Needle and the Damage Done 3
"Robert! Robert wake up!"
"Jesus Christ, Robert, you fucking scared me."
My heart was pounding against my ribs. I sat up and combed my hair back with my fingers. My forehead was sweating. My eyes were tired but darted towards the clock with haste. It was five o'clock in the afternoon. I'd been sleeping since eight that morning. I looked back to Jimmy and tried to catch my breath. Yeah, I had been having nightmares, but the second Jimmy woke me up, they'd vanished completely, leaving me with a sick sense of fear in my gut.
"You scared me," he said again, looking at me with concern. He was already dressed in his white dragon outfit for tonight. I couldn't see his eyes through his aviators, and I felt disconnected as my dream haze still clung to my mind.
"Shit," I said, finally getting a hold of myself. "What happened?"
"I fell asleep after you, then I woke up to you screaming--"
"Fuck, I gotta get ready," I shot, pushing myself out of bed, trying to leave behind the sick feeling
Needle and the Damage Done 2 I had got out of bed, and after checking Jimmy's head in case he's knocked it on anything on the way down, I put a blanket over him, got dressed, and left. He looked rough, but he'd had worse. I was sure of it.Needle and the Damage Done 24 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
I took a little walk around outside. It was still pretty early, and when I reached the seaside, it was empty.
My nerves were hurting for a smoke. I took out a cigarette and stuck it between my lips, then took out my lighter and flicked it in the morning air a couple times. Sparks snapped at me, but there was no fuel left. I'd only bought it three days ago and it was already out.
"Fuck," I cursed, tossing it into the sand. The tide was in and it swallowed it up greedily.
I heard my name being called, and I shot around.
"Hey, Robert!" it came again. Jonesy stood at the top of the concrete stairs that led down to the sand.
"Hey," I greeted him lamely. "What's up?" I distantly wondered how he knew I was here until I r
Needle and the Damage Done 5 Bonzo had gone all intervention on me that night. He invited himself into my and Jimmy's hotel room with a six pack of beer and an air about him that told me I'd be having fun tonight if I liked it or not.Needle and the Damage Done 54 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
The customary sound of cans cracking open signified the beginning of our night, and we both took our first drinks. I was still smoking more often than not. It seemed like the whole night I had one of the damn things in my hand, and we had to open the balcony door because the smell of smoke was getting pretty bad.
We were in the living-room type part of the hotel room. It was a whole fuck of a lot nicer than the hotels we used to get back when we just started travelling to gigs. Those ones were usually two-room nameless doghouses. This one was actually verging on relaxing.
We had the lights down low, the muted television flashing light over the room. I was on the couch, Bonzo on the armchair across from me.
"Jesus, Percy, you look like a fucking crack-hea
Needle and the Damage Done 1 I'd seen it all before. The flower children with their grass. The junkies with their smack. I'd seen the dirty needles and the cut up straws. The burnt knives and spoons. It was all part of the act, and though in the beginning I would stare, now I could walk right past them lining up their powder with such practiced ease and I wouldn't even give a second glance. It wasn't hard to ignore when it was so mundane in the music scene. That's what we did. We experimented and had a fuck tonne of fun doing it, until someone would look in the mirror one day and try to convince themselves they hadn't changed. But it was bullshit, and they'd know it. I'd seen people get thinner and thinner until it seemed as if they'd break under the pressure of their own screwed up mentality. I'd seen people grow old too fast; picking at themselves until they had pulsing sores all down their arms, letting their physical state go in a way that was way beyond not caring. I'd seen some dirty, greasNeedle and the Damage Done 14 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Needle and the Damage Done 10 I'd been wrong. It wasn't weird in the morning at all. Robert was already awake and through my instant withdrawal from waking, I could hear him vaguely in the other room.Needle and the Damage Done 104 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
I actually considered using this time behind his back for a quick snort, but he'd seen it coming and hid my things somewhere. I was almost distainfully uncool with that.
"Robert," I croaked, pulling the blanket onto myself a bit more.
"You're awake." He was immediately in the door way looking for my confirmation that I was okay.
But I wasn't.
"What time is it?" I asked him instead.
"Two o'clock. You slept in."
"Wow. No shit."
Yeah, I'd slept in. That accounted for the unusually strong effects of coming down I was experiencing. It had been at least twelve hours since I'd last shot up. God knows the only reason I slept so long without waking up was because of Robert's arms around me.
"I made breakfast," he said sheepishly, cocking an eyebrow with some hope I would eat.
