Insight to AnorexiaWhy must this be so hard?Insight to Anorexia5 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
I take a sip of the bitter, black coffee in front of me as I stare at the apple. If the apple had a brain, it would probably be thinking the same thing. I've been staring at it, trying to decide whether or not to eat it, for exactly six minutes. I've counted. I sigh as I realize it really is the "Forbidden Fruit." Then again, Anorexia forbids all food. Fruit or not.
There are only 76 little calories in that apple, I try reasoning with Ana. 76. I could work those off in no time.
I sigh again and stretch my arms above my head. I can feel my skin tauten across my ribs. I run my fingers along my perfectly sculpted bones and wish there was some other way to make my stomach stop growling.
So, you want to ruin everything you've worked for? Her voice booms in my head. I've awakened the beast.
No. Of course I don't. I just don't want to be in constant agony anymore.
Hunger is a feeling, thin is a skill. She quotes.
hematophilia"did you crawl in through the hole in the fence again?"hematophilia5 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"then why are your knees muddy? and your elbows scraped?"
"because i saw a dog get run over on the highway by an eighteen-wheeler last night."
"yeah. i saw its guts unravel like streamers, like those snakes-in-a-can."
"yeah. there was so much blood; i rolled around in it, and it smelled like dirt and pennies."
"yeah. it's stuck under my fingernails, too. i can't fucking get rid of it."
"is that from rolling in it?"
"no; i scooped some up and put it in an empty vodka bottle so i could paint with it later."
"why'd you have an alcohol container in your car?"
"i forgot to throw it when i was at the redemption centre."
"that's for your anger management, right?"
"you'd paint with a dying dog's blood?"
"dead, not dying. and it was this really great shade of red that you just can't make with acrylics."
"how about watercolours?"
"i fucking hate watercolours."
"oils take foreve
what i notice about peoplepeople cannot sit still. they fidget, they worry about their weight, they lie on stiff bones, they twist nervous hairs. awkward situations call for awkward laughter, but it is never funny.what i notice about people5 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
people form habits to feel there is consistency and a ledge to grip on this slipping world. wake-up-at-seven-oh-three-and-get-out-of-bed-by-seven-oh-five-and-put-on-size-seven-blue-slippers-right-next-to-bed-and-brush-teeth-and-shower-and-bring-coffee-to-work-and-drive-to-work-and-walk-in-at-eight-thirty.
people will happily call their favourite song (shoes/beliefs/friend/mother) stupid if someone says so first. people see differences as swimming against the current: certainly, they'll drown.
people imagine love where there isn't any. if there is an arguable position of love and hate, they will admit that it is hate, but believe that it is love. tell them that they are loved, they will trust it. tell them that sex is another name for love, they will use the words interchangably. romantics at heart an
BulimiaOnce Upon A Time in a land not so very far away there lived a little princess. She was very kind and beautiful, and her subjects loved her very much. She had a big, wide smile, pink, rosy cheeks, and a heart bigger than anyone else in the kingdom. Her love was so great that she shared the feelings of all of her people. If one cried, she sobbed with them. If they were angry, she would storm the castle and beat at the walls. And if they were happy, so was she.Bulimia7 years ago in Children and Teen More Like This
One day the little princess was alone in her castle. Her parents, the king and queen, were gone, her friends had all gone home, and she was very bored. She ran up and down the long corridors and threw open every door, exploring the entire palace from top to bottom. Just as she was about to lose interest and do something else, she noticed a door she had never seen before. She opened it slowly and peered inside. It was very dark and scary, but it was also warm and oddly familiar. She considered the warnings of her parents to never go
This is AnaDear Reader,This is Ana3 years ago in Letters More Like This
So, you want to be skinny? I don't blame you. You're the fattest human being I've ever seen. I honestly don't know why you let yourself live. I have a lot of work to do, so you'd better listen up and follow every single instruction I give you.
