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Similar Deviations
Are you lonely? Are you a hopeless romantic? Do you like music? Are you a girl or just an extremely feminine guy? If you answered at least 3 of those questions, then this is for you!

Tired of those guys that "just want one thing"? Are you the obsessive type? Are you turned on by death? The Phantom of the Opera is here to Take You Away!

With any voice, any race and any language, the angles of music are here to suit YOUR needs!

If you are depressed, he will sing for you!

If someone pissed you off, he will "take care of them"!

If you need to get away from everyday problems, because you are a poor unfortunate soul that just can't take it because everyone loves you too much, he will TAKE YOU AWAY!

If you want to settle down, he has already taken the liberty of sneaking into your room at night to get your ring size, and has stolen the measures of your bodice from the dress maker! Your ring and dress are ready!

If you lost your father, he will BE YO DADDEH!

Get your angel of music, today! Try out for the heavenly choir, and if an angel is attracted to your voice, he will stalk you for all eternity!

Get one now, and you will be in a drawing to win an authentic Gaston Leroux Phantom!

If your name is Christine... Good Luck!

All it cost is your voice, your life, and all basic human contact!

{I kind of find it strange that I am a Soprano I in my choir class, I lost my father, and my name is Christine.... but that's just me...}

This is a Creative writing assignment I had where I had to turn something into a commercial, and this is what I picked!

For those of you who know me, my name is Christine, and I CAN'T STAND IT WHEN PEOPLE SING MY EFFING NAME!!! So I just made fun of myself! :XD:

If you don't know who Gaston Leroux is then... You've been living under a rock...

Now with the "BE YO DADDEH" part, if you got offended, don't. If you look back at my other poems, I lost my father almost two years ago, and this is how I cope!

Thank you for reading, and I hope your phantom liked it!

**Original Phantom of of Opera belongs to - Gaston Leroux

Stupid idea belongs to - me!**
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StoryWolf's Helpful Hints

Writer's Block

The worst thing that could happen to a creative writer and
what really drives my crazy…is writer's block.

It happens to every writer at least once or multiple times.  
You have this idea in your head, but no matter how hard you try,
your brain just doesn't want to talk to your pencil and paper
(or computer).

Story:  Come on, why wont you work with me?!

Computer:  It's 4 am and you're writing this stupid skit.

Story:  Don't argue with me, I know where your power cord is.

Here are a few helpful hints that help me when I'm stuck.

#1:  Listen to Music.

Music is full of inspiration and requires the use of both sides
of the brain to listen to and sing.  The rhythm of a song can also
set the mood for a scene that you're writing and (if you're typing)
can actually give you a rhythm to type to.  I use this method a lot
because I love music.  

If you're stuck on a certain scene or if it is difficult to get a
feel for what emotion is being portrayed in a character, try looking
for a song that matches that feeling.  You'd be surprised at what
songs can help a story move along.  

(Nikki sees Story's CD player and puts the headphones on.  
The song "Witch Doctor by The Chipmunks" plays and Nikki's
look turns confused.  Story walks in to sit back down at her
computer and sees Nikki's look.)

Story:  Umm…that's just for the next scene.

Nikki:  Ah huh, sure it's is.

#2  Take a Shower.

Yeah, I know that sounds weird but this actually helped me on
more than one occasion.  And it's not necessarily a shower or a bath.  
Basically it's anything that relaxes you.  When your body and mind
are at rest, you are more likely to suddenly come up with an idea you
didn't have before.  Another thing that's relaxing to me is listening
to the rain outside my window.  So in general, if you don't think
you're getting anywhere, kick back and relax.

(Story is resting on the couch listening to the rain when Trace
walks by and sees her.)

Trace: (muttered)  Lazy bum.

(Story looks at him, unfazed.)

Story:  Careful Trace, I'll put in a scene with Nikki again.

(Trace's eyes widen.)

Trace:  I'm going.  


Story:  Forth wall.

#3  Sleep?  What is that?

Now I'm mostly a night owl, I prefer to stay up all night and
sleep in.  However I do wake up early if I have to, but that's
beside the point.

Most of the time, I will be up writing or drawing until 2 to 4 am
in the morning.  

(Nikki and Trace give her a look.)

Trace:  Oh, so that's what's wrong with you.

(Story shoots him an angry look.)

Anyway, believe it or not, I actually get some of my best ideas
the next morning after I've slept.  So despite wanting to stay up,
if I feel that my mind is getting too tired, I'll call it a night
and fall asleep.  Sometimes your dreams can be great inspiration for
stories and drawings.  

(Story sleeping, Nikki sleeping in her hammock in the next panel.  
Suddenly, Story jolts awake.)

Story:  EEP!  TAILS DOLL!!

(Nikki falls out of her hammock and onto the floor.)

Nikki:  Omph! Ow.

#4:  Start Another Project

Yeah, I know what you're thinking.  'Are you crazy?!   
I'm already working on a project that I'm stuck on, why start
another one?!'

Trace:  Well, I was thinking of the 'crazy' part.

Story:  Two words for you Trace, 'Thin Ice'.

For as long as I can remember, I've always been able to work
better when I multitask.  It keeps my mind busy and most of
the time, I'll have an idea that doesn't match the story I'm
working on.  

Nikki:  (Yelling)  Why is there a dragon in the living room?!

