learning to forget how to readi hate it a littlelearning to forget how to read3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
with my bottom lip
pulled between your teeth
it's like moonlight,
the only light by which
i really see you
i don't know how to think
(about you, anything, this)
and everything you do
is balanced on a scale,
waiting for so much as a breath
to knock it from its centre
(if you don't ask me
to come over, if you
greet me with a television
or hands in my jeans, if
you wait for me before i
leave you in the morning, if
you kiss me upon awakening
or sleeping or as i drift
between the boundaries of
here and with you,)
i am just caught in the tides
the ebb and the flow
as i fail continually
that i am more to you
than just a body
to hold onto at night
and without knowing you
too much past your body
and copy shops,
i am afraid to so much as
think of this
(the fear is sharp,
yet i know better
than to lie)
155this is not the time or place for us to speak like this. we are sitting in your car at the walmart parking lot. it's not a mile from my house, but it's better than stopping at the dead end of my street.1553 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
we don't move for the five seconds following the moment you cut the ignition; from there, your eyes drop to the stuffed animal you won me -- a token of the high-noon days of our summer -- that oscillates between your hands.
the sun shifts from low to lower, dipping behind clouds and city silhouettes until the lights come on. the list of things i need to tell you becomes unreadable in the failing light, so you press a button and i can see again.
i wish there was a button like that for you, and for me. maybe it would be between the fingers of our opposite hands, so if the webbings of our thumbs met in embrace, you would remember the way you felt for me in the nights we spent on friends' couches, just revelling in the feel of each other's bodies
drowninghe offered me his cigarette, try it?drowning6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i hesitantly reached for it and put it to my lips. i remember my mother telling me that i should never try smoking, but i felt myself wanting to. it was probably partially because he did it.
i inhaled and felt a burning sensation in the back of my throat and in my lungs. i coughed a bit and scrunched up my face as the smoke came out.
he laughed and took it out of my hands.
i shook my head, gross, i coughed again
and he just grinned.
its one year later and here i am:
tall, thin and alone. my messy brown hair falls unevenly around my bony shoulders. im pale, but not the pretty kind of pale, the ugly kind of pale you get when you are sick.
but its okay, because i am sick
sick of hearing all the apologies that are being shoved down my throat.
im a chain-smoker because cigarettes are all i have to remember him by and i drunk-drive cars, secretly hoping that ill crash.
youi learned a lot after i met you.you6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the first thing i learned was that
some people just pretend to be okay
but inside theyre breaking.
a lot of things (i mean people, and i mean you)
are not always what they seem to be.
another thing i learned was that
all good things come to an end.
(but maybe in our case, it was for the best.)
theres a fine line between
love and hate.
i could never decide which one
i should have used to describe you.
you once told me
that i looked prettiest when i cried.
(but i think you just liked seeing me hurt.)
sometimes, when its late
and no one else is home
(i dont see whats so pretty about it.)
first weekend and realisationsyou begin to talkfirst weekend and realisations2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
because talking means that
someone else can't
&you start to realise
(as most girls do)
that you have a boyfriend
he's not just a boyfriend;
he's your boyfriend
&he's not just better than
anyone else in the world
he's better than
anything else in the world
&you would trade years off your life
to spend a little longer with him
or to see him smile when he's sad
or to feel his face in your hair
the way he does when he hugs you
&you can't feel it
because right now he's too far away
but distance is only the space between
point a and point b
between you&between me
&if you give it just a little more time
you'll realise nothing has changed
and the disjointed rhythms
your heart beats out like a drum
sticks like a song in your head
the moment you watch recognition
hit his eyes
when you walk in.
