The Problems With Stories Written by TeenagersDon't be offended at the title. "Teenagers" is just my way of saying "people who write unprofessional/shallow stories." Not all teenagers write shallow stories, it just sounds catchier.... Anyway.The Problems With Stories Written by Teenagers2 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
The first thing I want to make clear is: I'm not talking about anything mechanical in this deviation. Grammar/spelling is important (obviously), but that point has been beaten to death by people on the internet already. My purpose, as always, is to talk about the stories themselves, regardless of the way they are communicated. Whether it be through written word or on-the-spot narration, I believe there are certain tricks to telling good stories. Not rules, mind you. Tricks.
I don't believe that telling good stories is about what you "should" do, rather than what you shouldn't. Example: people generally hate Mary Sues, right? Well, sometimes I notice things that are "like" Mary Sues, in the sense that they're equally as shallow/unprofessional ways of telling stories. The purpose of this deviat
The Fall of Ariamis …Priscilla.The Fall of Ariamis3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I will keep you safe.
I will keep you company.
Do you remember all those years ago – when we first met? I remember it perfectly. I was so very close. So very, very close to my last shred of sanity snipping. And then I saw a peculiar little girl in white dress – you. Your left hand was occupied by a tattered doll. Your right was wet from wiping your tears. Your eyes began to water again, but I caught it for you that time. I still had a shred of humanity left, gnawing at my heart's strings to care for you, to pity, and to comfort. You were scared by my face, but I mustered a smile, and told you not to fear. You told me that you were lonely, that you were unloved.
And from that point on, I never left your side.
Do you remember all those years ago – when I saved your life? I remember it perfectly. The cursed fellow had threatened you, and I had intervened. You were bigger, but still, I needed to protect you. He chased you up the tower,
The Empty ChildThe Empty ChildThe Empty Child3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I hear everything too loudly
I am falling apart
I grew up too fast
I am still a child
I cannot stand still
I see every detail
I cannot remember what I'm doing
I talk about dinosaurs and doctors and darkrooms
I cry for no reason
I do not have the ability to cry now
I see the world differently
I wish you saw it like me
I have a puzzle to put together
I wonder if you'll help me
I hear a song and must sing it
I see a picture and must take it
I see a world, a broken world
I want to fix that, too
I want to play
I need to work
I close my eyes and fall asleep
I remember everything
I forget my head
I stand in blue light
I see the world in shades of blue
I am lost
I have been waiting for you
I am the empty child
Are you my mommy?
The Things You Can't SeeYou smile,The Things You Can't See1 month ago in Free Verse More Like This
And nobody else does.
And you're alone.
You always look so happy-
But I guess the most broken do, huh?
Nobody would guess
That you tell yourself every night
How great it'd be
Because nobody would care, right?
Before you let those thoughts
Cloud your mind-
And it's contagious
But you can't see that through the screen.
And so do millions
But you closed your eyes and missed it.
But you can't hear them beating.
I promise you,
You just can't see that.
Emo 101His girlfriend just dumped himEmo 1018 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
some freshmen just jumped him
his lifes got him stumped and hes so depressed
so now he wears makeup
to hide all his screwups
he says life is pain were not impressed
same pain, different poem .
Were all being whiners
lets put on eyeliner
your lifes on a timer in Emo 101
her converse, his girl pants
My Chemical Romance
so many depressed bands in Emo 101
hes feeling poetic
but all those cosmetics cant help him write
hes drinking and cutting
with boys now hes smutting
the world doesnt get him so he cries all night
same pain, different poem
Were all being whiners
lets put on eyeliner
your lifes on a timer in Emo 101
her converse, his girl pants
My Chemical Romance
so many depressed bands in Emo 101
dont forget to scream out on the very last note .
later that school year hes not glad to be here
hes pouting cau
Death Battle: Luffy vs. PopeyeDeath Battle: Luffy vs. Popeye2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Ray: Alright, the combatants are set. Let’s settle this debate once and for all.
Steel: It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!
All was calm as a massive galleon cruised across the ocean's surface, its lion-head bowsprit and straw-hat wearing Jolly Roger noticeable anywhere. From its deck, one could hear merry music from a fiddle, and the members of the crew either singing or dancing along to it.
