The Problems With Stories Written by TeenagersDon't be offended at the title. "Teenagers" is just my way of saying "people who write unprofessional/shallow stories." Not all teenagers write shallow stories, it just sounds catchier.... Anyway.The Problems With Stories Written by Teenagers2 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
The first thing I want to make clear is: I'm not talking about anything mechanical in this deviation. Grammar/spelling is important (obviously), but that point has been beaten to death by people on the internet already. My purpose, as always, is to talk about the stories themselves, regardless of the way they are communicated. Whether it be through written word or on-the-spot narration, I believe there are certain tricks to telling good stories. Not rules, mind you. Tricks.
I don't believe that telling good stories is about what you "should" do, rather than what you shouldn't. Example: people generally hate Mary Sues, right? Well, sometimes I notice things that are "like" Mary Sues, in the sense that they're equally as shallow/unprofessional ways of telling stories. The purpose of this deviat
Guide - realistic dictatorI've noticed a trend of having dictator/world-ruler/people in a position of power characters. Normally, I find these types of characters fascinating - I love hearing the minutiae of how they keep their regime in control, the cults of personality they develop, their rise and their fall ... it's one of the reasons I love 1984 so much; is Big Brother real? Did he even exist in the first place? Who is the real leader of Oceania? Unfortunately, I've begun to see it addressed shoddily and without much thought, so I decided to make a guide of sorts (more like a glorified checklist) for anyone who is curious on how to develop their dictatorial character, and to make them realistic.Guide - realistic dictator4 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
1. Why do they want power?
I have seen this written away with, "because they want to control everyone", which is true to an extent with many historical figures who were dictators, and also fictional characters. However, this often goes much deeper than "wanting to control everyone" or "they're mad, I tell you! MAD!"
Golden OpportunityGolden Opportunity3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"Kyouko, open up."
Her mouth opened in a yawn. I forked a piece of french toast, covered in a slight sheen of maple syrup, and held it over her mouth as she yawned, letting the syrup drip down onto her tongue.
She paused for a moment, then her eyes opened wide. "That was sugar."
"I brought you breakfast in bed," I said as I sat by her side, smiling. "Good morning."
"You are the greatest," The redhead replied as she took the tray I had in my hands and placed it on her own lap, plate of french toast and all. Now that she was sitting up and wide awake, I stood up and pulled open the curtains.
The sun had already made some progress across the sky. It was already ten in the morning, and way later than I would have normally been around. Kyouko must have noticed, but she was too busy scarfing down french toast to ask me immediately.
"Mami-san," she began, licking the syrup off of her fingertips. "Why are you still here, anyway?"
In The Mind of a Serial Killer Some would call me crazy. How could that be?Those people had it coming! Why? Because of how the looked at me!In The Mind of a Serial Killer7 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
The first one was a mistake, yes. Yes, a mistake. She looked at me like I was some, some animal! So, I pushed her. And down she descended, down the stairs of an empty hall.
But, something happened! I got a feeling, one that had been missing most my life. Bliss, that I could control someone else's life in my very own hands! Watch the fire go out of their eyes! Oh, and how much joy their screams have brought me! Ha! They all deserved it!
How could you call me a monster? If anything, I am an angel!
Art is what it is. All the ways I have killed. Drowning, cutting their hearts out while it still beats, cutting off their fingers as they scream. The last two are my favorite.
Best of all is the fame! E
The Fall of Ariamis …Priscilla.The Fall of Ariamis2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I will keep you safe.
I will keep you company.
Do you remember all those years ago – when we first met? I remember it perfectly. I was so very close. So very, very close to my last shred of sanity snipping. And then I saw a peculiar little girl in white dress – you. Your left hand was occupied by a tattered doll. Your right was wet from wiping your tears. Your eyes began to water again, but I caught it for you that time. I still had a shred of humanity left, gnawing at my heart's strings to care for you, to pity, and to comfort. You were scared by my face, but I mustered a smile, and told you not to fear. You told me that you were lonely, that you were unloved.
And from that point on, I never left your side.
