The Problem with Self Inserts The Problem with Self InsertsThe Problem with Self Inserts 2 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
There is nothing wrong with inserting yourself into a story. Like anything, it can be well done or... not so well done. The fact is, the majority of people who tend to write about self inserts happen to be beginners. Naturally, that causes there to be a pattern of certain, specific mistakes that are frequently found whilst reading anything on the internet. The purpose of this deviation isn't to say that self inserts are bad. I'm simply going to point out the most common mistakes that we usually encounter.
1. Making ourselves better than we really are.
Don't be fooled by the word "better." This can be replaced with mysterious, deep, dark, tragic, romantic, lovable... anything we want. Maybe a mix of a few of those things. The point is, the version of ourselves will be biased.
2. Not making anything bad happen to yourself
Let's talk about the word "bad." Does this mean something, perhaps, like... getting a disease? No. It means anything that interferes with
Mando'a Lesson 5Mando'a Lesson 5Mando'a Lesson 55 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Mando'a Lesson Number 2Mando'a Lesson Number 25 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Mando'a Lesson 2
Mando'a Lesson 7Mando'a Lesson 75 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Mando'a Lesson 7
Sorry (I eat my insult) N'eparavu takisit
Sorry (I kneel) [groveling] Ni ceta
Mando'a Lesson 3Mando'a Lesson 35 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Mando'a Lesson 3
Older Brother/Sister Ori'vod
Baby (under 3)
Life After the Great War~ Chapter 63Chapter 63~Life After the Great War~ Chapter 633 months ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Victoria took her leave later, and then Camperton came over and said "Don't take it to heart, Tempestuous. I think she's trying to make you feel horrible on purpose. No one's perfect. If you want to know the truth, Collingwood himself had a few girlfriends before he settled down with Sans Pariel. It's a male thing, and that's why I don't hold it against you. Your father was the same way. Howe and I have had a few girlfriends in the past. It's not as if you're being cruel with anyone and wanting them for only one thing."
"I guess.... I have had some affairs though that qualify as one night only."
"It happens. You don't make a habit of it, and you still have a a family you love and care about. Which reminds me, you should be allowed to see Hood."
"Wilhelm says no."
"Is Wilhelm Gustloff Hood's mother?"
"RMS Olympic is."
Mando'a Lesson 6Mando'a Lesson 6Mando'a Lesson 65 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
To Count Soletar
TESTIMONY TIME!!! - Missionaries at Maplewood MallTESTIMONY TIME!!! - Missionaries at Maplewood Mall2 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
So my Urban Missions Training Program does something called a Treasure Hunt every Tuesday, where we pray for prophetic clues to find Gods treasure, aka the people He wants us to pray for. This time, we felt called to the Maplewood Mall. My friend Kristin was my partner today. While we were praying, I got a bunch of crazy random things, including a shield, Fin from the show "Adventure Time", plants, a finger, and a big curly hairdo. Kristin got a hat, a broken heart, and curly hair as well. After we split up into our buddy system, Kristin and I found a stand for Invisible Shield (the thing you put over your phone to protect the screen) and saw the shield on the logo, so we waited for someone to come by. The owner happened to walk over, so we asked if we could pray for her. She accepted prayer for her business and her family, as well as hugs. :3
Afterwards, Kristin and I decided to go into Spencer's, since I overheard our friend Christian talking about how he thought he was
Things I Can No Longer Do in Dungeons and Dragons1) No using the flaming battle axe as an emergency skilletThings I Can No Longer Do in Dungeons and Dragons3 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
2) No dual-wielding two-handed weapons, even if I figure out how to within the rules.
3) Hengeyokai are not for making catgirls and bunny girls.
-a. And I am not allowed to fill a mansion with either or both.
4) Not allowed to use Warforged as cannon fodder with the justification "We can rebuild him!"
5) Just because I can, doesn't mean I should take Arcane Admixture so many times that Magic Missile deals nearly every damage type possible
6) My Warlock can have an Infernal Pact. He cannot be Legion and speak in the third person collective.
-a. Nor can the Warforged.
7) My Warlock will not describe his pact as having made a demon/devil/evil star/fairy/vestige his bitch.
8) If we encounter a female fox hengeyokai with a high charisma, I will refer to her by name and not constantly call her the foxy lady.
9) Zeppelins do not exist in Forgotten Realms. I am not allowed to build one from canvas and fire elementals.
-a. And if I did,
Mando'a Lesson Number 1Mando'a Lesson Number 15 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Mando'a Lesson 1
My name is Ner gai _______
Your name is
Learn to loveLearn to love2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
She collapsed onto the bed beside him, her head resting in the hollow below his shoulder. Her legs bent, lifted from the bed as she sighed. His arm wrapped around her, holding her safely against him. She smiled, looking up at him as he spoke, his hold tightening occasionally as they lay together. She'd always loved when they could do this. Lay on his bed together and forget the world while they shared their problems.
