I Wanted To Be The Soundits raining as i write as i listen to
a song and my life is consumed by
perfection whilst i ignore its
faults and the moment weighs
upon my eyes and overtaken i
begin i want to cry but its
my nature to soak up the outer
layer of every small and lonely pain
just as im not tired
I COULD STAY HERE
BECOME SOMEONE DIFFERENT
BECOME SOMEONE BETTER
i want nothing more than to drown
what i am in my love
for the drops of rain down and
through our drain pipes
because i cant remember the last
moment i felt whole all
encompassing grip of night
and cool air doesnt feel as cold
KEEP ME ALIVE
the sound is dwindling
this song imagined every
moment passing through
the day because im prone to
the obsession settling in fingertips
the rain is falling but i do not
pray and i cant step outside my
legs frozen to the air
hitting the ground, soft sound
through the window i breathe in
i could never be as beautiful.
What If She Leaves?i heard a footstep fallingWhat If She Leaves?8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
on the floorboards set above me
the unrelenting creak
pounding against tired ear drums
i asked her once
before she burrowed into
my cheap pillowcase
hiding from the need to answer
hiding from the idea id shown her
twirling words between
the baton id never twirled
in front of bored and passive people
what if she leaves?
the rattle of small feet
as they paced about cramped rooms
her life falling into a patented sort of limbo
as i watched through the ceiling preventing
my voyeuristic urge to view the clothes thrown
in unceremonious piles and the
who bought the toothpaste truly matters
i asked her again
and she pressed a nose into my cheek
whispered something i couldnt hear
and held me close for such a time
i stopped thinking and counted the
bits of dandruff fallen to her shoulders out of her perfect hair
she looked me in the eyes
i repeated far too hoarsely
what if she leaves?
there were varied shouts as i
pulled my ey
We Build A Dreamhousei feel the raindropsWe Build A Dreamhouse8 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
down the lines and pathways
along the flawless blush
of your cold face
perhaps i have imagined
this moment of the two
of us so close together
in the night we can see
out the fogged chill of windows
of your lips through
the dim light of your smile
speaks a symphony
that in deep tones
i may move closer
than ive ever been
without the glass barriers
over your hands
in sterling silver dreams
if i could write music
like your voice within
this soon so distant memory
it would sing like a ghost
walking away from me
im no musician
and in transparent fingertips
i could see the poetry
in writing, flashing
it must be in your soul my boy
staring at the higlights
places without red glow lamp shades
and praying this shadow vision
will not run from my fingertips
knowing my grip 'round its wrist
will allow your eyes to dissapear from my arms
wrapped so weakly
and carving notes to remember
as they slide
im not there at all
Just Want To Be Seennot wanting a loverJust Want To Be Seen8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
just needing the
and recognized for being
look at them
each a week
gone for the years
mounting as theyre passing
seen a face
and there a smile
in backward places
a mothers only
a desperate one
in the back
shiny new tires
and a glistening frame
too original to be real
ending up sore
bruised about the mouth
fighting to the last breath
for no particular reason
just needing to
keep an honor
engrained to tell
he says im
still fond of you
speaking in the most
no one needs
just wanting then
and parted beauty
in a little time
relating to a notion
thats been played over and over
while theyre sleeping
wallowing in having nothing
Treat Her KindlystorybookTreat Her Kindly8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
bright blue eyes
and stuttered glances
long blonde hair
laying on the floor
they know where the water ends
press of lips
everyones supposed to know
when the door walks in
the clock dripping
its a painting on the wall
in a circle
word of mouth
nothing makes more sense
than the things that people hide
one day well live together
hes says life will be better
and thats the way love goes
for one or two
three or four
and they give
because thats what lovers do
outstretch a hand
with the world
theyll be vindicated
who exactly knows what from
everything from everyone
but theyre still singing spinning dying
her blue eyes are crying
and the world stops to a still
lies make more sense
finger there to a cheek
and the stars are falling
with a word
Once With You Behind the Wheelso when i told myselfOnce With You Behind the Wheel8 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
that id stopped counting
it was a very much complete and total lie
because if you scraped
chewed nails at that back of my memories
there would be dates written neatly
and that worried smile on my face
where i always chew my lip
until its bleeding
on to my fingers and wiped on my shirtsleeves
ive got a word written on the inside of my wrist
and it sings songs for me to picture with coke stained indifference
the edges and turns of the letters
are smudged with crimson that im wetting
with the ends of my flowered skirt and cleaning off
because i rather dont want to look at that one anymore
the one in teh very back as i stare at yellow lines on the road
