What Fools You Mortals BeAnd then they all got chased by some killer bees.What Fools You Mortals Be6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
And then Toni was actually the Giant Hulking Lungfish of Lake Oblongata that was stealing children's brains.
And then Veser became Czar of all of Russia and decreed that everyone should own a pet shark.
And then Conrad flew to the moon and started a colony of immortal chocolate Easter bunnies that would one day take over the world.
And then Hanna and his zombie friend said, "Screw this stupid Victorian Age!" and traveled to the future using a time machine built by Doc Worth which created a tear in the fabric of time and space effectively destroying the universe for all eternity.
And that's why bananas grow on trees.
1000 Fluffy Labcoat BatsConbat paced bloodily back and forth. Rotten dread filled his heart. Worth should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my delicious love, Conbat thought. Where could you be?1000 Fluffy Labcoat Bats6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Worth had been taken hostage by Fluffy Fang, a supervillain who had the city in a state of charming terror. Conbat fainted dead away, like a beautiful unicorn in an iridescent negligee.
When he came to, there was a bump on his wing and the rotten dread had returned. "Worth, my filthy honey bunny," he cried out absurdly. "What is Fluffy Fang doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing pervishly as he licked him in the hair.
In the midst of all the terror and tears, Conbat remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 fluffy labcoat bats, then whatever you wish for will come true.
Conbat ordered in a supply of fluffy labcoats and set to work, folding bats until his wing was sore and he could hardly see. It took
Dipper's Five Shades Of PacificaPacifica Northwest was not currently happy with her life. Everything in her life was changing so fast it was putting her emotions in a tizzy, it was enough to make her head spin.Dipper's Five Shades Of Pacifica9 months ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
She felt Anger at her parents for still being disapproving of her new path. She felt Fear in the possibility of falling back in to her old habits, sometimes it seemed like a balancing act when she tried to be nicer. She felt Remorse for the actions she committed in her past, in retrospect even she couldn't believe some of the things she did (she made a mental note to give Mabel a certain Party Crown back). She felt Happy in that she was actually becoming a better person, it felt good.
And the last one, the strongest one, involved a boy, a boy who the old Pacifica wouldn't have given a second thought to. Dipper Pines. The boy changed her life for the better giving her hope for the future. He made her a nicer person...which was why both her parents forbid her from seeing him, so naturally, they saw each other no
Nursery Rhymes, Writer StyleJack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of waterNursery Rhymes, Writer Style3 years ago in Settings More Like This
Then I appeared and struck such fear as I began my slaughter.
I held them down and they did frown as I tossed aside their pail
And I gloat, I slit their throat and threw them down the well.
Now I'm done, well that was fun, the well I then looked down
Don't be sad, it's not as bad as if he'd broke his crown.
So then I walked on through the woods, and noticed at my feet
A trail of bread, led up ahead to a house that smelled so sweet.
When I approached it, in the air was a familiar smell
The smell of burning flesh was there, you know I can just tell.
I looked inside and to my surprise i saw two little kids
I saw them cooking an old hag, they watched her burn within.
I nodded in approval, they're fine without me here
So I walked along and sang a song to find out something near.
I heard a soft-like humming, and smelled out something good
So I looked out through the forest, and spotted a red hood
Following her from behind appeared a wo
What is Love?What is love?What is Love?3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Seriously I wanna know!
Is it that heart-stopping, woozy feeling I get
Whenever I see or hear Axl Rose?
The little girly squeals I do
Whenever I hear the name Shawn Michaels?
The little "bunny-hop" I do in excitement
When I see Triple H on screen?
People say that's called infatuation
Personally I think that love is real
But what do I know?
Or....is it that feeling
I get whenever I see them?
The feeling of happiness
The feeling of wanting to be around that person more
Of not wanting them to leave
Of sadness vanishing whenever they are around
Of laughter, fights, anger, love and hate?
Of never getting enough of their presence
Is that love?
I do know someone like that
They are my world and hopefully
I am their world
They make me smile and laugh
Make me angry and cry
They listen to me and are sympathetic
I'm that way to them too
Not exactly a boy
But not exactly a girl either
So am I straight or gay?
That is however you think I am.
