Do Not DisturbYou know, there's nothing more tempting than a closed door.
So, you can imagine what I thought when I was a wee little girl and I first saw that armoire in my Grandmother's home. She lived in the French country-side, and every break in the winter-time, we would spend with her.
My Grand-mère loved to entertain us children with stories of her childhood, and old French fairy-tales that her Grandma had told her when she was our age. She especially told us about her cabinet. The one she called cachette.
Grand-mère told adventure stories, of love and life and death. The main character of her story was always a red headed girl with almond-shaped eyes that was painfully shy (at this point, my little sister would exclaim that it was me, for I did have red hair and I never spoke more than I needed too). My cousins and I would ask for our personal favorite stories about this little red-haired girl. My favorite was told like this:
The child's family had moved from England to Germa
I Get Mad."I get mad." she saysI Get Mad.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
But her room is perfect
And her parents tell
Of a sweet-tempered angel
"But when I get mad...I don't smash things. Or yell."
She rolls up her sleeves.
Soft, porcelain skin
Marred with red, ragged lines
"Only sometimes.." she whispers
But it seems too much
To be nothing
Like she claims
It Almost Feels like CheatingRight now,It Almost Feels like Cheating4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I don't care who's arms I'm in.
They're all the |s|a|m|e|;
Just shells of people with names that don't matter;
None of them are you
I wish I was better then this,
That I wasn't some whore seeking some attention just so she's not so
a l o n e
But baby, what can I do?
You're gone & there's nowhere for me to go;
I've lost my direction, darling.
I wish I could be strong;
& not just sit here and try to lock away
Painful, S-U-F-F-O-C-A-T-I-N-G memories,
Memories that used to make m
Dying slowly.Why?Dying slowly.4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
One minute we were laughing.
On our first date,
You gave me butterflies,
Our first kiss
Sticks in my mind,
Reminding me of how we once were
Not a care for anything,
Eyes only for each other.
Laying in the park
My eyes watering half from
The smell of fresh grass
Half from laughing at your jokes...
Now my eyes water
But not from grass or jokes
We are not who we once were-
Something has changed.
Innocence is lost,
And we're to blame.
We fight and argue-
Only to make up again.
But each time we do
It's like we leave part of us
We still say we're in love,
But maybe we've forgotten
What love is.
The important question is:
Do we want to remember?
The Stopping of TimeTimeThe Stopping of Time3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
For no one
Red and salt, but not from the same area
This can either be sex
Red welts rising on the skin
From the water
-ing on skin
Red splotches covering the skin
From the scrubbing
"You've been so quiet lately."
"Are you alright?"
"Your grades are dropping."
"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"
"What happened to your boyfriend?"
They don't try to talk anymore
Everyone is gone
No point in them staying
No use in them pretending
No one likes a whore
You chose sex. So it wasn't rape.
So you wanted it.
And the nightmare continues
Oh, god, the nightmares
You're always running-
But you can never escape the MoNsTeR
i promisei know i'm different. i know i mess up. i know i'm a bit of a fuck up. i know my opinions stand a bit stronger than others. i know i can be highly confusing.i promise4 years ago in Emotional More Like This
but one thing i know for sure beyond anything else is that i love you.
you, my dear sweet emily, who means the world to me. i made promises to you that i plan to keep. you don't deserve anymore pain. you don't deserve to feel broken anymore. i want you. i need you.
you are my angel, my sunshine, my sweetness...all i want is you. i want to be able to repair your heart and erase your scars. i will be there for you as soon as i can be, i promise. i am proud to be yours and be in love with you. i hope someday soon i can hold you for real while we watch our childhood favorites giving each other popcorn and sneaking kisses. i want to meet all our friends and let them get to know me and hopefully like me. i want to hear you sing, to me and only me...we just need to keep being patient.
i just want you to know you are the best thing that's
Out of Sight"out of sight but not out of mind"Out of Sight4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
we can hide the cuts and scars
but we will still think about them
we can hide the razor
but we will know it's still there
we can hide the cigarettes
but they will come back sooner or later
we can hide the anger
but eventually we will explode
we can hide the sadness
but soon the masks will break
we can hide all the problems in our lives
but someone will eventually find out
we can always try to hide things
but they will never truly be gone
Untold wordsThere was always this feeling that was holding me back.Untold words4 years ago in Emotional More Like This
Everytime I tried to get over you, I could never do it. I just couldn't forget everything. It just kept on coming back. It hurts me very much.
I try and seal those emotions away, deep in my heart.
Maybe... maybe I just had the feeling that we could build it together again. We could relive all those memories. The good ones.. even the bad ones... b-but.. it'd make me the happiest girl if we could just erase all those bad memories and replace them with new and happier ones. I know that's unlikely though.
