The Problems With Stories Written by TeenagersDon't be offended at the title. "Teenagers" is just my way of saying "people who write unprofessional/shallow stories." Not all teenagers write shallow stories, it just sounds catchier.... Anyway.The Problems With Stories Written by Teenagers2 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
The first thing I want to make clear is: I'm not talking about anything mechanical in this deviation. Grammar/spelling is important (obviously), but that point has been beaten to death by people on the internet already. My purpose, as always, is to talk about the stories themselves, regardless of the way they are communicated. Whether it be through written word or on-the-spot narration, I believe there are certain tricks to telling good stories. Not rules, mind you. Tricks.
I don't believe that telling good stories is about what you "should" do, rather than what you shouldn't. Example: people generally hate Mary Sues, right? Well, sometimes I notice things that are "like" Mary Sues, in the sense that they're equally as shallow/unprofessional ways of telling stories. The purpose of this deviat
The Fall of Ariamis …Priscilla.The Fall of Ariamis2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I will keep you safe.
I will keep you company.
Do you remember all those years ago – when we first met? I remember it perfectly. I was so very close. So very, very close to my last shred of sanity snipping. And then I saw a peculiar little girl in white dress – you. Your left hand was occupied by a tattered doll. Your right was wet from wiping your tears. Your eyes began to water again, but I caught it for you that time. I still had a shred of humanity left, gnawing at my heart's strings to care for you, to pity, and to comfort. You were scared by my face, but I mustered a smile, and told you not to fear. You told me that you were lonely, that you were unloved.
And from that point on, I never left your side.
Do you remember all those years ago – when I saved your life? I remember it perfectly. The cursed fellow had threatened you, and I had intervened. You were bigger, but still, I needed to protect you. He chased you up the tower,
Mercenary 1-1MERCENARYMercenary 1-12 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Chapter 1: Blood is Beauty
Release One: Pages 1 - 3
THE COLD AIR in Baron Rorke's study did little to calm his nerves. He was expecting visitors this night and they were not the best of company. A shiver of dread ran down his spine and he spent most of the twilight hours staring out of a large window which stood behind his writing desk. It was amazing, he felt, how quickly a man could become attached to a life of luxury; only to be made painfully aware of how easy it was to lose it. War was always a frightening thing, even more so when one had the knowledge and sense to realise that it was no longer an exercise of glory, but a simple festival of bloodshed and cold murder. In war it did not matter if you impaled a stranger on the edge of your sword, such a thing would be punishable in any city or country, but in times of war it became an accepted norm. If the man in front of you wore a different colour, then it was alright to kill him, it was alright to rip him apart fo
Requiem: Death LettersRequiem: Death Letters4 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Leeds is the first awake. Shadows of his dreams still echo in his eyes when he paces into the kitchen and startles her.
"You're too quiet." She smiles.
He doesn't. "Did you sleep?"
"I couldn't," she says.
He just nods. She pours him coffee. He drowns it in milk and sugar. They welcome the morning in companionable silence.
"I wanted to be there for him." It's a whisper. He stares at the coffee mug in his hands, seeing something very different. "I saw him get hit. I wanted to be there so bad. I would have gone in, but Vance held me back. Probably saved my life.
"Zack." He stops, almost overwhelmed, then forces himself to go on. "I would do anything for him. I would die for him. But I couldn't be there." His eyes are rimmed with tears.
She lays her hand over his.
Leeds wipes his face.
Fortitude And Faith“Nileas!” Ausrius bellowed again. He could find no trace of his fellow, even with his enhanced senses, and helmet overlay. No trace of the daemon either.Fortitude And Faith3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
He surveyed the cavern again, slowly re-examining all the corners. He checked the load in his bolter, and advanced, weapon at the ready, continuing to scan in visible light, infrared, and wireframe overlay. The ripples and folds of the tunnel played tricks on the mind, casting odd shadows and concealing entire caverns behind seemingly solid formations of stone.
“Nileas,” he voxed again. “Brother, do you copy?” Likewise the dense rock played havoc with the vox net. He had no contact with his squad commander, or Imperial forces on the surface, and, up until a quarter-hour ago, only intermittent contact with his battle brother, and that plagued by static. Now it seemed that too was gone.
PreservationPreservationPreservation3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Pairing: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Warnings: Some angst
'If my father could only see the army ' John Laurens paused to observe the assorted groups of soldiers hovering around each other for warmth as the cold breezed through Valley Forge, leaving men shivering in their tattered uniforms and inadequate blankets. 'If Congress could see the army, see the disease and famine, the provision wagons would arrive quicker than we could request them.'
Beside him, Alexander Hamilton observed, 'As long as Congress must beg from the states, it makes no difference whether provisions are detained for two days or two weeks, for they would rather we starve than relinquish authority to Congress.'
