The List, 1 - 100The List, 1 - 1007 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
1. Sneaking into peoples rooms and watching them sleep is not an appropriate use of Invisibility.
2. Chancellor Ocato does not appreciate hearing about how soft his robes are and/or how much I want a set of my own.
3. It is considered bad taste to kill people and then arrange their bodies into compromising positions.
4. It is worse taste to do so in the following places: The Temple District, any of the chapels, any of the castles, or in the middle of Green Emperor Way.
5. Lucien did not give me Shadowmere so that I could board her at Chestnut Handy Stables for the sole purpose of seeing if shell eat the Orc.
6. Stealing all of the Blades armor and throwing it over the wall of Cloud Ruler Temple is not nice, as it is cold up there.
7. The two Blades who do nothing but spar all day are not suffering from unrequited sexual frustration.
8. I am not allowed to give Falanu Hlaalu directions to every necromancer cave in Cyrodiil.
9. Jauffre is not old enough to h
Rules for Morrowind Players1- Thou shalt feel actual guilt at killing innocent characters. Yes, they were part of a later quest.Rules for Morrowind Players8 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
2- Thou shalt not walk around in a town with weapons drawn. Even Balmora.
3- Thou shalt eventually kill one of these: Fargoth, Crassius Curio and/or M'Aiq the Liar.
4- Divayth Fyr is cool.
5- Thou shalt not do Moon Sugar.
6- Thou shalt not be racist towards a specific race, with the exception of the dirty Cliff Racers.
7- Swords are not only better, but cooler too. Axes are bulky. Staves make you look gay, even if you're a mage. Grab a sword, weenie.
8- Scamps are NOT overgrown cats; they are gremlins.
9- Before trying something, ask yourself if you have enough health. If the answer is yes, check the actual amount of health you have and think again. This will save your life someday.
10- "coc Balmora" will get you out of any hole.
11- Thou shalt cheat at least once during your first week. If you discover how, that is.
12- Thou shalt become addicted to cheating.
13- Thou shalt never play
TES - Why does the Dunmer cross the road jokeWhy does the Dunmer cross the road?TES - Why does the Dunmer cross the road joke3 years ago in Humor More Like This
We pretend to have interviewed some eminent minds in order to answer this question.
If the Dunmer walks five miles in one hour it will take him precisely two seconds and a third of a second to cross the road.
The road is one-way only and I await at the end of it.
Hmm, I like nasty Dunmers...
We all have to cross the road to open our mind to more knowledge but shall not step away from the path of wisdom.
The Dunmer goes where the wind blows and no road will tell him where to walk.
He must be looking for some fertile grounds to plant some seeds...
Luck may be found at every crossroad... or not!
Surely this is one more questing Dunmer adventurer, may his courage be rewarding.
Roads were made to be followed or crossed, the Dunmer deals the road his own way.
Wondrous plains of green grass, and may the moths pass.
What's the point of making up some plot if
The List, 101-200101. Psijics do not have ESP, nor do they know Miss Cleo.The List, 101-2006 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
102. Dremora do not have a sense of humor.
103. Neither do the Mazken.
104. And dont even ask about Xivilai.
105. Slow-walking ghostly Blades dont like to be told to move their bloomin asses already.
106. Punt the Scamp will never catch on as a popular game.
107. Neither will Punt the Bosmer. Except maybe in Elsweyr.
108. Not allowed to summon Fire Atronachs inside of castles, no matter how drafty it is.
109. Not allowed to read The Real Barenziah in front of Alessia Ottus.
110. Especially the Daggerfall version.
111. At the top of my lungs.
112. Not allowed to ask Umbacano what the hell is up with his hair.
113. The ghosts in my house in Anvil cannot be trained as servants.
114. Not allowed to instigate snowball fights in Bruma.
115. Especially if it involves the Mages Guild.
116. Raining out the Annual New Sheoth picnic is only funny the first time.
Out of Place: Ch 1 - The Beginning pt 1Out of Place: Ch 1 - The Beginning pt 13 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Out of Place
A Skyrim Fanfic Series
Chapter 1 (Feb 9, 2012)
Fredas, 20th of Sun's Dusk, 4E 201
(November 19th, 2011)
It was early June. The 6th, I think. At the time I'm writing this, the date is a bit fuzzy. I wish I would have started writing down my accounts early on, but considering the circumstances, I didn't really have any way to do so.
