Nursery Rhymes, Writer StyleJack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of waterNursery Rhymes, Writer Style2 years ago in Settings More Like This
Then I appeared and struck such fear as I began my slaughter.
I held them down and they did frown as I tossed aside their pail
And I gloat, I slit their throat and threw them down the well.
Now I'm done, well that was fun, the well I then looked down
Don't be sad, it's not as bad as if he'd broke his crown.
So then I walked on through the woods, and noticed at my feet
A trail of bread, led up ahead to a house that smelled so sweet.
When I approached it, in the air was a familiar smell
The smell of burning flesh was there, you know I can just tell.
I looked inside and to my surprise i saw two little kids
I saw them cooking an old hag, they watched her burn within.
I nodded in approval, they're fine without me here
So I walked along and sang a song to find out something near.
I heard a soft-like humming, and smelled out something good
So I looked out through the forest, and spotted a red hood
Following her from behind appeared a wo
What Fools You Mortals BeAnd then they all got chased by some killer bees.What Fools You Mortals Be5 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
And then Toni was actually the Giant Hulking Lungfish of Lake Oblongata that was stealing children's brains.
And then Veser became Czar of all of Russia and decreed that everyone should own a pet shark.
And then Conrad flew to the moon and started a colony of immortal chocolate Easter bunnies that would one day take over the world.
And then Hanna and his zombie friend said, "Screw this stupid Victorian Age!" and traveled to the future using a time machine built by Doc Worth which created a tear in the fabric of time and space effectively destroying the universe for all eternity.
And that's why bananas grow on trees.
1000 Fluffy Labcoat BatsConbat paced bloodily back and forth. Rotten dread filled his heart. Worth should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my delicious love, Conbat thought. Where could you be?1000 Fluffy Labcoat Bats5 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Worth had been taken hostage by Fluffy Fang, a supervillain who had the city in a state of charming terror. Conbat fainted dead away, like a beautiful unicorn in an iridescent negligee.
When he came to, there was a bump on his wing and the rotten dread had returned. "Worth, my filthy honey bunny," he cried out absurdly. "What is Fluffy Fang doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing pervishly as he licked him in the hair.
In the midst of all the terror and tears, Conbat remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 fluffy labcoat bats, then whatever you wish for will come true.
Conbat ordered in a supply of fluffy labcoats and set to work, folding bats until his wing was sore and he could hardly see. It took
What is Love?What is love?What is Love?2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Seriously I wanna know!
Is it that heart-stopping, woozy feeling I get
Whenever I see or hear Axl Rose?
The little girly squeals I do
Whenever I hear the name Shawn Michaels?
The little "bunny-hop" I do in excitement
When I see Triple H on screen?
People say that's called infatuation
Personally I think that love is real
But what do I know?
Or....is it that feeling
I get whenever I see them?
The feeling of happiness
The feeling of wanting to be around that person more
Of not wanting them to leave
Of sadness vanishing whenever they are around
Of laughter, fights, anger, love and hate?
Of never getting enough of their presence
Is that love?
I do know someone like that
They are my world and hopefully
I am their world
They make me smile and laugh
Make me angry and cry
They listen to me and are sympathetic
I'm that way to them too
Not exactly a boy
But not exactly a girl either
So am I straight or gay?
That is however you think I am.
I might be
Kaiju Creepypasta: Baradagi Part 3: the Giant ClawKaiju Creepypasta: Baradagi Part 3: the Giant Claw2 years ago in Horror More Like This
I pointed over to the tape on top of the pile. It was completely unmarked, as were the rest. “Let’s check that one out first, shall we?” I asked.
“Fair enough.” Mumbled Arthur. He quietly popped the first tape out, and went into the next room, returning in a minute with a piece of masking tape and a sharpie. He slapped some tape on the edge of the cassette, and scrawled something on it before showing it to me. It read “B-Garasharp”
“The ‘B’ he explained, “marks proof of Baradagi. We might put something else on the tapes if more patterns pop up that we notice.”