Laurens looked at his friend. 'How grave, even for you. I miss your agreeable nonsense.'
'You dream of glory as much as I, my dear Laurens," said Hamilton. 'There is none to be found here.' Adjusting his coat closer, he looked at the pathetic sight around them as they walked to General Wa
Death Battle: Luffy vs. PopeyeDeath Battle: Luffy vs. Popeye1 year ago in Short Stories More Like This
Ray: Alright, the combatants are set. Let’s settle this debate once and for all.
Steel: It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!
All was calm as a massive galleon cruised across the ocean's surface, its lion-head bowsprit and straw-hat wearing Jolly Roger noticeable anywhere. From its deck, one could hear merry music from a fiddle, and the members of the crew either singing or dancing along to it.
Joining them in the festivities was the captain of this ship known to all as "Thousand Sunny". That captain was none other than the famed Straw-Hat Luffy.
The song came to an end and the skeletal fiddler took a bow, his art complete. If he had a proper face, he would have smiled at the cheers.
“WOW!” Luffy said with a broad smile, “Play it again!”
Yet as the crew celebrated, a simple-looking steamboat was coming across their path up ahead. At first, the crew paid no mind to it. That all changed because, just when the skeleton
Journal of a Demi-god: Mask of Twilight TGJournal of a Demi-god: Mask of Twilight TG2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Journal of a Demi-god: Mask of Twilight
A Costume TG Transformation Story by JanusDaGuardian
Pollux, also known to some locals as “the man-in-black”, “black-robed angel”, “creepy mugger”, etc... looked out the window of the small principals office of the rowdy Manhattan high school, counting the number of ticks coming from the nearby clock. Several months had passed since he'd begun to rectify the disturbances in the realms he was entrusted to protect. The snow was gone, and the frequency of rain in the small corner of the world he now stood in was beginning to lessen. Summer was right around the corner, the sun teasing his bare hands as he gazed onto the streets of the aging metropolis that was New York City.
The door to the office clicked open. Pollux knew who it was, so he didn't turn around.
“You're late, Mr. Washington. Have a seat.”
Jayden Alan Washington was a black teenager of about seventeen late-winters.
Biblical Prophets BEFORE THE FLOODBiblical Prophets7 years ago in Historical More Like This
Noah Rest, Consolation
The Problem with Self Inserts The Problem with Self InsertsThe Problem with Self Inserts 2 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
There is nothing wrong with inserting yourself into a story. Like anything, it can be well done or... not so well done. The fact is, the majority of people who tend to write about self inserts happen to be beginners. Naturally, that causes there to be a pattern of certain, specific mistakes that are frequently found whilst reading anything on the internet. The purpose of this deviation isn't to say that self inserts are bad. I'm simply going to point out the most common mistakes that we usually encounter.
1. Making ourselves better than we really are.
Don't be fooled by the word "better." This can be replaced with mysterious, deep, dark, tragic, romantic, lovable... anything we want. Maybe a mix of a few of those things. The point is, the version of ourselves will be biased.
2. Not making anything bad happen to yourself
Let's talk about the word "bad." Does this mean something, perhaps, like... getting a disease? No. It means anything that interferes with
Journal of a Demi-god: Mask of Love and JusticeJournal of a Demi-god: Mask of Love and Justice2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Journal of a Demi-god: Mask of Love and Justice
A Sailor Moon Mask TG transformation story by JanusDaGuardian
A Victorian-era style building that forced its students into the same boring routine of classes with self-righteous teachers, two-faced friends, random pricks, and the worst possible food to eat, ruled by unions who's only care was to guilt well-meaning parents into voting for budget increases every year. That was what high-school was for James O'Connell.
As a student who'd failed his junior year, James had seen it all. Friends and fellow classmates trading their middle school identities for masks that hid themselves from the preying outside world, many doing so just to look acceptable in the jungle of arraying social statuses. In this building though, it was almost justified. It was a means to literally keep themselves alive, just like the mask James was wearing now.
James wasn't a stylish dresser, his usual clothes consisting of black pants and a red beater with matching red
Encyclopedia NoobtanicaNoob as defined in the Spooksters Dictionary: Noun; "a rude/crude/rascist/stupid/and probably illiterate asshole/bitch/bastard/SOB/cunt/fucktard/dumbassed piece of shit."Encyclopedia Noobtanica8 years ago in Humor More Like This
Following are eighteen different varieties of noobs.
1. THE BAD GRAMMAR NOOB
Probable age: Any.
Probable sex: Either.
Fucktardedness: Low to high.
Info: Easily the most common type of noob, these people appear unnable or unwilling to submit to the rule of grammar, spelling, or punctuation. You may spend several moments trying to decipher whatever the hell it is that the person actually said. An example: "im in ur bas kilin ur dudz."
