A Simpsons' Christmas (chapter 3)A Simpsons' ChristmasA Simpsons' Christmas (chapter 3)2 years ago in Sketches More Like This
Lisa: Should we tell Mom what happened to Dad's car? *Lisa put her seatbelt on*
Homer: Uh, kids Let's just pretend that 'thing' with the car, never happened.
Lisa: Ok, Dad *Lisa sighed sadly*
Bart: It'll cost ya, Homer!
Homer: How much? *Homer looked at Bart with mild frustration*
Bart: Ten bucks. *Bart opened and closed his hand as if to say 'Gimme'*
Seymour: Not in my car, young man! *Seymour started driving his car*
Homer: He sure told you, boy! *Homer laughed at Bart*
Bart: Are we there yet?
Bart: Are we there yet?
Bart: Are we there yet?
Bart: Are we there yet?
Bart: Are we there yet?
Bart: Are we there yet?
Bart: Are we there yet?
Bart: Are we there yet?
Bart: Thank god! *Bart jumped out of the car*
Lisa: Just in time. *Lisa looked at Homer then got out of the car quickly*
Seymour: Ok everyone, remember to stick
A Simpsons' Christmas (chapter 2)A Simpsons' ChristmasA Simpsons' Christmas (chapter 2)2 years ago in Sketches More Like This
Bart: I'm okay!
Homer: No! I'm not ok! *Homer sobbed*
Lisa: What is it, Dad!?!
Homer: I'll never get the lifetime supply of bottled water!!!!
Lisa: Ok, at least we're all ok
Homer: I didn't hear the address I was supposed to send my details to! Why is life so cruel! *Homer wailed loudly*
Bart: We're never gonna get the stupid tree!
Seymour: Good Lord! Is everyone ok?! *Seymour leaped out of his car to aid the Simpsons* (Seymour had been driving past when Homer crashed. Seymour had been out doing errands for Agnes)
Bart: Could it get any worse?
Lisa: Yes, Principal Skinner. Everyone is fine.
Seymour: Let me at least give you a ride home.
Lisa: We weren't going home, we were going to get a Christmas tree. I guess we'll have to walk there now.
Homer: Walk!?! *Homer and Bart groaned*
Seymour: I'm on my way to buy a Christmas tree for Mother. Want to come along?
Lisa: Thank you for the kind offer but we coul-
A Simpsons' Christmas (prologue)A Simpsons' ChristmasA Simpsons' Christmas (prologue)2 years ago in Sketches More Like This
Marge: Homie, can you go down with the kids to buy a Christmas tree? I have to do the Christmas shopping. (Christmas the year before had been not much short of a failure due to the fact that Homer forgot to do the Christmas shopping)
Homer: Do I HAVE to??? *Homer moaned*
Marge: It's Christmas tomorrow, and I don't want this family to have another 'crisis'. *Marge glanced sternly at Homer*
Lisa: Can we Dad?
Bart: Yeah, c'mon Homer!
Homer: But I wanna watch the game!
Marge: Homie, please? *Marge waited for Homer's response*
Bart: Nevermind Mom. Just let the fatso watch his gam-
Homer: WHY YOU LITTLE! *Homer strangled Bart*
Bart: ACK!! URRK! GACK!!!
Marge: HOMER! You're going to get that tree and no more television for the rest of the day!!!
Lisa: Thanks Mom.
Bart: Come on big boy! *Bart laughed at Homer*
Homer: Watch it, boy! *Homer opened the front door and walked outside*
Lisa: Can I pick which tree we get, Dad?
Bart: NO! Mom
Bump in the night - Part 1Bump in the night - Part 16 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
FUTURAMA: BUMP IN THE NIGHT
CAPTION: [in alienese] NERDLINGERS UNITE!
An eerie light was set upon the street of New New York; Halloween drew near. Priests filled the streets shouting something about repentance, or maybe it was re-pent ants. Sales in garlic and wooden stakes increased as well as sabotage to ladders and inside umbrellas. But people still flocked to get pumpkins, real, plastic and illegally produced. Excitement built in the average family, the prospect of sweet gifts and a chance to pull a prank without worry of any dangerous holiday mascots such as Robot Santa Claus or the Zombie Easter Bunny.
Though no one could have been as exited as Professor Farnsworth; he had been growing pumpkins with a growth enhancement and was about to make a breakthrough in pumpkin technology. What disappointed him though, was the fact that nobody cared.
