Forgive MeI never meant for that space between my heartbeats
to belong to you.
I never meant to look too long into your eyes,
but I did,
and I got lost.
I never meant for my eyelashes to fall for you.
I never meant to feel your heartbeat in your breast
when you hugged me goodbye,
but I did,
and my heart beat in time with it.
I never meant to crowd my ceiling
with the whispered letters of your name.
I never meant for my nights to be as black as your hair,
nor my earth as brown as your eyes,
but they are,
and they'll always be that way.
I never meant for my brain to be all fogged up with you.
I never meant for us to become so close,
then pull away.
But we did,
and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
I never meant to fall in love with you,
but I did,
and now we'll never be the same.
Sand in my Hairwe were caught in a whirlwindSand in my Hair4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
in the summer of '69,
and the sand from our nightlife beaches
never really washed itself
from our hair.
i am finding grains on my bed in the mornings
after i dream of you,
sweeping them into mason jars
and trying to remember our days
as they saw them.
the air is uncomfortably still.
i pick absently at the scabs on my knees
and think about that summer,
the night sky that seemed to stretch until breaking,
the way the wind kicked sand at my face like a child.
we clutched hands to stay together-
our feet nearly plucked from the earth like
and the sand sprayed into our eyes and ears and noses
but we laughed all the same.
and later, we coughed up beaches on the hotel floor,
feeling the grit between our teeth
and washing it down with shots of anything we could find
in the liquor cabinet.
we slept on a sandy mattress without making love,
a concept foreign to the world outside.
we fell asleep in a tangle of innocent limbs
What I Would SayHey, hi, how are ya?What I Would Say4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Jeez, this is weird... I'm used to your icon,
and being able to think about what I'm going to say to you.
Ummm... Wow. So, how's Ruby?
I can see you have the eyes of a poet,
like a stormy sea, you know?
Of course I know what I'm talking about,
I'm a poet too, aren't I?
I'm a little weird, in case you haven't gotten it yet.
Does that put you off?
Wait, don't answer that.
Maybe I don't want to know.
Just kidding, of course. Maybe.
Do you know any French? I love it.
Sometimes I use it in everyday speech.
Si tu veux, I can teach you what I know...
But we'd need a lot more time for that.
Maybe someday at your cabin in the mountains.
We oughta collaborate sometime on a poem or somewhat.
I think that would be very cool.
What should the theme be, you think?
Ooh, remember when we did our firefly thing?
That was awesome.
Forgive my hopeless blathering,
I'm prone to it.
There's so much nothingness in my head
that I have to babble it all out
Painting the Sunsetsin our youthPainting the Sunsets3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the sky was but a sheet of paper,
and we were pens and pencils
that spelled out stories on the scraps of night.
and we colored the sun red with our laughter,
the sky blue with the sadness we kept inside,
and the feelings that we couldn't comprehend
we gathered on our brushes
and splattered across the dusky horizon.
and these we called the sunsets.
From My MirrorI look in the mirror.From My Mirror4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I see a smiling little girl who stands on tiptoes.
Her daddy combs her hair,
she's singing, but not loud enough to hear.
she doesn't want him to know that she's a princess.
She's crying now,
her daddy is so mean.
He makes her do math.
She doesn't get it,
he's mean, he's mean, he's mean!
She grins again,
daddy's taking her fishing.
Her mom brushes her hair,
smooths it under her little baseball cap.
She's lost two teeth.
Her brother called her jack-o-lantern,
and she pretended that it hurt her feelings.
She growls at herself,
she looks so funny.
She's looking at her body for the first time,
She pinches her stomach between two fingers and declares that she's
Daddy's not allowed in the bathroom anymore.
She's lost weight.
Most of the fat is gone,
but she's still crying because it's not enough.
Her mom lies, she's not beautiful.
Her dad never told her she was pretty.
The Song of the SeasonsThe whisper of the wood through the trees,The Song of the Seasons4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Massages the brown trunks,
Slinks over the leaves blown golden red,
And the fire of the summer sun fades to nothing,
In this dark and dreary wood.
She walks, the Queen of Autumn, barefoot,
Her feet stinging with the cold of her jealous icy sister,
Waiting for a moment to snatch the world from her grasp.
The leaves stick to her feet,
A gift from her own season.
She sees a tree with leaves of green,
She dances over to it and breathes her gentle spell into the wood.
The leaves shrivel and change,
Metamorphosing into sheets of gold that crunch underfoot,
And cling like dewdrops to her feet.
She is envied by a sister cold and pale.
Her feet fall on shards of ice, too soon,
Winter has come too soon.
The sister laughs, blood stains the ground,
Shimmering the color of her old wet leaves.