I shook my head. “More patterns? You got any coffee, Red Bull, Mountain Dew? This could be a long night…”
He strode into the other room, but was back in a moment with several massive bottles of Mountain Dew in his hands and a big grin on his face. “There’s plenty more where those came from.” he chuckled as he set them in f
F.A.C.T.S. About M.K. MoonThree: I will never post a self-portrait or 'selfie'. Though I never really care about how I look pictures (especially taken by myself) makes me feel ultra self conscious and make me feel ugly.(Please do not tell me I'm not ugly. I've gotten over that phase. It's just a feeling and I can't help that.) DO NOT try to be like some people on Tumblr (Not you any of my D.A. friends) who tried to pressure me into taking selifes. Unlike my D.A. friends they just could not accept the fact that I DO NOT WANT/LIKE TO TAKE PICTURES OF MYSELF. They honestly thought sending me anonymous messages demanding a selfie would work. It just made me paranoid and despise Tumblr even more than I already do.F.A.C.T.S. About M.K. Moon2 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Four: I'm a classic rock fan. Please do not try to say 'One Direction is better111!!' or whatever. I not only will not care about your opinion I'll delete your comment. Plain and simple.
Editorial DecisionEdward, you LEECH!Editorial Decision6 years ago in Humor More Like This
Youre a stinking DOG, Jacob!
Then the two fell upon each other, snarling and biting, ripping at each others clothes, then flesh. Jacob was the first to clutch Edwards penis and slide it into his mouth, chomping down. Edward followed suit, grasping Jacobs
I tossed the manuscript on my desk before I tossed my cookies. This was hopeless. This was also the best work Id received yet for the newspaper writing contest. I rubbed my eyes, trying to think up yet another new, polite way to say you so utterly suck.
So? What do you think?
I looked up at the writer responsible for this masterpiece. Mrs. Muldoon was a deacon in our church, and had fallen inexplicably hard for Ms.Meyers vampire wiles. I was as mystified as anyone, I suppose.
As solid as a WilsonAs solid as a WilsonAs solid as a Wilson4 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Gregory House limped away from the remains that once were his motorbike. There were flames and smoke everywhere that made his vision blurry. He tried to get away from the danger. Danger. Hah. Gregory House didn't know what danger was, he thought bitterly to himself. He sighed as he sat down in the grass. When he looked at his motorbike, he wondered how he actually got there. It seemed like ages ago he was pulling pranks on Wilson
'Morning sunshine.' House said cheerfully when Wilson came in, still wearing his pyjamas. 'Morning' Wilson grunted back. Dark rings under his eyes showed signs of the long nights at the hospital, the many patients and relatives he had to comfort and the pain he had to see every day. 'So, any plans for today?' House asked while he held out a mock with coffee to his friend. 'House, please, not this morning, I'm tired. I had the worst night ev.. What is that?!' He spat out his coffee, midsentence, with a disgusted look. He wiped
Writer's BlockI first met Alistair Creaux at WritersCon '97, and from the first words he uttered to me in a drunken slur I knew he was destined for greatness: Sometimes I get an idea and it's so so sweet I'll just ride it like a buckin bronc and donkey-punch that fucker.Writer's Block4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
I'd nodded sagely, not quite understanding but impressed by his zeal. Once I'd actually read Creaux's work it all made sense. Wonderful, crazy sense. He wrote like a combination of Hunter S. Thompson, William Burroughs, and Stephen King. Epic storytelling, accessible to the common man, but shot through with Deeper Meaning for those willing to delve.
His fame skyrocketed since I'd discovered him. He was BorderHouse's number one draw; every book pre-sold by the millions as soon as it was announced, anticipated by rabid fans (Creauxians, they called themselves) and lovingly dissected on numerous internet fan sites around the world. Two of his books had beco
I Feel Fine Chp. 9I Feel Fine Chp. 94 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
It's a good thing we left early because by the time we arrived, the place was filled with screaming Beatle maniacs trying to meet their future 'husbands'. Luckily, some of the policemen managed to keep them back. We snuck in through the back of the place, dragging in all the equipment behind us. Trust me, not fun, especially when you practically have a death by cymbal.
Paul and John carried cases which held their guitars. The two walked through the door first, followed by Ringo. He was carrying the snare drum and ride cymbal. I was right behind him helping out by lifting an amp. George was last, with another one of Ringo's cymbals.
