27 february 2011i can't look for you.27 february 20114 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i can't live for you,
i can't love for you,
i can't wait for you.
my body is your body.
it is what holds me
because you can't,
it is yours.
it moves when you
tell it to move,
a pull of a string.
it is your marionette.
i am not wasting away
in the wings,
hoping for something
i can't hope for.
(i can't hope for you.)
you are too significant,
a hundred times more
than i would allow,
a thousand times more
than is beautiful,
and that makes it
even more so.
What is wrong?Can't sleep, Can't eat.What is wrong?4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Words don't work
Pictures tell lies
I can't show you
I can't tell you
Am I sick?
Have I gone mad?
My interest is lost
My life is dull
The colour is gone
Nothing seems real
It all seems fake
The way you smile
The way you laugh
Dear Heart Dear Heart,Dear Heart4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
will you stop teaming up with Hope?
You two are hurting me.
And please, try to control Mind. I don't
need her creating another ridiculous fantasy
that will never come true.
im dizzy let's dance,The warf was singing tonight,im dizzy let's dance,3 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
with a voice of rusted metal shackles.
singing that the sea turns to ink at night
so the poets commit suicide.
we're oh so sea sick.
cutie, don't worry
because we're all made of starstuff
and narcissists will keep wishing on their cousin's corpses
lets chase epileptic electric lights instead.
they lock the flowers up at night
because they'd grow over the rubbish and grunge
they'd choke you out
and bloom in your heart
trespassers will be prosecuted.
p.s garden nymphs exist
don't ya know
the trains are haunted
and the tramps are restless
we leave our shadows and fingerprints everywhere.
lighthouses scream at sailors
"we're all going down,
you've got sirens and booze on your minds and they will wreck you eventually"
a man has a pocket full of jingling coins
they make high brassy music as he walks
he's throwing them one by one into a fountain
he's wishing for wings.
i don't know who im praying to
but i'm praying for you.
Open your eyesThe danger is, when you become too self absorbed,Open your eyes4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You forget about those quiet people who never make themselves heard.
You forget about the ones that plod along, day after day,
As you are busy with the things that are going around in your head.
Insignificant things in comparison.
Because they are always a constant,
Those quiet ones in the corner of your eye,
You don't feel the need to pay a close eye on them,
Because they are the dependable ones, the ones who never complain.
So when the news comes that something isn't right,
That actually, they haven't been coping as well as you thought,
Your head hangs in shame as you think of what you could have been doing for them.
Simple things, like spending an hour after school with them,
Going over to make dinner on a weekend,
Just sitting with them and talking.
Things that could have been done so easily.
The people closest to you always fall under your radar,
As you worry about those far away, as you worry about yourself.
The saddest thing is,
No.Don't thank me for patience,No.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Don't thank me for loalty,
Don't thank me for faith,
Don't thank me at all.
Neither for listening to bitter-sweet-voiced lies,
Nor for supporting your poor empty shell.
Don't dare to thank for grabbing the chance of sucking out lifeblood.
Don't even think about homage while taking others strengths. You needed it most?
Don't thank me for shit.
Senseless.I don't need anyone.Senseless.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
all I need is the lies I constantly feed myself,
they keep me full and intoxicated.
life only hurts while I'm breathing.
you're not too damaged to care,
you just don't care about me.
I'm so sad it makes me smile.
bliss is found in a sort of hopelessness
because I know I've got nothing.
death will come when I call it.
it isn't distance that seperates us,
I have no bones in my body.
they were all an illusion
but at least I'm a lot more flexible.
I think I'd rather be in hell.
you were my favorite disaster,
even if you're a bit predictable.
untitledIt only happened sometimes. I would put on a new shirt and suddenly feel wrong, feel the foreign quality of my own body parallel with the unknown fabric. Walking down the college hallway in the afternoon, shadowed except where golden light spilled across the floor from open doorways, I would see a girl, a stranger, and the sight would stir in my hidden heart; in my loneliness. A magazine would fall open, and I would feel no connection when I saw floral prints and long hair and earrings.untitled4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Sometimes I felt more like the leaves and sun in the background of photographs rather than a person. Or like the metal and glass walls of a skyscraper, or the chipped clay of brick roads. I felt these things very deeply. I thought they inspired me, but what I didn't understand was why I could not make anything out of them. They arrived as sparrows do, and left before I could catch them.