Food makes you fat. Calories are your natural enemy. Think you're hungry? Think again. You want to put something in that tummy of yours? Not while I'm here. Eating is for people with no self-control. You're better than that, I hope. What defines us as people? Will power. Show some. Put down that fork. Do you really need to eat dinner? You can pass on breakfast and lunch, too. Look in the mirror. What do you see? Fat. It's everywhere, spreading over your body like a disease. Why on earth would you need food when you have so much of it under your skin? Gluttony is as much a sin as it is repulsive. Let's not embarrass ourselves.
You know your boyfr
north station"why is it you always come home covered in blood?"north station5 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"because i never bring a change of clothes with me."
"is it your blood this time, or someone else's?"
"oh, it's rebecca's."
"why is rebecca bleeding?"
"i think she's stopped by now."
"glad to hear it, but why was she bleeding in the first place?"
"right. rebecca got hit by a train."
"gosh- is she alright?"
"yeah, of course."
"shit, good thing. man, what happened?"
"i told you, rebecca got hit by a train."
"no shit. i mean, how did she get hit by the train?"
"well, see, she was on the tracks at the moment the train was-"
"fuck off. you know what i mean."
"i'm just messing with you."
"are you going to tell me?"
"not really, no."
"because you're an ugly fucker."
"yeah, you are. hey- don't touch me."
"shit- it's not like i want to. just why are you covered in blood?"
"rebecca got hit by a train."
"yeah, i get that. but why are you the one who's bloody?"
"i was too close."
"you were by her when she fell on the trac
The Lost One's Weeping - Singable English LyricsThe stabbing distrust finally breaks my skinThe Lost One's Weeping - Singable English Lyrics1 year ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Through the injury, I can feel it pouring in
The fragile love that I hold so dear within
Becomes a weapon as it turns itself into a sharp knife
This is life
I excel at math and science, and I’m proud of it
As for language, I’m not that good, I admit
I’m so worried that I will make a mistake
I have to be careful with each move that I take
The homework is a self-portrait due on the next day
I realize there’s nothing about myself I can say
Who am I, and who are my friends? What're my goals and my dreams?
I start to wonder if
I’m satisfied like this
Can you read all of the words on the blackboard ahead?
Do you think you can read all of the thoughts in my head?
Can you tell me who picked at my heart until it bled?
Please tell me who it was
Please tell me who it was
So solve this equation, and make sure it’s correct
So loosen up the noose that is wrapped ‘round my neck
What’d come of me if I carried
LoveLove3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
What is love?
Is love the way he smiles at you from afar?
Is love the way you shyly look away?
No, love is more special.
Is love the feeling you get when your eyes meet?
When you get butterfly's in you stomach that wont go away?
No, love is more intimate.
Love is when you can't go a day without seeing or talking
To that other person.
Love is When your heart aches whenever that person is hurt
Love isn't something you can find in a cereal box,
Or pick up off the street.
Love is deeper than that.
Love is a connection like no other.
So what is love?
Tiger EyesHidden between a ribcageTiger Eyes3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
not fit for company, or
I grasped your heart, tightly.
We were a mess of ugly
metaphors, and tongues
gone limp-from far to many
late night, gunpowder kisses.
The kind that left nostalgic
paper cut hearts that burned
and ached, lonesome for you
after months of itching.
Tired, but deadly, I once found
you resting at my feet, peering
up with hungry tiger eyes and
[ I never wanted you more. ]
Introduction"Hey"Introduction3 years ago in Emotional More Like This
"Do I know you?"
"No, but I know you."
"Yea, you're the girl whose boyfriend cheated on her"
"And he tore you into pieces and broke your heart and you've never been able to trust
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You're the girl whose parents got separated living in one house and then the other."
"How do you..."
"You're the girl whose friends betrayed her. They just toyed around with you until they found out you were no use for them anymore and let you hanging"
"STOP IT!" Her eyes stinging with tears
"You're the girl who lied to her mom to go to parties."
