I was pretty bored, so I felt like making this. (To the tune of 'Marukaite Chikyuu', the Axis Powers Hetalia ending song) ---
Hey, hey people, look at the sky~! What do you see? What do you see? A thousand gods, or maybe one? Or maybe you just see me!
The birds in the sky, the fish in the sea~! Did you make those? Or was that me? The birds in the sky, the fish in the sea~! I'm Atheism~!
The birds in the sky, the fish in the sea~! I'm sure you made those...no wait, was it me? Maybe it was something higher than we? I'm Atheism~!
Oh~! Life's beginning, no one really knows how it happened~! Maybe one day...we can all co-ex-ist~! I'm Atheism~!!
Ah~ah! Scientology! Please...stop dressing like me!
The birds in the sky, the fish in the sea~! Did you make those, or was that me? The birds in the sky, the fish in the sea~! I'm Atheism~!!
The birds in the sky, the fish in the sea~! I'm sure you made those...no wait, was it me? Maybe it was something higher than we? I'm Atheism~!
Oh~! Life's beginning, no one really knows how it happened~! Ohh-Ohh, Ahh-Ahh! *Monkey sounds* Maybe one day...we can all co-ex-ist~! I'm Atheism~!!
Hey hey people, wanna know the truth? Well according to my calculations...HEY! DON'T IGNORE ME! Hey hey people, I respect your beliefs! Hey hey Christianity, (please leave me alone now!) Hey hey people, look at the stars! What do you see? What do you see? A thousand gods, or just one?
SCIENCE~! DARWIN~! EVOLUTION~!
God bless the human mind~!
*music break, Atheist's music sounds like the sounds of a science lab. (Electric sparks, test tubes clinking, monkey sounds, machines beeping, ect.)*
The birds in the sky, the fish in the sea~! Did you make those, or was that me? The birds in the sky, the fish in the sea~! I'm Atheism~!!
Oh~! Life's beginning, no one really knows how it happened~! Maybe one day...we can all co-ex-ist~! I'm Atheism~!!
Oh~! Life's beginning, I think I might know how it happened~! Maybe one day...we can all co-ex-ist~! I'm Atheism~!!
On May 1st 2007, the late Christopher Hitchens released the book "God is not great: How religion poisons everything". Judging by his writings, the title was not just a sensationalist attempt at increasing sales, but the genuine sentiment of its author. Having immersed myself in the subject of religion contra reality, the influence it has, I lean towards Hitchens' side- religion appears harmful to me, doing more ill than good to society at large.
Religion is, in the world at large, probably the greatest yoke any country, civilization or ethnicity faces when trying to progress, to move forwards. It creates division, isolation between groups, inspires hate where there would be none before. Religion narrows the mind. It creates division, clouds judgment and endorses intolerance. To quote Richard Dawkins: "I oppose religion... because it teaches people to be satisfied with an incomplete explanation of how the world works." In March 2009, Pope Benedict XVI announced at his visit in Africa that condoms make worse the AIDS problem. This statement highlights the magnitude of harm religion can cause. Pope Benedict XVI's words represent perfectly the destructive power irrational belief, superstition has. Simply because the Catholic Church considers semen holy, the Africans must suffer.
Or, to further my point on religiously inspired xenophobia, let us view the gaping sore that is Palestine. For generations now Jew has fought Arab and Arab has fought Jew, because both are convinced god promised them this land. At this point, Yahweh seems to have given no favour to either side- imagine how much easier the process of integration would have been if not for the mullahs and rabbis preaching their alleged absolute right to this land, as mandated by an unseen god.
The number of religiously inspired zealots who would go so far as to harm or kill you for the sake of their beliefs thankfully represents a negligible portion of the religious populations of the world. The dangers of religion are far more subtle, far more sinister. I would refer here to what may be the most immediate threat in terms of religious follies: creationism, and more specifically the attempts its adherents make to teach their unsubstantiated beliefs as scientific. Originally a phenomenon best known from the southern states of the USA, the creationist movement is active and alive, and insidiously snaking its way through Europe as well. Though they thankfully represent a vocal- if obnoxious- minority, the fact that they have any impact at all is worrying. Hiding behind the pretext of religious freedom, they wish to impose on the susceptible minds of the youth superstition as science. They reject the scientific theory of evolution, which is based on mountains of evidence, in favour of "Intelligent Design", based explicitly on the unfalsifiable idea of a creator. "Teach the controversy" is a common slogan. In my opinion, this is absurd- there is no controversy in the scientific community regarding evolution. The overwhelming majority of the scientific community adheres to the theory of evolution. The science classroom deals with science- the creationists can bring in only matters of faith. Whether god is real or not is irrelevant in such a context as that of a science classroom- only the tangible, the falsifiable is dealt with there. We did not advance to the point where we can send satellites into space by looking at the unexplained, going "god did it".
