raised by wolveshow much better that would have been; i love wolves, and they love their young. but i was raised by a lunatic narcissistic psychopath and a frigid sociopath. which leads to many interesting quandaries, the current one being my neighbor, Pamela Pearl. these types of people are not common, so most cannot recognize them. she is one. and she has everyone fooled. most realize her control issues are excessive, but they leave it at that, and chalk it up to us all having our faults. but i see her, and she does cause harm, and i have injuries to resent.
two of the things i wish to reveal are quite telling, but i must temper my wish to expose her with my concern for her daughters, because it will be plain to her where the information came from (and she will punish them, and i know what this type of person can do). somehow in spite of her, her daughters are lovely people. she forced them to vote for Hillary in the primaries. forced. went into the voting booth with them, and if they did not accede
11:1111:1111:115 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
make a wish.
on an old guitar with no A string
and the strum of makeshift chords lingering in the air
as you pretend to make music.
he thinks you're beautiful,
coaxes your fingertips as you caress the strings,
you would do anything just to feel alive:
a kiss in the middle of a crosswalk,
two bodies intertwined,
you ache for euphony,
but the notes are out of tune.
make a wish.
on a girl with sunrise eyes
and a cigarette-lighter smile,
on a boy who sold love to the smoke shop for 5.99,
on your scarred palms
with the ghosts of whispered plans come to nothing
and dreams that die beneath the whirring neon lights
to the haunting lilt of a lone violin.
make a wish.
while you lie awake,
tangled in flimsy sheets
with emptiness pulsing below your breastbone.
the moonlight is golden-sweet,
and tastes like tears
dripping down hollow cheeks,
puddling in the dimple of an upside-down smile.
your heartbeat never lies:
is not, was not, will never be.
is not, was no
love, i screamedit is crazy, isn't it, to sit and gush over a cart full of garbage?love, i screamed5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
is it crazy, to think that a house loves you, because it protects you like no one ever has?
to think that narcissism is the way everyone lives?
is it mad, to try to leave?
or is it the desperation of clarity?
i know we are all mad
but the levels
some seem higher
but look who's advising me
i know those neurons have been misfiring
since that first shot nicked me
and i fell
with a horrified look on my face
but while falling in slow motion
a small smile
because the ground was coming up to meet me
The Time of Your Life"Do you have the time?" He asked, matter-of-factlyThe Time of Your Life5 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
As if he weren't hanging upside down
From the branches of the maple tree next to Asbury Station.
I debated for a moment,
And pulled out my pocketwatch instead of my cell phone
To let him know that it was twenty past two, give or take.
It won me a smile, which I counted as a small victory,
And went to go about my day.
He was there the next day too, and asked me again.
"Hey, pocketwatch girl. Do you have the time?"
It was five after ten and I told him so.
He smiled again, and I told him to be careful not to fall.
The third day, I heard his voice on the way to work.
"Do you have the time?" He asked, but I was in a hurry.
I ran off with an apology on my lips
And he just nodded, sagely.
He looked pale the next day when I stopped to greet him.
"Do you have the time?" He asked gently,
But this time around I heard something there,
Urgency in his soft, raspy tones,
And I asked, "What's the hurry?"
He smiled. "I could have asked you that yesterd
A KissWhat would I give you for a kiss?A Kiss6 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
I don't have any stars,
I'm not owner of an ocean.
I haven't got my slice of heaven yet
and I don't have the pearls of the sea.
The moon is out of my league,
the sun was already taken;
I sold my soul to the devil
and the world belongs to someone else.
A poem? There're many written.
A song? I do not have much rhythm.
Should I touch you? I would never dare...
Another kiss? yeah... Possibly that.
MelancholiaI wish forMelancholia5 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
a day that I
was not pained
by your memory,
a day when I
did not feel
was upon me.
I search for
yet it seems
a feeble attempt
at erasing that
which will never
vanish from the
depths of my mind.
and I can
You deny my
hand and I have
found a way to
reach my end
June 21st, 2010
seven soulfulonce upon a time, fairy tales breathed.seven soulful5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
we walked through the peppermint forests,
found gumdrop castles and gingerbread
houses. we sat in the easter grass and
OddityGenerally, I do not like going outside.Oddity5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I much prefer the safety and security of indoors. Yes, I understand there are benefits of leaving my room and venturing forth into the world, such as suntans, fresh air, and human company. But there are so many dangers. I could get hit by a bus, bitten by an uncontrolled dog, even get chewing gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It's simply not worth it.
Of course, there's no telling my parents this. "Go out and play football or hang around with the other boys", they say. They don't understand the gentle joy that one can achieve from simply reading about the outside world, rather than endgangering your very existence by experiencing it for yourself. They insist that I spend at least an hour a day outdoors.
It is the middle of autumn, and there is a slight chill to the air. So, I ensure that I have on the correct attire- A plain black sweater, plain black scarf, and carefully ironed black jeans, not too loose, not too tight. I carefully cl
Black Eyes and Butterfly WingsI sewed feathersBlack Eyes and Butterfly Wings5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to my corset's back strings,
but I don't think it's enough to fly.