Do you remember all those years ago – when I saved your life? I remember it perfectly. The cursed fellow had threatened you, and I had intervened. You were bigger, but still, I needed to protect you. He chased you up the tower,
Quotes from serial killers"One side of me says 'wow that's an attractive chick, I'd like to talk to her, date her' the other side says I wonder what her head would look like on a stick." -Edmund KemperQuotes from serial killers9 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
"I just wanted to see how it felt to shoot Grandma." - Edmund Kemper
"The first good-looking girl I see tonight is going to die." - Edmund Kemper
"I remember there was actually a sexual thrill . . . you hear that little pop and pull their heads off and hold their heads up by the hair. Whipping their heads off, their body sitting there. That'd get me off." - Edmund Kemper
"I am not insane, I'm just queer."-Albert Fish
final words: "Kiss my ass!"-John Wayne Gacy
"You have not caught me yet and you are not likely to. I shall keep on at my work, for I love it, and I will send you something for a Christmas box."
- Jack The Ripper
"I'm not an alien maniac, nor yet a foreign tripper. I'm just your jolly, lively friend. Yours truly, Jack the Ripper." - Jack The Ripper
"We all go a little mad sometimes"- Norman Bates
Fortitude And Faith“Nileas!” Ausrius bellowed again. He could find no trace of his fellow, even with his enhanced senses, and helmet overlay. No trace of the daemon either.Fortitude And Faith3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
He surveyed the cavern again, slowly re-examining all the corners. He checked the load in his bolter, and advanced, weapon at the ready, continuing to scan in visible light, infrared, and wireframe overlay. The ripples and folds of the tunnel played tricks on the mind, casting odd shadows and concealing entire caverns behind seemingly solid formations of stone.
“Nileas,” he voxed again. “Brother, do you copy?” Likewise the dense rock played havoc with the vox net. He had no contact with his squad commander, or Imperial forces on the surface, and, up until a quarter-hour ago, only intermittent contact with his battle brother, and that plagued by static. Now it seemed that too was gone.
Requiem: Death LettersRequiem: Death Letters4 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Leeds is the first awake. Shadows of his dreams still echo in his eyes when he paces into the kitchen and startles her.
"You're too quiet." She smiles.
He doesn't. "Did you sleep?"
"I couldn't," she says.
He just nods. She pours him coffee. He drowns it in milk and sugar. They welcome the morning in companionable silence.
"I wanted to be there for him." It's a whisper. He stares at the coffee mug in his hands, seeing something very different. "I saw him get hit. I wanted to be there so bad. I would have gone in, but Vance held me back. Probably saved my life.
"Zack." He stops, almost overwhelmed, then forces himself to go on. "I would do anything for him. I would die for him. But I couldn't be there." His eyes are rimmed with tears.
She lays her hand over his.
Leeds wipes his face.
Mando'a Lesson 15Mando'a Lesson 155 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Mando'a Lesson 15
Olarom! Ner gai Linzero. Jate'urcyce gar. Ni dala. Ni Tay'haai. Ni borari ti solegote, bal ni ori Ka'ra Akaane cuar'tomade.
Ni gana t'ad vode bal nu'ni kartayli. Ni gana munit daryc gemas bal daryc sur'haiie. Ni skotah bal nuh'la.
Ner beskar'gam sale racin ge'tal bal ne'tra. Ni juri solus beskad bal solus tracy'uur. Ner yaim pirebu suumpir bal bic ciryc vaii ni oyacyi. Ni emmuri nuhoyir, epar agol, bal piru gal.
Welcome! My name is Linzero. It's good to meet you. I am a woman. I am a Librarian. I work with computers and I am a big Star Wars Fan.
I have two siblings and I am not married. I have long brown hair and brown eyes. I am short and funny.
My armour colours are pale red and black. I car
Zombie Country. Chapter 2.Zombie Country. Chapter 2.3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"Should we all go?" Splash asked.
"No, that'd be too dangerous." Vex sighed, he looked at Arya and then her body, Arya gave him a look and Vex caught it.
"No, no, maybe you should go because you're smaller." Vex suggested and Splash scoffed.
"But she's a female!"
"That doesn't matter. She's smaller so she has less a chance of being seen and-," Vex started but Splash cut him off.
"I don't care if she's smaller! I'm smarter!" Splash hissed.
"If zombies go after her, she probably has a chance of slipping between small spaces and getting away. Or even hiding." Vex hissed and Splash folded his arms.
Arya opened the back of the truck, the streets were deserted and a few of the shops windows had been smashed open. Vex handed her a large bag, "Just incase you find anything. Just get things that you think we'd need."