Religious people is by many said to bring comfort, that churches raise money for the poor. What of the many charities the churches boast, the money it raises for the poor? What of the sense of security it brings to those miserable and unsatisfied with their lives? Why would anybody wish them robbed of this? Commonly, the theists argue that without god, there is no greater purpose, no point to living or being alive. Further, the theistic apologists like to endorse the idea that somehow belief makes man more moral, more inclined to charity and kindness. Some even postulate that a lack of religious guidance leads to disaster- a common argument is that Stalin, Mao and Pol Pot were the heads of atheistic regimes that their lack of belief led to the atrocities committed. These are interesting questions, and some of them may have some merit- but at a closer glance, I would say that this amounts to an appeal to emotion rather than a question of fact.
If we first address comfort: yes, the belief in a god can cause a very real feeling of well-being, happiness, even euphoria. Believing can make you happy. So can a security blanket. The reality of the joy you might experience does not make the ideas endorsed any more or less true. In the words of Bertrand Russel, "The fact that a believer is happier than an unbeliever is no more to the point than a drunken man being happier than a sober one".
The happiness, though real, ceases to be harmless once it causes people to judge others for not adhering to ones own personal beliefs. This is where religion creates division- by claiming it has all the answer, the perfect answers, that all other answers are inferior; that all who disagree are therefore morally inferior or simply corrupt. What about charity, then? The various churches are responsible for much good- but this is not unique to the churches at all, nor do I need to be guilted into donating money by some god. I could just as easily donate to a secular charity. The church, with the tithes it gathers from its many believers worldwide, certainly has the resources. The humanitarian effort is just that- humanitarian. All religions, all people have an urge to help; it is an instinct. No church is required.
What about the idea of life being meaningful only with the idea of a god in it? This argument falls on its own arrogance- evidently, the atheist can live an equally fulfilled, satisfied life without even a hint of belief in the juju at the mountain. This can be, and has been tested. Perhaps the religious need a god to make their lives meaningful; to claim this is universal fails on logical grounds.
What about morality? This is possibly the most self-important argument the theistic side has to offer. If morality is derived only out of fear of being denied eternal bliss, then it is not really morality to begin with. We, as human beings, do right because it is right, not because we are afraid of what will happen if we do not.
In conclusion, I would like to assert that religion, though having some fine points- it is deeply linked to all of our cultures, responsible for much charity- does more harm than it does good. It provides comfort, but it also creates division, retards scientific progress, incites xenophobia and gets privileges for superstitions it cannot prove. I do not deny people the right to believe- indeed, religion will last as long as there are humans left to believe. However, religion must be kept private. It must never be given special treatment or allowances where other interests would not, and it should never be allowed a say in politics or education.
Je foule du pied l'immensité féconde de mon cerveau. Aride et vide, s'étale devant moi le désert de la création. Des souvenirs par milliards, en grains de sable tapissent l'espace sans eau, Et s'envolent, tels une galaxie, jusqu'à brouiller les sensors de ma vision.
Aride et Vide, s'étale devant moi le désert de la création. L'atmosphère y est jaune, et... kaki. Au loin une ombre, la mienne, médite; Et s'envole, telle une galaxie, jusqu'à brouiller les sensors de ma vision. La diversité étend l'angle de mon âme, et ouvre les portes de mes contrées interdites.
L'atmosphère y est jaune, et... kaki. Au loin une ombre, la mienne, médite; posée au centre d'un amas d'idées informes séchant sur les câbles de mes axones La diversité étend l'angle de mon âme, et ouvre les portes de mes contrées interdites. Dans cette nébuleuse d'idées s'étirent à l'infini les câbles de mes neurones.
