lesson learned.you weren't teaching me,lesson learned.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
but i learned.
i know more about what not to do,
|| || to say,
|| || to look for,
and most of all,
what to watch out for.
alone in the class room, still.
i'm not locked in,
the door's how you always had it - open for a quick getaway.
i'm just cemented in my seat,
struggling with the urge to finally leave.
my mind wanders.
sometimes imagining an epiphanic return,
and how if you did that i'd ask that this time you
What you never were.When I was fifteenWhat you never were.2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you seemed like the best kind of bad idea,
and full of half-hearted promises
scarlet tinged dreams,
for some reason I thought of you as a toy solider with a dented tin helmet.
You didn't believe in christmas
You didn't know how to have meals on kitchen tables,
but you half-smiled at me while tracing sharp edges against my neck,
I'd always liked puzzles and I thought I could put you back together again.
I don't suppose
I put up many walls to stop you
from climbing over bricks and into my bed
but I was nearly sixteen
and wanted to taste something
other than a small town waiting on a low hope future
and you seemed to have a fast track forward with the car keys glittering in your hands.
I knew your heart was coated in a hard candy shell,
but when I cracked you I didn't expect to find a hollow
leaving a sour taste in my mouth
spiking like glass shards against my tongue.
When I was fifteen
I was still expecting someone to be my he
fold into wings"i saw him again today."fold into wings5 years ago in Emotional More Like This
"and what happened?"
"my heart fell like an anchor into my stomach and my body sank like a ship onto the ground."
"are you okay?"
"i don't know."
"is he okay?"
"oh yes. he is just too beautiful and i am just ugly now. maybe in a past life i was full of his kisses and paper cranes of his arms but now i look in the mirror and think, what is this disgusting thing and why is it crying from there? and even with half a mind and half a thought i still know that something isn't quite right. and i do think i'm right about that."
"what isn't right?"
"what is? look, i have goosebumps now- it's because it's much too cold and he's much too far away. it's because i'm used to staring at my fingers and my wrists, my wrists that are encrusted with the shadow of rough hands. climbing trees to get away from his running feet. climbing towards him afterwards because i swear there's a magnetic force underneath his shirt. climbing down and up depending on how crazy i am at the time.
PersonI believe I'm not a person anymore.Person2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It seems like,
I am a stimulant for your soul.
I feel that
when you look at me you don't see
nor the spirit of a human,
and a way;
the last resource when everything's gone wrong
or when you're bored
or simply when
there's nothing else
and you want to feel like anything but
the scum of the earth.
I've stopped being a person,
now I am emotion and feeling.
I am living words
that you butcher and cook
and carry around to calm your ego
when it roars with overwhelming hunger.
Careless or Just UnawareAt First I wantedCareless or Just Unaware4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to be with her
just be with her
I craved attention,
And I thought it was friendship.
Maybe it was,
in a way
that fondness turned to desire
I craved her
like an idiot
I suffered, addicted
I look back
I stop to think,
what has our situation
come to now?
Rent me a room in your left ventricle...What good is a heart if one does notRent me a room in your left ventricle...3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Utilize its chambers
To hold stories,
To hide secrets,
To invite friends in
When they have nowhere else to go ...?
What good is the human brain
If one does not
Exercise its muscle
By solving problems,
By fixing hearts that have become to full
Or have been empty for too long?
What good is the human body
If one does not
Stretch its arms around another,
Help another up when they have fallen,
Sit with those who cannot yet stand?
What good am I
If I don't
Take your pain away
When it becomes too much for you to handle?
If I don't
Help you to see the reflection
That shows the real you?
What good are we,
Any of us,
And what good is a brain
And a heart
If nothing is meant to be shared?
Without You...The sky is darker than I remember,Without You...4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Were the stars always that far away and small?
They don't shine tonight, glowing dimmer than embers,
Was the moon always that lonely, and those trees so tall?
I'm so scared, I know I'm alone
But without you here
I feel as if the darkness of this night
Will steal my tears away
Before they can fall
Before they, too, can run away from me...
Was the night always this dark?
The noises form a giant I can't see,
But somehow still, he's chasing me.
Now there is no hand to hold,
No arm to squeeze my emotions into,
No warmth to steal into my frigid body...
Did it all disappear into the void of this night?
Admit ItI’ve seen usAdmit It3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Not “together” like two people
walking down the street
at the same time;
sharing the same breath
after sharing a kiss.
I’ve imagined what a future
would be like
if it were you and I.
We’re the types
that could keep the fire
going long after
the coals had been
burned up and become ash.
I could pick your brain
for ages, dates, and historical facts…
I don’t think I could ever get tired of you.
You don’t have to,
It would be nice you did, though…
Haven’t you ever thought the same,
even for a second?