There were some things I could hold onto.
the sickness of breathing emptinesstoday:the sickness of breathing emptiness4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and my god, there's no way to pretty that up. pain is not beautiful, it is painful. use your common sense. there is no glory in suffering, there is no sparkle to sacrifice. hurt is hurt is hurt. and you can't take it for someone else, no matter how hard you try.
what i hate is that you're leaving. like, a thousand miles away worth of leaving. and don't tell me that distance means nothing to the heart, because it does: enough to make you break me before you kill me. honestly, i wonder which is worse. honestly, i'd probably rather you kill me because i've broken enough times that i don't have much left to break.
what i hate more is that i love you. i have fought harder against it than i've fought against anything else in my life, i fucking swear to god. i didn't even consider that i could love you for months. an
don't call me beautiful.don't call me beautiful.don't call me beautiful.4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
i know, i know, you think i am without a doubt in the world. you honestly believe that the twinkle of my eyes are like the glitter that lace the stars that shine at night. you hold me in your arms and stare at my body in awe, how the curve of my hips and the slope of my back fit perfectly in your arms. my lips and the way yours automatically tingle when you think of them, and the way my eyelashes curl when you're close enough to count each and every one.
but don't call me beautiful because i swear to you i'm not.
i'm a timebomb four seconds away from exploding and destroying and tainting. i'm a magnificent skyscraper burned to the ground, i'm the fallen.
i'm dark and twisted and you misread what you see in my eyes because what it is are the sins and the deception and the evil that grows in the marrow of my bones reflected in my irises for the world to beware and stand their ground.
i'm not constructed properly. in fact there's a couple pieces missing here and t
smothered.you look at people so differently when you learn of how their heart finally stopped beating.smothered.3 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
the picture in the hallway looks darker than it used to, even in the full afternoon sunlight.
and the family photo from last christmas makes something in your chest tighter. locks you
up almost like your insides are compartmentalised and you just locked something up have
no intention of ever opening it again.
i saw a picture of you after lunch today and i don't think i've ever looked at you how i did in
that moment. there was something in the furthest blackest part of your eyes that scared me.
frightened and shivered me right to the core and suddenly it clicked. it made some semblance of
sense, well, more than it ever had before at least. that look i'd seen as a 12yr old girl wasn't
nervousness or shyness it was a monster, it was the extreme of all the emotions, reaching the top
of their power and mixing,blending into something that is thick and black and inescapable.
i thought o
eric and wanda's relationshiphis heels are rubbed raw to a shining pink, an inch away from free bleeding. his name is eric and his shoes are too small. his name is eric and his arms are more like a bulletin board than limbs. his name is eric and the last time he had a roof to live under, he was fourteen and shooting up for the first time.eric and wanda's relationship4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
the boy looks rough.
his mother left when he was sixteen, fed up with the hell he brought into the house -- the singed toilet bowl; the shaved cat; the hypodermic needles.
eric says his father left when he was eight. by "left", eric means he found him staining the bath tub crimson with his wrists. it took two weeks and four bottles of bleach before anyone could shower without screaming as the red washed from hidden crevices of the basin.
the last time he had a decent meal was too long. when he bends down, the entire outline of his spine smiles at passersby, greeting them with eve
he is here.where i sleephe is here.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
there is the shoulder-scent
of your body deep
in teenage sorrow,
pillow lips hugging my temple,
feathers running through hair
there is a dusk under my eyelids
dampening my joints, a cold blue
and frozen air to the skin,
making it rise with little moons
over the halves of nails, with the slow fall
of the dawn outside bleeding red
into the own blues of the sky
and the cobalt rain a tap on the glass
of my window
a transparent whisper.