Posé au centre d'un amas d'idées informes séchant sur les câbles de mes axones Je m'approche sans bruit, épousant chaque alcôve de ma topographie. Dans cette nébuleuse d'idées s'étirent à l'infini les câbles de mes neurones. Mon Allégorie héliocentrique se sublime soudain en un flash de photographie.
First time we meet You'll see a face Of dark brown hair along its trace And dark brown eyes Under squinted eyelids Looking through a pair of glasses First assumption you must have made She's Chinese! No... She's Japanese! Wait... She's Korean My crisp tan skin Is before your eyes Laid upon a skeleton of 5?9? My ethnicity is not clear to you So you change your mind and think Maybe she's Mexican.. Or maybe Native American! With your mind still unclear You still assume And throw out words to me Obviously showing you have o clue
Ay dyosko , Filipino ako! Filipino ako
I'm not that cliche Chinese kid You see on TV So dont go up to me and say Ching-chong chi hai-yee? And wait for a response While bustin' out karate moves in front of me Thinkin' you're Bruce Lee (But you're not) Or clasp your hands together and take a bow As if I was Japanese (But I'm not) Why don't you ask me questions instead of assume? Before you start talking And make yourself look foolish At least the best thing you can do Is just call me Asian Just ask me What is your ethnicity Don't as me Tu Espanol? or Ching-Chong Cha?? Just ask me What is your ethnicity? Cause I'll answer you simply
Filipino ako I am Filipino
It'll slip off my native tongue Or just straight out English
Poem I made on how much I was annoyed by people just glancing at me and saying I was Chinese, Mexican or whatever ethnicity they would spit out without even just coming up to me and asking me what I was.
Thank you to everyone who has favorited, commented and/or who have just simply clicked the link to read this poem. I wrote this when I was an 8th grader in middle school, trying to break stereotypes in a school where I was basically one of the only few Asians and only Filipino. I am now a 2nd year in college and I find it amazing to see that this poem continues to be a piece of writing that illustrates a situation pinoys all over the world can relate to.
After reading over it thoroughly for the first time in a long time and after taking into consideration the one negative reaction I got to this poem, some parts of this poem could be quite offensive, especially the "ching-chong-cha" parts! I'd just like to clarify that this is what people would literally say to me when I was younger! I may not be Chinese, but that offends me, too! Offensive as it may be, that was my reality when I moved to an area that was predominantly white. Kids can be cruel!
Keep an open mind, everyone! Don't be spiteful of ignorance (as hard as that may be) -- try to prevent it by educating others. Thank you again for all the love!
Turning off the TV and sighing to herself, The Philippines sat on the couch in England's living room. As per usual, there was nothing on, and the kids had been giving her no problems. See, every once in a while, a bunch of the smaller nations decided to hold a 'secret meeting', in which they would discuss their plans for world domination and other cute kid stuff like that. However, in reality, it was just a sleepover. This time, it was Sealand's turn to host the 'meeting'; but since his actual house was too small to hold four or so people in one room, it was held at his 'jerk brother's' house. England relented to the smaller child's demands as long as they had someone to watch the house (because apparently the older nation had better things to do). This is where the Philippines comes in. Her former controller (who was actually one of many) politely asked if she could babysit. Having nothing better to do, the girl agreed. Other than having to make dinner for them, it wasn't really hard. The kids stayed up in Sealand's room, so she had nothing to do but browse the channels. 'Hnn If Sealand hates Inglatera so much, why does he have his very own room?' she wondered to herself. The island nation had soft, tanned skin and dark brown hair swept into a low side-ponytail on the left of her head. Almost always was there a Sampaguita flower in her ponytail; making her smell sweet wherever she went. Blinking with large, brown eyes, the Philippines heard the sound of feet pounding down the staircase. She looked up, only to be greeted by five tiny nations, all dressed in pajamas: Sealand, Liechtenstein, Wy, and Seborga. Latvia was even there, among the micro nations. "Oh, hey guys " She started. They stayed silent. "Do Do you need something?" Again, silence was her only reply. Liechtenstein began fidgeting, and Monaco was fixing her glasses nervously. Latvia tugged at his shirt collar whilst Seborga began whistling. Finally, Wy and Sealand exchanged glances, nodding at each other. "What