I might be
F.A.C.T.S. About M.K. MoonThree: I will never post a self-portrait or 'selfie'. Though I never really care about how I look pictures (especially taken by myself) makes me feel ultra self conscious and make me feel ugly.(Please do not tell me I'm not ugly. I've gotten over that phase. It's just a feeling and I can't help that.) DO NOT try to be like some people on Tumblr (Not you any of my D.A. friends) who tried to pressure me into taking selifes. Unlike my D.A. friends they just could not accept the fact that I DO NOT WANT/LIKE TO TAKE PICTURES OF MYSELF. They honestly thought sending me anonymous messages demanding a selfie would work. It just made me paranoid and despise Tumblr even more than I already do.F.A.C.T.S. About M.K. Moon2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Four: I'm a classic rock fan. Please do not try to say 'One Direction is better111!!' or whatever. I not only will not care about your opinion I'll delete your comment. Plain and simple.
As solid as a WilsonAs solid as a WilsonAs solid as a Wilson4 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Gregory House limped away from the remains that once were his motorbike. There were flames and smoke everywhere that made his vision blurry. He tried to get away from the danger. Danger. Hah. Gregory House didn't know what danger was, he thought bitterly to himself. He sighed as he sat down in the grass. When he looked at his motorbike, he wondered how he actually got there. It seemed like ages ago he was pulling pranks on Wilson
'Morning sunshine.' House said cheerfully when Wilson came in, still wearing his pyjamas. 'Morning' Wilson grunted back. Dark rings under his eyes showed signs of the long nights at the hospital, the many patients and relatives he had to comfort and the pain he had to see every day. 'So, any plans for today?' House asked while he held out a mock with coffee to his friend. 'House, please, not this morning, I'm tired. I had the worst night ev.. What is that?!' He spat out his coffee, midsentence, with a disgusted look. He wiped
Happy ThanksgivingIn America, around this time today (1700 hours EST) many families have either gorged themselves on succulent feasts or are wondering if that damned turkey is ever going to thaw out. Burned rolls are greeted at the table with accepting smiles, and Aunt Mildred's mincemeat pie has once again befuddled the family as to what it's actually made of.Happy Thanksgiving7 years ago in Historical More Like This
Yes, America is once again celebrating that long ago event when Arnold Schwartenegger returned from the future and tried to kill us all and was soundly defeated. No wait... I'm being told it's a celebration steeped in more mystery than that. It observes the successful first winter harvest of our Pilgrim forefathers, foremothers, and foreoffspring way back in 1921. No, sorry... 1621.
The traditional story goes that boatloads of puritan British settlers braved the stormy Atlantic hoping for a new life free from religious persecution. They made landfall in what is now New England, whe
Elf vs. Orc 5Sings-to-Trees's primary thought through the whole violent encounter was Not the throat again!Elf vs. Orc 59 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
His neck hurt. He felt like a troll had used his esophagus as a dance floor. This could not be healthy. If he lived through this, he swore he would be nice to his throat for the rest of the year. Hot teas. Scarfs during winter. Anything.
For awhile, he didn't think he was going to live to see sunrise, let alone winter.
Then she'd apologized. The orc had stood there, with a distinctly sheepish expression on her face, and she'd apologized.
None of his patients ever apologized. Most of them couldn't talk, and it didn't seem to occur to the ones who could.
Half of him wanted to reply automatically—No, it's okay, these things happen, don't worry about it—and the other half was jumping up and down screaming You just tried to kill me, you green-faced lunatic! You can't just apologize for trying to kill people!
Perhaps fortunately, his throat was aching too badly
Elf vs. Orc 9Sings-to-Trees' head shot up. He knew Fleabane's barks like the back of his hand. Short, rapid barks, not grating, hysterical ones--somewhere between a greeting and a warning. Fleabane knew the person approaching, but he didn't really like them.Elf vs. Orc 99 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
That meant it was either one of the humans from down the road (excepting Matilda, who brought cheeses and always had a tidbit for a hungry coyote) or the rangers.
"Shit!" Sings-to-Trees leapt to his feet and began kicking Celadon's armor under the bed, followed by the extra blankets.
Celadon got unsteadily to her feet. "What is it?"
"Company. Might be rangers."
She could have asked questions, like "Are you going to turn me in?" or "Why are you panicking, if they're your people?" but Celadon was not inclined to waste time on stupid questions. She looked around hurriedly for a hiding place.
Sings-to-Trees caught her elbow. "Do you trust me?"
"Does it matter?"
"I suppose not."