Im sick of pumpkins! Fry whined to the professor. Cant you use something like peaches or hamsters or suga
I QuitI Quit5 years ago in Comedy More Like This
Character: Stubbs the Clown from We're Back!
Originally voiced by Martin Short
Oh, I forgot to tell ya: I QUIT! I quit! Heh heh I resign. You got this completely in your ear? I am PROFOUNDLY OUTTA HERE!
And this ain't about money. I ain't even complaining about my dry-cleaning bill. But hang around with elephants all day and try to keep your clothes clean! But that's not the point. The point is: I quit. Quitski! Over-and-outski! That's all she wrote! Keep my last check, buddy!
Here's my shoes, my nose, my horn, my buzzer, my fake arm, my bug-eye glasses, my back-stage passes, my hat, my rabbit, his back-stage passes, my fake fangs, a few birds, my pogo stick, my donkey ears, my extending tongue gag, my rubber chicken you can't even get these any more! my lucky whale tooth, and a giant clam that opens to reveal the American Flag held by a mermaid and her normal brother Richard! SO LONG! Hoo-hoo-hehe... Oh oh oh oh oh, and by
Social AnxietySocial Anxiety6 months ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Eyes downcast, staring at my phone.
No, don’t make eye contact. Just leave me alone.
I crave for bravery and to not be afraid
To raise my hand in class with a unique idea and come off unscathed
To talk loud enough for people to hear instead of mumbling under my breath
To not need a shot or a beer to have a normal conversation at best
I wish I wasn’t afraid of people or the pain they inflict
And to be blessed enough to see the goodness that exists
A new chapter of my story unfolds, yet the old one haunts me
The creeping anxiety that nobody wants me.
To get up and talk at a party and make a new friend
Instead of sitting on the couch waiting for it to end.
To have the energy and desire to live life while young
And not have friends who ruin your fun.
What is life without people? What is life without friends?
When is it time for my heart to makes amends
With the past so that I may enjoy the present
And anticipate the future without fear of relent
It’s as simple as doing it
Mysterion is Born. Mysterion is BornMysterion is Born.3 years ago in Drama More Like This
Nine year old Kenny McCormick lay in his bed, listening to his parents fighting once again. This happened at least once a week; he got used to it after a while, just like his older brother, Kevin, did. 'You get used to it,' Kenny thought. He was dressed only in his underwear, leaving his orange parka in his closet.
Kenny turned around, trying to get into a comfortable position. He could always sleep easier when his parents fought for some reason. He didn't know why; maybe it was because it gave him a reason to run away into his dreams, to fall asleep and leave his alcoholic parents behind, even if it was for eight short hours. But he couldn't tonight.
Kenny always wanted to run away from his home, go to another home, live in the forest, anywhere, as
NightmareWhen Dorothy had sat up in her mossy couch, suffocating a cry by pressing her own small hands on her mouth, fire hadn't kept him away.Nightmare4 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Inside that sack of straw that was the Scarecrow's head, nothing was as important as protecting Dorothy: Dorothy who had defeated the Wicked Witch of the East, Dorothy who had bring all of them along to see the Wizard, Dorothy who would have defeated the Wicked Witch of the West too, Dorothy who always said his thoughts were so delicate and didn't seem to care his head was so empty and useless instead.
The Scarecrow couldn't do very much for her; so he tried his best he filled up with nuts her basket, he covered her shoulders with leafy blankets in the coldest nights, he made sure her pretty face was always peaceful and smiling.
And when he'd heard her cry, that small fire which Tin Man had lit up hadn't kept him from running by her side and blotting her tears away with his rough gloves.
"Dorothy, Dorothy, it's all right. You're in safety. Please
Future Mama Baby Drama Chapter 1"Future Mama Baby Drama" - Follow up to "Robot Hell's Angel"Future Mama Baby Drama Chapter 12 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Author's Note: Hey guys, it's me again! So I finished my Futurama My Immortal parody and decided to write a sequel to my serious Futurama fanfiction "Robot Hell's Angel" just because. I hope you guys like it, I've been working on it for a while but haven't had a chance to post it until now. Please tell me what you think c:
"I'm so glad you didn't die, I need you to stay alive and help me raise our baby." Said Leela. She rubbed her tummy for emphasis, a smile crossing her face. Fry seemed confused.
"Leela, you can stop lying about being pregnant now. The Robot Devil freed you a while ago." He advised. The cyclops' smile faded. She grew frustrated. How could he think that!?