And the troll under the bridge
is singing me lullabies
but he's still a troll.
And the chalk-drawn owl
with the heart-shaped face
keeps exhaling smoke
but I can't quite reach him.
I don't understand.
The marionette tightened
so I guess that means
its strings are puppeteer strings.
Am I then a puppet?
When I look in the mirror
do I get confused by the backwards world
or high with the trippiness
or do I hiccup and move on?
When I fall
do I fall break or
catch myself with my skull,
bring my elbows smashing to the ground
to help regain my balance?
When I fell for
you did I know what
I was getting into?
I can't remember.
It was so long ago,
when the troll under the bridge
still snored in slumber and
the chalk-drawn owl with the heart-shaped face
had lungs free of ash.
I've gone blind with love,
but I could still see the swaying text
when my heart beat fast in waves
DisenchantedDisenchantedDisenchanted5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
let's stumble barefoot til we find the stars
and extinguish those winking orbs
with the smoke of our murky breath.
let's drown our dreams
in vodka shots laced with disillusion
and hours later
vomit veracity to the pavement.
stagger through this acid trip of writhing flesh
in pursuit of that beautiful boy
who wants you
but never remembers your name.
swivel those sequin-studded hips a little, baby;
maybe he'll fuck you in the backseat,
licking alcoholic perfume from your lips,
his fingers destroying you piece by piece.
love is so overrated.
we're only young once,
so let's make a red plastic toast
to tylenol suicides
we are such fucking clichés.
the stars are just airplane-lights, really.
what more were you expecting?
cigarette smoke.dear c,cigarette smoke.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
this morning i woke up to the smell of cigarette smoke burning
the air and i thought of the nights we spent by the ocean,
sitting on the cool sand with our toes entwined. i thought of the
cigarettes dangling over our lips, the way we'd inhale as deep
as we could and every time the acrid fumes scorched our
throats and smoldered in our lungs, we'd laugh and smile
because when you're as young as we were
you can afford to die
life is cheap and love is the only thing with a price tag
i was walking through the woods and i saw a little baby bird
fall out of a nest. its scream made my ribs seize up and when
it landed, i touched its broken body, touched its little snapped
bones and ruffled feathers and cold-dead-still heart. and i
started to cry, even when the little kids pointed at me and
their parents hustled them away, because i thought maybe
if the tears landed on it right, the baby bird would get up
and fly far, far away b
insanity is futileher crooked antlers hooked his heartinsanity is futile5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
as they sat under the macintosh tree
counting the apples that would fall
with her head perched on his shoulder
she felt the world spin slowly as the
moon chased away the sun
seaside weddings cast shadows
on her train of thought, causing the
locomotive to fall off the track
she whispers dainty opinions upon his lips
that pirouette between his teeth as he grinds
them all together and swallows
her head feels like a ferris wheel
stuck at the very top, when he shares
his feelings on her china blue eyes
dreams that never left the womb
settle under the macintosh tree
counting the apples that would fall
My Sweeti saw you in my dreams, you see.My Sweet6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you looked me in the eyes. you said:
lightning will strike, mountains will shake. the sky will cry salty tears of grief and never stop.
the earth will buck beneath you. buildings will collapse and fires will burn.
don't you know the world will end?
i saw you in my dreams, you see.
i looked you in the eyes. i said:
it matters not.
for my world ceased the instant the light left your eyes.
In Fate's ArmsI wish I had the right amount of words,In Fate's Arms5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the proper adjectives, or nouns,
to weave sweet paragraphs
of how much I love you.
I wish I was a true poet,
or a stunning artist.
So I could maybe one day,
show you how much you mean to me.
Through a heart shattering ode,
or the perfect painting of your angelic face.
I bet there's a keeper,
of all the love in the world.
Maybe he knows,
the proper way to tell you.
Maybe he'll flip through his book,
find our names intertwined by ink.
Maybe he'll look up at me,
with a smile on his ancient lips,
one that says, "This is real love.
Don't let it slip away."
And finally, I'll be able
to put into words,
how you make me feel.
How much I adore you.
That you mean the world to me.
The entire Earth.
The moon, and Pluto, too.
That you make me want to cry,
because it hurts so much
that I can't have you.
And you make me want to make love with you,
make me want you so bad.
All in the same moment.
That my heart,
Caughtin the helium of a nightCaught5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
where constellations ignite
the blood-spattered atrium
of a late summer's sky,
I find myself a comet
shooting the urban grid
in an urgency as I race
a suicidal rim on two wheels
in the blackness between the fires,
my red-shifted thoughts crossing
light years out-of-body
and outliving me
till the awareness of you
slingshots me at Mach speed
to await your arrival
long before it happens,
caught at the last light
so close to my destination,
inhaling the danger of you,
where to idle the demon
begs disaster, even if the
interlude proves a watershed
by Neptune's light, I will
wish to death I had run the red
Antithetic SubsistenceLet me burnAntithetic Subsistence5 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
as I turn to
May 29th, 2010
AnnihilateI am tearingAnnihilate5 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
down the walls
of insolence with
my fist firmly
planted at the
back of your skull.
