EquestriaNoir-A Neo-Noire Tale
Manehattan - 9:30 PM
Scumbag: the most prolific term in my vocabulary is the word scumbag, and for good reason; almost everyone I meet in the streets nowadays is a scumbag.
What constitutes a scumbag? The signs are too long to list, but I don't need to; I know a scumbag when I see one, and the unicorn running away from me at this very moment constituted a grade-A example of what a real scumbag is.
The filthy piece of scum ran - flying almost - as I pursued him, pistol levitating near my head in a soft, dark colored glow. He sure ran fast for someone who had just had a bullet pierce his hind leg; but I had grown accustomed to this sight, as it had played out in the same form for more times that I dared count.
His ragged red robes concealed just how dangerous this piece of equine filth was, and this one was as vile as you could get: a foal-raping, mass-murdering cannibal cultist who was mere seconds away from having his brains become part of the pavement.
The cultist nearly collap
Closer to HeavenCloser to Heaven5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Unknown Location - Unknown Time
"Dash, how long do you think we've been flying?"
"It's only been three days since we left Cloudsdale, Gilda - it feels like weeks at this point, though."
"How've you been keeping track? I can't even see the sun through all the smoke."
"It's a pegasus thing G.; griffins just don't have our talent for weather."
"Right, I completely forgot about that...So what's your special weather talent telling you about those clouds up ahead? They're blacker than normal...do you think Civil Protection torched another town?"
"...I don't want to think about that Gilda It was bad enough when they came to Cloudsdale looking for Rebels, but then they started butchering civilians... They took pleasure in the deaths of all those innocent pegasi..."
"...How long till we get to Ponyville, Dash?"
"If we keep flying like this, we might make it by nightfall. If we aren't shot out of the sky on the way there that is."
"...Maybe we should fly a bit higher,
The Magic TouchThe afternoon was warm, the sky cloudless, the wind light. It was a perfect summer's day, and the cicadas were singing. In the shade of an oak tree on a hilltop, three ponies sat on a large blue-and-white gingham picnic-blanket, a game of Monopony between them. A basket nearby held the remnants of a fine lunch.The Magic Touch5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Overhead, a pair of winged unicorns flew through the clear skies. Behind then a brilliant red hawk-like bird followed, trailing glowing motes. As they passed over the hilltop, the smaller of the two flying ponies pointed with a hoof, then the fliers began to spiral downwards toward the tree.
The light thumps of the landing ponies startled the picnickers. "Incomin' royalty!" one of them yelled, and all three were quickly on their feet, then in a deep bow.
"Applejack! Rarity! Fluttershy! Fancy meeting you here!"
The three looked up, all smiling. "Your Majesty! Majesties, that is..." Rarity dipped her horn to Princess Celestia, then again to Princess Luna. "Such a surpri
Salty ShoresSalty Shores4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I turned back to see that the accursed fog was gaining more and more ground, enveloping everything in its path. "Damn them all to gut spewing hell!" I spat out loud while running as fast as my hooves could possibly carry me. I wasn't the only one running, but I was somehow ahead of the pack.
"Bastards just had to interfere when I clearly told them not to! Ritual was too unpredictable, too dangerous. They shouldn't have ignored me!" Running uphill really wasn't helping me escape any faster, but it was better than standing around waiting for the fog to consume me.
There was a scream behind me. I dared turn back once more to see what was happening. To my horror, the fog was closing in at an even faster pace, only now there were black tendrils scooping up ponies left and right. Some managed to wriggle their way out, but it left them with horrible gashes that seemed to fester with something black and utterly vile.
I picked up the pace at this sight. Fire shot up my legs, but I
Solar Mare's Plan(Draft for Solar Mare and Nightmare moon's first encounter:Solar Mare's Plan5 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"Power corrupts. Knowledge is power. Study hard. Be evil."
Solar Mare making imaginary circles with her golden armored hoofs on the ground started to talk.
"So tell me sister, what now? I assume there's a reason for waking me after so long."
"Well we could-"
"Let me guess" Solar Mare interrupted. "You want us to make a never ending day and night? A total eclipse if you may?"
The words where clearly taken from Nightmare Moon's mouth.
"Ha! Don't be so stupid. Your never ending night was nothing but a juvenile dream, a sad attempt of revenge, a desperate and pathetic cry for attention. All you wanted was to proof yourself worthy. Tell me, what exactly did you accomplished with an eternal night?"
-"I well " Nightmare Moon was caught with her guard down.
She was speechless; all she could do was shrug in her place, as if she wanted to disappear. How could her sister treat her like this? After all tha
Dreams PastPinkie Pie felt her way up the dark staircase to her room. She groaned and brought a hoof to her aching head. How late is it? She stumbled over to where she thought her bed was, eyes still adjusting to the darkness. There was a creak from one of the top windows.Dreams Past5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"Dashie, is that you?" the pink pony called out.