Joining them in the festivities was the captain of this ship known to all as "Thousand Sunny". That captain was none other than the famed Straw-Hat Luffy.
The song came to an end and the skeletal fiddler took a bow, his art complete. If he had a proper face, he would have smiled at the cheers.
“WOW!” Luffy said with a broad smile, “Play it again!”
Yet as the crew celebrated, a simple-looking steamboat was coming across their path up ahead. At first, the crew paid no mind to it. That all changed because, just when the skeleton
Ethe emptiness echoesE4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
with each escape
this eluding energy
almost enough to end it all
do we try to educate?
or enable ethics?
have we encountered evil?
the easy elegance
the epic eclipse evermore
I envy the equality
the endless enigma
longing to be enamored
Anti-Suicide LetterI'm going to keep on living because despite the chaos in the world, there is love and hope in the world. There is love and hope in myself. I've discovered my gifts, my special talents and I will use them to change the world for the better. My family has instilled in me lessons that are highly valuable and should not be wasted in Death. I could be living in the very dark times of the past but I'm here. I could be homeless and robbed of my senses but I'm not. I could have a careless family but I don't. The Divine has given me the gift of life and choice and I will respect, honor, and cherish those gifts.Anti-Suicide Letter8 months ago in Emotional More Like This
The Problem with Self InsertsThe Problem with Self InsertsThe Problem with Self Inserts2 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
There is nothing wrong with inserting yourself into a story. Like anything, it can be well done or... not so well done. The fact is, the majority of people who tend to write about self inserts happen to be beginners. Naturally, that causes there to be a pattern of certain, specific mistakes that are frequently found whilst reading anything on the internet. The purpose of this deviation isn't to say that self inserts are bad. I'm simply going to point out the most common mistakes that we usually encounter.
1. Making ourselves better than we really are.
Don't be fooled by the word "better." This can be replaced with mysterious, deep, dark, tragic, romantic, lovable... anything we want. Maybe a mix of a few of those things. The point is, the version of ourselves will be biased.
2. Not making anything bad happen to yourself
Let's talk about the word "bad." Does this mean something, perhaps, like... getting a disease? No. It means anything that interferes with
Principalities and Powers IINames MeaningPrincipalities and Powers II4 years ago in Settings More Like This
Beelzebub Lord of the Flies 2 Kings 1:2, Matthew 12:24
Belial Worthless &
ComposedComposed2 years ago in Sci-Fi More Like This
Auri jerks out of bed for a moment and glances around the her dark bedroom, waiting for her eyes to adjust. She sits up in bed and yawns before she reaches for the light switch on her lamp nearby when she hears a sudden creak of metal outside. The Four freezes for a moment and listens hard.
She hears the creak again only this time it is fainter, sounding off farther down.
Is someone trying to get in? the commander thinks to herself as she gets out of from under the warm covers. Once her bare feet hit the cold metal flooring, she's grateful she had slept in warm clothes. The winters at this base were brutal, the captain had told her and he was right. The Four reaches into her nightstand nearby and picks up her pistol before she pads quietly across the room to her door. She eases it open and glances out. Blue eyes squint into the darkness before she opens the door.
Silence greets the Spartan as she steps out into the dark hallway. She looks left and right before walking forw
Mercenary 1-1MERCENARYMercenary 1-13 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Chapter 1: Blood is Beauty
Release One: Pages 1 - 3
THE COLD AIR in Baron Rorke's study did little to calm his nerves. He was expecting visitors this night and they were not the best of company. A shiver of dread ran down his spine and he spent most of the twilight hours staring out of a large window which stood behind his writing desk. It was amazing, he felt, how quickly a man could become attached to a life of luxury; only to be made painfully aware of how easy it was to lose it. War was always a frightening thing, even more so when one had the knowledge and sense to realise that it was no longer an exercise of glory, but a simple festival of bloodshed and cold murder. In war it did not matter if you impaled a stranger on the edge of your sword, such a thing would be punishable in any city or country, but in times of war it became an accepted norm. If the man in front of you wore a different colour, then it was alright to kill him, it was alright to rip him apart fo
Subjected in the shadow's: Chapter 1The feminine figure laid on her bed, examining the white walls of her quarters,seeing all the pictures that crest had drew for her.On these pictures where figures,two with black banged hair, one with white hair with silver streaks,and one with a red goatee,short hair,and a sinister hell-hound smile,like that of a hungry wolf stalking its prey,getting ready for the kill.Subjected in the shadow's: Chapter 13 years ago in Settings More Like This
She turned on her back and looked at the white ceiling,sighing.She began to close her eyes as everything around her went silent and dark.