in winter we're tearing wings off sparrows.it isn't half as cold as it should be, but you stamp your feet against the pitiful chill any way. your blood is still running hot and it makes you stir crazy. everyone is 10 miles away, and the distance increases each step you take. further, and further, their faces are blurred like ink smudges. this is how you lose people. there are birds in the lonely park.in winter we're tearing wings off sparrows.3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
and a little less than suddenly, faces peer out from the emptiness. a man who looks like a drug addict, or a gypsy. a gypsy drug addict, you decide. and his two shy daughters. they look like faeries. one, looks pale as snow, with hair seemingly spun from cobwebs and glass. red lips and pink cheeks declare her alive. the other is tinier than even her sister, her skin is milky. her hair and large, bright eyes are the brown of stripped woodlands, her cheeks and small pouty lips the colour of autumn leaves when they turn red. she looks a wood nymph.
the odd family make their way out of your life again, startledly
today i became another girl.there are volcano's inside me, and i suppose they've always been theretoday i became another girl.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
laying dormant, and waiting for the right magnitude to shake my body
and let it errupt and leave me completely burned out inside.
hollow, but full at the same time, full of all the wrong things.
if you only knewi swearif you only knew4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the grocery store
was packed -
i could feel the
and the people, my
god the people
and not breathing.
it was june.
at her mother
sirens pouring from
her crooked-toothed mouth,
in isle three
i saw my face
and i wanted to
pick the scabs from her
knees, those were my
and i knew she didn't
know - father
of the house
wrist deep in an affair
clinging to his thighs,
(would he disclose this
information on the
night of their anniversary,
would the good china be
no - july.
it was july.
we are all addictssomewhere, someone is desperate to shoot up heroin.we are all addicts3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
somewhere, someone is desperate to fall in love.
No Difference BetweenEven with bare feet -No Difference Between4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Shoes, a distant contempt,
We might have been flying higher
Were we not pressing soil
We might have been better off
Decked out in iridescent scales
and in mud;
Flailing freely in breeze.
So let's take off these shoes, my dear,
And mix our edgeless skin
And pretend that there's a difference between -
Living in doubt, and
Living in sin;
pretend that there's a difference between -
Living without, and
Marlboro BoyI am something ugly,Marlboro Boy3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
with gaping jaws that scream to be fed
and eyes so red you would think I were a
Yet here I am, standing before you.
Eyes on the ground and mind somewhere
decidedly beautiful - and I am not crying,
but my shoulders are shaking and I can't breathe.
Yet here I am, standing for you.
I could have been worthwhile-
I could have saved myself if it
weren't for the way my bones ache
when you aren't around,
and how it feels for someone to
crush you under foot;
toxic and unwanted -
a bad habit.
The winds roar above me; and I
make promises to myself that
I will not keep.
Broken NeckI feel as if I am a ghost, inside of this house.Broken Neck3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Livid; living. I could slit your throat and
spit in your blood, you would not notice more
than a chill on your spine. A small shiver
of unrest. I am no old-soul; I am your children's
child. I'm unborn. Unreal.
And I put my trust in you.
This empty room, it is mine. Sterile-clean, I rest
my head. Bowed-down, almighty gods
heavy on my neck. I do not move for the fear of
stirring the sound. Heartbeat. Heartbeat.
I am a long way from home.
Static on your tongue, I move down the hallways
and your eyes do not touch me. I am
the image of nonexistent, and I am slightly afraid.
welcomedarkness, welcome.welcome3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
cross the threshold,
a groom carrying his bride,
marry me to fuck-you-very-much sentiment.
hold your hands over my ears,
ignore the way i ask you to leave.
i'm only serious when i'm conscious,
and i've been dreaming since i met you.
My poem to you.I met you through a new friend,My poem to you.4 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I was so shy and scared then,
not really knowing what to do,
I was so lost, and there was you.
I denied our attraction, 'cause I always have,
but you always seemed to make me laugh,
doubting my feelings, I just didn't know,
what I wanted, and where to go.
But since the beginning, you took my hand,
guiding me so I would understand,
that you'd be there, every step of the way,
"I'll break your shyness", is what you'd say.
So I let you in a little more each day,
you still made me laugh (I'm still smiling away),
you talked to me more, than the friends you knew,
even though I was the outsider within our group.
I 'rejected' your hugs many a times,
(a personal joke that we now still find),
I just couldn't do it, don't ask my why,
I guess I was still just way too shy.
But it didn't stop you, not even close,
instead you built the trust that I needed most,
so I said yes, and you was so kind,
you knew I was scared, and you gave me time.
You started by asking