are you guys planning ?" "Well, uhm We were just planning on going to bed," said Sealand, scratching the back of his neck. "And we kind of N-Need someone to " Wy almost finished, but mumbled the last part. "Someone to ? Philippines repeated, asking for an answer. "S-See," Liechtenstein began, "one of our older siblings tends to tell us a bedtime story, but since Mister England is out, we don't have anyone this time So we were wondering " Philippines stopped the young blonde girl. "Maghintay I mean, wait, you want ME to tell you guys a bedtime story? Aren't you a bit old for that?" "We're young for nations " Wy muttered. "Eh What about Seborga, Monaco Even you, Latvia! I KNOW you're too old for this." Latvia rubbed one arm awkwardly. "Yeah, well We don't really tell good stories, and they won't go to sleep without one " "So we need YOU, Miss Philippines, to tell them a nice bed time story!" Seborga ended, with Monaco nodding her agreement. The tanned nation was actually kind of surprised, but agreed. So now she was up in the kids' 'meeting' room (Sealand's bedroom, obviously), watching them get settled in their respective beds. "So What kinds of stories does Inglatera tell you?" Sealand snorted; "Usually stupid ones about unicorns and fairies." Wy giggled. "I-I like those stories " Liechtenstein murmured. "Fairies, huh " Philippines paused for a moment, trying to recall an old folktale or something of the like to tell these children. Suddenly, she looked up, smiling brightly. "Aha! I've got it!" "You know a story?" Seborga asked. She nodded. "It's called The Fairy Wife." "Ugh," Sealand groaned, "more fairies " "Shush." "I want to hear it!" Liechtenstein chimed. "Alright then!" Then the Philippines got an idea. She smirked to herself and began her tale. "A long time ago, there lived a hunter. He lived by himself in the woods, hunting only enough to feed him. He was a handsome man, with gorgeous golden-blonde hair and eyes as blue as the sky and sea." "Wait," interrupted Wy, "I thought all Filipinos were dark-haired." "Hey, I never said it was a Filipino tale." " Is it?" " It is. But anyway." "One day, the hunter, named Bayani, was chasing after a deer. He didn't really like deer meat, but the antlers on the animal were magnificent, and would make any hunter proud. Unfortunately, he lost the deer. And he didn't realize that the chase had brought him to the deeper part of the forest. He cursed silently, trying to find his way home. Suddenly, Bayani heard rustling from a nearby bush. 'Could it be my lost deer?' he wondered, and so he followed the sound. A large bush covered in flowers was the source of the noise. He squeezed himself through and found himself in a beautiful clearing. Sunlight danced about the field, decorating the numerous flowers with its radiance. The earth was soft, and many fruits were abundant. Bayani felt as though he was trespassing in a royal garden. He heard a splash, and ducked behind a bushel of fruit. In the center of the clearing was a clear pool of water. But it was what was within the water that stunned the young hunter. Fairies! At least five of them, playing in the water, their laughter as clear as twinkling bells. Bayani was perplexed, for he never really believed in beings such as fairies. But all doubt fled his mind as he lay eyes on a certain fairy. This one was the most beautiful of them all; his soft, pale skin seemed translucent with the lighting, and his eyes shone with the bright color of emeralds. Hair as gold as the healthiest wheat fields was atop his head, shining even more because of the water. Bayani was transfixed. Silently, he watched the fairies, specifically the one with the eyes like emeralds, and observed as they got out, one by one, grabbing their clothes and wings. Finally, only the most beautiful one remained. "Kilay," called one of the fairies, "aren't you coming out?" The fairy, apparently called Kilay, shook his head. "I want to stay in a while longer," he said. "We don't get to come here often. You know how I love the water. I'll be out soon, I promise." The fairies all nodded, since they could not refuse their brother, and flew off to their home. Bayani could stand it no longer. He desired this being; no, he needed him. Never had he felt stronger feelings of love than he had then. Very quietly, so that Kilay would not hear him, he took his clothes and wings and his them in his pouch. He hid himself once more. "Hey! That's pretty rude." Seborga commented. "I wouldn't steal the clothes of a lady!" "Kilay is a man, if you hadn't noticed. Now let me finish!" "Kilay then decided that he would get out of the pool. But alas, his clothes and wings had mysteriously gone missing! He searched and searched, but could not find them. The poor fairy didn't know what to do. He knelt on the soft ground and sobbed. Bayani emerged from his hiding place