Anyway. I was staring out the window of my new bedroom. The sun was high in the sky, so it was sometime just after 12, maybe 2-ish. I wasn't used to living on my own. I somehow managed to find a small house in the country area. It isn't that easy to find the perfect small house, fit for one person, out in the country. I'm just not fond of living in the city with an apartment complex. For a single woman, it just isn't smart. Call me traditional, but I'd sooner have a man around, even if I'm fairly capable. Sure, I know how to shoot a gun pretty well, but what happens if some intruder has one? But I'm work
The Black Legend: Chapter 9The Black Legend: Chapter 93 years ago in Romance More Like This
Hyascinthe settled into her new home quite easily. Farwil held true to their bargain, unaware that the woman deceived him into doing so, even going as far as to have the house fully furnished for her. Not only did he provide everything a home would need, he gave her some of the finest things available in the area. Hyascinthe almost felt sorry for the poor fool almost.
She spent the next several days in relative peace, occasionally having to entertain the young Farwil. As fate would have it, there came a day where she allowed him inside the house, if only to take advantage of the freshly baked sweet rolls he brought to her. Together, they sat and ate and she pretended to listen to the bragging stories of his Knights of the Thorn.
Instead, she thought about Lucien, becoming more and more paranoid with each passing day that she hadn't heard from him. Perhaps it was because he knew not where she had run. Perhaps it was because he had finally satisfied his desire for her. When the tho
His Butler, InsaneMarch, 1889His Butler, Insane3 years ago in Comedy More Like This
" And this mark shall bless you as the flesh of the holy feast."
Hands (or were they bones?) painfully pinned the boy's arms and legs to the altar, prohibiting any movement. He lay shivering, naked, exposed as dozens of faceless worshippers grinned down at him.
A hissing sound broke through the layers of chanting and captured the ten-year-old's attention. Still trembling, he barely managed to turn his head to the side in time to see the sizzling poker as it drew near, ready to brand him with a symbol that glowed white-hot.
"The holy feast "
Those three words echoed in his head as the poker made contact with the skin of his left flank. The boy's body convulsed with the most torturous of agonies-
And then Ciel awoke, bolting forward in his bed and gasping for breath.
The Earl was unsure of how much time passed before his chest returned to rising normally. With morbid curiosity, the thirteen-year-old noble peeled up the side of his nightshirt (now damp with s
Memory of FoxesIt was a biting evening in September when my father suggested we go for a walk. I was only six, and as such in not the best position to form a convincing argument against this plan. So I allowed myself to be bundled up into my winter things then led, crunching and crackling, out through the golden drifts of paper-dry leaves. We walked as far down the lane as my stubby legs would take me, then my father lifted me up onto the top of a gate to watch a trio of fox cubs playing in a field.Memory of Foxes6 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
They were tumbling over each other, snapping and snarling in their infant voices, rehearsing future conquests and defeats from the safety of childhood innocence. Their peculiar antics held my young gaze captive. So much so that I didnt see the vixen until the cubs left off their game to flock around her, licking the corners of her mouth expectantly. Ive seen foxes many times since then; mangy, rat-tailed things, all scummy brown. But in my memory of that autumn evening she was the most beautif
The Tale of Skag BoyCaution, if you don't like motherly soft oral protection/sleeping vore, a touching story, Borderlands, skags, blood, language, or sniper camping, please don't continue reading. Exit this page and return to your own business. If these things don't insult or threaten you, please continue reading. Censoring has taken place for the reason some people are sensitive to swearing.The Tale of Skag Boy3 years ago in Sci-Fi More Like This
I AM WARN-R! MASTER OF CAUTIONARY POSTINGS!
It was a dark night on Pandora. A voyaging spacecraft had crashed. The soul survivor, a young boy in his early teens. Though alive, he was badly shaken and now, he was all alone. He heard tales of Pandora and her creatures. The ones he feared the most were the skags, the ravenous armor bearing beasts which swarm in packs and rip people to shreds.