2. THE SQUEEKER
Genre: Any genre with voice support.
Probable age: 8-13
Probable sex: Male.
Info: Imagine the most high-pitched child you can. Now imagine that child shrieking vulgarities and vague threats and insults at you over the headset. Where the fuck are this kids parents?
3. "IT'S THE LAG, I SWEAR!" NOOB
Zombie Country. Chapter 2.Zombie Country. Chapter 2.2 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"Should we all go?" Splash asked.
"No, that'd be too dangerous." Vex sighed, he looked at Arya and then her body, Arya gave him a look and Vex caught it.
"No, no, maybe you should go because you're smaller." Vex suggested and Splash scoffed.
"But she's a female!"
"That doesn't matter. She's smaller so she has less a chance of being seen and-," Vex started but Splash cut him off.
"I don't care if she's smaller! I'm smarter!" Splash hissed.
"If zombies go after her, she probably has a chance of slipping between small spaces and getting away. Or even hiding." Vex hissed and Splash folded his arms.
Arya opened the back of the truck, the streets were deserted and a few of the shops windows had been smashed open. Vex handed her a large bag, "Just incase you find anything. Just get things that you think we'd need."
She slipped out of the truck with her bow in hand and the bag strapped to her back. Vex and Splash watched her as she pushed open the stores door gently and slid inside.
Strong EnoughFrancis parked the car in the driveway of the house and nearly ripped the key out of the ignition. He grabbed his papers while unbuckling his seatbelt, and once he had opened the door, he slid out. With a huff, he slammed the door shut with his foot and stormed towards the house.Strong Enough3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
He felt insulted, although he had no idea why. He could not believe that man, a co-worker, insulted life like it was nothing. Francis respected the fact that people were free to make their own choicethat's what free will was for, right? But when someone treats another life like it was nothing, like it was only another drawing on a blueprint that should be scrapped, for no particular reason, that's when Francis put his foot down.
He knew what it was like, first hand, to lose something. And it broke his heart when people treated gifts like rubbish.
He opened the front door to the house and closed it loudly behind him while wiping his feet on the carpet. He could hear his children laughing at the dining tab
Under My Skin - Part 3by peachnewtUnder My Skin - Part 35 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
If soft vore or m/m is not your thing, leave now. These characters are my own creation. Do not steal or copy.
It was night, and the three men were dressed in a variation of forest gear; Reese in forest camo like a happy camper, Louis and William in a darker, tighter version of climbing gear. Except for the keypad at the entrance, the cave looked like any other mining shaft, dark, cold, and endless. The code at the entrance had a leeway time of two minutes before it activated the alarm to Kole's headquarters. Reese got it cracked in 34 seconds.
"When I'm good, I'm good," he whispered triumphantly.
"Great, now move it," said Louis, merging seamlessly with the pitch shadows.
"Good luck," said Reese to the younger agent. "I'll save you a donut."
With a salute to the red haired safecracker, William followed his partner into the cave, flicking on his flashlight as he went. There was nothing but rock walls. He caught up to Louis at a fork in the tunnel, sunglas
Daryl x Glenn - part 7" Mom ? .. Hey, Glenn, do you know where my mom went ? "Daryl x Glenn - part 73 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
" Yeah, she, uhh.. ", Glenn looked up from the cat he was petting. " In her tent with Daryl. "
" Thanks. ", I smiled and ran over to the tent.
The door flap was closed. I grabbed the zipper and tugged at it.
" Mom ? "
With a few good yanks I got the zipper to work. I pulled the door open and I seen my mom pulling her shirt down over her head, Daryl unconcious on the floor.
" What's going on ? "
" Nothing, sweetie, don't you have something else to do ? "
" Well.. ", I glanced at Daryl.
" Don't mind him. He was taking a nap and I was getting dressed. ", she smoothed my hair back and walked me out of there with her to try to hide what she was up to.
Come on, I'm twelve, I know what she was trying to do.
" Let's go see what your father's up to, okay ? "
I watched Lori and Carl walk out over to where Rick and Shane were talking about whatever. Where was Da
Under My Skin - Part 2by peachnewtUnder My Skin - Part 25 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
If soft vore or m/m is not your thing, leave now. These characters are my own creation. Do not steal or copy.
Louis stood on a lab table inside the inner lab room, his shades off, holding a medicine ball before him. And he was less than three inches tall. A BT sensor panel buzzed next to him, and he glared at it. If he had a gun he'd shoot it, right in the power cord.
Louis tapped the microphone attached to his earpiece, talking to Rachel who hovered over him like a giant from Gulliver's Travels. "Okay, so I can shrink things as long as I can hold them or touch them while I shrink."