Being in between the two of them kind of frightened me. George leaned forward to taunt me. "Don't drop the amp, Laur." He gave a slight grin, baring his tiny fangs. Neither of the boys could see this, but my cheeks got a little red.
I turned to him walking through the doorway. Then I commented, "I won't! Ow!" I hit the cymbal he was hauling with my head. Tot
I Feel Fine Chp. 6I Feel Fine Chp. 64 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
It was starting to get dark, and we all left the ice cream shop, trying to avoid any more photo shoots with the fans. It took FOREVER just waiting for Ringo and some of the other boys to finish up. I didn't even start talking to some of them until we left that it was so bad. Not to mention some girls were attempting to follow us out the door, or at least keep me from leaving. One of them managed to scrape my left arm. Talk about jealous.
We were waiting for John to get a cab over, as we all were talking. "Lauren, is your arm alright? I noticed that some of the girls got rough with you," Paul said concerned of me.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied looking at my arm. It was bleeding a bit and a little swollen. Then, I covered it with my hand so no one would worry.
"Really? Then why are you covering it with your hand?" John asked being nosy. He looked back to the streets to get a cab to take us back to the hotel.
"I always do this," I replied.
"Not when you have shopping bags with you," Ringo s
Happy ThanksgivingIn America, around this time today (1700 hours EST) many families have either gorged themselves on succulent feasts or are wondering if that damned turkey is ever going to thaw out. Burned rolls are greeted at the table with accepting smiles, and Aunt Mildred's mincemeat pie has once again befuddled the family as to what it's actually made of.Happy Thanksgiving6 years ago in Historical More Like This
Yes, America is once again celebrating that long ago event when Arnold Schwartenegger returned from the future and tried to kill us all and was soundly defeated. No wait... I'm being told it's a celebration steeped in more mystery than that. It observes the successful first winter harvest of our Pilgrim forefathers, foremothers, and foreoffspring way back in 1921. No, sorry... 1621.
The traditional story goes that boatloads of puritan British settlers braved the stormy Atlantic hoping for a new life free from religious persecution. They made landfall in what is now New England, whe
ReunitedReunited4 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Janine felt her heart beat louder with every step she took towards that ominously tall apartment building. She'd heard the explosions; she'd seen the skies clearing. People were saying on the news that it was all over, she hoped to god they were right. Despite the change in the weather and the television, she still was filled with terror for Egon. So many things could have happened to him. Her thoughts and grotesque imaginings of what those things could be were soon cut short when she was swallowed by the crowd of onlookers. They all jostling to get a better look at their heroes, she barely noticed the sights and sounds around her, all she could think of was Egon. She caught a glimpse of Peter making out with their first client, what a surprise. At least he was safe, filthy and bedraggled, but safe. All at once, Janine stepped in something that nearly tripped her, holding fast to her shoe, she looked down. Her foot was caught in a puddle of white gooey substance that by the sm
Quick the DonkeyQuick the Donkey9 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
The donkey's name was Quick.
His front hooves were neat and dexterous and opposable, and his back hooves were the size of dinner plates and had unassuming steel shoes. He had a pale grey hide and pale pink nostrils, and ears like enormous fringed fans, and if you lifted up his cowl far enough, you would find large, slightly worried brown eyes, with the devastatingly long eyelashes reserved for beauty queens and large ungulates. He was a small, neat-footed donkey who kept his elbows tucked in and could vanish into a crowd much more easily than a bipedal donkey wearing a yellow robe with checkerboard edging had any right to do.
He had a goldfish in a plastic bag. She was a small, neat-finned goldfish with kinder eyes than are usual among fish. Quick was only guessing about the "she" pronoun. He wasn't sure how to tell the difference, or if it mattered one way or the other. Well, it probably mattered to another goldfish. He wasn't sure if the kindness of the goldfish's eyes was really the
The Language of Mom- JoshieI don't know about your family, but my family has its own language. No, scratch that. My MOM has her own language. We all speak it pretty fluently, so I took the liberty of preparing a crash course in the Language of Mom.The Language of Mom- Joshie7 years ago in Biography & Memoir More Like This
You've Got Another Thing Coming:
definition: You would do well to never speak in my presence again. Go to your room right now before I actually DO give you another thing coming.
usage: "If you think I was put on this earth to pay your parking tickets, you have got another thing coming, Lindsay Christine Brooks."