They understood each other; their words, their actions. It all made sense in a way neither could comprehend and neither would give up. She rolled, curling into his body as they continued to talk, relaying their days, as was usual for the two. Not able to help herself, she smiled and kissed his cheek gently before nuzzling into his neck.
He chuckled but leaned into the touch, resting his lips against her hair as she stayed curled into his body. They continued to lay in silence after they'd finished purging their emotions, content to lay in silence, the last words they'd spo
Small Problems Ch.1 (USUK)Arthur dropped the final ingredient into the simmering clear potion. The lock of blond hair fell from his palm and disappeared with a soft plop.Small Problems Ch.1 (USUK)2 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"Finally, America, you'll see." he muttered to himself as he heaved the pot off of the flame and set it down on the cool stone floor of his basement. He then went upstairs and grabbed the old-looking phone off of its hook. He dialed, and waited for someone to pick up.
Alfred whipped out his phone, quickly throwing it in between his shoulder and ear, as he started to madly press on the buttons of his Xbox.
"Y'eeeeeeeello?" he replied, as an explosion sounded loudly in the background.
"Alfred, at least greet someone properly over the phone if you cannot do it in person!" Arthur snapped.
"What!? Dude, i said 'hi,' what else 'ya want?!" Another explosion sounded, and some gunshots as Alfred cursed loudly.
Pinching his nose, Arthur took a deep breath. "Would you like to come over for a drink?" he asked as calmly as he could.
The game immediately
Mando'a Lesson 8Mando'a Lesson 85 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Mando'a Lesson 8
FreedomWhat is freedom?Freedom3 years ago in Philosophical More Like This
Freedom is being able to do whatever you want, without gaining any undesirable effects.
Freedom is a simple paradox, something impossible that we constantly seek. Is freedom that is constrained still freedom, or is it imprisonment?
If we live within a world with a free-market, although we could buy and sell whatever we want, those who make, who work for others have no freedom, they are forced to work tirelessly or face death, they are slaves of the rich, as what we would become. Whereas in a communist society, there is forced equality, you do not have the opportunity to rise above others or fall below others, you are stuck inside of a equilibrium. With laws, we can punish those who do wrong, but with laws comes the opportunity for injustice, without justice, there is no injustice. In a world without laws, we do not have the freedom of luxury, to relax inside of laws, as life would be a constant battle to survive, as it is now in lawless countries.
We are irrational cre
Mando'a Lesson 9Mando'a Lesson 95 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Mando'a Lesson 9
Chapter 2: The Odyssey of PIEChapter 2: The Odyssey of PIE3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Chapter 2: The Odyssey of PIE
The beast of Rhode Island appeared!
Oh boy! A cat! I'm a zombie and I like cats!
"Never fear cat for I am PIE. professional zombie hunter and reformed demon torturer"
Micheal took damage from cuteness.
Micheal fainted (come back when you're stronger, man-horse)
Micheal leaves to do stuff. PIE takes the cat back to his house.
Micheal was sad and stuff.
PIE, meanwhile, is feeding the cat fish and milk (and explosives)
So the cat will explode when touched.
Micheal has returned! "Fear me cat, for I have returned!"
Micheal almost died. But he has a special ability.
[Being attacked by explosives heal him]
"Hah! I have beaten you, cat!" Micheal said while doing the wiggle dance in a speedo while I'm sexy and I know it' plays in the background. (why)
And pieces of cats are raining down.
To the horror of many unlookers.
Seriously, think about it: A zombie unicorn, dancing the wiggle dance in a dpeedo, while p
How to Write FanfictionHow to Write Fanfiction in 100 Easy StepsHow to Write Fanfiction8 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
1) Write a story about your favorite book/movie/play/TV show, starring your favorite characters in situations of your devising. This is called fanficiton.
2) Gloat. It's almost as good—no, better!—than the real thing. The original author/creator/director should hire you to do their job for them!
3) Discover FanFiction.net. Feel unoriginal for a moment, then console yourself that no one's fanfiction could possibly be as good as yours.
4) Browse fics from your favorite book/movie/play/show. Read a few at random.
5) Die a little inside seeing the way fourteen-year-old writers molest the characters of your beloved fandom and the English language in general (even if you are fourteen yourself).
6) Be glad your fics aren't that terrible. Make all haste in posting your own, taking care to check the grammar and spelling along the way.
7) Submit your fic. Feel benevolent for nobly sharing your genius with these talentless wretches.
