An Adult's Letter to SantaAn Adult's Letter to Santa10 years ago in Prose More Like This
Every year, after suffering through horribly tacky presents, like a single, hideous sock, a box of Kleenex, a piece of wood, a bag of two-year old candy from the dollar-store, an out-of-date phonebook, a dead fish, and some toilet paper - not to mention the same damn fruitcake that I've gotten for the past six years, this year, I've decided to ask you for something that's not in your toy sack and won't fit down the chimney.
This year, I'm asking for a perfect man. The perfect man has beautiful blue eyes, good hygiene, ripped abs, a genius IQ, a nice car, a tan, and a Harvard education. He is filthy rich, very artistic, a CEO of a major corporation, is no more than five years older than I am, and is drop-dead-gorgeous. He cooks like a professional chef, washes the dishes, vacuums, loves to travel, will give me massages whenever I want, and will do anything in his power to please me.
Oh, wait - that man does not exist...nevermind then, just give me some chocolate.
P.S. If I e