Encyclopedia NoobtanicaNoob as defined in the Spooksters Dictionary: Noun; "a rude/crude/rascist/stupid/and probably illiterate asshole/bitch/bastard/SOB/cunt/fucktard/dumbassed piece of shit."Encyclopedia Noobtanica8 years ago in Humor More Like This
Following are eighteen different varieties of noobs.
1. THE BAD GRAMMAR NOOB
Probable age: Any.
Probable sex: Either.
Fucktardedness: Low to high.
Info: Easily the most common type of noob, these people appear unnable or unwilling to submit to the rule of grammar, spelling, or punctuation. You may spend several moments trying to decipher whatever the hell it is that the person actually said. An example: "im in ur bas kilin ur dudz."
2. THE SQUEEKER
Genre: Any genre with voice support.
Probable age: 8-13
Probable sex: Male.
Info: Imagine the most high-pitched child you can. Now imagine that child shrieking vulgarities and vague threats and insults at you over the headset. Where the fuck are this kids parents?
3. "IT'S THE LAG, I SWEAR!" NOOB
Ned the CreationistNed was a creationist who lived across the way,Ned the Creationist10 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
And searched me out to argue with me almost every day.
He thought it was through miracles that each new kind appears,
And that the world had been around for just eight thousand years!
I sometimes showed him fossils, but he always took the line
They must be either fake, or an intelligent design.
He had a strong conviction that I never could dispel;
That accepting evolution was the way to go to hell!
I found a Sinornithosaurus in my yard one day.
It seemed a perfect chance to show him what I had to say.
And possibly a creature could convince him more than words,
And help him see that dinosaurs were ancestors of birds.
I gave my feathered dinosaur to Ned. A week went by,
He never mentioned it at all, which made me wonder why.
I asked how it was doing, and his subtle look of doubt
Convinced me I should visit him in effort to find out.
I knocked three times upon the door, and Ned allowed me in.
I saw my dinosaur behind him, covered
Shedding Light on "Twilight"Shedding Light on TwilightShedding Light on "Twilight"6 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
In todays literary world, few novels have sold as many books or gained as large a fan base as the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. The disease invoked by these romance novels has claimed a large portion of Americas disillusioned teenage girls; mainly those unsatisfied with their own relationships. But why have these novels won such acclaim? Is it the fact that the almost five hundred pages of the book are full of almost nothing but ill-conceived romance? Or perhaps it is the plot, which is comparable to the fantasies of a twelve-year-old girl? Then again, maybe the things that inspire such enthusiasm among fans are the main characters, timid and plain Bella Swan and the statuesque, mirage-like, muscled, angelic, marble, sparkling vampire hero, Edward Cullen (who, need I mention, watches the main character when she sleeps). Whats not to love about that?
One of the major attr
Dinosaurs are Still HereAt the end of tenth grade, the principal of Princeton High school kicked me out of his school because he didn't like my political viewpoints. It was a bizarre thing for him to do, and drew the disapproval of a few members of the board of education, but since he was the principal he had the power to do it if he wanted to. I was a libertarian and he was a knee-jerk liberal, so he preferred not to have me polluting his school with my viewpoints.Dinosaurs are Still Here10 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
The most obvious way this affected me was that I was no longer able to continue seeing my girlfriend who went still to his school, but anyone who knew my reaction to stress could see that its effects went far beyond this. Thanks to my having obsessive-compulsive disorder, I wasn't able to go to sleep each night until my nails were exactly the way I wanted them to be. And after I got kicked out of Princeton high school, it took me seven hours every night for me to get them that way.
There's one other thin
MY INFECTED ANGELMY INFECTED ANGEL11 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
MY INFECTED ANGEL
Screaming, dreaming of her past
choosing, losing, falling fast
waking, shaking, she cannot sleep
hiding from the things that creep
crying, lying in her bed
spinning, all she sees is red
breaking, faking smiles all day
nobody knows she feels this way
fighting, writing down her thoughts
her pen and paper is all she's got
feeling, peeling away her skin
my infected angel, my perfect sin
In Memory of John OstromIn Aptian and Albian of ages gone,In Memory of John Ostrom10 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Deinonychus possessed no titan's crushing bite,
But only crescent claws in place of size or might
To tear apart the creatures whom he preyed upon.
He courted only females with his nascent wings,
Unconscious of their greater use to court the sky,
Or yet the perseverance of his kin who fly
Beyond the strange disasters that the future brings.
In Quaternary year of nineteen sixty-four,
Deinonychus was first exhumed by human hands,
To prize from Cloverly's archaic stone and sands
The features of John Ostrom's newfound dinosaur.
He courted only knowledge with his study's quest,
Unknowing the renown such research surely draws,
From metabolic fury shown in sickle claws,
And avian relationships such traits suggest.