Her envier, laughing,
Doesn't help her when she falls.
As Autumn dies, Winter takes her place as Queen of the Earth,
Raping the countryside and turning the earth bitt
Before You Judge Metake a walk in my shoes,Before You Judge Me4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the ones that never fit and are always caked with
mud or dirt or cat shit,
the kind that pretty ladies tell you to take off
before you come into their white-carpet mansions.
take a walk in my shoes,
the ones that give you blisters
in places you never knew you had,
the kind that are never laced properly
and fall off when you run.
and while you're at it,
try on my clothes,
the shirts that never hang right
or the pants that always get made fun of because they're torn up,
the kind that are comfy but mother
won't let you wear.
try on my clothes,
the socks that make your feet sweat
and the gloves you have to wear when it gets cold,
and no, not those gloves because they have holes in them
even though they're your favorite and you don't mind.
and while you're at it,
try my brain on for size,
the dull fuzziness that never seems to go away
or the hyper-activity that comes with your sugar highs
(that people say are annoying),
or even the jolt it gets when yo
Beautiful Monsterswe are tangled, unwashed hairBeautiful Monsters3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
that splays like tentacles on our bed,
long, dark hair and eyelashes like curtains,
long, beautiful hair and two eyes on two bodies
that only watch in
shady bars, because our friends
can't see us like this.
we are hand-holding under tables,
stumbling through alleyways
into apartments, with doors flung open and shut
when our clothes come off and souls entwine.
and when our screams subside, we are
two bodies, one soul.
we are liars when we sit alone on park benches
and watch sunsets from separate ends.
they ask us "do you know each other?" and we
catch each other's eyes and whisper
and if we are strangers, we should not be
kissing under bridges in the dark,
letting the waves crash over our feet
and forgetting who we are.
Breatheour first breaths together wereBreathe4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
like the movement of that caterpillar
you put on my sleeve
when it reared up and questioned
the placement of its feet.
we found our footing in
broken flower pots and
little red wagons.
the summer air became a blanket
that kept us warm through winter
and the early days of spring.
i found myself
staring absent-mindedly at the sun.
our laughter began to
permeate every conversation,
then the weather became funny,
and so did our lives,
and we ended up throwing them out
with the garbage
and laughing at the man who took them away.
we had everything and nothing
all at once.
and then our eyes grew heavy with
and our nights began to
and our storylines began
to share a common theme.
and the paint peeled off of our little red wagons,
and our flowerpots cut our feet
when we tried to run away.
and our last breaths together
were sharp and biting,
like the slice of our ice skates
on the thin layer of our dreams.
How We Used to LoveWe used to love without question,How We Used to Love4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
hands pattering over yielding bodies
like gentle raindrops,
(glances like secret messages
revealed by soft touches in the dark)
We use to love without wanting,
just needing each other's warmth
and cuddling close to get it.
(fingers twining around fingers,
our own fleshy lifelines flushed pink
from the racing of our hearts)
We used to love without hurting;
with lips and tongues and soft fingertips
that left tingly pathways on our skin.
(still feeling each other's hands the morning after,
touching places they touched,
searching for their scent in our nostrils)
And we used to love, just love,
with our hands and our hearts and our glances.
(when the world was a little less cruel
and we were a little less sad,
and no one cared how we saw the world,
just that we saw it at all)
She's Brokeni.She's Broken3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
she is an ink-stained poet of seventeen,
whose bruises take the shape of africa
or thailand or italy,
and the ones that don't look like anything
she presses on until the blood pools up
and blackens the map of her skin.
she wanders from
one filament of conscious thought
to the other,
sailing through time and space
as though it were a vast ocean
just for her.
sometimes she sits before the sea.
"who am i?"
she screams to the waves
that drag her under
and fill her mouth
small, wet sand.
she finds beauty in
wine glasses and
roman numerals were never her friends.
she preferred to count on
snails and shipwrecks
and the lonely blue flowers
that speckled the grey of her eyes.
four letters she never wanted to believe in
but always did.
she doesn't know if she'll end up
marrying a boy
or a girl
or just loving everybody
because everybody deserves
to be loved.
maybe she'll just die
because gods are immortal
and she doesn't
Food ChemistryWe made love with sugar and spiceFood Chemistry4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
on your eighth-floor balcony.
You said to me,
over coffee and tea,
that you were complete
in my company.
at least that's what I thought I heard.
the ringing in my ears made
mumbles of your words.
But you liked to cook,
and so did I.
We made love
like apple pie.
I cut myself once
with your knife.
My blood spelled a warning on the countertop,
but you ignored it
and I let it drop.
Your favorite dish was
one I couldn't make.
I could make love.
I couldn't make you love me.
