It's rough trying to be yourself, because finding out who that is may be nearly impossible, but I'm starting to get a grasp on things. Even worse than the words of others are the words you can inflict upon yourself. I've convinced myself of how freakish and worthless I was, even to the point of thinking of just..giving up on life completely. I'm done with that. I've been done with it for a while now and I can accept the fact that the way I am isn't changing any time soon. I've wanted to do something like this for a long time now, but I've been too scared to. I think it's about time I just went ahead and tried it. It's hard to hit that submit button...but I will, and as you read this, you know I have.
There are people I know in real life who will see this. There are people in my family who probably will too, and I'm scared to death of finding out what happens from there. My worst fear is to be cast aside by a sister I love dearly. I've done it before and it was terrible, I don't want to go back to it. ha.....I never would have thought that the first sibling who threw me aside would be the most accepting of the two now. I can't thank her enough for all the acceptance she's given me.... In fact I can't thank anyone enough, but here it is: Thank you all so much for helping me get to where I am now. Thank you for helping me feel like this was okay, that I was okay...that I am okay.
Everything will be fine, and I have faith that no matter what happens it'll all work out.
To everyone hurting...whether in their own way or in a way I've hurt before, I may not know you, but I do love you, I'm proud of you for holding on, for keeping going, for trying despite what others say. For knowing deep down that there is better than this and that you can get there. You are a beautiful person and I give you my love because of that.
You can do this.
My name is Eli and I am a person who loves. No matter what else people may say, that is always what will be there.
it's taken my probably well over half a year to get his design all set and his name together, but i finally got it feeling correct and i'm very very happy. XD I was working off an ancient sketch of what he was supposed to look like, so i'm very very happy with my little desert dweller!
Just so people have an idea about what it's like to be in the mind of a nightmare. When one of them isn't active they can choose the environment around them. Having been around for so long and having seen so many dreams and fears they can create whatever they feel is appropriate for the day.
I drew this forever ago and just finished it. Mimsy is mine~
A competition entry for the Art Institute. I still don't know if I qualify, but doing this picture was a really good experience and I learned a lot. Also, a huge thanks to everyone who put up with me while I was doing this piece, and to , who taught me a ton on lighting (even if she doesn't realize it) and is going to marry my fish.
also, download if you wanna see dem fish
EDIT: I'm a finalist in the competition. I went from being unsure if I'd qualify to having a 3,000 dollar scholarship in my possession. Things are looking more and more possible every day!
Likes: -Candy of all sorts (favorite being pink lollipops) - Dresses - Make up - To sing (though is always off key) - Pranks and mischief (An Imp, after all) - Flirtation and compliments. - Being warm and dry - The company of Soroso and Ort, the two lesser Imps from Eradin's pouch that are well behaved.
Dislikes: -Being cold and or wet (hates it with a passion) - To be looked down upon or pestered. - When people assume the outfit means "easily dominated" - Hot drinks - Sudden loud sounds (can't stand being frightened and gets rather huffy and mad afterwards) - Being yelled at for any reason. - self absorbed people (would prefer to have ALL the attention)
Personality: Eradin is a fiery spirit. Though very mild mannered upon first meetings, Eradin has a tendency to become more boisterous and cause trouble when people become friendlier. Eradin is constantly trying to push the limits of what one can get away with. (Also has an extremely high sense of guilt and will shrink and mope upon being caught and scolded.)
History: Eradin was born to a family of Imps and surviving in a pile of 17 brothers and sisters (and those are just the full blood relations) it's no surprise a few...quirks developed in the personality. Eradin has spent several years as an apprentice for a rather wealthy mage in order to raise a bit of coin for the new arrivals of the family back home. As part of Eradin's final training, independence was necessary. The Imp keeper ended up at Hiems mansion with a few nerves, but eager to prove that handling the lesser Imps alone was no trouble at all.
Other Facts: - Sad people make Eradin sad (will always try to cheer them up) - Being treated like a child nearly always brings on frustrated tears (though they're held off as long as is possible for the young Imp) - Eradin instantly becomes shy around other Imps. (Will always blush) - Sleeping is a recreational activity - If living on sweets was an option, Eradin most certainly would. - Hiding the tail under clothing makes Eradin's balance a little off. (quite clumsy, hence disliking hot liquids) - *cough*gender is a sensitive subjectEradin: Why would you need to know! I have no interest in you so leave me be! Relations needn't be mentioned in any sense that this would be relevant! *rages in corner* - Is a firm believer in second tries. - Never does things the same way twice.