"That is not true." Her voice wobbly
"You're the girl who cried herself to sleep at nights when she lost all faith."
"I did not cry alright"
"You changed yourself to fit in but still no one accepted you."
"You're the girl who hides the scars under her sleeves so no one will call her names."
"It helps ease the pain." The tears threatening to escape
"You're the one who took th
Fingers CrossedThe rain poursFingers Crossed3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
as I watch
a broken window
In front of me
It symbolizes my heart
You know, I thought
you were the one
The person who would
Take away all my pain
The one to fill my heart
Instead of breaking it
You'd be the only one
I kept that promise
You promised the same
But broke it the same day
There's nothing to say anymore
I hold a cup in both hands
The warming in my hands
Not reaching my soul
My soul. Frozen
I don't know who I am anymore
Because of you
I became half a person
You were the other.
that's what I thought
Now, with a new woman
On your arm
You smile and laugh
Everything's okay again
You got her. You killed me
I hope your happy
You got what you wanted
When I told you I loved you
And that i'd never hurt you
I meant it.
Little did I know.
When you promised the same
Your fingers were crossed
For thinking you could be mine
For thinking we could be together
Now, I'm all alone
Facing the world
I Miss YouDear Grandpa,I Miss You3 years ago in Letters More Like This
It's been so long since I came by to see you It's been hard since you left. It took days to convince myself to come see you today. I'm glad I did. I'll come by more often I promise.
I brought you a rose, your favorite. We still keep your roses in the garden at you and Grandma's house. They never bloomed as beautiful once you left, but every winter we prep them for the spring. They make me feel a little closer to you when I see them bloom. Grandma and I considered taking them out of the garden, but we just couldn't bring ourselves to do it. It hurts to see them, but we love you too much to take something you loved so much out of our lives. We just couldn't do it.
I'd stay longer but I just can't.
I'll visit soon.
Love you always,
What's heaven like? Do you even know? I hope so. I always be
Paint your rosesIn the queens garden, her roses are white.Paint your roses3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
To her, it's a distasteful sight.
Boring and plain, her garden sits.
The queen throws her fits.
"Why not paint them?" said little Alice.
Painting roses at the Queen's palace.
Paint them red, red as blood.
Kneeling in the mud.
Alice, so sweet, so small.
Alice shows them all.
You do not like what you see.
Change it, make it pretty.
Paint your roses.
And it involved... +yaoi+And it involved... +yaoi+7 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
And it Involved a School-Girl Uniform
The practice session with his Thursday afternoon student was just wrapping up when Adrions doorbell rang and rang, and rang and continued to ring. Irritated by the obnoxious noise, Adrion swung open the front door poised to give whoever was stand there a piece of his mind. Only when he saw just what was standing at his front door all thought process came to a screeching halt, and he could only stare.
Until his brain finally registered just what was in front of him.
Akira? What the hell are you wearing?!!
There standing in front of Adrions apartment door was the
Monster, how should I feel?So go ahead and destroy my heart.Monster, how should I feel?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Crack it open and suck on it's pieces as if it was a sweet candy.
Drain it of it's beautiful red and blood.
It's not as if it was doing me any good.
I have long forgotten the feeling.
The feeling of a true laugh,
of loving him and being loved back,
of perfect peacefulness.
It's all gone,
gone as if it was never there at all.
Was it ever truly there I wonder?
The obsession that shouldn't be there,
the love I struggle to find.
It's like the world just loves to see how much I can possibly take.
It can't find enough to take from me.
It's laughing at my pain.
The holes and cracks in my heart,
the world simply sneers at.
At least,I'm glad, I could entertain the world for a short time.
The world we live inRejection of love,The world we live in3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Acceptance of hate,
Rejection of life,
Acceptance of death,
Obedient to fear,
A slave to your own existence.
Your Smile"Can I ask you a question?"Your Smile3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
"You just did."
"Alright, smartass. Be serious. Can I ask you a real question?"