Rachel nodded and glanced at the readings on the BT screen, marking things down on her clipboard. "According to the readings you can extend the electrical field of your body to anything you can physically touch. We'll have to try something organic next. Then we'
..:Guns and Glory 6:..Once back at Purgatory, Sylar sat, hands clasped together at a round table with her lieutenants, Pierce and Shaundi. She sighed frustrated, mad at herself for getting so caught up in the moment. She didn't think of asking Jessica anything when she had the chance..:Guns and Glory 6:..4 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"I think you're bein' too hard on yourself " Shaundi reassured.
"Yeah," Pierce agreed, "that car crushin' thing was pretty tight "
"Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of my work," Sylar said proudly, "it's just I got so wrapped up in sending Maero a message I never asked Jessica about the shipment."
"Bitch is dead," Pierce supposed, grabbing Shaundi's blunt, "who cares about the shipment?"
"I do," Sylar leaned forward, "it's something that Maero wants, and that means I'm gunna take it "
Shaundi stood, "alright, there's gotta be someone you can pump for information, what about Donnie?"
"He got manhandled twice, I'm pretty sure he's out of the loop, if he's not dead "
"Hey, what about their tat-"
Cartoon LawsCartoon Law ICartoon Laws7 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation.
Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second per second takes over.
Cartoon Law II
Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly.
Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in their momentum that only a telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden termination of motion the stooge's surcease.
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter.
Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directl
Me, You and ShoesI saw your shoes the other day. It was just a glimpse of them as you went through the door, but it was enough. Funny, there must have been fifty people around. It's been years and my subconscious can still pick you out of a crowd.Me, You and Shoes3 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
I wasn't sure it was you, though. That's why I'm eating lunch on this bench. I was checking to make sure it wasn't just my mind playing tricks on me, digging up old stuff I thought I buried behind everything I tried to make new in my life. I used to follow guys in orange coats down the hallway, praying they'd turn around and be you. I always felt foolish when they weren't, but it took me months to break the habit. I wanted to make sure I wasn't suffering a relapse.
Of course, it was you. God loves to pretend he's one of those strangers who have a nasty habit of returning things you tried your hardest to lose.
You didn't see me. But then, y
Ricepires PromMarius: Children, Ive had a great idea!Ricepires Prom5 years ago in Humor More Like This
Marius: Who here is over 2,000 years old, raise your hand please. Oh right, just me.
Armand: I thought that I was your only child *pouts*
Everyone else: *is temporarily dazzled by how pretty he looks when he pouts*
Merrick: Dont look now, but your insecurity is showing.
Armand: Shut up, witch.
Marius: Havent we had enough name-calling? Its like high school.
(Louis and Nikkis catfight, for those of you just joining us.)
Marius: Speaking of high school I just realized that all of you were deprived of a senior prom.
Apparently, Marius is out to help all the underprivileged vampires. If he opens some sort of Red Cross soup kitchen for vampires, Im nominating him for the Nobel Peace Prize. Love this guy.
Louis: Youre not serious? What about Merrick and Quinn?
Ricepires Comic Request 4 LEEEA Vampire Chronicles-themed request for LatiasChild:Ricepires Comic Request 4 LEEE5 years ago in Humor More Like This
[Lestat is wearing a red frock coat to his mid-thigh, a white shirt, and red culottes with white stockings, as well as red paste-buckle shoes. Louis is wearing brown full-length breeches and a white shirt with full sleeves, probably some ruffle detail down the front. Both are sitting at a table] -------- denotes change in panel
Lestat: Why so glum? I bet I could put a smile on that melancholy face. *winks*
Louis: I lost my wife and child.
Lestat: *inches closer* So youre single, then?
Lestat: *takes Louis hand*
Louis: *pulls hand away* *backs away from Lestat*
[end of flashback sequence. We see Louis (in a green version of Lestats outfit earlier) and Lestat (in a lavender outfit possibly) sitting by Claudia (who is in a yellow dress)]
Lestat: And thats how I met your father. See, Daddy was smooth! *grins*
Claudia: *blink, blink like WTF?
Ricepires: Special AbilitiesIn the Twilight series the so-called vampires *air-quotes* have special, additional abilities that are unique to themselves. Like, how at Coldstone you not only get ice cream (the vampirism) but you also get to choose your own mix-in. Except these mix-ins are powers and you cant choose them, they depend on your traits or skills pre-vampirizing (?). I just realized that that metaphor was pretty much useless. Anyways, *cough* I was thinking what if the vampires from Anne Rices Vampire Chronicles had unique special abilities, just cause Im crazy. But, because they already have REAL powers that do not include sparkling(are you reading this, Edward?), theirs would be more like heightened abilities. So here we go.Ricepires: Special Abilities6 years ago in Humor More Like This
Lestat: Accessorizing/ lovability
Louis: emoness/ability to tolerate Lestat for long periods of time
Armand: seduction; man, woman, or vampire it doesnt matter