She awoke in a forest that seemed endless.The trees where all dead,gray,lowering down sometimes.She picked herself up and began to walk trying to find anyone in this dead forest.Suddenly a figure was seen,a small girl.She came close to her and reached out for her.
It was no female,it was a silhouette of a young girl.She wore a white dress,and held a stuffed bear.She began running.
The female however looked at her hand,and saw a JERICHO MK IV claw.She saw it, she was in the Shinagami a
Miyamoto Musashi's Poetrywe reconstruct the manMiyamoto Musashi's Poetry10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
from shards of paper and pottery
(a shrike in ink
a small wooden bodhisattva
a practical treatise on swordplay)
he said his only teacher was Nature
which is a fine thing to say
when you're good at everything
they say he slew Ganryū
with a length of oar
he'd whittled on impulse into a sword
so much for the soul of the samurai:
not metal, flashing and hard
priceless and irreplaceable
only a discarded wooden spar
emerging from refuse
to refuse returning
and perhaps his poems were the same
nourished by earth and water
whispering an answer to wind
burbling off towards the long sea
and this is how history left him
and this is how I might find him:
an old man on a mountain
preparing future warriors for poetry
writing his way back
into the world that wrote him
when he emerges from his grotto to converse with the single scarred wholeness of the moon, I steal towards his poems and brush the pages across my hands, like reaching for a damselfly at rest, to see how his b
AspirationsWe hang our aspirations among the hydrangeas;Aspirations8 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
we plant our longings with luminescent bulbs
of peacock blue and praying mantis green -
tinges of an environment, a planet flourishing.
And we urge our insights to prosper the same.
Swallow the soil and sip up the rain.
ODST Brotherhood prolugeWell...its been a year since reach....since i lost many friends and family,since i lost the love of my live,and...since i nearly lost my entire squad.But,i made a soul promise,i'd protect them with my life. I've had to many losses,but that ends this day.Heh listen to me rant i forgot to introduce myself, my name is Jack Christopher noeland.I'm and ODST (orbital drop sock trooper)i was a army soldier on reach....but thats past me now,i cant tell you the horrible memories i saw on that planet.Well anyways let me give you the rundown.Im a commander,and im with a unsc division thats always been known as the best of the best 1st disivion wolf pack.In second in command,and my right hand man,is my childhood friend,Dibs dubbo.He's austrailian,mean,and ready to kill the covenant,just the soldier i need for the second in command.He carries a pretty mean shotgun,its from when we where on reach,the special thing about it,is that it as tree barrels on it.He regrets what happened to us onODST Brotherhood proluge4 years ago in Settings More Like This
094- When trying to find a companion Star.Don't stand too close to the stars that shine the brightest.094- When trying to find a companion Star.6 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Some day they'll burn out and become a supernova, then an ever-hungry black hole.
And you don't want to be anywhere near them when that happens.
Go for the dwarfs.
They may be small, but a heart of fire beats in all their cores.
Those are the stars that will shine the longest.
Fortitude And Faith“Nileas!” Ausrius bellowed again. He could find no trace of his fellow, even with his enhanced senses, and helmet overlay. No trace of the daemon either.Fortitude And Faith3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
He surveyed the cavern again, slowly re-examining all the corners. He checked the load in his bolter, and advanced, weapon at the ready, continuing to scan in visible light, infrared, and wireframe overlay. The ripples and folds of the tunnel played tricks on the mind, casting odd shadows and concealing entire caverns behind seemingly solid formations of stone.
“Nileas,” he voxed again. “Brother, do you copy?” Likewise the dense rock played havoc with the vox net. He had no contact with his squad commander, or Imperial forces on the surface, and, up until a quarter-hour ago, only intermittent contact with his battle brother, and that plagued by static. Now it seemed that too was gone.