We fought over whether rhubarb pie
needed nutmeg or cinnamon.
I told you last week it needed both,
but I had to tell you again.
we made it with burdock.
I woke up
on the bottom floor in a stranger's bed.
The apartment came down
You could have had the guts to shoot me with a silver bullet.
Your lemon torte was a trifle tart.
You piled bricks on my chest
and made it hard to breathe.
You said I knew your
Firefliesi.Fireflies4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
she kissed fireflies
when they gathered by the porchlight after dark.
they never laughed when she told them i love you.
sometimes she even dared to call them her friends.
her parents told her that bugs couldn't love her.
they said "go to sleep,"
pushed her under the blankets
where she smothered.
she kisses fireflies
when they gather by the porch light after dark.
they never tell her that she's wrong.
sometimes she dares to call them her brothers.
the angels told her that bugs couldn't love her.
they said "go to sleep,"
pushed her under the clouds
where she drowned.
she will kiss fireflies
when they gather by the porch light after dark.
they will never tell her that she's evil.
sometimes she will dare to call them her soul.
god told her that bugs couldn't love her.
he said "go to sleep,"
pushed her under the earth
where she burned.
she would have kissed fireflies
when they gathered by the porch light after dark,
but the flame
From Daddy to Father i lost my daddy. i don't even remember losing him, actually. one day he was there, and the next day he was replaced by a man named "father." this "father" isn't like my daddy at all. he doesn't hug me like daddy used to. my daddy used to rub my back when he hugged me, but father pats my back awkwardly. daddy used to talk to me about philosophy. father shoves his ideas down my throat until i choke. my daddy would never do that. my daddy was a nice man, and if he ever caught anyone treating me like father does, he'd whoop their ass. i know he would. and he could, too, because he's the strongest man i know. my daddy could beat father up any day. i wonder where he is, and why he's letting father be mean to me. father is always mean to me. he was okay in the beginning, but now he only talks to me when i'm in trouble. never to say anything good, just when i'm in trouble. daddy used to talk to me about anything, but father only yells. daddy also used to reFrom Daddy to Father3 years ago in Emotional More Like This
Across the Marble Skywe danced as dust motes-Across the Marble Sky4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
with the golden summer sun
shining on our hair, our lips,
and then we were the freckled eggs
that nestled in the straw,
and we spoke with gentle thumps
to the apples that fell in the orchard,
and we punctuated those words with
two-legged chirps and
and then our teeth became little stars
and we kissed until they fell out
and skittered across the marble sky.
...and so i gave you thisyou asked me for a poem....and so i gave you this2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
sometimes i fall in love with words
and wish that words
would fall for me.
you want a poem? how about the darkness of the morning
when the sun still rubs the night from his eyes,
the dew on the grass and how your feet jump from the itch.
how about the laughter of a creek or the roar of the ocean,
there, that's a poem.
you want a poem?
ask me about watermelon kisses
or how a blackberry whispers love to the backs of my teeth.
ask me how my lips know every curve of my knees
and my spine knows the unyielding wall,
ask me about sunsets and the giants who paint them,
who gave the frog his croak, and why,
why the ravens never seem to cackle
on those dark and maddening nights.
how about the way the muse and i do things
that make her a saint and i a sinner?
how about the soft hiss of my breath when my mouth falls open,
the crust that sleeps in my eyes until i scrape it away.
this too is a poem.
you asked for a poem?
the way honey drips off a spoon,
The Birth of a Poemthe birth of a poem:The Birth of a Poem4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
a hundred-odd images are stacked up
with silky metaphors draped overtop;
and then some "theme words" are added,
stuff like "love" or "heartbreak"
and these go in the middle
and give it shape;
and then the first images need tweaked a bit,
so the subject's hair gets turned the more vivid color of
straw," " wheat,"
and then some verbs are used
to scrape away the edges of those stagnant nouns;
and then the nouns are spruced up by adjectives like
"stunning," "evanescent," or "mellifluous,"
and are shoved into cracks
to make everything look smoother;
and then the "backspace" key is used
to clean up the extra letters or words
and make the final poem look almost professional.
and then, if desired,
a few phrases that don't make sense
are thrown in
in the name of "art."
Seasons Fly, No Helping HandSeasons Fly, No Helping Hand4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
if i marry you in springtime,
i'll do it on the first warm day-
and you and i will walk barefoot through cherry blossoms
that float through the air like blown kisses,
and we'll wear white dresses with little pink bows
and laugh as the cool wind sends shivers up our spines.
if i marry you in summertime,
i'll do it when the sky is the color of the deepest ocean,
and you and i will hold hands and float down the river
in my daddy's canoe-
and we'll stop underneath the magnolia tree,
and lower the branches to our faces
so we can kiss the leaves.
if i marry you in autumn,
i'll do it when the gold drips softly from the wood,
and you and i will waltz through the forest
in silver ball gowns-
until the sun sets and the moon guides us home.
if i marry you in winter,
i'll do it when the world shines like diamonds,
and you and i will catch snowflakes on our tongues
and in our hair-
and we'll mak
Broken WingsI fall in love with broken wingsBroken Wings4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
as they fall.
