raised by wolveshow much better that would have been; i love wolves, and they love their young. but i was raised by a lunatic narcissistic psychopath and a frigid sociopath. which leads to many interesting quandaries, the current one being my neighbor, Pamela Pearl. these types of people are not common, so most cannot recognize them. she is one. and she has everyone fooled. most realize her control issues are excessive, but they leave it at that, and chalk it up to us all having our faults. but i see her, and she does cause harm, and i have injuries to resent.
two of the things i wish to reveal are quite telling, but i must temper my wish to expose her with my concern for her daughters, because it will be plain to her where the information came from (and she will punish them, and i know what this type of person can do). somehow in spite of her, her daughters are lovely people. she forced them to vote for Hillary in the primaries. forced. went into the voting booth with them, and if they did not accede
love, i screamedit is crazy, isn't it, to sit and gush over a cart full of garbage?love, i screamed4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
is it crazy, to think that a house loves you, because it protects you like no one ever has?
to think that narcissism is the way everyone lives?
is it mad, to try to leave?
or is it the desperation of clarity?
i know we are all mad
but the levels
some seem higher
but look who's advising me
i know those neurons have been misfiring
since that first shot nicked me
and i fell
with a horrified look on my face
but while falling in slow motion
a small smile
because the ground was coming up to meet me
The Time of Your Life"Do you have the time?" He asked, matter-of-factlyThe Time of Your Life5 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
As if he weren't hanging upside down
From the branches of the maple tree next to Asbury Station.
I debated for a moment,
And pulled out my pocketwatch instead of my cell phone
To let him know that it was twenty past two, give or take.
It won me a smile, which I counted as a small victory,
And went to go about my day.
He was there the next day too, and asked me again.
"Hey, pocketwatch girl. Do you have the time?"
It was five after ten and I told him so.
He smiled again, and I told him to be careful not to fall.
The third day, I heard his voice on the way to work.
"Do you have the time?" He asked, but I was in a hurry.
I ran off with an apology on my lips
And he just nodded, sagely.
He looked pale the next day when I stopped to greet him.
"Do you have the time?" He asked gently,
But this time around I heard something there,
Urgency in his soft, raspy tones,
And I asked, "What's the hurry?"
He smiled. "I could have asked you that yesterd
MelancholiaI wish forMelancholia4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
a day that I
was not pained
by your memory,
a day when I
did not feel
was upon me.
I search for
yet it seems
a feeble attempt
at erasing that
which will never
vanish from the
depths of my mind.
and I can
You deny my
hand and I have
found a way to
reach my end
June 21st, 2010
11:1111:1111:114 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
make a wish.
on an old guitar with no A string
and the strum of makeshift chords lingering in the air
as you pretend to make music.
he thinks you're beautiful,
coaxes your fingertips as you caress the strings,
you would do anything just to feel alive:
a kiss in the middle of a crosswalk,
two bodies intertwined,
you ache for euphony,
but the notes are out of tune.
make a wish.
on a girl with sunrise eyes
and a cigarette-lighter smile,
on a boy who sold love to the smoke shop for 5.99,
on your scarred palms
with the ghosts of whispered plans come to nothing
and dreams that die beneath the whirring neon lights
to the haunting lilt of a lone violin.
make a wish.
while you lie awake,
tangled in flimsy sheets
with emptiness pulsing below your breastbone.
the moonlight is golden-sweet,
and tastes like tears
dripping down hollow cheeks,
puddling in the dimple of an upside-down smile.
your heartbeat never lies:
is not, was not, will never be.
is not, was no
seven soulfulonce upon a time, fairy tales breathed.seven soulful4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
we walked through the peppermint forests,
found gumdrop castles and gingerbread
houses. we sat in the easter grass and
cigarette smoke.dear c,cigarette smoke.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
this morning i woke up to the smell of cigarette smoke burning
the air and i thought of the nights we spent by the ocean,
sitting on the cool sand with our toes entwined. i thought of the
cigarettes dangling over our lips, the way we'd inhale as deep
as we could and every time the acrid fumes scorched our
throats and smoldered in our lungs, we'd laugh and smile
because when you're as young as we were
you can afford to die
life is cheap and love is the only thing with a price tag
i was walking through the woods and i saw a little baby bird
fall out of a nest. its scream made my ribs seize up and when
it landed, i touched its broken body, touched its little snapped
bones and ruffled feathers and cold-dead-still heart. and i
started to cry, even when the little kids pointed at me and
their parents hustled them away, because i thought maybe
if the tears landed on it right, the baby bird would get up
and fly far, far away b
In Fate's ArmsI wish I had the right amount of words,In Fate's Arms4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the proper adjectives, or nouns,
to weave sweet paragraphs
of how much I love you.