"What!? Fry, this isn't a lie at all! I really am pregnant! See, feel this! You can feel our baby kick!" She retorted furiously, grabbing Fry's hand and pressing it firmly against her belly. At first, the delivery boy felt nothing abnormal. All he could feel
7 - HeavenThe Shadowlands were a harsh place to grow up in, the eternal night that plagued the lands only tainting it further. Rogue vampires stalked the leafless woods, searching for easy prey whilst werewolves ran free. No one chose to live here; they were trapped whilst humans enjoyed the spoils of Iann, but just because it was an elaborate prison didn't mean that it was all bad.7 - Heaven3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
After a long run in search for some food with some of the other pack members, the Alpha found himself tired as he stretched. His wolf form had faded back to his human, blood coating his naked skin but the werewolf didn't care for his nudity. He held an impressive frame, brown hair caught in ragged waves about his features matching the fierce creature that lurked behind his amber eyes. But although he was a killer, a hunter and one that had performed terrible deeds on others, as he pushed into his cave his expression only softened to one that could have calmed a frightened rabbit cornered by it's hunter.
NormalWhat is normal?Normal10 months ago in Philosophical More Like This
Normal is fitting in with the crowd, or sticking out.
Normal is going home to a loving family, or going home to a broken family. Maybe even no family at all.
Normal is listening to pop music. Or rap, metal, country, or indie.
Normal is dressing like everyone else, or dressing as one in a million.
Normal is finding a secure job, or taking a risk to follow your dreams.
Normal is being straight, or being gay. Or a lesbian. Or any other orientation.
Normal is acting your age, or being mature. Perhaps even holding onto the precious innocence of childhood.
Normal is having sex, or being a virgin.
Normal is drinking and doing drugs, or being straight edge.
Normal is playing a sport, or an instrument. Or having another type of hobby.
Normal is having a roof over your head, or struggling to get by.
Normal is being at the peak of health and physical fitness, or being lazy and having to deal with a terminal illness.
Normal is having clean water and food in your stomach, or having
KFP- Tigress's StoryI could swear my heart stopped as I watched Po and Shen fighting in the factory. That stupid panda! Why couldn't he do as I told him? I snarled and whipped through the wolves attempting to block my path, knocking them aside like so many pots. But I couldn't knock aside the gorilla, couldn't get to Po before that cannon went off. I saw him flash by me, a blur of black and white mixed with the explosive, colorful powder that shot the metal balls, and my breath went with him as he soared out of the factory and into the river.KFP- Tigress's Story3 years ago in Romance More Like This
Deep in my gut, I knew, just knew-, he was dead. And any hope of stopping Shen went with him.
I hung there, chained with my friends, the rest of the Furious Five, feeling nothing but sadness and despair. "We must be strong, hardcore. Right, Tigress?" Monkey asked, but I couldn't answer. I could only close my eyes, the image of Po flying past me replaying through my mind on a never-ending loop. If only I'd been faster, stronger, more ferocious, I coul
Am I A Monster?"Hey Cartman?" Brilliant green eyes blinked up at the obese young man innocently. "Am I a monster?"Am I A Monster?2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Cartman stared down at the redheaded boy at his feet, the end of the thick iron chain strapped tightly around his throat clutched in his own strong grip. Kyle's face was a pretty one, or at least it was. Skin that was once ivory and flawless, aside from a few freckles dotting his nose, was now stained orange and greasy to the touch. His fiery red main was slicked back with oozing jell that dripped slightly onto his sleeveless shirt.
Truly, the ginger Jew was a monstrosity.
If Kyle's soulless coloring and religion wasn't enough, he also had to be from Jersey. Or, rather, he was conceived there in his mother's belly. But you know what they say; You can take the fetus out of Jersey, but you can't take Jersey out of the fetus. There was no denying it, Kyle had the three J's, Ginger, Jersey, and a Jew.
That made him a monster, or at least in Cartman's eyes it did.