and approached the crying figure. "Why are you crying, little one?" He sounded so full of concern, Kilay almost immediately trusted him. "I-I lost my wings and clothes," he hiccupped, "and I can't go home anymore!" Bayani felt guilty, for the sadness in Kilay's voice was much too evident. But he loved this man be barely knew. It was worth it, he convinced himself. "Then come home with me. I can give you clothes and food, but I can't promise wings. But as soon as you experience happiness on earth, I'm sure you won't need them." Seeing his hesitation, he continued. "There's a spring by my house. You can play there as much as you'd like. There's even a waterfall. Have you seen one before?" Upon hearing his friendly and charming tone, Kilay decided to go with this man. Besides, he wanted to see a waterfall, and what other options did he have? As soon as the two arrived at Bayani's home, the hunter hid the fairy's clothes in a bamboo tube, which he stored under the floorboards, where Kilay would likely not see it. In time, Kilay also fell in love with the hunter. They married a short while after, and whenever the fairy would long for his home in the sky, Bayani was always there to make him happy and forget about returning home. Also, they had a child, which they name Dagat." "They had a kid? Aren't they both dudes?" "Stop interrupting, Sealand." "Shut up, Wy." Philippines sighed. "After a while, when Bayani was out hunting to provide for his family, Kilay was caring for their child. Dagat would not stop crying, no matter what he did. And he was pointing to floor. Curious, Kilay put his child down in his crib and went to the exact floorboard the baby was pointing at. Peeling it back, he found a bamboo tube. Obviously puzzled, Kilay opened the tube and gasped. His clothes and wings were inside! His wings still shone with stardust. Kilay knew what he had to do. Singing to Dagat one last time, he kissed his baby and put his clothes and wings on, just as Bayani entered the house. Stunned at the sight of wings on his love's back, he could not speak. Kilay looked at him with sad eyes lined with tears. "If only you had told me, I would have thrown these into the river. But you didn't trust me. And now, I must go home." Kilay approached the still-shocked hunter and kissed him one last time. "I still love you. Tell our child that I love him too." Fluttering his wings, Kilay disappeared into thin air, leaving Bayani with Dagat and his own regrets. The end." Philippines finally finished the story and looked at the kids, expecting them to be asleep. Instead they were gaping at her. "W-What?" "That's not a happy ending! I'll have sad dreams if I fall asleep after THAT!" shouted Wy. Liechtenstein nodded, looking close to tears. "Perhaps you should change the ending, Miss P-Philippines " suggested Latvia. The island nation groaned. "But-!" "Do it! You can't leave them like that!" Sealand retorted, looking very angry. Philippines muttered under her breath, probably cursing, and resigned to the micronations' whims. "Fine " "So after Kilay found his wings and clothes, he knew he had a very important decision to make. At that moment, Bayani returned home, and was definitely shocked to see his lover holding his old possessions. "K-Kilay, I can explain!" he shouted, though Kilay didn't know if he could listen anymore. "Bayani Do you love me?" he asked suddenly. "Of course! I wouldn't have done this otherwise!" Kilay took a deep breath. "Even if I wasn't a fairy? If I were a normal human, would you love me?" "What kind of question is that? Of course I would!" Bayani stepped right in front of him. "I love you, Kilay." The girls cooed, blushing at the sudden romance in the story. Wy then yawned and rubbed her eye. The dark-haired girl laughed quietly. "Kilay knew what to do. "I'll be right back," he promised. Heading to the same clearing in which he had first met Bayani, he threw his wings and clothes into the pool. He uttered a short prayer before going back home to a nervous-looking hunter. "I'm still very upset with you." "I know." Kilay then smiled, surprising the hunter, and embraced him. "I got rid of them. I can no longer go home, or even see my own kind without them showing themselves first. But it's okay." He looked up, at his now-smiling husband, and kissed him. "Because I have you." Philippines crossed her arms and sighed. "Happy now?" Seborga clapped. "Buona! Nice story!" Monaco smiled and looked at the three youngest. "They thought so, too." Indeed, Liechtenstein, Wy, and Sealand were fast asleep. "Finally I'll be downstairs, then. Goodnight." "Wait, Miss Philippines!" Latvia's call halted her. "What?" "Uhm I-It's just Well, what do their names mean? I-In the story " Philippines blinked twice, then smirked. "Bayani means 'Hero'. Kilay means 'Eyebrows', and Dagat means 'Sea'. Tulog na rin." She closed the door.