I don't even know why I feel this way. Maybe because you were so caring, loving and awesome...? Maybe because you were the first person to ever tell me "I LIKE YOU"?
--Even now. I still think there's hope. Hope for us to get back together...It's been over a year now, yes?
I want to rebuild such a connection. Even if you're moving schools... I still want to make one again.
I miss hearing your voice...
I miss staring straight in
Not yetYou cant go. Not yet...I still have everything in that broken drawer in my dresser.Not yet4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You cant leave. Not yet...I still remember your breath on my neck. I still remember the warmth I felt in your arms. I still remember you.
You can't say goodbye. Not yet...I'm still in love with you. I'm still sad when your not around. I'm still just stupid me.
You can't hang up. Not yet...I don't want to never hear your voice again. I cant not hear it in the back of my head.
You can't say you don't know. Not anymore...because I'm not over you...Not yet.
Greater ExpectationsLove...Greater Expectations4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
This doesn't feel the way I was told it would feel.
There's nothing effortless about it:
Love requires work.
There are no romantic words said in public:
Love doesn't need words.
There's no fluttering of my heart when you're near:
It instead falls into rhythm with yours.
There's none of that "I'd die for you" nonsense:
You already know I wouldn't let you.
But you know what?
I think I rather like this kind of Love,
If that's what this is.
I want to make an effort for you.
I want to love you privately, not for the benefit of others.
I want to feel secure around you.
I want you to live for me
Not die for me.
Who wants that?!
People making each others hearts flutter
And people dying for one another
Are putting their health at risk anyway.
i hate myselffor breaking your hearti hate myself4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
losing your trust
causing so many tears
i don't deserve you
i don't deserve anything
maybe i should stop trying
Self you need to seeHeartSelf you need to see4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I want you to stop
I want you to stop hurting
yes I know you are broken by her
That she told you she loved you
But she doesn't
She loves her now
I know you are missing a part of you
She just hasn't quite returned it yet
you need to stop
Look away from her
Yes I know she is beautiful beyond belief
That she still makes that poor heart skip a beat
I know you can't stand to see
Her kissing her
The way she kissed me
I wish you would have told me to stop
That it was a bad idea
To fall in love
Because you keep me in constant replay
Of every memory we once shared
Control it all
Because right now I am weak
I need you to be strong
control my face so she can't see
That she has caused me so much misery
It will be okay
I promises we are better then this
Love will find us again
Until then just take it day by day
to say i love youonce upon an empty worldto say i love you3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you existed and i set my eye on you
because you glowed with a magic
renounced to all in
brown-eyed, sleek-haired glory
i loved you.
i loved you for your uncanny ability to
charm an audience with your
wayward smiles like fleeting glances
and your spark of candle light alone
in darkened chambers
drew me irresistibly to the warmth of your glow
i waited, for what else was there to do
when you could stop my heart
in its beaten rocky tracks
and work a magic over crumbled promises
split down the middle and returned
i languished in the agony of your beauty
and a softness you withheld from me
or i was yet too cowardly to reach out and
caress for myself
so you lost yourself in my
unsaid words and i waited
for your hunger to leap aside
i lusted after lowercase feelings of despair
despite your untapped warnings
of a love dangled before my
red-rimmed eyes on rose bush thorns
like the petals of blood red and inky black
i placed o
let her escapeLet go of herlet her escape4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The love you felt should be nothing to you now
Let go of her hand
Let her make her escape
Don't hold her back any longer
You know you never deserved her
Let the rain fall without her near you
Let the laughter bubble without her
Let others find love, and be joyful
Have the bliss you once had
LET GO OF HER
What is Reality NowI never imagined that I would be the oneWhat is Reality Now4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Who picked up the razor
Who picked up the addicting habit
I never really thought about it before
If I ever did the only thought was
That I was too scared
Look at me now
More often then I should
Craving it now
I do not know
Who I am turning into
I never imagined that I would be the one
Who picked up the gun
Who picked up the the life ending weapon
I never really thought about it before
If I ever did the only thought was
That I was too scared
Imagine me in the future
Trying to die
I always thought it would be scary
I have already defied one fear
Who says I won't defy this one too?
Shout It Out LoudYouShout It Out Loud4 years ago in Emotional More Like This
One of Those MoodsIt doesn't matter how much you love someone. They'll always find a way to hurt you, even unintentionally. And even so you cannot keep from unconditionally caring for that person and it just tears you apart even more because just the memory of the hurt can cut open the stitches recently put in place. In a way you just relive the pain over and over again, these sufferings being even worse than the original event because you were tricked into thinking you were okay.One of Those Moods4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
In the end it's impossible to find anyone but yourself to blame because that person is still beautiful in your eyes and it's thought that any one thing you messed up could have brought this anguish to you; and you sometimes believe it's more than you deserve. When you look back on it many years later the proper logic may be present, but in the weeks or months during which you are torn between extreme self pity and self disdain the world can be collapsing around you, even within you.