I wish I was a true poet,
or a stunning artist.
So I could maybe one day,
show you how much you mean to me.
Through a heart shattering ode,
or the perfect painting of your angelic face.
I bet there's a keeper,
of all the love in the world.
Maybe he knows,
the proper way to tell you.
Maybe he'll flip through his book,
find our names intertwined by ink.
Maybe he'll look up at me,
with a smile on his ancient lips,
one that says, "This is real love.
Don't let it slip away."
And finally, I'll be able
to put into words,
how you make me feel.
How much I adore you.
That you mean the world to me.
The entire Earth.
The moon, and Pluto, too.
That you make me want to cry,
because it hurts so much
that I can't have you.
And you make me want to make love with you,
make me want you so bad.
All in the same moment.
That my heart,
craveher secrets fellcrave4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
like raindrops on leaves
and desire rumbled
like thunder in the distance
as she whispered
through white lilies and lace
just me, trust me
though i already did
i begged for reasons
and reasons and reasons more
like thunder in the distance
as she whispered
through white lilies and lace
(i took four northbound flights
to gaze upon her northern lights
only to close my eyes
and breathe in her whisper)
A KissWhat would I give you for a kiss?A Kiss5 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
I don't have any stars,
I'm not owner of an ocean.
I haven't got my slice of heaven yet
and I don't have the pearls of the sea.
The moon is out of my league,
the sun was already taken;
I sold my soul to the devil
and the world belongs to someone else.
A poem? There're many written.
A song? I do not have much rhythm.
Should I touch you? I would never dare...
Another kiss? yeah... Possibly that.
sixty-seven percent.sixty-seven percent.sixty-seven percent.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
that's how recovered i am from
that fateful day that you left.
since you have been gone,
i have nothing but an
aching emptiness within me.
alone, i've gone through my struggles.
alone, i've endured those awful hardships.
but i am moving on.
i'm almost over you.
though, i admit, my affections
are not completely dead
everyday i get stronger,
and you become more of a blur.
my world will go on turning,
even with you being gone.
tomorrow is a new day,
a new chapter of my life.
but for now, i'm almost over you.
My Sweeti saw you in my dreams, you see.My Sweet5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you looked me in the eyes. you said:
lightning will strike, mountains will shake. the sky will cry salty tears of grief and never stop.
the earth will buck beneath you. buildings will collapse and fires will burn.
don't you know the world will end?
i saw you in my dreams, you see.
i looked you in the eyes. i said:
it matters not.
for my world ceased the instant the light left your eyes.
Caughtin the helium of a nightCaught4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
where constellations ignite
the blood-spattered atrium
of a late summer's sky,
I find myself a comet
shooting the urban grid
in an urgency as I race
a suicidal rim on two wheels
in the blackness between the fires,
my red-shifted thoughts crossing
light years out-of-body
and outliving me
till the awareness of you
slingshots me at Mach speed
to await your arrival
long before it happens,
caught at the last light
so close to my destination,
inhaling the danger of you,
where to idle the demon
begs disaster, even if the
interlude proves a watershed
by Neptune's light, I will
wish to death I had run the red
No One Needs To KnowThere's a thousand and one things I do that concern you.No One Needs To Know4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
No one needs to know, or care, but here are just a few.
How I'll wear just my jersey, the one with
your name on the back, to bed with me. Just so
that I can have a little piece of you holding me
as I fall asleep.
The way I'll smile when no one's looking because
your face is on my mind, and your name on my lips.
The way I'll reread our conversations of a hundred
"I love you"s.
The way I'll whisper "Goodnight, my love"
to no one but my bedroom walls.
How there's always more room and an extra pillow
in my bed, just for you.
The way I'll look at pictures of women, stomachs swollen
with another life just inside, and break into tears, wishing
it was me carrying your baby.
The daydreams I produce, all including you. Our wedding
day - you in a tux. Our first kiss, shared in the airport.
Making love in our bed. Our children's smiling faces.
How I want to lose my virginity to you. Have you be my
first, and my onl
EffeteYour silenceEffete4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
pulls me out
of my dream.
There is a
yet I cannot
you so wish
I cannot escape
as it approaches.
No words form
upon my lips
to cast a curse
in any tongue.
