door open I am afraid that I will be greeted with dust, and bugs. But, as I walk in and flip the light putting the keys on the pool table, I remember there is still a once a week maid service. His parents said they would keep the house, mostly because they didn't want to get rid of his stuff, and the fact that his roommate was still living there. I make sure to lock the door behind me. But, when I turn back around the tears begin to pour. Memories make theirForever Never4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Criticize Me.You judge us all, you and your bitter tongue.Criticize Me.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You call her a slut, you say that he's fat,
You tell me I can't draw, I can't act, I can't sing,
You say to your friends that I'm ugly and make fun of my hair,
You read all the things I write just to make fun,
You tell me I'm unwanted, uncared for, unloved.
You know what?
Tired of being pushed around.
Tired of being made fun of, embarrassed,
Tired of you and your criticism of me.
I don't have a life? Says the guy who spends his time pointing out the flaws of others.
So What do you have to say now? Going to try and make fun of me some more?
Well, you can't hurt me if I don't care.
And TRUST ME: I won't.
Not about you,
Not about your life,
Not about your criticism of me.
Am just a mistake?SoAm just a mistake?4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Am just a mistake?
You thought you couldn't have babies anymore?
And you didn't want anymore?
You say that you've gave up your life to your kids bur no more?
Mom I don't get it
You said I love you
Then make it like my life is turning up side down
I really don't understand you mom
If you don't want me then I'll get rid of my self for you
Always a monsterOnce a monster, always a monster.Always a monster4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Thats what I thought when I learnt that my sister had been murdered. When I walked into the room to find her bloody, broken body, and watched as it was transformed to that pale dead corpse being lowered into the ground, I knew a human had done this. That it wasnt an accident. Only a human was capable of such cruelty and hatred. It used to keep me up at nights, wondering what I would do without her in my life, wondering what was worse; living with the knowledge of how she had died or living at all.
Living was impossible. I couldn't flip through the TV without seeing her favourite shows, or eat my dinner without imagining my sister arguing her way out of eating brocilli. The mourning was long, never-ending, a pathway of sadness. Along that road, the grief would sometimes hit me out of nowhere, doubling me over, making sobs rack my body. How could somebody do that to her? How could anyone do that to a little girl so filled with light and love, filled with
Pillows That Hide ConfusionLiving life without the thought of an illusion,Pillows That Hide Confusion4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Love he expresses, thus love is my conclusion,
Standing alone following the bell, I stand outside of school,
Knowing that my daddy will soon arrive holding a rule,
A one that he calls a secret, one I keep hidden from the law,
One that I cover with a layer of ignorance while it attacks my core,
I live this lie without knowing that one day it will attack,
Until that moment I survive without knowing one day their will be an impact,
One to battle with a councillor holding my hand,
One that surfaces only when I attempt to think, to stand,
I see dads' cars heading towards me,
I laugh and feel proud that I he can see,
He tightened my seat belt to keep me safe, free from fear,
Then looks down with a smile that battles his ability to stear,
We arrive home, he asks me take a shower,
I get undressed and wash my body, he stands holding power,
He picks me up as his pants come down,
Laying silent at first, no need for a sound,
He asks me to watch, his
Sinned by the name of Love.I believe that LOVESinned by the name of Love.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
is in the realms before CONFLICT.
But, then again, SOME
of the worst sins human beings COMMIT
are done in the name of
So does that make love
SuppressedThere are somethings I just don't get about being a teenager. These are supposed to be your care free years in which you really find yourself, experiment, and just allow yourself to be you. Yet for some reason almost everyone I know is not letting me do this. Its so weird, one of the worst offenders is my very on father. My own parent. I'm not sure if he knows that he is doing this and I really hope he doesn't because if he is aware of the fact then I have no idea what I would do.Suppressed4 years ago in Emotional More Like This
The culture I live in is so upside down and backwards. It's wanting you to be supportive of everyone and everything, but yet it is so judgmental. It may be fine with being one thing, but shun you for being another. We tell everyone that it is good to be unique, however when they do try to be themselves we tell them that it is bad and to be more like this person or that person. I never realized this until today. I thought that my small town was annoying, yeah, but so supportive of everyone.
Or so I thou
I Am MeIm in the darkI Am Me4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i think not
not a chance
im over weight
who gives a damn... certainly not me
say what you will
but im exactly who i want to be
people cant figure me out... oh well
im the misuderstood artist
im sensiteive but tough when i need to be
you want me to follow my sister
well i want to follow my own path
everything is about me... everythin you see and dont see
is all ME!