Llamas with Hats Human Adapted
"Carl, there's a dead human in our house!"
My best friend-and roommate-Carl, was in the kitchen, doing the dishes, which was odd, because Carl never did the chores.
He shuffled over and poked the dead body with his foot. "Oh...hey...how did he get here?" Blood was pooling on the floor, from multiple stab wounds in the dead man's chest.
His lying tone was obvious. I stared at him, alarmed. "Carl, what did you DO?!"
He waved a hand nonchalantly. "Me? I didn't do this."
"Explain what happened, Carl!" I said angrily. These kinds of things seemed to happen whenever I went out...
"I've never seen him before in my life!" Carl protested.
"Why did you kill this person, Carl?!"
"I do not kill people. That is..." he couldn't help glancing back towards the kitchen. "That is my LEAST favorite thing to do."
I sighed. "Carl, tell me exactly what you were doing before I got home."
He frowned and shifted
Llamas With Hats 2 [Human Adapted]I watched the burning ship sink on the horizon, then turned to my roommate, who was sheepishly grinning at me. "Carl, what on Earth was all that?"Llamas With Hats 2 [Human Adapted]1 year ago in Short Stories
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"I'm not sure what you're referring to," he said innocently.
"You sunk an entire cruise ship, Carl!"
"Are you sure that was me? I think I would remember something like that." He sat down on the floor of the lifeboat we were in, crossing his legs and looking up at me.
I crossed my arms. "Carl, I watched you fire a harpoon into the captain's face." I didn't even know how Carl knew how to fire a harpoon!
"That sounds dangerous."
"You were head-butting children off the side of the ship!"
"That, ah, must have been horrible to watch." Carl's expression said different--he looked like he was enjoying this.
"And then you started making out with the ice sculptures!" I cried, exasperated.
Carl smiled, as if in doing this, he'd been doing a great service to society. "Thank god that the children weren't on board
Llamas with hats scriptCarl: Oh
How did he get here?Llamas with hats script3 years ago in Comedy
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Paul: Caaaarl, what did you do?!
Carl: Me? Uh, I didn't do this!
Paul: Explain what happened, Carl!
Carl: I've never seen him before in my life!
Paul: Why did you kill this person, Carl?
Carl: I do not kill people. That is
that is my least favorite thing to do.
Paul: Tell me, Carl, exactly what you were doing before I came home.
Carl: Alright, well
I was upstairs
Carl: I was uh
I was sitting in my room
Carl: reading a book
Paul: Go on
Carl: And, uh, well this guy walked in
Carl: So, I went up to him
Carl: And I
I stabbed him 37 times in the chest.
Paul: Caaaaaaaaaaaaarl, that KILLS people!
Carl: Oh! Well, I didn't know that!!
Paul: How could you not know that?!
Carl: Yeah, I'm in the wrong here. I SUCK.
Paul: What happened to his hands?
Carl: What's that?
Paul: His hands. Whywhy are they missing?