And now, professor Ostrom, though the time is nigh
For you to join your ancient brother in the past,
The eras learned before your studies ceased at last
Have promised that your legacy will never die.
Deinonychus knew nothing of his kin who flew,
Airport security...Airports are one of the funniest things ever. Painful, and inconvenient, but funny.Airport security...6 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
I swear, airports are anti-hygiene. You go through security, and they take your shampoo, your deodorant, your mouthwash, toothpaste, toenail clippers... The list goes on.
Yah, sure the say it is for security. But they really just want to make more people stinky.
And really, there is a better answer to security. When you go through the security terminal everyone over the age of twelve should be given a big six inch knife. Then all they would have to do is require you to hold it the whole plane ride. Any terrorists on the plane would be hopelessly outnumbered.
And some of the things they don't confiscate. They'll take your 2" nail file away. You threaten a terrorist with that, and they'll laugh at you before they shoot you. But, they don't take your Jerusalem bible. Have you ever seen one? Almost four inches thick, and hard bound. You hit a terrorist over the head with one of those, not only will he have
Why Writers Should Watch TVWhy Writers Should Watch TV6 years ago in Academic Essays More Like This
Ive heard the argument that writers shouldnt watch TV and movies because that will inundate them with all the cliché plots and characters out there and somehow brainwash them into not being able to create an original story.
Me: *blank stare*
First of all, there is absolutely nothing new under the sun. Therefore, it is impossible to create something totally unique and original no matter how many bad movies you see. Furthermore, the more story lines that enter your brain, the more you realize just how unique or not your own story is.
Most importantly, an original story is not a new story. It is simply taking a common idea and combining it with other common ideas to create a new and fresh sequence of otherwise common ideas.
Think of stories like cookies. All the different types of cookies represent different types of genres and plots. Ingredients like chocolate chips and nuts represent c
What About Death?I am going to die on my own terms.What About Death?5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And, that being said, I shall elaborate upon the menace of Time
Let him not take me into his arms and fatal embrace
I will not fall to a kiss that brings slow decay
To the corners of my mind I hold most sacred
Let me be struck down in my prime
The cause self-inspired or not
Never to wither, surrounded by burning white
And drowning in the dust falling from my lashes
I will not be so frail of heart to
Become so frail of body and mind
Loathe to spend endless hours
In contemplation of my time running out
I'd rather cut it short
In the Beginning Jark createdIn the Beginning Jark created12 years ago in Humor More Like This
In the Beginning Jark created DeviantART. The community was without form and void, and the Addictive Spirit was hovering over the bandwidth.
And Jark said 'Let there be Forums to control the masses!' and there were Forums.
And Jark said 'Let there be Senior Members to govern the slaves!' and there were Senior Members.
And Jark said 'Let there be Furry-Haters to provide the prejudice!' And there were Furry-Haters.
And Jark said 'Let there be Noobie haters to have dominion over the Noobies!' And there were Noobies and Noobie Haters.
And Jark said 'Let there be Pageview Whores to rule the page counts!' And there were pageview whores.
And Jark said 'Let there be DTF's to encourage competition!' And there were DTF's. And then there were not. Because Jark decided what he had made were not good, and so deleted them.
And on the 7th day, Jark rested.
Then he saw the Community he had created, the angst, the suffering, the torment above all torments! And thus created DAV3. The Saviour of
Estoy aqui...Estoy aqui...11 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Estoy aquí, no encuentro salida
Estoy en el parque sentado en una silla
Triste y llorando como una niña…
He despertado no veo la luz del día…
He despertado de nuevo
Estoy en el parque tirado en el suelo
Veo pasar a una niña corriendo
Creo que estoy loco, de nuevo.
Creo que esto es causado por tanto desvelo…
He despertado de nuevo no encuentro consuelo.
No distingo ya la realidad
Mi mente consumida por mi necedad…
Mis ojos rojos a causa de la soledad,
Llorando y llorando sin una causa en especial.
Una niña se detuvo y solo pienso en que querrá…
Ha vuelto a correr
Siento que la debería de detener…
He despertado de nuevo y sigo sin entender…
Niña disculpa, ¿Por qué corres?
¿Cuál es la prisa que tienes?
¡¿Por qué no respondes?!
¡¿Qué es lo que quieres?!
He despertado de nuevo solo veo rincones…
Ahora vine al panteón
Es solo que no encuentro otra opción…
No me siento bien en mi antigua locación.
¡¿Qué haces aquí?! ¡Vete ya del panteón!
