trespassing slipthe soul is numbered into a cohesive pattern. graphed for the mathematical masterminds and swallowed by the sea. it is drawn on earth-colored paper and taped to backs; for no one has the right to see their soul or steal it, just to roll it in mud or take it off when they feel overdressed. she's always overdressed for you but strays, too afraid to slip her hands down, over, off. she replies with tiny licking phrases and sheathes her eyes behind a clear mask. so useless. so so ashamed. to blame. we blame you.
talk is nothing but meal to fill the empty stomachs of air. we make it fat with nonsense and diseased desires. the others are just fifteen and free to dream, so free. free attaches to falling in a revolution of seconds and we are the most captive prisoners of all.
you have sweet dreams of tongues slipping down your throat, of medicine. i live to trail your insides but die to move beyond skin. barriers break our chemicals down to singular strands of written codes read only by nature.
never told youi always drink too much ofnever told you4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
this fashionable spring air
but enough isn't me.
gold, god, we climb over
every hill and fall in love
with breaded earth again and again.
i dream of you in payphone
booths when i think of home,
smiling my signal through the chords
hoping it will replace
a lover's flesh.
but sweating all these colors fresh,
oh, it's something to see,
something to me
because we run in empty fields
while you sit cramped inside,
barely pumping the blood around your toes.
come on, darling, you know.
when we drive i sing into memory;
do you remember when i fell
out of your tree? you ran and picked me
up and even though i was seeing stars i
tried on love like a slip
it fit me to fit you.
lover, though the water's where
i'm most alive i miss that
one word, home, for you.
am i just too much?
fever dreams won't be
enough to touch.
miss the waterfalls
all those clouds
during hot weather
i curtsy to the bandits
and play my piano sweet
eating up the world to feel
it in my s
backward respirationfinding a place to rest in a mess of the boomingbackward respiration5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
overflowing cataclysm of cells breathing together breaks no surface. we want to be married and to have small children before the universe inverts itself backwards and wears us like a diamond.
i fall between cracks in crystal sand that nestle in the air and hide in my shoes, so no one tastes it coating their gums. gums taste like trees and so many leaves eating out every thought. all. i like beauty but dancing makes my vessels split into two, the glass capillaries oozing from under my muscles and into the earth. fame is all i need to love myself.
people look in mirrors and see what they never desired, but give it, live it, for how they were told. raise your young as yourself so you'll still be here when the rocks collapse underneath us. finding rest places, probably, never premiering our human bones on the theatre screen. we're all small but tall with all we call to hold in fingers, from clouds to just vapor. i want to read meaning on a s
wish i was worth itplease don't need me.wish i was worth it5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
my skin prickles and i shiver
under crowded carpets
i am so
falling over gin mouths
and crystallized fingers
under my eyelids.
you like me to be there
to hurt for you
'cause i'm worth no more than that
and i guess i should say i'm
sorry for letting
you crawl this far under
each little nerve on my
spine but it won't help
i know i'm sorry
am i weak or do you,
do you love me?
can iwill you let me
be more than a tool, an absorber of the
fears falling from your tongue?
i wish i could be more
than one little girl
in a collage of countless others.
i wish you wouldn't
oh i wish you wouldn't
but you persist and now
there are bruises on my
chest, i've taken all the
blows, i can't feel.
i don't love it
i don't love you
please don't need me
(do you love you?)
alas, i am gonethe shapes of birds on your lips,alas, i am gone5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
they leave me with only
feathers under my skin.
i never meant
to love you.
you were my only mistake,
big enough to break earth,
a downfall far down
enough to break my bones,
only opening up further
an angry mouth
jagged teeth peeling up the corners
wider still to swallow me whole.
you are the worst thing
that has ever happened to me.
and it still fills up my soul
to hear you talk.
just to hear you breathe,
just to know you're alive
it still fills me up
no matter how much
you empty me out
and i wish i could hate you for it.
sidestitchesi am a spinster, a classic fablesidestitches5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
spinning away with my needles
folded neatly in my hands.
i sew hearts just to rip them apart
at the seams all undone.
too much poison.
the soldiers fed me too much dirt
and lies so i've been hiding them
between my crooked teeth
with the lords and ladies of
endless pasts collapsible into a
paragraph, a word, a letter.
i need a different kind of letter.
indian summer has its way with you
when you use it for your work.
it swallows you and will drag
you back into freeze if you look
away long enough.
i am a spinster,
not even a widow, no young to
carry in my mouth to spit out over a cookfire.
she never felt herself or human without
a boy attached to her arm, fumbling with her limbs
and putting her back together only to pull her
apart again at the joints.
reminiscent of my stitched hearts,
except they like to chew off the flesh
and me i like to pretend.