Happily Never AfterIt appears we are nothing more than just mere puppets, childhood playthings to be thrown around and disposed of as you wish.Happily Never After6 years ago in Teen More Like This
I remember when we used to be able to wish upon a shooting star, sit atop the traffic lights and watch the cars pass us by. (Back then we had all the time in the world.) Its crazy how quickly things can change. I turned my head for one second and then you were gone. Poof, right into the thin air. I closed my eyes, rubbed them, shook my head; I did all I could think of in hopes you would magically return. (But you never did, and I fear you never will) I now sit atop those same traffic lights alone and dejected, pathetically continuing to watch the cars pass us, no now just me, by. I believe if I stay there long enough youll come back to me. (I never was one to think realistically) Every now and then someone will honk at me and wave and it will lift my spirits a little, only to have them crash right back down when
i don't have the heart to call it summer lovewe drank sparkling wateri don't have the heart to call it summer love3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
with the sun stripping us down
to our barest elements.
we were the wind,
two hearts in the air,
unanchored and set at sea.
you would wear your hat
loosely like a ribbon
of air on the top of your head,
and smile with your whole face;
you would imagine what i looked like
in only my underwear
until the next hour when your
your hands becoming excavation
shovels, revelling in discovery-
i had liked you best
when you were naked
on my bed,
head between your knees
as you caught your breath.
this was the last time
i felt good about you,
the last that it was safe
to sink myself into your arms.
i have realised this:
i love you,
but that is not enough.
i'll just embrace
the new space
put between us,
and all one thousand miles
that act like a membrane
between two fluids,
wanting little more
than to mesh
it fails to end me,
the paining i feel,
in my chest,
but i am unsure
sent out to sea,
went down in
upon knowing the answeryou are punctuating.upon knowing the answer3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i find myself asleep beside you
not dreading the most singular transition
between sleeping and sleeping alone
until i am wrapped
in my own bed
with too much space
i like thinking
of how this is not a memory
this is a moment
that is repeating itself
every time we find
the gaps between minutes
and fill them with ourselves,
like photographs i can't wait to take
and imagine so many times
of the lens reflecting us,
and how that feels
my feet are still unsteady
on a ground too nascent for tectonics
but i am feeling promise
in the way the camera catches you
looking at me
in ways i don't see myself
i like to think of how
you touch me
between mountain ranges
it is so jubilant
full like the clouds
forming castles in the heavens
and it is so soft
so lock and key
that i find myself
burning an obsession with heat
under my skin
where your fingers and lips
one if by paper, two if by seai will compare you to a comparisonone if by paper, two if by sea5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
about me just so i can hear you say
"no one's ever said me that before"
i will fold you into an origami swan
and place you in my pocket just so i
never feel alone, never feel unloved.
i will kiss your paper cheeks,
smooth the creases, making a
new crimp. art. manipulation.
i will reform you into an airplane
and toss you into the river. one
more thing: i forgot to fuel you.
i will watch as you pretend
you can evolve into a boat,
and i will watch you drown.
i'm hungry.i imaginei'm hungry.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
whispering to me
as we lay
for the fourth hour
of many more to come.
and i smell
and we're masking
the smell of sex
constellations are just bodiesyou left me in my bed-constellations are just bodies2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i was crying-
when you walked down my stairs
for the last time.
you were to spend the night-
you lived hours away-
until you told me
you couldn't do this
i was fine-
you were just a constellation-
until your words
forced images of my last love
before my mind's eye.
i cried before you-
i hadn't cried in months-
but i didn't cry for you.
in retrospect, as you closed my door-
it was the last time-
my only thought is
why didn't we fuck
before saying goodbye?
viva la gloriawe're going to rule the worldviva la gloria3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
in all of its graffiti-stained
because the city lights,
they're all the same in
we pledge our names with
one night stands,
and slashed tires-
dolce, bella morte! we're all the same
luscious, as we fight our battles like any,
any true armani-hot-topic soldier
all the scars and ammunition,
smudged make-up and strappy shoes
our brief lives under that spotlight
we'll go out with a bang, an explosion
because we're the young and fabulous-
and chipped nailpolish has
never looked so gorgeous, before!