8) Check for reviews e
Napoleon BonaparteThere he is, his majesty, in all his glory. The emperor of France and of my heart He just came back from Russia and he's announcing the new strong alliance to Russia. Russia is going to help make alliances and take over Europe.Napoleon Bonaparte9 years ago in Humor More Like This
"I will become Emperor of the world! France will be the capital and the place I will rule from! The whole world will be ours and they will all want to be France! France will rule over the rest of the world!" a roaring cheer broke out all around me, and I was the loudest. Not only did I scream my joy to the news and my loyalty to Napoleon and France, but my love for him. My undying love for him. Unlike that Josephine who had him and couldn't even give him a child. That whore who opened her legs for all nobility and already had children couldn't even produce an heir. She was rotten to the core and it must have finally affected her physically. Then there's that archduchess Marie Louise of Austr
How Not to Tell a StoryAfter being on DeviantArt for a few years now, I've noticed patterns in people's stories. Patterns, that I can't say I've ever seen until I started using the internet. I believe that's because these kind of patterns are thoroughly unprofessional. The pattern in short is this:How Not to Tell a Story2 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Character = victim
Plot = bad things happening to said victim
Maybe this sounds harsh. It's not if you understand that is ALL there is to these stories. They take any character, hurl them into a tragedy and that's it.
Let's get this straight: We do not know your character well enough to care about them yet. No matter how bloody and gutty their injuries are, no matter how many of their family members are deceased, no matter what their boyfriend did to them, no matter what kind of disease they have, WE. DO. NOT. CARE!!!!!
These kind of things are sad in themselves, but WHO is this person we're supposed to feel so horrible for? Establish THAT. It should be your absolute FIRST priority: no exceptions.
No more pasting
My Really Long Webcomic GuideMy Really Long Webcomic Guide5 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Jenny's Really Long Webcomic Guide
I have been getting quite a few emails and questions about starting up your own webcomic, so I decided to compile all the articles I'd written before into this one comprehensive guide.
This massive wall of text has several sections:
- How to start
- Getting the story started
- Readership & research
- The Internets!
These are my own guidelines, based on my own experiences, and these are my solutions to the problems and issues I have encountered along the way. This is not necessarily the one true way. There are probably many different solutions to any problem. And a bajillion books on this very subject too. But regardless of what I have to say, do what works for you!
So take your bathroom breaks now, because you'll be here for a bit! Sit tight and enjoy my blathering!
Part One: "How do you start a webcomic?" A Short Question... with a big, long, friggin' answer.
Okay, a l
Wake UpWake Up3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
The shadows are getting longer, the light is getting dimmer. The big light is going to rest, leaving a fiery trail behind it, until the world goes dark and the millions of eyes of the sky begin watching.
Now, it is time to wake up.
The moutains of sand are still warm when they leave their refuge, under the distorted trunk of an old, decrepit tree. The ground - which can look almost as white as the big light under it's hot wrath - is now a blueish purple, and the silver circle, the one that brings the comfort of darkness, takes it's rightful place among the eyes of the sky. It is now that they are active, and when the hunting begins.
They touch each other, in an act of intimacy that is not allowed for anybody else. Making soft calls, they reaffirm their relationship as monogamous partners - in this endlessly vast landscape, there are not many others to mate with anyway. This is their first year together though, and fortunately she is already about to lay her first clutch of eggs. The ha
The Morning FrostThe Morning Frost3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
The Morning Frost
Men have often come to fear and believe in what they cannot see. This invisible omnipotent force is a driving factor within the existence of man. This ideal motivates man; it creates a feeling of duty and belonging. This ideal can cause great justice, or can blind a man into a blunt instrument.
The Great War had ended in 1918, yet it lingered within my mind. Night after night, I would terrifyingly reminiscence men being shot and their blood being splattered. The scarlet drenched ground in Johannesburg flashed through my subconscious during slumber. The mighty and destructive trenches and the men I had attempted to save. For each man I failed to save, my hair would turn a silvery white hue. Until my head was as silver as the metal itself.
I fell into a great heap of depression and began drinking. The liters of whiskey washed away my sorrow for an hour. The crestfallen pain would damper my disposition for the remaining twenty three and even the omnipotence of alcohol co
How to be a True Fan1. Merch Does the object of your obsession have merchandise? Yes? Good. Make it your job to own every available piece of it. If you don't own every piece of available merchandise, you aren't complete. In fact, you won't have a functioning life because there will be a large gaping hole in your chest where that missing merchandise should be. The hole will be so mind-rendingly large that your mother, your best friend, your car, your dog, not even your smoking hot girlfriend will be able to fill. Also, the hole and stinking lumps of meat that surround it will be gradually eaten by the nastiest of flies until you do find something to plug it up with.How to be a True Fan5 years ago in Editorial More Like This
And cement will not work.
Make it your job to become a next-gen treasure hunter and send yourself on a never-ending quest to acquire all existing bits of said merchandise to plug that hole before the fly eggs do. Yes, even the Japan-release only ones.
2. In the Beginning A true fan must also have been alive wh