"Journal entry number one, I'm starving I'm cold I'm so lonely I'm going to die all alone here on Pandora I don't even know where I am all I know is the skags are swarming I see a big momma
RS: It Started With a Dress“One, two, three… five, six… Nope—we’re still missing one!”RS: It Started With a Dress1 year ago in Short Stories More Like This
The upper floor of the Legends’ Guild wasn’t usually this lively, but today was one of the three times a month when the guild members would meet for lunch—or sometimes just cakes and tea, like now—and catch up on what great things they might have been doing lately. Or rather, that’s what they would have been doing, if not for the fact that their little group was short one head—short one purple-haired head, to be exact.
“What could be keeping her?” Ariane wondered aloud, tracing a finger along the edge of the tablecloth. “I do hope she’s alright…”
“Maybe she was delayed by a pack of demons, and is bravely fighting her way through them now?” Ozan suggested. “Or she’s finding her way out of a deadly trap-filled dungeon, all kinds of monsters hot on her tail?”
Sir Owen rolled his eyes.
Just Like You chapter 3 "The only thing that matters, is who you choose to be now," the panda said to him.Just Like You chapter 34 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Shen thought to himself for a minute. He couldn't give up the past, all that he's ever worked for, everything he ever wanted, he just couldn't.
"Your right, than I choose THIS!" Shen then unleashed several blades, and charged strait at the panda. But the panda saw it coming, and quickly dodged his attack. Shen turned around and ran to grab his lance, and ran towards the panda again. He started unleashing several attacks, but the panda managed to dodge them all, but unknown to Shen, he was cutting the ropes that held the last cannon in place. The panda fell, and Shen landed near him, about ready to finally rid of him, but than Shen heard the sound of wood cracking, than quickly turned around to see that the final cannon, was about to fall onto him. He closed his eyes, ready to accept his well-deserved fate. As the cannon fell onto him, he suddenly felt himself going und
Ode for SheogorathOde for SheogorathOde for Sheogorath6 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Come swim with the Birds and the Bees
And Gods flying in their threes
And logical Minded monkeys in the trees
Thank you but no Please!
You try to Halt and put it all on freeze
Here is the Daedric Prince, on your Knees
But youve been touched by the Madness
Just Embrace it with total Gladness
For Madness creates Art
A stage for actors to play the Part
Let it find a place in the Heart
Or, face the Retribution and Wrath
Of our rightful Lord Sheogorath
So come dance to the very merry jig
Offer up the yarn, gem and lettuce fig
The cats out of the bag, that dull hag
Laugh at boring old Jyggalag.
The white emperor - Chapter 1The white emperorThe white emperor - Chapter 14 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Chapter I A new man
"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment" Buddha
Two weeks had passed since the white peacock's death, and the people of Gongmen were slowly recovering from his spartan regime. But although it had retrieved it's freedom, the city was still haunted by the shadows of fear and uncertainty.
After the departure of the furious five and the dragon warrior, the master's council had dissolved due to a dispute between its remaining members, and the city was left ungoverned. This put its inhabitants in a dire situation, because while having a leader, even if it was Lord Shen, it existed some form of control and safety; but now, chaos was taking over the streets. Encouraged by the absence of the city guard and the wolf army, a crowd of thieves, thugs, raiders, smugglers, pirates and other criminals of the worst kind had arrived from the countryside and had literally taken over the city. No one dar
Night's ChildrenNight's Children4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
We emerged from our blindness and entered a new type of dark, where the stars flared brighter than anything we'd seen. We tried counting them all, and stopped somewhere at a thousand, simply stating there was 'too much beauty to put a number on.' We were transfixed by the clouds, tantalized by the moon, worshipping her silver-beamed gaze. We were taken hostage by the sweet night, the beautiful night, the dangerous night. Intoxicated by the sights, the sounds, the scents intensified by the sudden 'new-ness' of it all, our breath quickened and our hearts just wouldn't slow down.
We were children that had been freed from the concept of monsters, ghosties, and all sorts of spooks, let loose to run wild and free through our kingdom of the night, with the moon as our everlasting queen. Without realizing it, the sky had changed from the deepest, richest hue to hazy morning, and dawn was approaching fast. Our queen, our queen, where was our moon? She was disappearing, abandoning us in favor of
Just Like You ch 1 RecoveringHe could feel wind blowing as he slowly was regaining consensus.Just Like You ch 1 Recovering4 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
" ughhh." he moaned. He thought that being dead would be a little less painful. But considering what he did in his life, he guessed he deserved it.