Getting her into the hiding place was awkward, but Celadon took it in s
Elf vs. Orc 7This was easier said than done.Elf vs. Orc 79 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
She gave him some very practical suggestions about how to tie the ropes. A bit of slack between the feet, enough to shuffle, not enough to run. A rope around the neck as a kind of leash in case she attacked him. He could tell she'd done this sort of thing before.
Sings-to-Trees, at that point, would have been happy just untying her completely and pointing her in the direction of the outhouse, but he had a horrible feeling he'd disappoint her if he didn't at least try to hold up his end. So he steeled himself to stay awake a bit longer and got the ropes set up, and hauled her out of the bed.
Then she wound up needing to use him as a crutch anyway, since her knees kept buckling, so it was a bit of a moot point.
"Can you hold this?" he asked, handing her the leash rope after a few brutal hops toward the door.
"What if I try to escape?"
He sighed. "Just yank it if you feel yourself getting any ideas."
She started laughing, then they took another step and the
Elf vs. Orc 6He got a nasty start a few hours later, when he came in to check on her.Elf vs. Orc 69 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
He'd tied her hands, her feet, thrown a loop or two around her waist, and roped everything to the bed, the chair, and the fire iron, just for good measure, He'd done everything short of hog-tying. She wasn't going to get loose in a hurry.
He wasn't sure why he was bothering, really, since he had a horrible feeling that if she said "Will you untie me?" he might do it, and if she said "please," he'd definitely do it.
Still, she didn't seem to be a threat conscious, so maybe that was okay.
Then, because his feelings were still churning and there was nothing for emotional turmoil like hard work, he'd gone off, fed the chickens and the gargoyle, picked peas, turned the compost heap, washed his hands and made soup. By the end, he was really quite exhausted, and ready for at least a nap in his chair.
Then he came back in to discover that her fever had vanished and she was shivering violently with cold.
Elf vs. Orc 2Celadon Toadstool was delirious.Elf vs. Orc 29 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
The funny bit—uproariously funny, it seemed to her—was that she knew she was delirious. The world was billowing around her. It looked as if someone had meticulously painted the inside of a cottage on silk, and then hung it in a gentle breeze. The corners floated inward and collapsed back out again with a sigh.
That someone would go to all that trouble, painting a cottage on silk, was hilarious.
She knew she was wounded. She couldn't quite remember how she'd been wounded. Imagine not remembering a thing like that!
This also struck her as hilarious.
Her name, in Orcish, was Urrsharruk-gah, and she had skin the delicate gray-green of the gills of cave mushrooms, and eyes the color of stolen gold. Her hair was thick and dark and she wore it tucked under her helmet to keep enemies from being able to grab it, which was problematic, because she'd lost her helmet somewhere along the way, and she wasn't in the best of shape anyway.
Even in her immense good humor
Not so humble beginningsWhat kind of heartless animals pick on a poor defenseless child?Not so humble beginnings5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
It was a sad scene to behold; two or three children ganging up on one child- throwing rocks at him. Laughing at him. Calling him a crybaby. All that he could do was protect himself as best as he could as he continued to cry, and as they chanted their same song over and over again; calling him 'Crybaby Chris'.
This, for the most part, was how Chris' life faired. Everyday after school, he would be encountered by these bullies as he walked home. They'd call him names, push him around, throw rocks at him, get bored, then leave. Satisfied with their self-musings.
Today, they were especially ruthless to poor Chris. This time, they brought sticks to poke him with. All just for the satisfaction of making him cry. And, oh, how he tried his hardest not to cry. But every time, without fail, they would get him to do it. He would wail as loud as he could. He would sob and sob and sob. When he began to sob, they started laughing- proud
The Curious and Peculiar Tale of the Simonov TwinsThe Curious and Peculiarly Tragic Tale of the Simonov TwinsThe Curious and Peculiar Tale of the Simonov Twins2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I have done most of my post-doctorate work alongside Dean Eroslide as he ran Harry Loaine School for Boys. It was a tiny little establishment, set up in a series of pathways and cottages that made up the dormitories and the 'holistic' and 'traditional', designed to accommodate Dean Eroslide's philosophy of natural living: 'clean and untouched life energy regulates all chakras and promotes a positive educational environment'. Needless to say, Harry Loaine School for Boys was a parent's last resort, when everything from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to Interventions and to Involuntary Hospitalization was never enough. The Dean had no degree of any sort other than a few licenses for Chakra healing and Reiki, so the entirety of the upkeep of the facility remained on the shoulders of these desperate parents--and of course the government kickbacks the School received for keeping me as a full time Child Psychologist
Sex is...Sex is sacred,Sex is...3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Sex is dirty.