2 Hours Later
"I hope they weren't much trouble, Philippines," said England as he returned home. She waved her hand in a dismissive manner. "Nah, they were great. Can't believe they still need bedtime stories." He laughed. "Well They are kids." "Hn. So, how was your date with Amerika?" He suddenly turned bright red. "I-It was fine " Then he muttered something about 'making out in public' before coughing and thanking Philippines once more. "It's fine, really. Just call me up whenever you need a sitter." Grinning, she pointed to herself proudly. "I have a lot more stories where that came from!"
YEAH. Another story written in one sitting! In all honesty, I should be working on Iggy's b-day fic, but I got this idea when my aunt from the Philippines sent me a book of Filipino legends. In the book, there was his one story called 'The Fairy Wife. Funny, my mom never heard these stories... But the actual tale's protaganist was named Datu Omar. The fairy and baby didn't have names. Oh, and they were girls. But yeah, the first ending was the real one. I didn't like it, so I made up my own. GOT A PROB, BITCH? Didn't think so. I was gonna draw the Philippines, but my cousin wanted to do it first, so that's that.
Translations- Inglatera-England Maghintay-Wait Bayani-Hero (Actually, this is the name of the national hero of the Philippines. Lil' trivia for y'all.) Kilay- Eyebrows (LOLOLOL.) Dagat- Sea (Get it?) Buona- Good (Italian) Tulog na rin- Sleep well Amerika- America (obviously)
Also, the Sampaguita is the national flower of the Philppines, so that's why she has one in her hair. Lots of facts for you guys. I feel so patriotic, lol. Oh, and let's just say Monaco and Seborga are there for fun.
Hetalia (C) Himaruya Philippines (C) Mine, I guess The Fairy's Wife (C) Whoever first told it
The writer depends on words. The artist depends on shapes.
The writer uses letters. The artist uses color.
I feel so much sorrow, my lack of artistic talents reflect upon my own life. I wish I could express my thoughts and feelings into pictures.. into shapes and color. But I cannot, I'm only a writer. I'm a shapeshifter of words. I'm an expression of letters. I'm a shadow behind the page.
The artist hogs the spotlight, takes away the observants. I lay in wait, looking for someone to comment, fav, or even take I liking into my poetry and stories. I want to have the spotlight, to be the best... the best word shifter.. the best writer.
My sorrow continues on, for the artist is always on the light. I'm forced to wait in shadow until my words become known. For now.. I shall wait.. until someone dodges the artist... and comes to me...
This piece shows how the artist gets more attention than the writer. It shows how writing can be ignored and how art can always have the spotlight.
EDIT: ( November 4, 2011) Goodness gracious good God gurdy gumdrops! I was checking up on my old name and figured out a poem I posted as a 14-year-old would still be going strong and pseudo-popular. Well, I'm 19 now guys and I got a new name ~Syke-Raid and I'm about to start posting some more literature on there. Thanks to all of you who love this piece, I'm sure it expresses the feelings of many writers without artistic talent here on deviantArt. ^-^
Whilst I (Tigress) slept in the kitchen from having very little sleep from last night, despite being in a very deep sleep, I could hear the gong from the staff of Jade Palace.
I had no intentions of waking up. I needed my sleep, and I wouldn't care if someone took the mickey out of me right now, especially Po joking that whilst Mr. Ping cooked the breakfast, that I was in front of the queue.
Masters Monkey, Crane, Mantis, Viper, Shifu, and The Dragon Warrior Po entered the kitchen, each one up and dressed ready for today... Whilst I slept in my night gown sitting down with my head on my arms which were slumped on the table. Every one knew that I'd have a back ache when I eventually woke up, but waking me would proof difficult.
"Shh, Tigress's sleeping!" Mr. Ping said to everyone.
"Aww, she looks kinda cute when she sleeps!" Po quietly said as he went to the back of my chair, and messed about by gently rubbing the back of my head. Without warning, I let out a happy purr, and slowly waved my tail as Po rubbed my head.
"She does, doesn't she!" Viper said as she slithered over towards Po. Monkey soon followed and gently stroked my back. I didn't even open my eyes I was so shattered that with Po stroking my head, Monkey with my back, that my purring got louder!
"I used to do this to her when she was little, now she's all grown up it's harder. I used to do things with Tai Lung when he too was a cub!" Master Shifu said as he smiled.