we pour poison into our glasses because
there's nothing else to do
and bodies are disposable
pretty things make graveshiding leaves beneath my tonguepretty things make graves4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i circle prey like a whirlpool
and keep lyrics under the stairs
i hear your playful wallows bringing sores
to the roof of your mouth from here
numbers and letters in an epitaph,
mangling sweet stairs.
i wish you wouldn't waltz down here
but you always do, seeing him out
the door and decorating the room
with your smile.
then i imagine all of you blood red
and laugh myself to sleep,
singing like a bird exposed to winter
dreaming of stealing you with
the mouth of the fox,
your staircase body climbing
into my stomach.
your wallows would bubble up
and transform my laughter beautiful
i'd escape to the place beneath the stairs.
in love with all the graves i've set,
i'll never let you free.
am i caught to every floor?suddenly there is a fake yellow light slashing its way through the backs of my eyes. my face had been turned all sideways to stare at the lonely blue-patterned wallpaper and everything feels icy and laced with chemicals that don't pierce through all the dirt, so it lies there, coating my arms and reflecting my eyes. stitching my gaze all around the room, i rest my careful eyes on the leaves of my life blowing in the wind, hidden there in the corners of everything. the leaves are dying, you know. dying, all blown around the edges and the green creeping out of their insides. my arms look sick yellow and i keep thinking that everything feels like it's dying over and over again. i never thought so much death could begin and end in one small room with only one window to breathe through, with all these cold-blooded tiles.am i caught to every floor?5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
my house and my stomach are hollow and empty, every essence that lingers inside them thrown right down the drain and left somewhere in the metal bowels to stagnate and drop
chordiality-where are you tonight?chordiality4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i stay locked inside my own skin
every second i live.
i take apart the useless blue appendix,
pull it from my mouth,
up throat, out of the solar system
into every me there ever was.
we're always here
for no one cares what the others say
they hate being more than matter
and formula, a perfect equation
always divisible by two, no less.
i am divisible by all the holes
in my jaw, where my smile used to
cradle my face like a bastardized doll.
sewed eyes tweak my skin
with cool wire where all the fenced
unconsecrated ease into my
dolls wouldn't like
this minced play,
they live on the shallow side
of all our smiles.
risks and shreds and stitches
tell me all i'll ever be.
i swear they'll know my
name out loud--
i swear they never, ever will
and i'd fall into the
same grave a thousand times.
i'll die before twenty-five
burnt out, you know
but after the burn the smoke
always fades away
so i synchronize with the
all this timei guess i thought i was worth somethingall this time5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
for a while. really.
guess i just found out that's not true.
it's your fault, you pulled
lies through my eyes and now
you don't remember me.
i'll never be great enough to
write poems like some fucking
prodigy, about ducks and flowers
poetry is hilarious i eat it
in the morning for a snack while
i laugh about thoughtless child-like words
and nothing. i hate the way you smile.
i hate the way the world won't stop spinning,
won't fucking stop spinning, spins me down
the hallways i imagine in
the corners of my mind because i know
they don't belong to me.
i try to be brilliant but it gets
stuck in a skipping tape
jammed deep into my stomach
like a sunken wreck in the sea.
the words refuse to escape my hand
and instead form themselves about my head
in salt water, mocking me
when i pretend to be a poet.
i've lost my old touch
that never began.
you don't care.
i'm not anything,
success is measured in teaspoons
i'm medicated, how are you?stadium lights fill me. shouts from that perfect distant field where the drunk pretend to run and shine collapse in my ears; fall along my tongue. it's a film on rewind. we're moving backward in time. it's only high school, only collective grudges for authority pooled into one migraine of brick and mortar. medicated.i'm medicated, how are you?5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
but tonight, we are free. more medicated than ever. i like the sound of loud giggles in empty night and spring itching my shoulders. we are pure as trees and we are permanent. he pulls the bottle from his red sweatshirt pocket and laughs at her, the sand-blonde with her browndrown eyes, as she cracks jokes about liberals and idiot guys who wear makeup or something. disgusting, she says, and he takes a long, smiling swig, then passing the prejudiced disheartening doves down her throat and around bends.
i don't know them. i'm just as high as the rest, too. the shouts blend into a song shaking the skin off my bones. we, free, so free, climb in trees and smoke al
implosionsthe whale ate my hungerimplosions5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and now i'm a ghost,
pills setting off bombs
in the mine of my body
turning my blood toxic
and bursting the shafts
into a precarious spin.
i'll live in the spaces between
the walls without you
and pretend the stairs don't exist.
you're a tunnel behind my eyes
and it is starting to block my vision
between breaths and false eyelashes
sweat is not sweet and i'd like
you to stop
couldn't you tell me which road?
the signs are read backwards and i might be going blind today.
crowned with my own broken chair
i take the graveled road spelling east.