Lord Shen slowly opened his eyes. He saw that he was laying on the shores of the river, so he guessed he wasn't dead. He tried to get up, but found that he was unable to.
The last thing he remembered was the canon falling onto him, and closing his eyes as it fell, than suddenly feeling bursts of pain all throughout his body, mainly around his right wing. He also remembered the panda's last words to him, "The only thing that matters, is who you choose to be now," and telling him that he should forget his past, and to move on. But Shen didn't want to. How could he? How could he throw away everything he's ever worked for? And for what? Peace?
"Hey," a voice called out. Shen tried to tilt his head to see who was calling out to him, but a sudden burst of pain in his
Lord Shen - Sorrowful Death Chapter 2 Lord Shen - Sorrowful Death.Lord Shen - Sorrowful Death Chapter 23 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
- " Po, what the matter with you?" - Master Shifu asked, looking as Po awkward repeating his movements, and the last few days be very scattered. This notice everything in the Valley of Peace, especially in the Jade Palace. "- The last day you are some sort of strange!"
- " Everything is ok, Master Shifu!" - Hurriedly said Panda. - " Well, I must go. I want to get some sleep. Bye!" - and quickly went that nothing has been explain. Master Shifu looked surprised at Po.
Po came to his room and tiredly lay down on the bed. Now 3 days have passed since the de
WiccaWicca is not a cult. A cult presupposes blind faith in a central figure whose every word is regarded as ultimate truth, and the utter conviction that no other way or philosophy will lead to this truth. You would be very hard pressed to find a Wiccan anywhere who would blindly follow anyone else. Wiccans are historically very independent people who seek truth from within through rituals, meditation, magic, study and communion with nature. Wiccans respect the right of everyone to worship in their own way. We do not feel that Wicca is the only way -- only that it is our way.Wicca7 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Wicca is not synonymous with Satan worship. The very concept of a supreme evil spirit is alien to Wicca. In fact, most Wiccans do not even believe in Satan. The devil is a Judeo-Christian construct and as such, it has nothing to do with Wicca. The notion that witches worship Satan was propounded by the Roman Catholic Church as it made its way across Europe, in an effort to suppress the native earth-based religions pre
The Peacock and the Girl 2Chapter 2: Mystic Fortunes are Proven to be DestineThe Peacock and the Girl 24 years ago in Drama More Like This
AS morning began to fade into the afternoon, the air became filled with many rambunctious sounds. Metal clanking,swords clashing and a whole lot of yelling.
"Keep your arms high and let your body flow with your movement!" said the albino peacock.
"Huff..Huff..Im trying!" pouted an excited yet VERY tired Nila. Shen saw she was was exhausted, but he was too caught up in his future visions that he suddenly ignored the thought of ending today's lesson."Enemies shall show NO mercy to a warrior that is out of breath..They will kill you on the spot" said the peacock and he slowly circled around her,"You must be ready...You must master every gesture and every move that you conduct..if you fail..you WILL die in battle." The poor girl was so tired that she suddenly slumped over and purposely fell to the floor with a great big sigh. Shen became a bit frustrated with her stubborness, but he remained calm as usual.
"It seems I was righ
The 13 Blessings of SheogorathFor Our Lord Sheogorath, without Whom all Thought would be linear and all Feeling would be fleeting.The 13 Blessings of Sheogorath8 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Blessed are the Madmen, for they hold the keys to secret knowledge.
Blessed are the Phobic, always wary of that which would do them harm.
Blessed are the Obsessed, for their courses are clear.
Blessed are the Addicts, may they quench the thirst that never ebbs.
Blessed are the Murderous, for they have found beauty in the grotesque.
Blessed are the Firelovers, for their hearts are always warm.
Blessed are the Artists, for in their hands the impossible is made real.
Blessed are the Musicians, for in their ears they hear the music of the soul.
Blessed are the Sleepless, as they bask in wakeful dreaming.
Blessed are the Paranoid, ever-watchful for our enemies.
Blessed are the Visionaries, for their eyes see what might be.
Blessed are the Painlovers, for in their suffering, we grow stronger.
Blessed is the Madgod, who tricks us when we are foolish, punishes us when we are wrong, tortures us