"Po and me used to too, now he's bigger I can't do it any more!" Mr. Ping joked. Po didn't know where to look.
Eventually after being stroked for a while, I woke up as little Tigress. My purring became more frequent as it was louder, my tail swayed more and more, and I was ready to pounce like a child at play... That was if I had the energy to do that of course. Instead, I slowly opened my sleepy eyes to a world of laughing Masters.
"Huh, wha? Er..." I struggled to speak as Shifu smiled towards his daughter as she woke up. I slumped my head on the table, arms dangling, my back aching terribly, I had put myself in a very uncomfortable position just to stay awake and hear what was going on as I drifted of slowly like the seeping tide to the world of sleep.
"You purr when you sleep Tigress!" Monkey said dead serious. I struggled to even keep my eyes open just to look at him, whom now was grinning as Viper agreed.
"I've heard her too in her bed, I know when she's resting!" Viper said as I yawned.
"If I had could be bothered right now, it would to just lay outside on my back and stomach and sun bathe for a while." I said as I sat up straight, looked at Shifu, and listened as I purred with Po and Monkey still stroking me. I just looked at them, struggling to stay awake as I did and say something, but as the stroking was so good it didn't take long to fall back to sleep.
"I know what would wake the girl!" Po said as Mr. Ping put a bowl of delicious noodles under my nose. Suddenly, my ears pricked up, purring louder, stomach rumbled, and with my tail swinging wildly, I was able to eat breakfast.
Crane just didn't say a word, and Shifu just lightly giggled as I, Tigress, purred and ate.
After the masters were finished messing around with me, pretending that I was just a cub, the others sat down for breakfast. A few minutes later the wolves and their cubs entered and grabbed a bowl as well.
"Thanks Tigress!" Onslo said as he walked on by. I put my paw up and continued eating and purring.
After a while I decided to get fully dressed, and have cat naps whenever and wherever possible.
As I nearly finished eating breakfast, I looked over towards Onslo whom sweetly smiled at me... Whilst trying to get their kids fed and ready for today. I knew that I was supposed to help train them, and yet I didn't have the strength to. I then thought that Po might be able to, or even Monkey. I couldn't see Crane doing it, otherwise it'll be like teaching a wolf cub to fly when they naturally don't have wings. Wondering on how I was going to help out Onslo, I wondered off to the Barracks, stepping on the crass with my bare feet. It felt, nice. I nice free feeling suddenly flowed through me as if to take me away, either that or dozing off again. It wasn't long till I went back on the path, and went to our barracks to get changed.
Jade Palace Barracks.
As I walked down the corridor, opened my door, and saw my beautiful bed. Ooh yes my beautiful, soft, luxurious bed invited me in! It was hard not to gaze at it. Instead, I looked more towards my chest of drawers as I yawned heavily, pulled a chest out, and got out my black trousers, sandals, and my red top from yesterday and got changed. I then put my gown on my bed and very quickly left, closing my door and trapping my tail as I did so. I screamed in agony as I hit my tail hard, I then freed it, looked behind me gazing into Po's room, and then left, stroking my tail and nearly walking into things as I left.
Jade Palace Training Facility.
When I entered the training area, Master Shifu looked at me as I yawned and stroked my tail. Monkey, Crane, and Viper were busy playing around whilst Mantis was talking to the Cubs, Po to Onslo.
"Oh good, hope..." I tried to speak but I was so blooming tired, I couldn't observe what was going on around me.
"You should get some rest Tigress, your too tired to do anything." Master Shifu said as he looked at me with concern on his face, I just looked at the training area.
"You need to be ready, ready for anything Tigress!" I said to myself, unknown to me the spirit of Oogway was listening and watching our every move. This message was passed on to Shifu, whom not only was told by Oogway of what I wanted to do, but I spoke too loud so Shifu heard me as well!
"NO TIGRESS! I, er... I mean, I know you mean well, and you want to train, but you'll get yourself hurt!" Master Shifu said in a stern yet kind way manner. Po came up towards us from where Onslo's lot were, and put across on what Shifu was saying was true. I tried, desperately to retain eye contact but my eyes were so heavy I had to sleep which irritated me more than anything. I knew that my body-clock was haywire, and only wanted to sleep whenever possible for short periods of time.