She slipped out of the truck with her bow in hand and the bag strapped to her back. Vex and Splash watched her as she pushed open the stores door gently and slid inside.
Mando'a Lesson 11Mando'a Lesson 115 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Mando'a Lesson 11
Happy - Briikase
Hate Or'parguur (VERB)
Love Kar'taylir Darsuum (VERB)
To See Haa'taylir
To Smell - Klesir
To Hear - Susulur
To Taste - Isirir
To Feel Aalar
How are you? Me'vaar ti gar?
I am happy. Ni [cuy] briikase.
I feel angry. Ni aala kaden.
Mando'a Lesson 13Mando'a Lesson 13 "Opposites"Mando'a Lesson 135 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Up Laam Down Daab
East Abesh West Wasuur
North Gaht South Ka'gaht
Right Staabi Left Payt
Happy Briikase Sad Trikar'la
Angry Kaden Calm Udesla
Mando'a Lesson 4Mando'a Lesson 4Mando'a Lesson 45 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Mando'a Lesson 14Mando'a Lesson 14Mando'a Lesson 145 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
This lesson is going to focus on adjectives and adverbs, because I've only been tossing in descriptive words occasionally throughout these lessons. (And it was harder to create that I realized it would be. Forget learning new languages, I may have to go back to school to relearn my English!)
Like the lesson on verbs, the lesson will be in regular text, round brackets will surround notes from me, and square brackets will be around direct "lesson quotes" from Karen Traviss' Grammar Guide. (Which can be found on her webpage, and I highly recommend downloading it for personal use.)
(Working from a list of common English adjectives and adverbs, I have compiled these lists I will have obviously missed words in the dictionary, please just bear with me.)
[Adjectives and adverbs are formed by the addition of the suffix -la or -yc, depending on which makes pronunciation easier. There is only one form of the adjecti
Death Battle: Luffy vs. PopeyeDeath Battle: Luffy vs. Popeye1 year ago in Short Stories More Like This
Ray: Alright, the combatants are set. Let’s settle this debate once and for all.
Steel: It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!
All was calm as a massive galleon cruised across the ocean's surface, its lion-head bowsprit and straw-hat wearing Jolly Roger noticeable anywhere. From its deck, one could hear merry music from a fiddle, and the members of the crew either singing or dancing along to it.
Joining them in the festivities was the captain of this ship known to all as "Thousand Sunny". That captain was none other than the famed Straw-Hat Luffy.
The song came to an end and the skeletal fiddler took a bow, his art complete. If he had a proper face, he would have smiled at the cheers.
“WOW!” Luffy said with a broad smile, “Play it again!”
Yet as the crew celebrated, a simple-looking steamboat was coming across their path up ahead. At first, the crew paid no mind to it. That all changed because, just when the skeleton
Pokemon: Broken TiesPokemon: Broken Ties3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Broken Ties~ A Pokémon Fanfiction
(Note: This is the canon Pokémon game universe (G/S/C/HG/SS), but the characters are older. Gold is fourteen and the Kanto trainers are seventeen or so.)
They still see each other sometimes, of course- periodically, occasionally, just enough times to assure Green that Red had not killed himself yet- but it was almost as if that with each passing day, the gap that was between them grew ever more wider than before.
It had not always been this way of course. Once upon a time, they had dreamt of the whole world- two little kids with a girl called Leaf, the closest of friends, united by a common dream: to be the greatest of the great, to etch their names in history. To be champions, all. The question of who would be stronger never arose- it was a topic that they never really talked about or thought about.
What hadn't been in the planned agenda: the break in their friendship bought by too many issues
Utau Text TutorialUtau Tutorial 7/14/2009Utau Text Tutorial6 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
Welcome to Krissy's Utau tutorial! By the time it get finished, the English version might be out. So read while you can!
1) The first thing you do is download Utau, you can do this here http://utau2008.xrea.jp/index.html.
Click the very first link under 'Download' and install it. Don't worry, there are no spyware or viruses.