Dangers Of Deliveries Part 1The Planet Express crew sat casually in the lounge watching the news, awaiting their next delivery. Leela was always ready for their missions right away, with her keys kept in her pocket and her wrist device ready to take directional orders. Fry and Bender on the other hand were more than happy to wait if they had to; after all, a new episode of All My Circuits was going to be on. Professor Farnsworth slowly shuffled his way into the room. Upon hearing the doors slide open, Leela sat up attentively, while Bender and Fry sank deeper into the sofa, as if already being bored with whatever they would have to do...Dangers Of Deliveries Part 13 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
And sure enough, the Professor smiled at the three, and spouted with an eager voice, "Good news, everyone!" Oh, how they've all heard that before.... and seldom was it ever anything that could be defined as good. The Professor continued, "We've got another delivery to make! You'll be in charge of delivering these bricks of antibiotics to the wounded Crocodilious soldiers o
Things Change, Does Love?She ran. Away from the voices calling her name, away from the palace, fleeing like a deer before a forest fire. The gates of the city came into view. She passed through them the tears on her cheeks turning into steady streams; completely ignoring the bearded guard calling her name.Things Change, Does Love?8 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Her shoes clicked along the Yellow Brick Road that she traveled so long ago. Or wait, was it only 5 years? Her legs finally gave out and Dorothy collapsed into the poppy field. She gave way to furious tears as her shoulders shook.
'How could this happen? How? This is not what I wanted.'
"Dorothy! Dorothy?" Aunt Em was calling her from the front porch of the new house. "Land sakes child, come out of that cornfield. All you ever do is stare at that scarecrow. It's time for supper."
Dorothy sighed but
Dear DA, Is Our Art Not Beautiful?Dear DA,Dear DA, Is Our Art Not Beautiful?5 months ago in Letters More Like This
Is our work not beautiful? Left and right I see artists who slave over a camera, sketchbook, and keyboard endlessly in order to share the beauty of their creations and express themselves in the best way they know how. DeviantArt is a place for artists to find sanctuary and companionship with fellow artists, and yet we somehow become victimized. Some of the work focuses on the human body in its most natural state, our blank flesh canvas used to portray, inspire, and create. Like good little deviants many of us put warning on our works so that those who chose so may look away without incident, yet even then that’s not enough.
It’s truly amazing, it is, the hypocrisy that lies on this site. You say our work is inappropriate, yet your homepage is filled with pornographic pictures and sleaze. While, yes, there are quite a few that fall under the category of “artistic nude” many fail to meet the criteria that merges skin with art and are only used to objectif
SentimentSentimentSentiment2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Fandom: Hotel Transylvania
Characters/Warnings: Dracula, Mavis, and Martha Dracula. This is total and utter sap.
Martha Dracula stood on her bedroom balcony, surveying the land as the moon touched upon it. Her newborn daughter lay silently in her arms after a day's worth of exhaustion had eaten up all of her energy.
Behind the two of them, a familiar vampire stood in a proud pose. Dracula regarded his new family, now made whole, with adoring eyes and sighed. He half-believed that the sight before him was but an illusion of his own willful mind. Such a thing was not necessarily unthinkable given his background. Yet no matter how many times he pinched himself, Dracula stayed where he was, perfectly happy.
"Oh Darling, come look." Martha's beckoning broke through her husband's train of thought, and the ancient vampire looked to find Martha with the oddest expression on her face. She was holding Mavis as far out as she dared in order for Dracula to get a closer look at their daug
South Park- SLEEP IS NOT POSSIBLEThis sucks.South Park- SLEEP IS NOT POSSIBLE3 years ago in Humor More Like This
I shouldn't have begged my parents for a bigger bed.
Then maybe I wouldn't be in this mess.
Stan had invited all of his friends to spend the night at his house, to try out his new bed.
The bed was big, and soft, and comfortable.
And he couldn't sleep.
As if sleeping in the same bed with three other boys wasn't awkward enough.
God forbid they slept normally.
Cartman tossed and turned, like he was having a vivid dream.
Kyle talked in his sleep. In Hebrew.
Kenny clung to the nearest object for dear life (which just so happened to be Stan's leg) as if death was after him, and sometimes he'd whimper.
Butters was staying at Stan's house that week, but there was no way in hell he was sleeping on the bed. He lay curled up on the floor, a finger knotted in his hair, sucking loudly on his thumb.
Stan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.
This was the absolute definition of lame.
He made a useless attempt at freeing his leg from Kenny, pushed Cartman as far away from hi
MLP:FiM - Family is ForeverMLP:FiM - Family is Forever4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
It was a sunny and warm day of summer, like any other. Or, it could have been, if it hadn't been the day when Scootaloo learned the terrible truth.
It was also the day of the grand annual reunion of the Weather Pegasi family. A long awaited moment for the related winged ponies who got together, from all over Equestria, to share news and see friendly faces for the first time in a year. Everyone looked forward to the party, but Scootaloo was an exception.