You may find small ways to punis
In the endI loved you.In the end4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I gave you everything that I had,
That I was, and still I wasn't enough.
I waited for six fucking months,
But did that mean anything?
Of course not.
How can you come home
And not even call?
You're "giving me up?"
What am I, a bad habit?
You can't just turn your back,
Forget about what we had
And just walk away?
You can't change who you are.
Sexuality isn't "interchangeable."
I thought you were stronger than that.
No matter how deep you bury
Who you truly are,
No matter how hard you pretend,
You'll still be the sweet,
Gentle man that I fell in love with.
What the fuck do you expect me to do,
Move on, just as easily as you have?
Forget the last ten years?
But I'm not a heartless bastard like you.
I'm Not the SameI used to laugh openly,I'm Not the Same4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I used to cry in someone's arms,
I used to smile at jokes,
I used to love people,
I used to care,
I used to be human,
But I'm not the same as I was, then.
TryWhy couldn't you try...Try4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
See if you could make it!
I was prepared,
Prepared to love you,
Prepared to die for you.
You did nothing!
You could have tried,
Made me see a reason for what i was doing.
The pain and the sorrow,
Present every waking moment
I didn't want to lose you,
I still don't!
I still wish that you would just try,
Just let go....
I wish I could say..I couldn't say this too you, I wish I could have but I was to scared.I wish I could say..4 years ago in Emotional More Like This
I love you because whenever I see you my heart starts to skip and I can't wait to have you in my arm,
I love you because your beautiful and no-one can take that from you.
You lure everyone in with your eyes but you've entrapped me forever.
I love you because you was always by my side when things where crashing down around me,
I love you because you made me see that not everyone is the same and I was able to trust you.
I love you because no-one in the world matters more to me that you,
I wish that night would go faster and days slower so I can be in your arms for longer.
I love you because you act the way you want to and don't care what people say.
I LOVE YOU what more can I say.
FamilyCan you remember the night when we first met?Family3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It was freezing. And dark too, but you could still see me, crouching on the pavement underneath the broken street-lamp.
I was crying, do you remember that? How you came up to me, a stranger, and you gave me your new hoodie. And a hug.
You wiped away my tears
And you asked me why I was so sad.
I told you everything, my whole life story. All my pains, all my insecurities, all the things that eat away at my insides until I'm hollow.
You kissed me, when I stopped talking. It was so soft, so gentle. You gave me your number, and told me to call you if I ever felt like crying again.
And I did.
A few saturdays later.
Do you remember?
We went to pizza hut, in town. I wanted to order a salad, but you told me I was perfect.
It was sunny that day, so warm and cosy. Especially with you.
We spent 6 hours together, lying on the grass, then we had to part.
But do you remeber all the other times?
When we danced in your room to My Chemical Romance
Until we p
What is wrong?Can't sleep, Can't eat.What is wrong?4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Words don't work
Pictures tell lies
I can't show you
I can't tell you
Am I sick?
Have I gone mad?
My interest is lost
My life is dull
The colour is gone
Nothing seems real
It all seems fake
The way you smile
The way you laugh
Little Known Facts About LiesThe worst part of liesLittle Known Facts About Lies4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Are never the lies
It's the fact of that person thought
You were too incompetent and naïve
To understand the truth
It's the fact of that person
Didn't think you were worth the truth
They might have thought they were protecting you
When in reality
The fact is that those feelings start to take over
And that is what truly kills a person
Not the lie itself
But the aftermath of finding out the truth
Emo? I think notSo, because I have cuts on my wrists, arms, legs, hips and stomach, I am Emo.Emo? I think not4 years ago in Emotional More Like This
Emo is for losers with nothing better to do
Emo is a fad that people follow because it's "cool" to cut yourself.
Emo is a label applied to everyone who self harms, whether they are or not
Emo is a derogatory term used by teenagers to make fun of cutters
Emo is a word belonging only to those who have no REAL reason to be sad.
I, my friend, am a cutter...
Being a cutter is feeling completely worthless.
Being a cutter is feeling like your heart has been ripped to bloody shreds, without it's constant beat ever ceasing.
Being a cutter is not wanting to get up in the morning because you feel like no one would give a fuck if you weren't there.
Being a cutter is not knowing where you get the strength to continue living.
Being a cutter is considering suicide as the only way things will ever get any better.
Being a cutter is wishing for a serious accident to land them in the hospital to see if anyone cares