June 13th, 2010
I am soon leavingI am soon leavingI am soon leaving5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Going further than ever
where I never
I'll let the world leave
I will miss
trees grass and
birds, they stretch their wings in the trees
and the Sun
how it drips through skin
shines on the bones veins and sore
I will be graceful, penetrated by light
so someone else can come
on this deep beautiful earth
From me to you
DisenchantedDisenchantedDisenchanted5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
let's stumble barefoot til we find the stars
and extinguish those winking orbs
with the smoke of our murky breath.
let's drown our dreams
in vodka shots laced with disillusion
and hours later
vomit veracity to the pavement.
stagger through this acid trip of writhing flesh
in pursuit of that beautiful boy
who wants you
but never remembers your name.
swivel those sequin-studded hips a little, baby;
maybe he'll fuck you in the backseat,
licking alcoholic perfume from your lips,
his fingers destroying you piece by piece.
love is so overrated.
we're only young once,
so let's make a red plastic toast
to tylenol suicides
we are such fucking clichés.
the stars are just airplane-lights, really.
what more were you expecting?
He WritesHe Writes5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
He writes on surfaces; free hand, no paper or pencil,
Using an indelible pen: non-erasable.
He must write till all the walls have been covered in his spindly letters,
Filling every space with expressions and endeavours.
If only I could make his passage easier or rest that thought-filled mind.
A heart so full and driven to fill the world with more of his kind,
He will never stop until the end of life and time.
Paper, he says, confines him to a square the size of a sheet,
He'd rather press his ink to where the wood and words meet.
I'd write him a poem, but he'd write it so much better,
He'd have each phrase's meaning right down to the letter.
Such a burden on such a young soul,
His vision wavers and he's uncertain of his goal.
Silly child so young in years and old in heart,
You have decades yet to find out your part,
In life's play of time and redemption.
You'll be the making of literature; this I mention,
Because you seem in doubt of your place.
I know what I see, and I see
Surviving Love"I love you"Surviving Love4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
What a silly phrase
Everyone says it
But very few know the true meaning behind it
I guess they want to say it,
Feel like they NEED to say it,
Simply to know someone cares,
At least a little
But how can you pick the real from the fake?
That's a fact
The fakes are chipper,
While the real smile,
But it's just an act
They're dying inside
They just don't want people to know
For then they would seem weak
And they've felt weak their entire life,
Because no one knows the true dangers of love
Because no one's strong enough to talk about it
If they were,
People wouldn't long for it so much
They would run away
Far, far away
When you're in love,
It tears at your soul
It eats at your body
Consuming cell after cell
Until you can't take it anymore
You bury yourself in blankets
Not because you want to,
But because you have to
These are the people you need to fear
Who may appear weak on the outside,
AnnihilateI am tearingAnnihilate4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
down the walls
of insolence with
my fist firmly
planted at the
back of your skull.
You bleed and
but my mind is
tainted with hatred.
I break your will
as you crave release.
My glare sets your
soul aflame as you
(I am your
I am your
Messiah of pain).
On your knees,
I pull the trigger
and patiently wait
for you to expire.
Bleed for me
like you bleed
for lost life,
so many things
that no longer
bring you joy.
August 10th, 2010
insanity is futileher crooked antlers hooked his heartinsanity is futile4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
as they sat under the macintosh tree
counting the apples that would fall
with her head perched on his shoulder
she felt the world spin slowly as the
moon chased away the sun
seaside weddings cast shadows
on her train of thought, causing the
locomotive to fall off the track
she whispers dainty opinions upon his lips
that pirouette between his teeth as he grinds
them all together and swallows
her head feels like a ferris wheel
stuck at the very top, when he shares
his feelings on her china blue eyes
dreams that never left the womb
settle under the macintosh tree
counting the apples that would fall
Predictable MeNothing is certain when we are apart.Predictable Me4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Even the weather is unpredictable,
And the flame of my wanting of you flares like a lonely fire,
Amid an island empty of love.
And when I am with you everything feels fine.
Like being just where I want to be,
Everything I care to have,
Holding you close with little more than a true love in between.
So have me if you want,
Love me if you still do,
For the millions of wanting I predictably could list,
You are the only one for me.
Red LinesBlotted crimson angles,Red Lines4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Drawn with a rule of sharpened steel.
How can one behold the sight
And refrain from wondering what pain was their creator?
That pain was mine, my savior in the dark,
Thick crimson splashes breaking the blinding white.
Hidden pleasures, hush, it is a secret;
The red lines must never drip from my poppy coloured lips.
But now I look upon there faded lines of pain,
And need not hide them from all and evermore.
For I love them all dearly now with my very soul;
My painful, blotted, pretty red lines.
Stockholm SyndromeMake sure you cry into the cutsStockholm Syndrome4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Salt just makes the blood taste better
And when you go to sleep tonight
Don't forget to lock my fetters
I won't sleep-run away from you
I won't stop and tell you no
Won't question anything you do
But that doesn't mean I don't know
You won't stop for quick or dead
What good is respect anyway?
They can't stop your taunting
Just say what you wanna say
You'll live just how you want to
And you don't care at all, no
That all the pain caused by you
Hurts more than you could ever know