the end, actuallylassitude buildsthe end, actually2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
nests in my bones
as effective at becoming airborne
as the words "i'm sorry"
they just refused to try
the most prominent thought
circling my head
like the words that could soar
there is a big chance
we will not make it through the night,
that i will never be held
in the cage of your eyes
and trapped by a heart
i must be committing
but i do not know which ones-
there just might be
on the number of tears
you can shed
over one person;
we are not snakes
and cannot remove our skin
so we cry instead
but through the heat
i felt that sadness made
over the phone
i saw no end to us
where there would be
no end to us.
you're my escape routei want to escape with you. i want you to meet me halfwayyou're my escape route5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and run away with me, take the skyline for our lifeline and
see where our racing pulses will lead us. i want to travel to
infinity and beyond, but your heartbeat is across state maps
and in the shadows where i can't reach and when i open my
eyes in the morning i am alone in my bed sheets and gasping
because it hurts and i miss you i miss you i miss you next to me.
i want to crash and collide and drift into you. i want to feel
the ocean entangle us both as we lick salt water off our lips
and press our skin closer together as we watch all the waves
wash away the spaces between us, between our reaching
fingertips, between our mismatching twin sized beds too many
miles apart. but truth be told, we're not there yet and i'm dancing along
the currents alone waiting for the world to rotate and bring us closer.
i catch myself getting mesmerized by this moonlight more than i
ever should but i'd give the world to fold the sky in
these roads we travelYou could've been the girl who changed me.these roads we travel3 years ago in Emotional More Like This
I've fallen down and fallen apart enough times that it gets hard to remember, but sometimes I study my scars in the sunlight and trace the patterns back through time. I spend my mornings living in memories, reliving the places I've scuffed myself, and I've found that romance is better in hindsight. Her kisses are sweeter tinged with nostalgia, and it almost feels like I'm whole again when I'm thinking of the dents she put in my pulse and smoothing out the wrinkles she left in my resolve. For a moment, there's equilibrium, but then the sun is setting and I'm disoriented, dropping fragments of myself between cracks in the sidewalk I'm following down the street and towards an independent sunset. I'm standing on the corner and waiting for the light to turn, and you show up with a wayward smile cradled in your fingers. You press it into my grasp and I'm thinking maybe I've spent too much time looking at my flaws instead of my potential.
You could h
if people didn't filter their emotions and justthrowing yourself onif people didn't filter their emotions and just2 years ago in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
floors doesn't fix anything,
but it sure seems to.
leonardwoodi had missed you before i'd met you;leonardwood2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i am missing you before you've left
&today you are gone.
there is nothing,
no drink nor organic acid nor chemical high
to dim the lights on the epilleptic flashes
of love i can't let go,
the panic i blindly follow
as your airplanes leave from boston
&chicago and turn from wings to wheels
as a bus takes you three hours further
to a war zone in missouri.
you told me you loved me
as you vanish for nine months
of the next year.
you promise letters to make up
for the fear you impressed upon us,
love i never let leave,
an empty room i could never stay;
you promised me words
&a heart a thousand miles west
&hopes through two letters a month
that we will not be as broken
as the mirrors i look into,
trying to find what my face looks like
when i know i am wrong.
i want to see the beauty
that men who love me see;
i want to hold onto you
while promising myself to another,
i love you until it hurts
i love you until i can't any more
and i love you sti
things that hurtit was past midnightthings that hurt2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and i was drunk again.
i told myself,
"tonight i will write."
so here i am, the morning after,
looking at pages and pages of
pouring myself another drink.
in the end
i'm still here,
i don't like looking back
and realizing that
i was just
another rebellious kid
under her pillow
realizing all too late that
you were beautiful,
and i gave you away
realizing that, deep down,
even the happiest people are a little sad
realizing that we're always
or too little of
here it is:
irony at its worst.
i feel dead,
but don't bury me yet
i still have things to do.
