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dear you:

there are storm clouds in your eyes
and all the warning signs
are pointing to destruction.

the cracks marring your cheeks
are oozing pus
and lies
and your makeup coverings have failed you.

you're falling apart
and screaming through every minute
and don't you see?

you've lost pounds of soggy eyelashes
and your skin is leaking pigment,
and god,
i only want to help you,
but you don't see yourself the way i do.



dear mirror girl:

i'm not happy with your grin.

it's much too fake;
a sloppy paint job
with no hope of ever changing.

you have rings around your eyes
and all you care to do is stare in desolation,
but don't you get it?

i'm tired of this lie.

take your hands out of your pockets
and wipe those tear-stains from your cheeks,
alright?

there are more important things
than beauty sleep
and relaxing baths
and that drawing in the corner.

wake up
and smell reality:
the rain falls everywhere,
not just on you.



dear me:

please,
stop squashing your heart.

i realize it's fragile
and it's broken
and it hurts...

but please...

i need it to breathe.

stop choking me with tears
and guilt
and apologies...

and just let me breathe.
Hm.

I'm being a bit hard on myself me thinks.

Ah well, it's something, at least.

April 2010

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please check out:

the places we keep our hearts

by :iconpaperheartsyndrome:
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Nobody hears

I am screaming,
In the depths of my mind,
But nobody hears
I have feelings,
Trapped, kept inside,
But nobody cares
All I receive,
For my efforts,
Are stares

My voice is gone,
From all my screaming,
That nobody heard
My throat is raw,
From all the words,
This is not what I deserve,
But nobody cares
I don't want to give you my pain,
I only want to share

I have started believing,
That I am unloved
I can't see it any other way
I'm giving in to my fears,
Because nobody hears
This has been going on for years,
For as long as I can remember
Yes, I am aware,
That nobody cares

I am ending,
My pathetic attempts,
At trust
I am sending,
A message to all those I must,
And I hope that your understanding,
Is so very clear
I have done all of this,
Because nobody hears

jlp September 27, 2008-Revised march 23, 2010
Pain, frustration, anger. These feelings happen when nobody hears.

This is written for all those who don't believe anyone's listening. I've been there. And sadly, for me, it was true, no-one WAS listening. But for all of you, it's NOT true.

I am listening.
:heart:
:icondonotuseplz::iconmyartplz:
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Wasted

Wasted hopes,
And wasted dreams
It seems that today,
We waste everything
Wasted hearts,
And wasted time
It seems that today,
We are wasting our lives
Wasted homes,
And wasted tears
We don't seem to learn,
And so we waste all our fears!

Wasting...everything...
Forgetting...what life means...

Forgetting love,
And reliving pain
Then we blame everyone around us,
For making us live this way!
Freedom is a drug,
I wish you could taste it!
But you don't have the desire,
It's already wasted!

Wasted knowledge,
And wasted pain
Means we are doomed to do it over,
And we still suffer the same!
Wasted boys,
And wasted girls
Never get a chance to find themselves,
In this wasted world!
Wasted moms,
And wasted dads
You wasted all your promises,
And they were all that you had!

Wasting...Everything...
Forgetting...what life means...

What it means!!

Forgetting love,
And reliving pain
Then we blame everyone around us,
For making us live this way!
Freedom is a drug,
I wish you could taste it!
But you don't have the desire,
It's already wasted!

Wasted words,
And wasted shame
If we don't change what we do,
In waste we will remain!

jlp September 18, 2008-Revised February 5, 2009
If you only open your mouth to complain, then your breath is wasted. Become the solution, instead of the problem.

Break. The. System.
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  Little Boy Lost

So often...
He felt so alone...
Alone...
Too many times...
Too many feelings never shown
Can you imagine his life?
A little boy grown cold,
With a heart made of stone

No joy...
Only pain...
But he cannot show it,
And so he lives in secret shame
Anger...
Frustration loosed, such rage...
And even looking back,
Nothing could have made it change

Little boy lost,
Little boy afraid,
Little boy haunted,
By choices others made
Little boy screams!
In the night!
He had not yet learned,
How to fight
In all his thoughts,
He was a little boy lost

Searching for answers...
That chose never to appear
By the time he was eight,
He was far older than his years
Windswept days...
Filled with tears...
That no-one could be allowed to see,
Because he was not free

Murderous fire...
Burning deep inside
All too often let out,
While another piece of him died
So many letters...
Written but never sent
Asking God above,"Why?"
He doesn't want to live like this...

Little boy lost,
Little boy in pain,
Little boy helpless,
Because of choices others made
Little boy's dreams!
All shattered beyond reprieve!
He had not yet learned,
How to believe
In all his thoughts,
He was a little boy lost

I am wondering today,
About who I am, and who I was
That little boy may be a memory,
But he is still a part of me
Because you see...
That little boy is now free

I was a little boy lost,
A little boy afraid,
A little boy wanting changes,
That he himself, could not make
A little boy angry,
A little boy deceived,
And against all the odds,,
That little boy grew up,
To become me

jlp September 17, 2008-Revised November 3, 2008
*Kasabe suggested I write about my childhood, I decided I would write something that was strictly about that, instead of just one dark time in my childhood.