"Don't Dashie me, Pinkie Pie," an angry voice growled from above.
Pinkie Pie groped around the wall searching for the light switch. "Oh Rainbow Dash, you sound so super um um unparty-like!" she said, still fumbling at the wall.
Suddenly, the room was filled with searing light. Pinkie Pie brought up her hooves to her eyes. Ow ow ow that's bright!
Pinkie's vision came back just in time to see Rainbow Dash swoop down at her.
Pinkie Pie squeaked in surprise as the blue pegasus struck the wall on either side of Pinkie's head with her hooves. "You stupid little pink pony!" choked Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie Pie's mind raced as she tried to piece together ev
My Dizzy MomMy Dizzy Mom5 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
WARNING: This story is actually better in Google Docs because I can use italics and stuff there.
It has often been said that a pony's life will flash before her eyes when she is about to die. Cherry Daiquiri believed this, but she didn't think it was possible to die of embarrassment. But sure enough, when she saw her mother pull her face from the punch bowl in front of every single pony in her class and come stumbling over to her with a big dumb grin on her face, every moment of her young unicorn life flashed in front of her.
One of her earliest memories was her walking down the street with her blue unicorn mother, Romana, or "Romama" as she had become fond of calling her because it sounded funny, and her purple earth pony mother, Berry Punch, or "Fruity Mama" as she called her because of the grapes and strawberry she had as a cutie mark. This particular walk stay
The Ghost of Carousel BoutiqueAttention: This story contains characters from the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic franchise (© Hasbro, Lauren Faust, et. al.). If this is not your cup of tea, then please do not drink it, and go find some other beverage to quench your thirst. Thank you.The Ghost of Carousel Boutique5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
* * * * * *
"Thanks again for letting me stay over tonight, big sis!" The little white unicorn snuggled deeper into her sleeping bag, leaving nothing visible but her big green eyes peering out from the opening. A muffled giggle emanated from within the polyester cocoon.
Rarity couldn't help but giggle herself; her sister's antics were just so adorable. She put on a warm smile, and replied, "Of course, Sweetie Belle, any time. After all, that's what family is for, is it not?" The diamond-flanked unicorn continued buttoning up the house for the night. Going over to make sure the window was locked, she shivered. "My, oh my, it certainly is cold out tonight." Glancing through the frosty pane, she glimpsed the misty stre
Mirror of Impossible DreamsThe Mirror Of Impossible Dreams starring Twilight Sparkle and Princess CelestiaMirror of Impossible Dreams5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Spike was out of the house for once, away on an adventure with Apple Bloom, and Twilight Sparkle was making good use of the time to get as much study done as possible. She sat on her bed reading a book called "The Ursa Major in its Natural Habitat" it was a fascinating book, and she was so deeply engrossed in it that for a long time she didn't realise there was somepony knocking on the front door of the house.
"Is that Spike back already? Why doesn't he just come in the door's unlocked for goodness sake! Oh Spike..." But when she got up and went to the door, she saw that it wasn't Spike it was one of the Pegasus ponies who took travellers between Ponyville and Canterlot. Few ponies made the journey regularly, so she was surprised to see him arrive at her house unannounced.
"Uh, yes? Can I help you?" she asked, and the Pegasus pony bowed and replied:
"Her majesty Princess C
Harmony HarmonyA MLP:FiM FanfictionHarmony Harmony5 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
The screwdriver, hovering in midair, gave itself a few twists before refusing to tighten any more. Twilight Sparkle's telekinesis set the tool on the table, and the purple unicorn stepped back to admire her work.
A large silver unicorn, about the size of Princess Celestia, stood in front of her. It was maneless and tail-less, and its eyes were only dark triangles etched into its face. All that would change with the flip of a switch.
"Finally," Twilight narrated to herself, "my masterpiece is complete! No longer will I have to endure endless hours of uneducated drivel from Pinkie Pie, boring bunches of boutique bother from Rarity, tedious tales of boastful talk from Rainbow Dash, sordid squeaking from Fluttershy, or abstrusive accents from Applejack!"
She let of a maniacal laugh, which echoed in the underground lab. She swung a hoof around the large switch on the wall and slammed it down in an array
The chosen: Chapter OneThe chosen: Chapter One5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Train En Route to Ponyville - 5:15 AM
It would take about four hours to get from Manehattan to Ponyville. I wanted to use the time to catch up on some much needed rest, but despite my best efforts sleep was just something my body refused. I spent an hour staring out the window before I decided to do something else instead.