I fall in love with broken hearts
in my arms.
I fall for those that I can help:
listen to their sighs.
I fall for those who hurt inside.
I fall for those who cannot fly,
the ones who are a little bruised,
bodies that are gently used.
I fall for broken wings that glitter in the light,
the ones who could embrace the dark
if they didn't fear the night.
...Sometimes I feel like a whirlpool,...4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
towards a goal I'll never reach.
Somedays I feel like a rock,
like in that Simon and Garfunkel song,
where I cannot be touched by any sadness
but am forever alone.
Sometimes I feel like an earthworm,
disgusting and squiggly,
crawling my way through this wretched shitheap
we call life.
Sometimes I feel like a cloud,
soft and tender, happy and free,
smiling on the earth like the teeth of an angel.
Sometimes I feel like a math problem,
pointless, stupid, complex,
like no one would care to figure me out
and I'd just be left as a cold heap of numbers.
sometimes I feel like a wisp of a dream,
like fog that rises off the lake,
Hugsyour fingers curl against me when we hug,Hugs4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
as if you're trying to hold on to what i am right now,
as if you never want this to end,
just the two of us and me not mad at you.
i can feel the fear there, under your skin,
the prayers, please god don't let this end,
don't let her get mad at me again.
i can feel your fingers clawing at my shirt,
holding onto me as I am in this moment,
not wanting to let me go to the next.
and part of me wishes that you'd never let me go,
that this hug wouldn't end,
that i'd be placid and serene for one more minute,
one more moment,
and that your heart would somehow heal
before you let me go again.
but all i'm left with when you let me go
is a wrinkled spot on my shirt
and a rising tide of fear and anger
that i can never keep at bay.
and you sense this and back away.
This Makes Me CrazyYou gave us starry nights to cuddle close to one another,This Makes Me Crazy4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
evenings spent in kayaks as the fog rose from the pond,
greyish mornings to fish alone before the world was awake.
You gave us afternoons to walk through flowered forests,
time enough to share our dreams,
to grow as close as a tree and its twisting vine.
I swore that I'd protect him.
You gave us time, all of it,
the rolling colors of the world stopped for us
and we swirled our hands into them,
flinging paint-slick fingers at each other
and coloring portraits of our hearts that dried in the summer sun.
But corruption is an art theif.
You stole his painting as we laid together in the dark.
The change was there, it oozed off his skin
like smoke from an ashtray.
And like a cigarette, I was repulsed by it.
I swore that I'd protect him.
The stars cried out their warnings,
but I stumbled through the woods in my bare feet
and searched until the sun rose above the clouds.
I kissed every tree in the hope that
She Was a Stormcloudshe was a stormcloud, and you loved her,She Was a Stormcloud3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and the two of you took walks and wore
nothing but promises,
broken chains and
strands of pinkish pearls.
and the two of you kissed under trees that attracted silver lightning
(metal branches scraped the sky, and you, always faithful,
tipped your coat over her head to keep her dry.)
but she never stayed that way.
in an instant, she had whirled into the rain
and danced without clothes,
and she left you
with the pain of frostbite on your naked skin
where you trusted her to kiss you warm,
and you thought you heard her laughter
when the sun came out again the next day,
and the next.
she was a stormcloud, and you loved her,
and you didn't know it at the time but
(and they never
flotsamwe crash seafoamflotsam3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
when my bones are driftwood,
i dive for pearls in your hair,
lose my breath and realize that
i don't need it;
your sighs suffice to fill my canvas lungs.
our bodies carve castles in the sand.
("you've practiced," you whisper.
"tongues in tidepools have taught you to love.")
the moon swells the waves.
your kneecaps remind me of
your fingertips are hermit crabs
that scuttle on my skin.
(we howl like seaside wolves, and then)
when morning comes i can't help but see the way you
sprawl like yawning waves in the early morning tide.
you are a shipwreck.
between sailor's-knotted sheets
we sweat the ocean,
you, a siren,
i, odysseus chained.
HappinessI butter my toast withHappiness4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
In my belly, they wriggle,
tickling my insides and making me giggle.
I brush my teeth with sunbeams
and play with rainbows for hours and hours.
I grin at my reflection in the mirror,
and think "wow, it's so happy in here!"