What have the Jews ever done for us?!(Yes, I'm basing this off of the incredibly funny Monty Python skit, What have the Romans ever done for us.)What have the Jews ever done for us?!2 years ago in Comedy
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What have the Jews ever done for us?!
(Somewhere in Germany, in Nuremberg, in a secret building)
(A bunch of Neo-nazis are talking)
Head Nazi: (stands up to podium) Alright! Order everybody, order!
(Nazis keep talking.)
Head Nazi: (sigh) Heinrich, if you will?
Nazi 1: (nods, pulls out air horn and HONKS it. Nazis all stop talking and their heads snap foreword)
Head Nazi: Thank you! Alright, everybody, welcome to the secret underground meeting of the neo-nazis, its good to have you all here. Now lets get right down to business. The main goal of the neo-nazi party is to rid Germany and Europe and then the world of the Jews.
(Nazis all nod in excitement.)
Head Nazi: After all, what have the Jews ever done for us?!
(Silence and then one Nazi slowly raises hand.)
Nazi 2: The cure for polio?
Head Nazi: What?
Nazi 3: Oh yeah! The polio vaccine was invented by Jonas Salk, a Jew!
Your Phantom is Here!Are you lonely? Are you a hopeless romantic? Do you like music? Are you a girl or just an extremely feminine guy? If you answered at least 3 of those questions, then this is for you!Your Phantom is Here!2 years ago in Comedy
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Tired of those guys that "just want one thing"? Are you the obsessive type? Are you turned on by death? The Phantom of the Opera is here to Take You Away!
With any voice, any race and any language, the angles of music are here to suit YOUR needs!
If you are depressed, he will sing for you!
If someone pissed you off, he will "take care of them"!
If you need to get away from everyday problems, because you are a poor unfortunate soul that just can't take it because everyone loves you too much, he will TAKE YOU AWAY!
If you want to settle down, he has already taken the liberty of sneaking into your room at night to get your ring size, and has stolen the measures of your bodice from the dress maker! Your ring and dress are ready!
If you lost your father, he will BE YO DADDEH!
Get your angel of music, today! Try
Tuesday AfternoonGOD:Tuesday Afternoon7 years ago in Scripts & Screenplays
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Yes, hello again.
I'm sorry, my memory fails me. Which one are you?
Well, I was Martin Fry.
I'm sorry, those records are terminated. What's your number?
No, no, not your queue number. Your executive number, the eight-digits.
You expect me to remember that?
Well, it is within the seven plus-minus two limit, which you should achieve if you've reached up to level one. Or, are you the reincarnation?
Yeah, that's right. That's what I wanted to discuss with you.
Did you miss your stop?
I only sent you off a few hours ago.
Yes, my point exactly. What's the deal with turning me into a sea turtle?
You said you liked swimming, and that you'd like a long life.
Yeah, but their life expectancy from hatching is only about four seconds, innit? I was eaten by a gull after two. You do realise that the odds of me becoming an old sea turtle are about one