Young Lady/Young Man:
definition: You are in an unbelievable amount of trouble. You are about to endure a lecture so long that I may well have another child before it is over. Sit down and shut your mouth.
usage: "Where in Heaven's name were you, young lady?"
What Were You THINKING:
definition: This is a trick question. There is only one acceptable answer: absolute silence. Hanging your head is good. Giggling is a death sentence.
usage: "You were gone for five
Elf vs. Orc 5Sings-to-Trees's primary thought through the whole violent encounter was Not the throat again!Elf vs. Orc 59 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
His neck hurt. He felt like a troll had used his esophagus as a dance floor. This could not be healthy. If he lived through this, he swore he would be nice to his throat for the rest of the year. Hot teas. Scarfs during winter. Anything.
For awhile, he didn't think he was going to live to see sunrise, let alone winter.
Then she'd apologized. The orc had stood there, with a distinctly sheepish expression on her face, and she'd apologized.
None of his patients ever apologized. Most of them couldn't talk, and it didn't seem to occur to the ones who could.
Half of him wanted to reply automatically—No, it's okay, these things happen, don't worry about it—and the other half was jumping up and down screaming You just tried to kill me, you green-faced lunatic! You can't just apologize for trying to kill people!
Perhaps fortunately, his throat was aching too badly
Shin Contest Part 1 ~ [Infinity]Shin Contest Part 1 ~ [Infinity]3 years ago in Sci-Fi More Like This
"Lo, Mothra saw the burning rubble left by the unknown intruder, whose very presence offended the Earth, causing unnatural imbalances. The Invader had come to serve its purpose, and disappeared just as quickly. But the destruction it left was monumental...but somehow familiar, only exponentially greater.
Suddenly - Mothra's wings went limp and her blood ran cold. Some unknown force - greater than Gravity itself - had completely grounded her. As she fell - she managed to use the last of her strength to turn herself around. From the ground, she saw a dark figure. She realized that the invader was still there!
She watched its form descend with each beat of its six monstrous wings. The sight of it filled the Peaceful Deity with terror, and she realized why; the Weight of its power had brought her to the ground!!! And then something
Lovely Flirts "Viola, you're ignoring me."Lovely Flirts1 year ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
"I am not."
"Viola, I love you."
"I'm sure you do."
"Viola, I need you."
"Yeah, of course."
"Your hair is so pretty."
"I'm sure it is."
"So long and lovely."
"Not really, you know."
"All red and wavy."
"More frizzy, it's true."
"Viola, why are you acting this way?"
"Viola, don't ignore me."
"I'm not trying to."
"Viola, you love me."
"So we say."
"You make my day."
"A whole lot worse, I'm sure."
"But, Viola I care."
"All you do is stare."
"Viola, I can't help it."
"It's not normal."
Elf vs. Orc 9Sings-to-Trees' head shot up. He knew Fleabane's barks like the back of his hand. Short, rapid barks, not grating, hysterical ones--somewhere between a greeting and a warning. Fleabane knew the person approaching, but he didn't really like them.Elf vs. Orc 98 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
That meant it was either one of the humans from down the road (excepting Matilda, who brought cheeses and always had a tidbit for a hungry coyote) or the rangers.
"Shit!" Sings-to-Trees leapt to his feet and began kicking Celadon's armor under the bed, followed by the extra blankets.
Celadon got unsteadily to her feet. "What is it?"
"Company. Might be rangers."
She could have asked questions, like "Are you going to turn me in?" or "Why are you panicking, if they're your people?" but Celadon was not inclined to waste time on stupid questions. She looked around hurriedly for a hiding place.
Sings-to-Trees caught her elbow. "Do you trust me?"
"Does it matter?"
"I suppose not."
Getting her into the hiding place was awkward, but Celadon took it in s
Fan Fictions Shouldn'tTo meFan Fictions Shouldn't2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A fan fiction should not be "perfect"
Now there is such thing as a well written fan fiction
But to me
Fan fictions can't be perfect
They're a writer's practice
A writer's way of learning
Learning how to write
How to spread our wings and grow
How to express emotions
Like anger, sadness, and happiness!~
How to describe
To paint a pictue in the reader's head
They shouldn't be perfect
Whether it's grammar
Where the " " s go
They help writers learn what to do
And what not to do!