i might be beautiful today.
the pills you've eaten
don't really love you
and they do abhor tracing the
train tracks on the inside
of your hollow throat
can't you see?
the whale left me in the
stomach of the ocean
and i can't swim with
pills lathering me
i think we've got it bad.the long dirty road has wheels printed into it and buildings jutting from its sides, cars stopping completely, submissive to all the too-bright light. it's freezing but i feel okay, i feel whole. i feel like i could step outside of myself and the numbness of it all wouldn't let anything touch me. the essence of me. the idea of me.i think we've got it bad.5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
you wait for me under the street signs with your heeled shoes and too much black smeared around your eyes. it makes you look sad but maybe you want to look sad i don't really know. your hugs feel like a mother's. we're going to a party, some great musician's with golden toilets in his loft that likes prostituted girls like you and maybe a guy like me at his house because we're warm and smudged, the unreadable, undetectable ink. you don't even talk to me, you just hold my arm like a child with your skinny legs steering me the rightest way
we get there, we finally get there, and i decide i want to be mindless, breathless drunk all for the fun of it while you go
a thing like lovei believe in love like some believe in god,a thing like love5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
bending over backwards, cause
finally you found something
that will keep you from dying,
finally you found something
that gives you hope,
a home in a war zone,
a sanctuary for sanity,
finally you found your heart,
lost in that hollow body of yours,
always too afraid to excavate
its caves on your own,
always afraid of the monsters
you'll find in its corners,
you were always hiding from things that might have been.
and when you finally opened your eyes,
there was love at your feet,
waiting to be made.
where forever is caughtround revolutions around your eyelids let the light fall in little beams to the pupil, dancing in circles. you are curved as a lens and you refract my words in and out of your ears.where forever is caught5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i'm lost. even light can't escape from you; they reflect back and forth, in frantic circles. you're edgeless but sharp, slicing me like a blade with no handle.
there are slow, sweet marks swirling on your arms, moving carefully with the thrum of the earth's core-- the cuts from the sharp blade you're made of, crawling in your veins.
so we keep treading this path. i think it will never end and we'll end up repeating all our mistakes and it will never change. but you think one day circles will break into squares and we can walk straight off the fence and into paradise. one of us is lying.
lies falling from your mouth and collecting in red pools, to be stored in glass jars locked deep in the whirling paths of the mind; i feel them when you're not looking. when we're exploring our own labyrinths a
weightlessshe had words dripping like sweat from her skin and flowy cloth glancing across her shoulder. when it was always summer, she ran along the beach and collapsed into herself, her long gold hair more gold when water hit. her mouth held oceans inside of it, green and blue and off-color lace sewed by the sea.weightless5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
eyes stitched to every horizon she ever saw, she wondered where her breath would take her after she swallowed the midnight chill. she was perfect and flawed all at once, wrapping her, breathing wind into the feathers in her hair. she'd be in movies and she'd sing with her unreal voice that would sound like the song of the sea and have the beat of native drums. she'd dance prettier than a hummingbird. she sees in full color and when she is sad it's almost happy because she is such a painting, such a perfect girl.
she was my dream.
but dreams just push us father, deeper into fake minds and plastic towns, unbelievable children and birds that always fly in vision. i run from her because sh
send my synapse in a packagei will carefully attach the ribbons of blood with paper and string the words across my bedroom in your honor, dear.send my synapse in a package5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i will peacefully pull the bones out of my skin just for you; they always itched there anyway so it is like i have been relieved of the pressure rocking beneath my skin.
i will lovingly carve your name into the drywall and hope to some kind of heaven that it stays there so that when we're gone, people will see it and wonder who exactly wrote it and what it means. i want something more tangible than memories.
i will dully shade my eyes when i realize they lack the logic to hang you from the willow trees and to breathe down your neck all the way to the river.
there is a shiver in my heartbeat and i swear i don't think enough. take some of the blue away and replace them with gray under my eyelids and seejustsee things from open breaths, closed breaths
my words are tangled.
it has gotten so i don't even understand a single thing i say and i should just speak a different langu
billowed eyesin the late night, my mother and i spoke under the kitchen's dieing light, the cool air pouring through the windows and the tired eyes resting over darkened, midnight half-moons.billowed eyes5 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
i listened with tapping of the rain, the awkward clink of tea and evening tableware, my mother's breath - yours ghosting down my back - the collapsing gravity, the mere shaking of my fingers, the faint creaks of the floorboards, the racking of my collar, cracking little by little, breaking, falling, making me realize
you are but my gravity, the brittle in my bone, the every mere word i write to paper, the ghost hidden under my every footstep and breath. you are my lung, my every organ, my function and flesh, very being and
i want you to hold me callused against the gravity, arms not snaking, but firm. i want you to be the tower, the immovable, the composed rock. i want you to hold me against the dystrophy, be the sail on the billowing ship, the antebellum before the war, the cannon fodder, my resting harbor ag
georgian stones.DO YOU KNOW HOW SAD YOU MAKE MEgeorgian stones.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
HOT BREATH OF A DRAGON
ON THE INSIDE OF MY HIPS
CRESTING WAVES BREAKING WISHBONES
WITH STAINED SEASIDE SHIPS
I AM WINTER WITHOUT YOU.