This little boy is no longer lost.
:heart:
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a lover Pained
a lover Hurt
a lover Saddened-
a lover Curt.

a lover Stained
a lover Lied
a lover Sent To-
a lover Cried.

a lover Trained
a lover Bored
a lover Let Go-
a lover Stored.

a lover Tainted
a lover Tried
a lover Scorned-
a lover Died.
ah the lover...the secrets...the affair...the sorrow\\.lolz I wrote this trying to think of the negative properties of a lover.~~
tell me your thoughts.^^
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Feel Me Burn

Whispering seduction,
It's like self destruction,
Can't make the connection,
A small infatuation,
Invades me once again...
I might get over it,
But I can't tell you when
I'm full of a little,
A little too much sin

Feel me burn,
With the heat,
Of a thousand suns,
Because in my mind,
You are the only one,
That I want,
That I need
Without you my soul bleeds
Feel me burn

Take some time,
And you will learn what I see
Sit in my shoes for a while,
See what it means to be me...
The deadly consequences,
That I face,
Don't burn away the memories,
That time can't erase
I don't see what others see,
When they look at me

Hear me scream,
With the voice of memories gone
From this I gather,
The strength to go on,
All alone, alone
No-one hears me cry
I want you by my side,
But you don't see me,
You don't even know I'm alive

Feel me burn,
With the hatred of desire,
That you don't feel
See the changes,
And when you look at me,
It's your soul I'll steal
Watch me wounded,
Foundering away
The picture doesn't portray,
The meaning

jlp October 11, 2008-Revised May 20, 2009
Infatuation. Lust. Desire.
It's not love, no matter what you may think.

And it can destroy you.
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Confusion

Where are we going,
And who will be there that we see?
Will they know you?
Will they know me?
What do you believe?
I want to know how you feel,
Even if it breaks me...
Even if it slows me down,
Even if it makes me drown

One day we will see,
That alone we face eternity,
And even in my own mind,
There is no relief
We watch our dreams,
Come apart at the seams,
Only in a blinding love,
Can we be free
You don't have to understand,
You don't have to agree

Fires burn out of control,
Deep within our sordid souls
So black inside...
You just don't know,
Whether to hold on,
Or to let go
Like a rope around your neck,
One wrong move and it will break,
How much more can we take?

Wake up from your sleep,
You've gotten in way too deep,
You know there's nothing left to be,
Except with me
As it all begins to fail,
Who will be the one who stands tall?
Is this right at all?
It's such a precious thing,
All the happiness we bring,
In silence we sing
What do we need?
What do we dream?
We need hope to build on,
But we are so lost,
In confusion

jlp October 11, 2008
The confusion of love, what does it mean? Why do we feel this way? Why has life changed so much? Why doesn't he/she love me like I love them? Is this love?

It's so confusing.
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Today I woke and saw my window as every morning...

The same sky was outside, the same houses, the same people...

Yet the feeling inside me was slighty different...

I have a beating heart... that sometimes wants to bleed so hard...

I have my love far away from my touch...

The sadness aproacches me and I feel depress...

I see my sky once more, with this bleeding feelings of love all around me, and I think...

How lucky I am...

Somehow I see the world being full of art, so pretty, yet so open...

I feel free even when I feel that my hearts travels millions of miles to be right were it wants...

I feel so alive...

Everything inspires me, from the tick rain, to the burning sky, because I see the world as an open door...

Chances to have fun, chances to make love. chances to hold on...

Even when I cry I can feel the art coming trought my heart...

The fear of losing the love inside my heart gets lost when I see his pretty eyes and hear his beatiful voice...

I know I love him.. I know I miss him.. I know I want him...

I feel the desire coming all over my skin and I feel so alive...

So complete...

The knowing of this love has made my heart began to write once again and feel the freedom between the sheets that marks the time...

I have no time... I have no sense... I feel nothing but pure art...

Love is freedom and the freedom inside the love makes the soul flies like a beatiful bird you only get the chance to see above the sky getting away...

Such a higher feeling... such a higher thought...

I can be everywhere I want and still feel the music in my mind playing its beautiful sound....

I can share myself to the world and still be all his...

Yes my love is the open world and a single man all in once...

Yes I love myself so much and feel so free and still I love him complety and feel so his...

I feel so sad to have him so far.. I feel so dry because I cant touch him or feel his skin agaisnt mine...

But even so I feel so alive... I feel so full of love and passion inside...

The love inside frees the mind and the soul and gives us winds to fly...

To share the everything and the nothing at all and always feel happy to be alive...
I woke up feeling so inspire I hope someone reads it and likes it as much as I liked it
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“I have a riddle for you,” you said, and I smiled,
twisting my hair in my fingers.
“good. I like riddles.”
“if there’s a worm,” you said, “stuck at the bottom of a thirty-foot well,
and every day he climbs two feet up and
every night he slides one foot down – ”
“he gets out of the well on the twenty-ninth day,” I said.
“I know that one.
now:
I have one for you.”
you sat back a little and your lips twitched.
“okay,” you said, hesitantly.
“if there’s this relationship,” I said,
“stuck in a huge rut,
and every day it takes one step forward and
three steps back,
when does it reach the point that I can trust you again?”
.
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A woman waiting by the window,
Statue held by bated breath
No letters yet, no news of death.

The draft has come and cleared the board,
Of all but Bishops, Knights and Queens.
The Pawns have gone to play abroad,
And die in budget battle scenes.

To fall with phosphor flashing rounds
The Draft has come, Oh empty towns.
For SirBret's competition

[link]

The Draft has come, oh empty towns.
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