It's all part of a writer's job
Perfection is only seen
That are published
Like The Garden of Eve
The Harry Potter series
Percy Jackson and the Olympians
The Hunger Games
Even To Kill A Mockingbird
And Catcher in the Rye
Perfection is only for stories
Fan fictions on the other hand
Are the stepping stones
On a writer's watery path
To writing literary
DPMGB Chapter 07Author's Notes: This story is a crossover of two franchises with some minor changes in timeline and I ask the reader who may not know either franchise or both to just sit back; play some tunes and enjoy the story.DPMGB Chapter 073 years ago in Humor More Like This
Danny Phantom Meets the Ghostbusters
The Ghostbusters walked out Amity's city hall and walked down the steps to the Ecto-1 with umbrellas.
"You know, I'm thinking it was a bad idea to come. I mean look at the files this guy has on ghosts; pirate ghost kid, a hypnotizing rock n roll ghost, a ghost dog, and a box full of psycho spooks" Winston said looking over a few files in a box Vlad gave them.
"True, but this one box he gave me is just on this Phantom kid and the trouble he's caused" Peter held a huge box overflowing of papers and folders.
"Gentleman, with this information, we could finish this job in a week or two" Egon looked at his PKE Meter.
"You mean this may likely become a two week job of non-stop Ghost busting?!" Winston asked.
"Yes, isn't it exciting?!" R
Top 10: Predictions for 2010Top 10: Predictions for 2010Top 10: Predictions for 20105 years ago in Humor More Like This
10. Sequel to smash-hit 2012 movie begins filming.
9. New DeviantArt "Personal Gropes" feature implemented. Thousands disappointed when it's revealed to be merely a typo of "Groups".
8. Global Warming is confirmed a hoax when giant space heaters are discovered in Antarctica.
7. "USDA American Beef" revealed to be made from recycled homeless people. Sales are unaffected.
6. Reality to be replaced with a cunning simulation, supported by clickable ads.
5. McDonalds releases new Happy Your Ass Up Meal, laced with antidepressants.
4. eBay accidentally auctions cursed relics from Hell, opening a space-time vortex in which Stephanie Meyer is a best-selling author with two movies made from her books.
3. Pirates vs. Ninjas debate settled once and for all when Johnny Depp is cast in Ninja Assassin II: Ninjas of the Caribbean.
2. Dan Brown's latest novel I'm Just Making Shit Up Now remains #1 on the best-seller list fo
Top 10: Jesus or SupermanTop 10: Ways of Identifying Jesus or SupermanTop 10: Jesus or Superman5 years ago in Humor More Like This
10. Has returned from the dead more than once, and might possibly do so again.
9. Exploits are followed by millions of avid readers for many years.
8. Subject of painful disagreement and arguments among fans.
7. Does good works without expectation of reward.
6. Maintains a tax-free Fortress of Solitude.
5. Was sent to earth to save us all.
4. Shoots heat-beams from eyes.
3. Primary opponent is evil and prefers underground lair.
2. Native language is not English.
1. Has a superb sense of humor and would never hurt the author of a Top 10 list.
Godzilla: A Heart Ruptured (P.2)Godzilla: A Heart Ruptured (P.2)2 years ago in Sci-Fi More Like This
II: Dreams That Haunt
Heat blistered Miki’s face as flames wreathed around her like a maelstrom from hell. The air seemed baked dry, a Mercurean desert contaminated with the poison of humanity’s ill-willed creation. Her body seemed to burn but her nerves seemed so confused by what was happening that the pain dwindled into a dull sting. Miki gazed down at her hazy hands and felt her reptilian fingers clasp around one another -- half-melted pieces of flesh holding onto the dim memory of a life amidst tropical trees. She looked forward through the gray smoke and flashes of light. Fractured images of a broken dinosaur’s body lay wasted in the debris of human industry.
Little one! You mustn’t die! She felt a scream release from her radioactive maw but it merely seemed to echo behind the sound of annoying human artillery.
Miki leaned forward in an attempt to see through the smoke, but fell victim to a terrible pain in her body. An eruption of fire and ma