"You know you can always ask me anything."
"Okay. You constantly ask what I wish for at 11:11."
"I'll tell you if you answer something for me."
"Deal. What do you wish for?"
"I wish for you."
"What do you wish for?"
"I wish... I wish that not a single day goes by where I don't get to see your smile."
My escape is youMy escape is you.My escape is you3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I see a change within myself,
The way I act, the way I feel.
Time doesn't register anymore
And when I taste or touch, nothing seems real
Though my dreams are vivid, I know they are untrue
Because I walk, I feel and spend my time with you.
The days are long and listless as I wait for my escape.
I'm addicted, my head is swimming but I can't stop now.
My path is chosen.
A tunnel of mystic light
Surrounds me as I fly
And I start to feel something again
As your hand caresses mine.
I'm never leaving, here I must stay
But my fragile human body keeps pulling me away.
I have a brain, I have a heart but neither of them can start.
This is not living, this is imprisonment.
I can't break free, believe me, I've tried
But My earthly bound entity has died
And this feeling of hopelessness and helplessness
Is because I fell for you
But it's not your fault because
That's why I sneak away each night
To visions of pure bliss
That way your lips, your eyes, you voice, your s
Her name was desire.Sometimes, When I'm bored, and daydreaming,Her name was desire.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I pretend that I'm playing with fire,
Cause it reminds me what it felt like,
To be alive, to be free,
To be dangerous and adored,
I pretend that when I walk sparks fly,
From my heels and set my path ablaze,
I like to watch bemused stares,
And think to myself, for once,
I'm the (good) bad girl,
I want my hair to flick wildly around my face,
For my smile to stop conversations,
I want to set fire to all we know,
To all the misconceived conceptions,
The stereotypes and lies.
I want to set fire to our love,
And hope that we survive.
An Alice girl's LamentI go about my day and there he sits,An Alice girl's Lament6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
waiting patiently for me.
I go to the café for a midday snack,
and there he is, sipping tea.
I try to live my life and there I find him,
he is stalking me!
That crazy Hatter,
what is the matter?
Why cant he let me be?
It isnt easy for an Alice girl,
with a man as mad as he,
insisting you are meant to be,
or at least asking you round for a cup of tea.
Persistence is his middle name,
no matter what his initials spell.
He cannot be hindered cept by his own addled mind,
or occasionally a shiny coin he may find.
What other things must an Alice girl endure?
What other horrors wait for her?
From a mercury-minded hatmaker,
with the manners of a mongrel cur.
in fairness one must admit,
he can be kind and sweet,
and almost (sort of) graceful,
when not tripping over his own two feet.
What is this?
What ever could an Alice girl be thinking?
to ask I supp
50 Reasons to Love Yourself01. You are strong.50 Reasons to Love Yourself3 years ago in Letters More Like This
02. You are good enough.
03. You are smart.
04. You are kind.
05. You are brave.
06. You are caring.
07. You are aware.
08. You are important.
09. You are interesting.
10. You are rational.
11. You have talents.
12. You have integrity.
13. You have accomplishments to take pride in.
14. You have potential that you're not even aware of.
15. You are a part of this earth.
16. You have inalienable rights.
17. You have a right to be here.
18. You have purpose (even if you don't know what it is).
19. You are a human being with value.
20. You are capable of love.
21. And you are loved.
22. You deserve to be loved.
23. There are people who would miss you if you went away.
24. You respect others.
25. You have self-respect.
26. You have the power to effect positive change.
27. You are creative.
28. You can create something good.
29. Your life is a gift.
30. You have free will.
31. You've been through adversity and you're a better person because of it.
32. You have made mistake
Can't You Hear Me?Hello,Can't You Hear Me?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Don't you hear me?
Don't you hear my cries?
Out to you.
You don't answer.
You don't answer.
You don't answer.
And all I get is an E
I need help.
I need you.
Don't you hear me?
Don't you understand?
Can't you give me a hand?