his caged birds don't singit was like when we were fivehis caged birds don't sing6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and unable to drown the fish
in your mothers aquarium.
we later realized that we could drown them.
we could do so by taking them out of water
and we did.
it was like when we were ten
and i would find you in the backyard
of your moss-covered house,
sitting on a lawn chair with bare feet
and rolled up jeans.
you would sit there all day,
filling plain paper with pictures and words
that no one would ever understand.
it was like when we were fifteen
and you would spend your time standing
as close to the cliff as you could without falling
but i think you were secretly hoping
that someday youd slip.
it was like today
when you were finally the first to look away.
what do you want most? you once asked.
back then i wanted a lot of things.
i wanted to believe that sex was only science,
like you did.
i wanted to live in a world where nameless,
faceless people could pretend
they were something more than no
presumptionsi know i'm a very common-,presumptions3 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
i look like i floss my teeth
at least once a week
and have never worn
like i devour books like candy
and never talked during class.
it's funny when people are nothing like how they look.
so let me tell you something,
let me set you straight:
i'd have you believe
i'm not some heavily medicated girl
with snakes up and down her body
in bright red rows, all raw and scabbed and
constant, ceaseless, neverending reminders of fucked-up and failure...
but it never took much for you to talk me into bed.
letting you think i'm some perfect porcelain figurine
without cracks all up my spine is about as ok as forging your mom's signature;
meaning it's alright as long as it's nothing serious.
and maybe that's the problem.
playing hopscotch cross-continent all summer and
making a patchwork quilt out of our travels when the cold sets in
is a pretty serious stab at giving us another go.
i can deal with touch, i just might shudder
the words and the silence_c.words are what brought us together.the words and the silence_c.4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
it was the sentences and the phrases, the way the vowels sounded when you murmured them over state lines. it was the way i could hear your tongue roll and your teeth click; the sensual sighs between the beginning and the end. it was the way i could hear the ocean in your voice and the way i could feel the typhoon at the base of my spine. there was no friction between your fingertips and my flesh. there was no raised hairs from the tide of your breath. it was the language and the way we forged it between upraised hands and a prayer. it was the promise of tomorrow and the carved stone we left on our porch step - knowing one day our sails would fill with more than just hope.
Dreams are what gave our words life.
Oh, there was glory in the romance we dreamt of. We saw a legend in our tale, awaiting a serendipitous encounter and we craved to carve out its epic climax with our bare fingertips. Yes there was glory, and even pride. Pride that ou
a thorough submissioni have found my heart-a thorough submission2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
it has put itself into this.
my hesitations are little more
than bad habits,
filed somewhere between
biting my nails and always saying i'm sorry.
the expectation of the winds
blowing softer til they ceased
ended with your mouth on mine;
the nerves fraying from fear
have been tended to with needle and thread;
and the water i so wiklfully wouldn't touch
feels warmer as it inches
like your hands
up my ankles to my bare knees.
i have found my heart-
it has put itself into this.
my stomach turns the ocean calm
when i think of the messes i'll make,
and the sewing you will stitch.
and i'm terrified
like nightmares that don't dissolve upon waking
for the ending weeks of winter
when you leave for the great missouri banks.
my heart is found,
put in this,
and slipping and mending
and messes commonplace,
i am finally feeling
the warmth the rest of this brings,
the fire i'd fought so hard
for no other reason
than to stifle our joy.
when the eastern sun sinksi wonder if you wouldwhen the eastern sun sinks3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
change your mind
find it in your
to feel a little something
if you saw the words
you've pulled from
uncovered by your lips,
i find poems under my hands.
i write strophes and lines
imprinted on your skin
when i move my fingers away.
i have so much to
i could give you so much
but you slink like a
nightcrawler from light
to a comfortable recession,
we will talk again
and no stammered heart
will beat like birds
if our hands touch;
you will realise
that sooner than you have,
you could have
shared your self
with someone else
and been safe-
you would have been