Ella solo observa en mi pantalón…
Me esta ac
-anew--anew-11 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and yet another summer
upon the darkened water's broken sighs
these undying depths lay
our truths of which
revealed to save
and now she awakes
whispered words tremble,
and it is now
i am sure
that she can see
through glamorous dreams,
now from her slumber
she rises overdue
reach for me...
all the warmth
that danced within
play for me...
the midnight show
of prancing blades
tracing of the pain-
the painful lines across my soul.
she awakes always
to a fossil sun sky
unbound and alive
again yet i must know
tonight i will not.
Irony at its BestYo I dont like rap, I think its crass and rude,Irony at its Best7 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
A bunch of guys with baggy jeans and bad attitudes,
If you wanna hear good music then listen to rock,
Buy some Drowning Pool CDs and then well talk.
Rap doesnt have true meaning and its not very smart,
And remixes with Jay-Z really ruin Linkin Park.
It doesnt have a tune and it doesnt keep in time,
And it only takes a first grader to know how to rhyme!
I really couldnt care less that 50 Cent is In Da Club,
And I think that Souja Boy is just a stupid nub.
Dont wanna know the meanings behind Lollipop and Candy
Though I think Urban Dictionary would really come in handy.
I never was a cholo and I dont know how they lean,
And seriously, what the heck does Crank Dat even mean?
I hope so far my rhymes have made you see some sense,
If you like rap this is just for fun so please dont take offense.
Paying to hear people talk to beats is
durmiendo entre tiDragones salvajes volando en el cielodurmiendo entre ti11 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Brillantes hojas bailando en el viento
Una suave caricia retumba en el tiempo
Y tu nombre lejano bordado en recuerdos
Tatuado hasta el final del mundo
Cuando se rompan hielos y fuegos
Hacia un futuro incierto
Voy caminando al lugar de tus sueños
Te invadiré suavemente
Calculando cada centímetro de tu cuerpo
Mi presencia viva en tu mundo nuevo
todo fue un sueño
La noche obscura y tranquila me observa
Besos de viento helado
Y el danzar delicado de la hierba
REAL Washingtonians.......REAL WASHINGTONIANS ..REAL Washingtonians.......6 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
Real Washingtonians see 60 degrees and start wearing shorts while tourists wear thick coats and stare like everyones gone crazy.
Real Washingtonians never say, I never thought it would be this cold in Washington!
Real Washingtonians know how to pronounce Sequim. Its SQUIM, not See-Quim.
Real Washingtonians are happy when the temperature above seventy-five, while tourists moan about their tan.
Real Washingtonians arent tan. The rain washes the color out of our skin.
Real Washingtonians are confused when they go to other states and its not freezing and pouring rain.
Real Washingtonians dont mind getting wet.
Actually, some of us do. Because we rust.
Real Washingtonians are part fish. Or maybe ducks.
The above is why you shouldnt be surprised to see Washingtonians with webbed feet.
Real Washingtonians understand that there is more to Washington than Seattle and Tacoma.
Real Washingtonians arent surprised whe
Gay MarriageGay Marriage10 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
Why is it that "faggot" and "queer" and "homo" have all become insults. Some people (most guys I know) get so angry when I jokingly call them gay that they won't even talk to me for days. This is ridiculous and disrespectful. Do you think the gay community goes around to their friends saying, "Dude, you're such a hetero. Get away from me" nope, they don't.
We had this very brief discussion during civics last year. Mr. Jordan says, "We aren't going to debate gay marriage
Veronica, "Well, why not?!"
Jordan, "Because anyone against it can't get passed the argument of that they just think homosexuality is wrong"
Veronica, "That's because that is the only argument they have against it. There is no real argument."
Jordan, "I said we aren't debating it."
Veronica, "No, but we can debate abortion and the death penalty, gun control and some stupid law in some retarded state that won't let some kid get photographed in the year book with a rifle. Clearly that case has some intellectual impact. Te
The Bookworm LamentsThe Bookworm Laments10 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
We all know the advantages of being a Bookworm – the richness of imaginative experience (a.k.a. day-dreams), the broadening of horizons (a.k.a. someone else's ideas), the constant friend always by your side (a.k.a. book) and vast built-up reserves of general knowledge (a.k.a. trivia). But who talks about the disadvantages, huh? Besides the all-pervasive semi-myth about geeky bookworms (Simply stated, the myth goes Bookworms are geeky), who can speak, off-hand, about the problems, the real problems?
Think about it – you excavate your nose from the Lord of the Rings (the one they made the movie on, yes) and realise that in the past hour, your mom has volunteered you for dishwashing duty, your boyfriend has left you (you're not sure why, you weren't paying him any attention) and a little dog has begun to gnaw on your ankle… It's just so easy to get lost in the make-believe worlds the authors lay down for you – for that matter, it's easy to lose yourself in a book
Forever.Forever.9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Rigid lips of steel,
outline her solidity.
Imposing fear and sorrow,
her intentions unclear to you,
Tears of gravel,
flow downward across cement.