Sex is bodies driving against each other for pleasure,
For reproduction, for love, for need.
For desire and lust, and want and passion.
Sex is something that every human wants to do,
Needs to do,
Sex is the driving force behind our minds,
Pushing us forward and preserving us in time.
Fucking and loving, caressing and holding.
Tongues moving together and folding
Bodies against bodies, and sex against sex.
Sex is the want, sex is the need.
To push together and forward, spilling the seed.
Sex is beautiful, sex is rough.
Sex is grinding and moaning
Sex is gentle and moving.
Sex makes us cry, sex makes us laugh.
Sex is a secret, hidden away,
Sex is a pleasure, brought out to play
For new life or for fun, sex will be had
And if you don't like it, well that's too bad.
A Very WWE HalloweenA lot of the WWE's finest Superstars were looking forward to their Halloween costume party of 2012.A Very WWE Halloween3 years ago in Humor More Like This
The party began at 9:35 pm. Everyone who mattered in the WWE was present.
John Cena was talking with Alicia Fox. His costume was a very convincing Superman outfit, which Alicia was laughing at. She, meanwhile, was dressed as a sexy fox (haha). She had the tail, and the ears, and everything.
Dolph Ziggler was there, but wasn't really dressed in costume. He just wore his ring T-shirt and a pair of pink sunglasses. Vickie Guererro approached said man, wearing a very small outfit that resembled Catwoman, except she didn't have the body for it. But she did, however, have the personality to match.
The Miz was wearing a very cute fireman's outfit. He was speaking with Cody Rhodes. Cody tried convincing Damien to go, but the scholar would not have it. The one half of Team Rhodes Scholars kept saying how it would be good for Damien if he went to his first WWE Halloween Costume
THE Zombie Survival Guide*This part is for newbies. Skip down to the dashes if you already know this stuff.*THE Zombie Survival Guide4 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Okay, so first of all, a zombie is a reanimated corpse that lurches around looking for human flesh. Different breeds may be reasoned with, or even "cured" back to the original personality. However, the most typical zombies:
-Are incoherent. They will not be reasoned with or threatened.
-They don't sleep.
-They seem to like brains, but most will settle for a nice hunk of your flesh.
-The come in different speeds, from crawling to shambling to running. Most are shambling along at a slow slow walk.
-They do not drown or asphyxiate.
-Some will burn easily while others will not burn at all.
-Most zombies will "die" from severe damage to the head.
-It is said they are attracted by sound, but this varies.
-VERY IMPORTANT: The most dangerous thing about zombies is that if they bite you and you die before your brain is destroyed, you will come back to life as ANOTHER ZOMBIE. That's how they spread their numbers
Ember Island Can Change YouEmber Island Can Change You3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Ember Island Can Change You.
I don't know why but I feel something amazing is going to happen today. The minute I jumped out of bed I had a really good feeling. I'm Leah Fierre, I live on Ember Island and I'm 16. I have black hair and golden eyes. I'm a firebender in training, actually. My brother's name is Chan and Ruon-Jian. They are practically a bunch of spoiled brats. I'm the youngest of them, and the most mature. My dad's an admiral. He's been on leave for two months so my parents went for vacation.
I can't believe I'm being forced to go to the beach with them. They're so popular, it's so annoying, and they think they're so great.
"I hate you guys." I muttered as I followed them along the beach.
"Aww, we love you too, little sis. " Ruon-Jian ruffled my hair as if I were a little girl.
"Oh suck it up, Leah! We got a party tonight so we have to do this." Chan sighed.
"You have to do this!" I folded my arms across my chest.
I was wearing a red swimsuit, since red was my
The 12 Days of HiddlesmasThe 12 days HiddlesmasThe 12 Days of Hiddlesmas3 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
On the 1st day of Christmas Hiddles Gave to me. A Mustache named Wendy.
On the 2nd day of Christmas Hiddles Gave to me. 2 cans of Peanuts and a Mustache named Wendy.
On the 3rd Day of Christmas Hiddles Gave to me. 3 Kneeling bitches 2 cans of peanuts and a mustache named Wendy.