"I wish I could stomach it, Percy
Needle and the Damage Done 7Needle and the Damage Done 74 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
I was in paradise once.
It really wasn't that long ago. Physically, I mean.
But I could almost cry at how long ago it feels mentally.
I was in paradise that one day. That single day, the first bedazzling break into ease, and I was overwhelmed with relief and the thought that anything could ever have been any different felt so childish.
I was comfortable. Sitting around a fire in blanket with a cup of milky sugary tea kind of comfortable.
But I wasn't just that.
No, I was euphoric.
I was in nirvana.
I was kissing the creator.
And I've tried to get back there.
I've taken the same path I took in the first place, but it never leads me back to the fire.
It never leads me back to that glittering dawn that filled my whole body to the brim with purest, most complete contentment.
Now I feel crooked. Something's not right. My mind is fuzzy
Needle and the Damage Done 8Needle and the Damage Done 84 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Bonzo and a passed-out Jimmy were more or less waiting for me when I finally got the guts to go back to the hotel room. Avery welcome six-pack of beer was on the easy chair and with my rushed 'hi,' I twisted one out of the plastic and went straight for my suitcase as I cracked it open.
"Busy man," Bonzo snickered. "What're you looking for?"
I was bent over the side of the bed rummaging my suitcase for a doob.
"Ganja, baby," I said with dark humour. I tried to sound happy, but I was shittier than I had been before the concert.
"Here we go " I said to myself, finding the small metal tin I kept my weed in. There were four joints inside and after pulling one out, I went in for another, then finally just took the whole tin and headed for the living room.
The whole time I'd stone-cold ignored Jimmy who was on his bed. I'd glanced over to see if he'd been shooting up. He'd been snorting apparently, which I felt better about before I reminded myself- tonight was going to
Needle and the Damage Done 6Needle and the Damage Done 64 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Our next concert was almost funny in its complete failure.
I mean, we were good, but we were always good. We usually tried to make it something special each time, but my and Jimmy's trademark synchronisation was way off hilt.
I always had fun with Whole Lotta Love. I mean, come on- we'd practically duel, theremin to voice, Jimmy's long arms cutting into the air and drawing shrieks from that thing, and I'd always be there going along with it, imitating the wails, dancing along to the back beat, and sometimes to my great pleasure, pulling smirks from Jimmy's lips, so shrewdly content under his dark bangs.
But when the chorus came, Jimmy hadn't even leaned over to sing it with me. It was so silly, but it seemed like our little thing. Between friends, I mean. These were just the things we did on stage.
But that night there was no smiles, no connectivity, no nothing, because Jimmy was pissed right the fuck o
Needle and the Damage Done 11Needle and the Damage Done 114 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
I woke up to someone drumming at my back.
I craned my aching neck to the side just to see Bonzo smiling down at me.
"Are. You. Fucking. Serious," I snarled. I had a deep sleep going on for once. That meant more easier hours not wanting to shoot up. And Bonzo kills it with his urge to drum on other humans.
"Hey Pagey. What's goin' on?" he asked, seemingly oblivious to the deep shit I was in.
"What's going on? I'll tell you what's fucking going on." I pushed his hands off of my side and raked my greasy hair back. "The only peace I get in hours, and you fucking wake me up?! Who the fuck told you to come here anyways?" I felt a bit bad later about yelling at him, but at the time, I was goddamn pissed off.
"Robert. Robert did. He told me he needed to go for a walk and he wanted me to watch you."
"What? Was me sleeping too boring for you? You had to---- Bonzo, get me the painkillers, would you?"
He got up and grabbed them from the table and tossed the bottle to
Needle and the Damage Done 9Needle and the Damage Done 94 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
He looked so flustered with his flopping over his shoulders and onto my pillow.
He was looking at me like I was going to attack him or something.
"God, Jimmy, I can't wait any longer," he pouted.
"I might make you, Percy." I looked up at him through my drunken eyes.
"Oh, don't even-"
I took my hand off his cock. His face fell.
"Don't want to be teased?" I asked.
"No, Pagey," he said, lips pursing. "Not right now."
I just laughed and rubbed his chest, trying not to show my own arousal. I wanted to be in control. Then tonight would be perfect.
"Then tell me what you want," I retorted, giving him false control.
"Touch me," he said simply in a voice that was low and assuming.
"Like this?" I touched his head really light and couldn't help the drunken grin spreading across my face at his reaction if I tried.
"No," he groaned. "Not like that."
"Then tell me Percy. I already asked you to. So do it."
I think he was starting to pick up on how it was going to be now.