What have the Jews ever done for us?!(Yes, I'm basing this off of the incredibly funny Monty Python skit, What have the Romans ever done for us.)What have the Jews ever done for us?!2 years ago in Comedy More Like This
What have the Jews ever done for us?!
(Somewhere in Germany, in Nuremberg, in a secret building)
(A bunch of Neo-nazis are talking)
Head Nazi: (stands up to podium) Alright! Order everybody, order!
(Nazis keep talking.)
Head Nazi: (sigh) Heinrich, if you will?
Nazi 1: (nods, pulls out air horn and HONKS it. Nazis all stop talking and their heads snap foreword)
Head Nazi: Thank you! Alright, everybody, welcome to the secret underground meeting of the neo-nazis, its good to have you all here. Now lets get right down to business. The main goal of the neo-nazi party is to rid Germany and Europe and then the world of the Jews.
(Nazis all nod in excitement.)
Head Nazi: After all, what have the Jews ever done for us?!
(Silence and then one Nazi slowly raises hand.)
Nazi 2: The cure for polio?
Head Nazi: What?
Nazi 3: Oh yeah! The polio vaccine was invented by Jonas Salk, a Jew!
My Helpful Hints Writer'sBlockStoryWolf's Helpful HintsMy Helpful Hints Writer'sBlock4 years ago in Comedy More Like This
The worst thing that could happen to a creative writer and
what really drives my crazy is writer's block.
It happens to every writer at least once or multiple times.
You have this idea in your head, but no matter how hard you try,
your brain just doesn't want to talk to your pencil and paper
Story: Come on, why wont you work with me?!
Computer: It's 4 am and you're writing this stupid skit.
Story: Don't argue with me, I know where your power cord is.
Here are a few helpful hints that help me when I'm stuck.
#1: Listen to Music.
Music is full of inspiration and requires the use of both sides
of the brain to listen to and sing. The rhythm of a song can also
set the mood for a scene that you're writing and (if you're typing)
can actually give you a rhythm to type to. I use this method a lot
because I love music.
Tuesday AfternoonGOD:Tuesday Afternoon7 years ago in Scripts & Screenplays More Like This
Yes, hello again.
I'm sorry, my memory fails me. Which one are you?
Well, I was Martin Fry.
I'm sorry, those records are terminated. What's your number?
No, no, not your queue number. Your executive number, the eight-digits.
You expect me to remember that?
Well, it is within the seven plus-minus two limit, which you should achieve if you've reached up to level one. Or, are you the reincarnation?
Yeah, that's right. That's what I wanted to discuss with you.
Did you miss your stop?
I only sent you off a few hours ago.
Yes, my point exactly. What's the deal with turning me into a sea turtle?
You said you liked swimming, and that you'd like a long life.
Yeah, but their life expectancy from hatching is only about four seconds, innit? I was eaten by a gull after two. You do realise that the odds of me becoming an old sea turtle are about one
Death ~ A rant by Josh WilkersonWell. Here I am again. Sitting alone at lunchtime. Glaring at all the happy kids around me, sitting their groups. Surrounded by their friends.Death ~ A rant by Josh Wilkerson1 year ago in Drama More Like This
Heh. Screw that.
I like my privacy. And to be honest, people suck. Totally. Who really wants to be surrounded by those idiots? No way. Give me a good book any day. At least they don't talk back and annoy me. I mean, c'mon. If I wanted to talk to people, I would. Just because you happen to be near me, doesn't mean you have to open your trap and make friends.
I don't know why I even bother. It's not like you'll even take any notes from this. You'll ignore it like always. Everyone always does. But, whatever. It's not like I need your approval .
Really, I just can't wait to get away from this mob of brain-dead idiots. Back to my safe haven. Nestled among the musty pages of a good book. The Library: home of all the places in the world, and distant from the... well.. tools.
Seriously. The things you find in books.. Hell, they're better than this