and pressing my mouth to yours enough so i didnt scream
its pressing back and away and ironed back into bone
the heat is searing
just like im still going through and reading
carbon copies within the flesh of my tongue
and proofreading i realized that cowardice
is the only adjective
And Blurring My Sightliving for the momentAnd Blurring My Sight9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
in a warmth
i could imagine
but it was moving
but only if
looked the right way
i averted my eyes
there was something
that was until i started
it wasnt so many days ago
i wasnt living for too long
to my desires
forgetting the rest
of the world
in a childs touch
speaking what i
want to hear
you want to say
but i can
lying comes so naturally
i never spoke
i love you
because i loved you
and that is not
a fabrication of
be pretty for your
(i kissed one upon a time)
a blip on the radar
a loss on you
and i wont be able to find
looking at him and seeing
what i saw
its not a distraction
it is what i want
and i refuse
to wait for you
there was one thing
that wasnt a lie
being there with you
i have a new name
better than the ones
they can conceive
youd call m
The Blue Lights Getting CloseThe Blue Lights Getting Close8 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
i spread rosin over my fingertips
and traced letters on the cold
surface of my window sill
the residue is smoke breathing i love you
into temporary expanses
where i can blow the
evidence of being lonely isolated
spaced with five apart into the washed white creases
the song whispered 'where dust fears to tread'
and there are the shaded lines of light grip prints
along the curve of vessels under broken skin
and the ships that sail theyre spreading
so im bleeding
out pentagonal corners
and writing letters to remind myself where i am falling from
the chords of veins are ringing out
that i will stay here
finding ways to reverse my gravity and i flew to the sky
pink glow of clouds on the horizon
there is snow upon my wrists and up slopes to unbroken collars
the only boy ive ever loved
recant to decive in the lights i stare at with blushing cheeks
and brushing over
to mask the fear they hold and go away i dont want to see you anymore
boy, i dont want to love the unblemished be
Re: 7-28-05My beating heart was all,Re: 7-28-058 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I picked up the phone to call,
And you made me smile the way you do.
I held my pillow close,
And choked it 'til it was blue.
But it was just a substitute,
I fluttered in the sky,
I soared beyond the sun's reply,
And everything was very right.
You held me in your arms;
You kept my body through the night.
I was only yours,
I'll always want to hold,
Then even when we're old,
You'll still be sure that I'm your man.
The only one I need,
The only one who'll understand,
Is painting hearts on boxers with,
My empty heart's been filled,
My butterflies are thrilled,
With all the feelings that you put them through.
I need you in my arms,
To show you what I mean is true.
I just want to be,
Someday SomedaySomeday Someday8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i had forgotten
how id look for a flickering glance
maybe a misplaced smile
and always wait for the conscious laugh
cradled my senses
walked me wide eyed
as i dragged myself
nails scraping first
out of fleeting adolescence
and bright eyes
never knew the word
or know as i progress in
the inevitable fall of the bones in my body
looking for clouds on my back
in a park
my eyes a mirror
and then shattered
burned into a person
eternally unrequited desire
for one word
three words never necessary
id hold my life
in the flowery comfort of
my first kiss
perhaps on a bus
laying on a table
and staring into the place
where id always belong
three years of a grip
on my constant morphing
ne'er changing heart
fingers leaving bruises
before they fall into place again
but so clueless to oblivion
my fears one said they come to me in threes
being alive and dodging fear
i can whisper breath into
the formula of stories
with his name etched into the
thin mouths of their heroe
Obscene ButterfliesObscene Butterflies8 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
its raining outside.
silent rain. gentle rain.
this the kind that offers only small reminders. seeing your hands and downturned smiles in the small puddles at your feet.
i walked out the door, my hand on the metal grip of red blockades, to the chill of wind that drew against my body.
as if the pores that scattered over my skin were inhaling long shattered breaths.
and my clothes danced around me.
drawing the black sleeves of my coat around my shoulders and walking forth. i could see the shadows, phantom energy, drawing patters up my bare legs with the frost edges of their mouths. they would be blue like the sky hidden behind the light grey advance of these clouds.
the shaded stretch of concrete was empty as i moved with gentle strides against their arms and i could see the outlines of people, drawing faces to the shoulders of taller boys in dirty sweaters. kissing their faces gently and in earnest because its the movement of dreams set to the motion of Right Now, rain drops falling to
I Didn't Even Stop YouYou changed me.I Didn't Even Stop You8 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I know what you did you son of a bitch.