Each year, at those reunions, she couldn't help but always have this awkward feeling of being 'out of place', as each time some members of the family would look at her, then whisper strange things between themselves about 'how sad it was' and 'how a shame it was that they couldn't be there' and then moved away, to continue their conversation in private. It didn't help that she was pretty much the only pegasus of her color, as almost every other were white, black or grey, different shades of blue and green and even one pink, that
Only a FandomIt's only a fandom, whatever you sayOnly a Fandom5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I really don't care if a character's gay.
It's only a fandom, as hard as you try
To get me to believe that your OC flies
Above oceans and mountains and hillsides and caves
I don't give a shit if they fly out in space.
It's only a fandom, no matter how far
You're willing to go to get me up on par
With universes and story arcs and Japanese cuts
Of the series that pretty much has all its guts
Labeled and colored just like in my book
On human biology and stained with some gook.
It's only a fandom, although you might fight
That your theory is better than mine and you're right
On how a character's past may have been
And explains the mental state they're now in.
Because of their childhood, so calm and serene
Until came that night that feels like a bad dream
Where somebody dies or gets killed or just leaves,
Making this character hide cuts under his sleeves.
It's only a fandom although you may cry
To see one of your most favorite characters die
In an actual
All Dogs Go To Heaven I was told when I was sevenAll Dogs Go To Heaven3 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
That all dogs go to heaven
This is what momma began to say
When I cried and sat where you silently lay
You were my best friend, out of everybody
We'd play outside and got awfully muddy
Leela To FryYou're an idiot,Leela To Fry4 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
you never think twice,
you never think once!
You're immature and childish,
you can't do anything right,
and you're too slow to realize
any of this yourself.
I hate how you're always trying...
trying to "make" me love you.
I hate your pointy hair
and your stupid grin.
I hate that goddamn jacket,
you never wash the thing.
I hate the way you screw things up,
never sticking to plans.
I hate your stupid ignorance,
why don't you stop trying?
Why do you love me?
I don't like you.
Just stop trying.
It's getting annoying,
Don't you ever give up?
Your effort is futile.
I hate the way you say the wrong thing
at just the wrong time.
I hate the way you look at me,
please, just turn around.
I hate the way you act on impulse,
I can never judge your movement.
Don't try protecting me,
I can look after myself.
Why did you save my life?
I said I'd never "come around".
Stop it already!
I hate the way you never give up,
the way you always love me.
I hate the way you act s
Rudolph the Red Nosed reindeerOnce there was a reindeerRudolph the Red Nosed reindeer6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A reindeer named Rudolph
His name was lame and unmagical
To make up for his nose
His nose was big
It was bigger than any the reindeer had seen
His nose was red
Redder than any of Santa's suits
His nose also shined
A bright magical shine
It looked quite ridiculous on his nostril
So the one natural thing that happened was...
He got teased.
Little Rudolph was at the pinnacle of depression
His name sucked
His nose was bizarre.
He was a freak of magical reindeer
It was then that Rudolph found a plastic surgeon
A man who specialized in nose jobs
He knocked the reindeer out and poked at his snout
And Rudolph had a normal nose
Then that foggy Christmas Eve came around
Of course the elves never installed lights on the sleigh
I don't know why they never did it, it would make sense
Perhaps they were busy picking on the one who wanted to be a dentist
Santa didn't know what to do
If he can't see, he shouldn't fly
And if he can't fly he can't
Sleeping Worgen part 4Sleeping Worgen part 42 months ago in General Fiction More Like This
Chapter 4: Romance in the Forest
Back in the forest, Thorn kept walking, gathering the berries as she sang a beautiful song. A bird was washing itself When he heard Thorn's beautiful voice. He flew after that song and followed Thorn. As Thorn sang her song, the bird did the same. Thorn sang a different song as more birds followed her song. The birds followed her as they began to wake up two rabbits from a log. they got the attention and came to Thorn. a couple of squrrels heard the song Thorn was singing and went to a tree one of them woke up an owl. The owl floated down to Thorn as it sang along with her. Thorn and the Animals walked over the log to look for more berries.
Far from her, Leo and the Dragon Riders were enjoying a nice stroll through the forest Leo heard the beautiful voice as Lionheart continued walking, but Leo stopped him calling for the Dragon Riders to stop.
"What is it Leo?" Hiccup asked.
"You hear that, guys?" Leo. asked as Lionheart glared at him,