Reaching the edge of their journey,
sticking to her pale face.
End the resent;
cast the flames,
to burn the depression.
Transfer your emotions for her,
which can only be called love.
Strike her lips, melt the steel;
softening it into red crescents of velvet.
Forgive her, forgive yourself.
Chapped mascara meets your fingers,
her eyes are no longer cloaked.
Tears now fall as oil,
running down in fine streaks;
reaching their new edge, sliding off.
And onto your heart, burrowing a slot;
Pirate CodeI. All crew is to be treated fairly as they are equal.Pirate Code7 years ago in Philosophical More Like This
II. Anyone can join the crew regardless of gender, age, religious views, and diet.
III. Dont underestimate anyone; they could be the one to end your life.
IV. You cannot gamble money during a game of cards or dice, but you can gamble jewels and jewellery
V. Musicians have the choice of resting on Sunday if they wish to do so.
VI. Everyone can vote and have equal say during affairs.
VII. To desert the ship will result in death or being marooned.
VIII. All prizes are to be equally shared.
IX. If a person is to steal anything from another crew, they will be shot.
X. Keep your weapons clean and ready for battle.
XI. Animals are best to keep off the ship.
XII. There must always be a deck of cards and plenty of dice for playing.
XIII. The captain has the first say.
XIV. If found guilty of cowardice, the person will be marooned.
For Zexion LoversFor Zexion LoversFor Zexion Lovers4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Zexion and Vexen stood in the streets; Zexion held his open Lexicon close to his chest while Vexen's blue shield rested on his arm. The Heartless surrounding them were arched in the backs--then they sprang. A bright light and flashes of ice and swings blurred the area, and then Zexion and Vexen were crouching on opposite sides of the Radian Garden town square. The Heartless were still and then, one by one, they disappeared in a series of puffs of smoke, their hearts floating and melding into the clouds.
The two Nobodies stood up, straightening their coats and allowing their weapons to fade away.
"Ah, another job well done," Vexen said aloud, dusting his hands off. "Shall we return?" Zexion was looking off into the distance. Vexen approached him and followed his eyes. A girl sat on a bench looking up and around at the flowers before her. She'd sm
EnlightenmentWe are but creations just mirrored by our soulEnlightenment6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Picking pieces in our life to complete and make us whole
Snippets of both the good and bad so we can differ still
Of what is right and wrong and when we've had our fill
In knowing when to share and to give back in return
To know when not to take too much, a lesson to learn
Of seeing what is beyond that of which is in our gaze
Such hope for us to lead mankind from this tortured haze
Each one has a special place in the plan of life as shown
It is up to us to nurture and show we have grown
To let our feelings guide us with mistakes being made
Remember where we once erred and not let it fade
For others to learn and do what should be done
A brighter future for us in each rising sun
We hoard so much knowledge like leaves in the wind
With empathy and compassion towards those who have sinned
For none of us are perfect and our faults make us whole
It is who we are that will generate our soul
.:For Zexion Lovers:.You find yourself in the same room as him, Number VI in the organization. Its just you and him, but you cant figure out why. You dont even know where you are. He's coming closer to you and you feel your heart beating faster and faster. Zexion puts one hand behind your head and smiles at you, then he starts leaning towards your face. You start hearing a voice and everything goes away..:For Zexion Lovers:.5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"Wake up!" you wake up to see Demyx shaking your arm. You look around and realize that you're in the library, sitting at a table with Demyx and Zexion across from you. "Ha, Ha," Demyx said, "She drooled all over her book! she drools!" "and snores" Zexion added, his eyes were focused on his book. You look over at Zexion and your face instantly turns red. Mainly because of your dream and the fact that you've liked him ever since he started talking to you.
"You fell asleep in the library...again." He says, still not looking up from his book. You notice Demyx staring at you, "Are you sick? Your face is red!"
I Love Star WarsI Love Star Wars a parody of I Love this bar by Toby KeithI Love Star Wars9 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
We got Wookies
We got Gungans
Bounty hunters and Humans
We got Twileks
We got Bothans
We got green Rodians
And the droids arent allowed in Cantina bars
Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm, I love Star Wars
We got Mynok
We got Zabrak
Mon-Calamari and Sarlaac
And we got small Dugs
We got Ewoks
Neimodians and star pilots
And Corellians brag about their battle scars
Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm, I love Star Wars
I love Star Wars
It's my kind of film
Just watchin them Jedi fight
Makes me wanna be just like them
It aint too hard
To learn each part
Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm, I love Star Wars
I've seen Protocols
We've got Astromechs
Storm Troopers and Imperial stiff-necks
And we got lovers
Like Han and Leia
I've even seen a chick Hutt with Jabba
And they like to drink their Spice from a big ol jar
Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm, I love Star Wars
(Yes I do)
Me: I like Star Trek