On the 4th day of Christmas Hiddles gave to me. 4 cups of Decaf 3 kneeling bitches 2 cans of peanuts and a mustache named Wendy.
On the 5th day of Christmas Hiddles gave to me. 5 Tesseracts 4 cups of Decaf 3 kneeling bitches 2 cans of peanuts and a mustache named Wendy.
On the 6th day of Christmas Hiddles gave to me. 6 Quims a Mewling 5 Tesseracts 4 cups of Decaf 3 Kneeling bitches 2 cans a peanuts and Mustache named Wendy.
On the 7th day of Christmas Hiddles gave to me. 7 'staches a twirling 6 Quims a Mewling 5 Tesseracts 4 cups of Decaf 3 kneeling bitches 2 cans of peanuts and a mustache named Wendy
On the 8th day of Christmas Hiddles gave to me. 8 Hulks a ragdolling 7 'staches a twirlin
What I Learned at SRU -97-What I Learned at SRU -97-3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
A/N: Blablabla, spiritual mumbo-jumbo, something about me not being happy with how most of this turned out but I've got to try setting up the conclusion to this crime-drama-lite dealio going on.
What I Learned at SRU
Chapter 97 - Big Girls
- Monday, May 16th, 2011 -
"But...-" Aang paused for a moment, letting his pen drop onto his notebook's page. He folded his hands together in front of his lips, elbows propped on the table, and stared intently at his red-headed friend. "Dropping out? Are you...sure that's a good idea?"
Jane, eyes glued to her biology textbook, referenced a page and scribbled an answer on a worksheet.
"Just thinkin' maybe I don't belong here anymore..." Jane mumbled out, not looking up from her work. Aang studied her stoic face, putting the together some details he hadn't added up until just now. Jane looked healthy, well-rested, her hair was clean and brushed. She was wearing jeans and a plain white T-shirt. No boots, no belt, no h
Reader and Thor Chapter 2"Oh thank you [name], I am most gracious." Thor grabbed my hand and kissed the back of it, causing me to blush even more. Maybe this could work, maybe it could, I whispered to myself.Reader and Thor Chapter 23 years ago in Romance More Like This
Thor and I talked for a while. He told me about how he lived on Asgard all his life with his brother Loki. Loki and him use to be close and always play together, but sometimes would fight a lot. Thor always thought Loki was a little different but looked past it and tried to be the best brother ever. He explained to me how as they got older Loki started to envy him more and more just wanting to be his equal. After a close encounter with the frost giants, Loki finally found out that he was no Odin son, but a Laufy son. Loki had finally lost it and tried to take over Asgard and destroy Midgard. Thor and his brother fought for days until Thor plead for the fighting to stop but Loki wouldn't listen. Loki then tricked Thor and attacked him from behind and then he passed out.
I was speechless. I could tell that
ReunitedReunited5 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Janine felt her heart beat louder with every step she took towards that ominously tall apartment building. She'd heard the explosions; she'd seen the skies clearing. People were saying on the news that it was all over, she hoped to god they were right. Despite the change in the weather and the television, she still was filled with terror for Egon. So many things could have happened to him. Her thoughts and grotesque imaginings of what those things could be were soon cut short when she was swallowed by the crowd of onlookers. They all jostling to get a better look at their heroes, she barely noticed the sights and sounds around her, all she could think of was Egon. She caught a glimpse of Peter making out with their first client, what a surprise. At least he was safe, filthy and bedraggled, but safe. All at once, Janine stepped in something that nearly tripped her, holding fast to her shoe, she looked down. Her foot was caught in a puddle of white gooey substance that by the sm
Pray for the United Arab EmiratesThe United Arab Emirates (UAE) is a country in the Middle East.Pray for the United Arab Emirates4 years ago in Profiles More Like This
It is located on the southeast part of the Arabian Peninsula on the Persian Gulf.
It is bordered by Oman, and Saudi Arabia.
It shares sea borders with Iraq, Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, and Iran.
The capital is Abu Dhabi.
The population is over 8 million.
The UAE is a federation of seven Emirates (equivalent to principalities):
Each emirate is governed by a hereditary emir.
The entire federation is led by a national president.
About 80% of the population are expatriates, many of South Asian origin.
The Burj Khalifa skyskraper in Dubai is the tallest building in the world.
23% Arab expatriates
50% South Asian expatriates
8% Other expatriates (Includes Westerners and East Asians)
10% Other (Hindu, Buddhist, Sikh)