Story:  He he…oops.

For example, at the same time I'm working on writing the
novel for "Sonic's Legacy"  I am also working on the comic
version as well as my completely original six stories (which
I haven't posted anywhere yet.) and just jump back and forth.  

I also usually get ideas for a later scene that I just have
to write down, so I make sure I write a side note to remind
me of it.  Works pretty well.

(Nikki walks into Story's office and sees the piles of
papers everywhere.)

Nikki:  How the heck can you breathe in here?!

So, in short.  If your mind is too full of ideas to focus on
your one project, write your additional ideas down so you can
make room for your current project.

#5:  Get Out of the House.

Sometimes when you've just been staring at a computer for three
hours straight and your body and mind just becomes tired and nothing
seems to come to your head, the best thing to do is to take a break
and come back to the project later.  Getting out and hanging out with
your friends also gives you more ideas for your stories as well as
relieves stress from the mind so when you come back to your project,
you're ready and raring to go.

(Story and Nikki dodging lightning and Story's freaking out.)

Story:  Why the @$#% did I let you talk me into this?!

Nikki:  (laughs)

Story:  Stop laughing Nikki!

Warning!  Do Not Try and Dodge Lightning, You Will Die!

Every writer is different and has different interests, so the best
way to fight writer's block is find out what relaxes or inspires you.  
Whether that's lighting scented candles or just hanging out with your


Or, if you're friends happen to be Nikki and Trace…just go with the candle.
Every writer has this problem from time to time...Writer's Block. Here are a few helpful tips that might help some of you out there. With the help from Nikki and Trace from "Sonic's Legacy"

Enjoy! :D
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Next, please.

Yes, hello again.

I'm sorry, my memory fails me. Which one are you?

Well, I was Martin Fry.

I'm sorry, those records are terminated. What's your number?

Eleven thirty-one.

No, no, not your queue number. Your executive number, the eight-digits.

You expect me to remember that?

Well, it is within the seven plus-minus two limit, which you should achieve if you've reached up to level one. Or, are you the reincarnation?

Yeah, that's right. That's what I wanted to discuss with you.

Did you miss your stop?


I only sent you off a few hours ago.

Yes, my point exactly. What's the deal with turning me into a sea turtle?

You said you liked swimming, and that you'd like a long life.

Yeah, but their life expectancy from hatching is only about four seconds, innit? I was eaten by a gull after two. You do realise that the odds of me becoming an old sea turtle are about one in a million?

What can I do, try again.

I've been at it thirteen times already; it's beginning to resemble a very frustrating video game!

What can I do?

You're God..! What can't you do? You invented gulls, didn't you?

Actually, that was my day off.

I don't believe this...

Would you like to be something else? How about sloth?

No thank you.

They're swimmers. I didn't mean for that to happen, but there you are.

Tempting, but no thanks.

African elephant?


I can offer you, um, tiger?

No! How come you keep giving me endangered animals?

To teach you a lesson!

About what?

About life, and death, and how cruel they both can be because of people like the former you, who take as their profession to cause others to suffer!

I was an insurance salesman..! Anyway, why don't you offer me panda?

I don't like pandas.

How can you not like pandas? Pandas are the fluffy bits of hope in this world!

Why do you think they're dying out?

But you just said--

Enough about the bloody pandas already! I'm on a boycott, orright? Simple as that. You can't be a panda, pick something else.

Well I don't know.

Would you like to see the catalogue?

The catalogue of endangered animals that you like?

Yeah. Here, have a look.

"Life through a straw: Anteater. Short sight, bushy tail and a pair of claws. Live your South American dream." No, that's not really for me... "Sturgeon", "Chiru", "Rhinoceros"... It's not really alphabetical, this, is it?

It's in order of preference.

"Barnacle. Stick to rocks and large whales. Become the owner of the proportionally largest reproductive organ in the animal kingdom. Eight years of self-fertilisation." That sounds good, can I be one of them?

Don't be perverted.
Tuesday Afternoon In God's Office

For radio. To be read in thick cockney accents for both parts.
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Well. Here I am again. Sitting alone at lunchtime. Glaring at all the happy kids around me, sitting their groups. Surrounded by their friends.

Heh. Screw that.

I like my privacy. And to be honest, people suck. Totally. Who really wants to be surrounded by those idiots? No way. Give me a good book any day. At least they don't talk back and annoy me. I mean, c'mon. If I wanted to talk to people, I would. Just because you happen to be near me, doesn't mean you have to open your trap and make friends.


I don't know why I even bother. It's not like you'll even take any notes from this. You'll ignore it like always. Everyone always does. But, whatever. It's not like I need your approval .

Really, I just can't wait to get away from this mob of brain-dead idiots. Back to my safe haven. Nestled among the musty pages of a good book. The Library: home of all the places in the world, and distant from the... well.. tools.

Seriously. The things you find in books.. Hell, they're better than this mundane, useless existence.

Which brings me to the meaning of life. I mean, who doesn't know the meaning of life? Who actually still wonders about it? It's simple, really. The meaning of life? Death. Without death, what would we do? We wouldn't live. We'd just exist. Which is pretty much all we do anyway. Well. Most of us. So, there. If you actually paid attention, you might have learned something.

Buuuuuut... I doubt it.
Sample rant for Josh. Written for :iconthesirknite:
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