My Journey to FaithMy own journey to faith has been a long complex one.My Journey to Faith5 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Like most African Americans of the 30's, my parents were raised in the church, but neither
of them were really Christians. Furthermore my dad had a bitter experience in church when he
was young that forever soured him to religion and he had absolutely no interest in it.
Mom believed in God and enjoyed watching Robert Schuller's on TV, but her belief in God was mixed
with a hodgepodge of other things, including reincarnation. She was also a firm believer in 'to each his own.'
She thought that all paths led to God and that as long as one led a good life that was enough.
Despite this, God had His hand on me, because from the time I was little I instinctively sought Him.
Very early on I had a deep curiosity and hunger for spiritual things. I loved Bible stories and was
very curious about God. On the few occasions my mom or some other relative took me to visit a church
or Sunday school, I always felt a strange yearning. I wanted something
Thunderous Silence"Almost there! Hang on!" Sam called out as the motorbike banked off the straight and narrow highway onto a winding side street. Quorra grinned as her arms wound ever tighter around the User boy, his warmth comfortingly pressing against her smaller frame. She mentally corrected herself. Sam wasn't a User boy to her; he was just a boy. She was a User herself, as strange as the concept still sounded. Trees whizzed by in moments. The silver orb that Sam had called the moon was framed against a network of glistening dots called stars above the spiny tips of towering evergreens. Quorra smiled to herself. Her first night in the User world had been very much like this, although it had also been more fresh and new due to the plethora of discoveries that had awaited her.Thunderous Silence4 years ago in Romance More Like This
Sam had taken her to a suburban park, where she could see the stars come out after the rosy light of the sunset had faded away. When he had asked her for her opinion on the night sky, the ISO had replied that it was very beautif
Putting Up my WallsPutting Up My WallsPutting Up my Walls3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I used to have my walls down for everyone to come in
Anyone who seemed to care, anyone who "loved" me
But then I was used, thrown on the ground and stepped on
Till I was bruised, bleeding, weak and completely paralyzed
And from that day forward, I began to build up very tall walls
around my scarred up heart filled with shards of broken glass
So tall that if anyone were to even attempt and climb over them
That they'd become tired, and their hands full of oozing blisters.
No, I never had the desire to let one person in again to abuse me
The walls that have stood for years have caused my heart to chill
Because I didn't want to allow any ray of sunshine to come upon it
In fear that it would eventually become a horrible haunting darkness
That would cause me to recoil further into deep depressing despair
I'd rather be alone within these tall walls, then to be hurt again
For I believe even if I do find that one who manages to climb over
There will still be
Requiem: Death LettersRequiem: Death Letters4 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Leeds is the first awake. Shadows of his dreams still echo in his eyes when he paces into the kitchen and startles her.
"You're too quiet." She smiles.
He doesn't. "Did you sleep?"
"I couldn't," she says.
He just nods. She pours him coffee. He drowns it in milk and sugar. They welcome the morning in companionable silence.
"I wanted to be there for him." It's a whisper. He stares at the coffee mug in his hands, seeing something very different. "I saw him get hit. I wanted to be there so bad. I would have gone in, but Vance held me back. Probably saved my life.
"Zack." He stops, almost overwhelmed, then forces himself to go on. "I would do anything for him. I would die for him. But I couldn't be there." His eyes are rimmed with tears.
She lays her hand over his.
Leeds wipes his face.
hyacinth.hyacinth.hyacinth.2 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
in sparta they praised you,
on olympus they spoke of you,
you whose charming ways rivaled
that of aphrodite herself.
you who captivated the wind and the sun,
who was promised otherworldly treasures
if only you were to grace them with your
lips upon theirs in a dance as old as the gods
bellicose were they,
the sun and the wind,
both spurning the thought of the other having you.
but a mere mortal.
a mere mortal who could not hope to survive
the jealousy of the wind when you chose the sun,
and the harsh blow of the discus as it struck your fragile skull.
a mere mortal who could not answer
the cries of your name from your beloved sun,
the sun who could not bear for you to delve into hades
and be forever lost to the warmth of his embrace.
and from the crimson stain you left upon the ground
you bloomed into a flower whose petals splashed
mother gaia with colors that iris envied,
the cry of your name forever echoed against the moist
soil from which you grew up