You shattered my dreams and now I'm not the same.
You fucked with my soul and filled me with shame.
Now I don't know myself and I have you to blame.
And I didn't even stop you.
You used me.
You know what you did, but do you even know why?
Did you even think about me? No, it was all about you.
You fucked with my mind and you didn't think I knew.
Now I'm somebody else and I don't even know who.
And I didn't even stop you.
I hate you.
If you don't realize it yet, you're gonna find out.
Not sure what I'll do, but I guess we'll both see.
I'll scream bloody murder if you come anywhere near me.
I'll make you pay dearly for the thing you took for free.
Why the hell didn't I stop you?
I hate me.
If you didn't know who I was, you won't want to now.
I don't know who I am or what I should do.
I can't control things like I used to be able to.
I don't act like me now and I don't know how to.
I didn't even stop you.
One DayWe will have a house,One Day8 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
A big one, you and me.
And we will have a room,
Where we can watch TV.
And we might have some kids,
And we might have a cat,
And we'll come home from work,
To cuddle while we chat.
And we can lay around,
On lazy afternoons.
And you might leave to get a drink,
But I'd hope you'd be back soon.
And I'll be writing words,
And you'll be drawing Pon,
And you'd miss me if I went to pee,
And I'd miss you while I was gone.
One day, I promise you,
We'll do everything that couples do.
...In just about a year....
Forever's getting pretty near.
We'll go out Saturdays,
To shop in all the stores.
Your elbow hooked inside my arm,
Or mine locked into yours.
Or I might hold your hand;
Your fingers grabbing mine.
And I will kiss you on the lips,
Or maybe on your neck sometimes.
And then I'll look into your eyes,
Your face will get all red.
And then we'll both be smiling,
Without a word even being said.
And then I'll walk you home,
And open up our door,
And love you for the afternoon
RosebudRosebud8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Bruises on her heart
she says he has no feelings and
at the same time she likes the way
he mockingly calls her baby
Rosebud on wind
she needs someone
someone to tell she's beautiful
Rosebud, rosebud indeed
she reaches out her slender arms
to touch the tips of the tallest trees
and she wants someone to tell her
that she doesn't need to be perfect
She's blooming all over lives
arresting all of the navy skies
officially someone who deserves
to spoil in a peaceful slumber
she's someone who should just have her way
in every passing day
No one in this fearful world
should ever have to lie to be perfect
and I'm right here telling
that she's beautiful.
The World Can Wait...The World Can Wait...8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The World Can Wait…
When the night falls
Covered by all the rain
Here in the middle of the street
You look at me
Give me a kiss
How did I get you
How I do not know
How are you standing here
Beautiful inside and out
Just shut up and kiss me
Butterflies you feel
And you don't know why
Love is just you and me
And in the end
All I've got is you.
Teen SleazeThe eating disorders.Teen Sleaze8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Straight boys in love with hapless, beautiful lesbians.
Loving no one.
Loving one person who will never love you back.
Loving a person who secretly does love you back, but neither being bothered to tell.
Loving a person who lies when he says he does, looking away.
Or cupping you face in his hands and lying through imperfect teeth.
Rape and forgotten memories.
Parents that leave scars.
Driving in the backseats of cars you shouldn't be in.
Bleeding when there's no one else around.
Posessive and manipulative boyfriends.
Writing songs for little girls.
Crying in the dark to one's self.
Confusion over a thrown aside orientation.
Kissing girls when your boyfriends sitting beside you.
Hiding in locker rooms.
Burning memories in old notebooks.
Hitting strings without a melody.
Telling mom "I'm at her house."
Her saying the same.
Lost virginity in abandoned houses.
When parents are away.
If This Plane Is CrashingIf this plane is crashingIf This Plane Is Crashing8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Then we might as well go down with a fight
Because I don't want to say
I died with no way out of it.
I want us to hold hands
And scream all the colours of the rainbow
We can tell the pilot
To steer clear of the rocks
Oh, and if we hear a whistle.
And we knows that's the end
Then we'll close our eyes and pray
We land face down together
So that when we wake up
And the crash is all around us
Our fighting really saved us
And we will tell all the papers
We were in love.