2) Once you loaded it and checked out the program, you'l
The Town named Owl CityOwl City is a small little country city near the ocean. It's mayor is Adam Young, a shy yet kind man who is the one who built this humble town. We don't have a very large population, about eh...a couple thousand people. But everyone is very nice and will gladly greet any tourists who come.The Town named Owl City3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
The weather isn't just sunny, cloudy, rainy, and stormy. There's beautiful vanilla twilights, snows that contain peppermints, alligator skies, and on some nights, meteor showers, kamikazes, a helicopter moon, blue lights that are surprisingly fuzzy, and shooting stars that shine the night. You can even see galaxies in the sky clearly that other places couldn't show even with a telescope.
Now Owl City is an ocean town, isn't it? So it must have a beach. And indeed you are right, Owl City does have a beach, Umbrella Beach is it's name. Why is it named Umbrella Beach? Because everyday, there are many umbrellas on the beach, even if the day before had no umbrellas. If you look out the horizon, you may se
Mercenary 1-1MERCENARYMercenary 1-13 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Chapter 1: Blood is Beauty
Release One: Pages 1 - 3
THE COLD AIR in Baron Rorke's study did little to calm his nerves. He was expecting visitors this night and they were not the best of company. A shiver of dread ran down his spine and he spent most of the twilight hours staring out of a large window which stood behind his writing desk. It was amazing, he felt, how quickly a man could become attached to a life of luxury; only to be made painfully aware of how easy it was to lose it. War was always a frightening thing, even more so when one had the knowledge and sense to realise that it was no longer an exercise of glory, but a simple festival of bloodshed and cold murder. In war it did not matter if you impaled a stranger on the edge of your sword, such a thing would be punishable in any city or country, but in times of war it became an accepted norm. If the man in front of you wore a different colour, then it was alright to kill him, it was alright to rip him apart fo
the god that was never therethe god that was never there3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
i watched a man speak once. he told of the stars, planets, and people- and how they all came to being. some people say a picture is worth a thousand words, but no one ever gives the worth of words that create images. he created images of blackness- of a non-existent identity.
he told me about the birth and made very clear that it was the only beginning that ever really existed. he said, "the creation of something is the start- and nothing happens before the start. there is no god to shoot a gun or shout, 'go'". there was no time- and time is really the only living thing to this very day.
my head collapses inwards- my eyes explode with small white lights and swirling colors.
i have seen people wearing beige sweaters and carrying meaningless charts, and they always seem to win at life. i see you become one of these people- your dreams are rotten, and your hope is only there as a survival tactic. i used to think that i knew you, and you told me what you thought right.
you spoke about life
Mando'a Lesson 10Mando'a Lesson 10Mando'a Lesson 105 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
I want to center this post around verbs (conjugating and tenses and the like) because I haven't focused on them the way I should have with the other lessons. Since I was learning myself, it was a lot easier to start with nouns, and learn to rattle those off first, instead of slowly building sentences and workable conversation.
The lesson will be in regular text, I will put round brackets around notes from me, and square brackets around direct "lesson quotes" from Karen Traviss' Grammar Guide. (Which of course, can be found on her webpage, and I highly recommend reading it.)
Similar to most European languages, Mando'a verbs end in either ar, er, ir, or, or ur. Removing the r from the verb produces the stem.
(This is something I think I was forgetting when I tried to conjugate my verbs in previous lessons. Oh, how fun it is to teach oneself. KT could probably make a fortune offering a cla
Mando'a Lesson 12Mando'a Lesson 12Mando'a Lesson 125 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
On Time jat'ca'nara
Week - Ray'ture
What time is it? Tion ca'nara [cuy] ibic?
When are we meeting? Tion'tuur mhi urcie?
Sigil (Symbol on Armour) Aliik
The Problem with Self Inserts The Problem with Self InsertsThe Problem with Self Inserts 2 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
There is nothing wrong with inserting yourself into a story. Like anything, it can be well done or... not so well done. The fact is, the majority of people who tend to write about self inserts happen to be beginners. Naturally, that causes there to be a pattern of certain, specific mistakes that are frequently found whilst reading anything on the internet. The purpose of this deviation isn't to say that self inserts are bad. I'm simply going to point out the most common mistakes that we usually encounter.
1. Making ourselves better than we really are.
Don't be fooled by the word "better." This can be replaced with mysterious, deep, dark, tragic, romantic, lovable... anything we want. Maybe a mix of a few of those things. The point is, the version of ourselves will be biased.
2. Not making anything bad happen to yourself
Let's talk about the word "bad." Does this mean something, perhaps, like... getting a disease? No. It means anything that interferes with