It was about time I caught up on the newest issue of "The Adventures of Captain Baseball Bat Boy", an import graphic novel from the human federation and still my favorite graphic novel since foalhood. It mostly dealt with a hyperactive human kid that solved his problems by cracking heads with his baseball bat. In this month's issue, Captain Baseball Bat Boy was up against his most dangerous nemesis; the nefarious Maxwell's Demon and his army, The Freaking Demons from Outer Space. It was good stuff that made the last leg of the trip bearable. Still, it wasn't that long and I finished it in about a half an hour.
It was a guilty pleasure, and one that at least kept my h
Derpy's Secret Mail BagLetters from Derpy's Secret MailbagDerpy's Secret Mail Bag5 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
In all of Equestria, there's no pony quite like the Mail-pony of Ponyville. Her name is Derpy Hooves, and as the Ponyvillians say "Derpy by name, Derpy by nature." But they love her all the same, despite the mail sometimes being delivered late or to the wrong pony, because Derpy is the one pony you can tell your secrets to, and expect them to be kept.
Sometimes a pony of Ponyville needs to get something off his or her chest, but they don't want anyone to know about it. So they write it in a letter and give it to Derpy to deliver. And Derpy can tell, by the wistful look on the pony's face as they hand her the letter and by the fact that the letter has no stamp on it (for the Ponyville Post Office gives every pony a page of stamps the day after every Winter Wrap Up with their own unique cutie mark on them to use throughout the year), that the letter isn't meant to be delivered. So she puts it in her saddlebag, separate from the one with all the
ForeverForeverForever5 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Note: I'll warn you now. This one is a bit sad. Don't expect the sort of humor you get from Fair Feather Friend or ... And Apple Accessories.
Pinkie Pie loved visiting Fillydelphia. She hadn't been there in forever and she was literally bouncing with joy to be back. The big city had some of the best candy shops in Equestria, and nopony in Ponyville knew how to make a proper Filly cheese and pepper sandwich. Judging the smells wafting past her nose, somepony in this deli knew exactly what they were doing. She no idea why nopony else was in there, it being the lunch hour and all, but thems was the breaks. She was visibly drooling, but she had to wait. After all, she was meeting somepony she hadn't seen in nearly five years. The letter telling her when and where to meet wasn't signed, but she recognized the writing instantly. She was so excited that she didn't re
Airshipping Is MagicThe morning air was crisp and cool with barely a breeze blowing. The sky was crystal blue, and the rays of the sun played lazily across the green countryside. It was the perfect day, thought Twilight Blimple, for a flight.Airshipping Is Magic5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
The little purple sparkly blimp slowly rose into the air, enjoying the wind as it played across her surface. Her propellers spun into life as she turned in a westerly direction, the fluted spire that jutted out from her control deck pointing the way.
Twilight wasn't a big blimp. Her gasbag was large but stubby, her fins small and protruding, and her purple gondola cabin was slung almost apologetically underneath. Growing up as a little balloon in the big city she had always been jealous of the other airships, who always seemed to be more graceful than she. But soon study had paid off.
Today, she was on an important mission. Today she had to ferry vital medical aid across Airquestria. A hailstorm had hit the town of Hull, and puncture repair kits were urgently needed.
Spark Chapter 4Chapter 4Spark Chapter 45 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
After the Princess left, Twilight was determined to get to studying. She wasn't too clear on how she was going to go about retrieving her books - maybe another teleport was in order. Twilight was just getting ready when a knock on the door interrupted her concentration. She groaned, knowing she had to answer it before Luna was disturbed.
"Wha- Oh, Spike!" Twilight was surprised to find her assistant crossly tapping his foot outside the door. He came in without her invitation.
"Where were you, Twi?" he asked, clearly indignant. "You were gone for hours! Do you know how hard it is to keep a straight face when you're lying to the Princess of Equestria?"
"One of." Twilight corrected. "And sadly, yes. I'm sorry Spike." gears turned in her head. She couldn't have spent more than an hour and a half searching for books, probably less. Yet Spike was right - it was already well into the afternoon, several hours having passed from when she began her venture. Twilight wondered just what
Sinner in Equestria - Prologue'It's strange, how things crisscross and completely unravel in the end,' I thought to myself as I stared at the loose paneling, sparkling wires, destroyed panels and consoles of my ship's bridge. 'To think, that it all started with a simple desire ' I trailed off mentally before I shook my head, slowly circling the destroyed bridge.Sinner in Equestria - Prologue5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I ran a hand over a darkened monitor, numerous cracks running up and down the screen, the cracked glass reflecting the frowning visage of my face. Ruffled, medium length brown hair and tired, grey eyes stared back at me.
Shifting my gaze, I withdrew my hand before turning towards to what was the "Captain's Chair" on the Bridge, positioned in the middle of the bridge and in clear sight of the bridge's viewport. The chair was slightly crooked but looked steady enough on the circular and elevated platform that it rested on.
I slowly approached the chair and ran a hand up and down, feeling the cracked, luxurious leather of what used to be my sea