I AM TUCKED INSIDE THE PAGES
OF BOOKS YOU'VE NEVER READ,
EVERY PAGE YOU'LL NEVER SEE
WITH MY HANDPRINT FOLDED ALONG
YOU WILL ALWAYS FORGET ME.
I AM WALLOWING AND SWALLOWING
MOUTHFUL AFTER MOUTHFUL AFTER
MOUTHFUL OF SALT WATER
THE SEA BREAKING EVEN ON MY TONGUE
THE FIRE NEVER CEASING IN MY LUNGS,
I AM LEFT WITH SMOKE.
blue babyhello i find your big blue eyes swimming aroundblue baby4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
my ankles often. small, subtle fish that
follow me everywhere i go. normally i would
protest to being followed
but not when i'm followed by you
grass feels good, cigarette smokes good, car runs good
hello i'm scaling the moldings of the universe twenty solar systems away,
i'm holding stars and not even worried about breathing.
ashes, ashes, we all!
can't stay hung up in the sky forever,
but the thing about you
kid is that you always take me there
breaded bodyyou focus so madly on the wallsbreaded body5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
created from the bones of dead labor,
payed in gold and forgotten in graves.
the old house speaks for you,
without it you'd break--
creaking, whirled flooring
scratches under your lungs
you'd like to be dead inside
the stomach of the walls sometimes
when the trees dream of hanging your
heart on their branches
strung over the vacant, pale gaps between their
the fireplace is always empty
but for your mother's fresh ashes
and with a breeze, do you think
they'd all just blow away?
no graves to dig, visit,
breathe into hoping to bring-back.
there is no flesh.
only a detached thought
mingled in the static of
the air you used to breathe.
past the circles you burned into the floor
past the window glass, made fake with images and crystals
past the bold carved doorway.
and right when you see
her hanging in the trees,
you pitch forward,
it's a shame your bones
are so broken;
capillariestwisted fingerscapillaries5 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
small and alive
brushing your blushed neck
pulling your heart from your mouth
what kind of poet am i?i have never drankwhat kind of poet am i?5 years ago in Scraps More Like This
and i have never had sex
i am not a bottle
filled with sand like regret,
and i do not smoke.
i am wrapped in a robe of scars,
and my heart is pepper.
it is spiced and it is littered
with holes through which light
does and does not pass.
i have never awakened
to an empty bed
shared in the night and
broken in the morning.
i have never been in love
with a sheet of skin that i have touched.
i use touch as a coping mechanism.
wanting as a coping mechanism.
it makes me feel like a human
but unlike a poet.
what kind of poet am i?
eric and valerie and loveher name is ellie this week. last week it was jane. the week before, julie. kate. breanne. cindy. anna. vicky. dina. leslie. talia. rebecca.eric and valerie and love5 years ago in Scraps More Like This
they all blended together -- eric loved a rainbow of women. their skin was tan but not deep, and not cream. their eyes were not blue but not brown. their teeth were not straight but not crooked, not white but not yellowed. they were indistinguishable and insignificant.
except valerie. the closest eric came to loving was valerie. she was beautiful. that's why he couldn't love her.
his heels caught fire as he cast a shadow along the west coast. he was a cloud of smoke and heroin. he was lightning with tennis shoes. he was a natural disaster. he stopped in chicago to light up, in detroit
a laugh will cost you--have you seen the girl with the sad, cold eyesa laugh will cost you--5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and down-turned mouth? she's always in a frown, a coma of malleable lips pushed like clay. perhaps they were formed by the phantoms behind her teeth, or the myths drowning in her wet mouth. they say she has evil eyes. stained ones.
i talked to her one dark morning when she sat writing letters into a wood desk. i said, "hi." and she looked at me and turned away. so did i. the next day she walked up to me out of nowhere and she said, "you're weak." and then she smiled real crooked, a poison kind of smile. she told me stories about broken love and the snakes under her skin instead of blood. she's their cocoon and they're too afraid to shed her off. a writhing, rocky heart ate away at her insides, giving the snakes something to eat, she told me. that was why she was too skinny and pale-blooded. cold-blooded. zero-blooded.
she made the most gruesome jokes, too. i couldn't tell you 'cause i forgot them all but she did. and i always wa