You bleed and
but my mind is
tainted with hatred.
I break your will
as you crave release.
My glare sets your
soul aflame as you
(I am your
I am your
Messiah of pain).
On your knees,
I pull the trigger
and patiently wait
for you to expire.
Bleed for me
like you bleed
for lost life,
so many things
that no longer
bring you joy.
August 10th, 2010
Romeo And JulietIt seems like you and I,Romeo And Juliet5 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Are very similar,
To Romeo and Juliet.
Your friends try,
To keep you away,
From being with me.
They tell you lies,
To make you believe,
What they want you to.
And sometimes it feels like,
My friends are trying,
To keep me away from you.
I've heard things from them,
That don't seem totally true,
Made up like a bunch of lies.
But deep down inside,
There's a love for each other,
That neither of us can control.
It's too bad,
That for us to be together, like Romeo and Juliet,
We'd both have to die.
craveher secrets fellcrave5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
like raindrops on leaves
and desire rumbled
like thunder in the distance
as she whispered
through white lilies and lace
just me, trust me
though i already did
i begged for reasons
and reasons and reasons more
like thunder in the distance
as she whispered
through white lilies and lace
(i took four northbound flights
to gaze upon her northern lights
only to close my eyes
and breathe in her whisper)
Imaginary"My imaginary father beat me again." Charlie my six year old son complained as he stared up at me from the doorway into his darkened room. He stepped in and carefully closed the door without turning on the light. The evening's setting sun sifted through the closed blinds, but anything brighter than that hurt Charlie's eyes.Imaginary6 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"Then stop imagining. I can't stand to see the bruises." I answered. "Plus they'll hurt if I hug you."
The little boy nodded and screwed his eyes tightly shut as he strained himself to un-imagine the damage. The blue-black-grey-purple paste of bruises mottling his arms and legs slowly faded. "There, daddy. All better." He sniffled and smiled at me.
I stretched out my arms and allowed him to nestle up against my chest where I could hold him in safety. And I held him for the next twenty minutes while he sobbed his heart out. It wrenched at my
ObsessionMonday morning bright and shiningObsession5 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
we awake in perfect timing
you drink coffee I hold tea
you can't bear to look at me.
Monday's dress is ripped and torn
I clutch a shirt I've never worn
he said that I can't clean today
you spill my tea and walk away
You think that it's all one big game
that I don't need to dress the same
or plan the minutes, or count the time
or scrub at non-existant grime
or touch each door and turn each key
you think there's nothing wrong with me
and you'd be right, my cure was care
he rescued me from my nightmare
yet still your words stalk my reflection
highlighting each imperfection
Telling me that I'm so strange
yet hating how he made me change
I hide my face but you still see
the cheating, lying, witch in me.
You found the scrapbook's secret place
you ripped across his gentle face
and in his Kleenex, I had kept
you stole his touch and scent, and wept.
you sat in ignorance, fear and shame
you looked for someone else to blame
for the first time
Avoiding the light....The light varies from person to personAvoiding the light....5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
We as humans love the darkened light
We hold on to the past that seemingly
Tares us apart at night.
The light exposes everything we have done wrong
While darkness hides it away
It keeps our secrets until we get the courage to pray.
The light keeps us running and running fast
While the darkness stops us in our tracks.
One day I saw the light
brighter than before.
It was undeniable
Because little did I know
It gradually consumed me whole.
Be My MuseNever love a poet.Be My Muse5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Everything will mean..
so, so much more to them than it will
Never let a poet love you back.
They'll instill you with so much beauty (with their pen crushed to the paper),
that you'll scarcely recognize yourself in a picture
And you'll hate your reflection in a mirror, after seeing your reflection
in their eyes.
So far awayI simply cannot waitSo far away5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
To be around you
to hold your hand
To tell you how much you mean
My muse, my dearest
To bring you close and breathe your scent
Your soft caress
Height of desire
The mere thought of you
With another man
The sheer pain of this imagination
Nails within every muscle in my chest
Drives me to sadism and violence
The rage boiling just beneath the surface
The pure, calm waters of love
Hide the raging tempest of jealousy
I cannot wish for anything but to be with you
So far away
No One Needs To KnowThere's a thousand and one things I do that concern you.No One Needs To Know5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
No one needs to know, or care, but here are just a few.
How I'll wear just my jersey, the one with
your name on the back, to bed with me. Just so
that I can have a little piece of you holding me
as I fall asleep.
The way I'll smile when no one's looking because
your face is on my mind, and your name on my lips.
The way I'll reread our conversations of a hundred
"I love you"s.
The way I'll whisper "Goodnight, my love"
to no one but my bedroom walls.
How there's always more room and an extra pillow
in my bed, just for you.
The way I'll look at pictures of women, stomachs swollen
with another life just inside, and break into tears, wishing
it was me carrying your baby.
The daydreams I produce, all including you. Our wedding
day - you in a tux. Our first kiss, shared in the airport.
Making love in our bed. Our children's smiling faces.
How I want to lose my virginity to you. Have you be my
first, and my onl