"Bu..." I wanted to say "But I want to train, and to train the wolves!" but being shattered, I was pretty much saying it in a dream-like state. My eyes closed, I was very irritated, and wanting to keep hold of my schedule, I surrendered and decided to fall asleep with my back against the wall to the kitchen, legs straight out, and with my arms on my stomach... I fell asleep quicker than I could kick.
"Master Tigress is very dedicated to training, isn't she Shifu!" Master Oogway said as he appeared in a bright light. This petrified the young wolf cubs, and Onlso, along with his mates, tried to explain that the thing that slowly appeared was the almighty Master Oogway, a legendary Kung Fu master and teacher. This knowledge that Onslo had been told to by Po, inspired him more to learn Kung Fu in a friendly training exercise rather than that of Jin Chow of Japan.
"... Yes, she is Master Oogway." Master Shifu said as he looked towards me, fast asleep, snoring. "What about the wolves? Tigress seems to have seen something neither of us have!" Master Shifu asked Oogway, worrying that the wolves were here for other reasons.
"All will be revealed in due time Shifu, lets just let Master Tigress do what she seems appropriate. Don't forget Shifu, she isn't little anymore, nor is she Tai Lung!" Master Oogway said towards a concerned Master Shifu. Shifu didn't say a word, instead he just gulped and went into a deep thought.
"What did we do wrong with Tai Lung?" Shifu asked a worried Oogway. Shifu had been Oogway's student for so long, he knew Oogway's mannerisms like an open scroll... Yet Oogway facial expressions hardly ever reveal worry, but optimism and wisdom.
"Nothing Shifu, he wanted to Dragon Scroll, and... well, you know!" Oogway said to Shifu as they both started to relax. It wasn't long till Onlso realized that he hadn't told Masters Shifu and Oogway his mates names.
"I'm sorry Master Shifu, I don't believe I have properly introduced myself and my friends!" Onslo said as he bowed down like we do, as he'd seen one of the Furious Five do. "My name is Onslo Kretch, my friends are called Zhuàng Yuan, Péng Chao, Tāo Chong, Míng Fu, and Kai Dōng." Onslo said as he then looked at me as I slept. "Tigress seems like a really nice person to be with!"
"She is, Master Tigress is fully dedicated to her training and protecting the Valley of Peace! I am sure that she will train you in your line of duty." Master Shifu said towards a slightly worried Onslo.
"I don't want anything happening to my children!" Onslo said, now worried as he looked at his friends playing with the children.
"Don't worry Onslo, everything will be alright!" Master Oogway said. His optimism did worry Onslo quite a bit! Not that he didn't trust him or the Masters, but thought that this journey was going to be a one way ticket to heaven!
Jade Palace Training Facilities - 2 Hours later.
I had finally woken up, still a bit sleepy and clearly not as sharp. Crane and Monkey were busy training, Mantis and Viper were busy talking to Onslo's friends, Oogway and Shifu were looking at me as Onslo introduced his mates to me, and I clearly pondered on what to do as we have the day off, as do the staff of Jade!
My schedule was incomplete. As usual we'd present ourselves to Master Shifu in the Barracks, eat breakfast, train for a little while, and ask of what Shifu would want us to do.
I wanted to train the wolves, but having my body clock gone haywire, I was very dubious to train them. Instead, I went to Po for some advise.
"Has Onslo said about his problem Po?" I asked towards an excited Po. It wasn't unusual for him to be like this, but I suppose that was to do with him training beside the Furious Five.
"Why can't you do it Tigress? I know Onslo wants you to help train them especially!" Po said. This wasn't the answer I was looking for.
"Shifu's forbidden me to train on the central arena, and those fighting dummies appear childish to highly trained killers... Like us Po!" I said towards now an enthusiastic Po who soon realized that he was not only trained the arts of Kung Fu, but the ability and capabilities to kill... But we've always been taught to let your opponent live! The idea of letting the enemy "To see a light", meaning heaven, actually meant to allow them to live and not come back.
"Wow, that is severely cool!" Po said towards a sleepy, yet angry tiger.
"In that arena Po you must be alert, to know your surroundings, to use them to your advantage, to know your opponents next move..." I said, trying to say how the training area works. Po knew better.
"Yeah, sure Tigress! You ONLY know that with the wooden soldiers striking your opponent and avoiding the spikes, plus Viper's Flames of Death with pressure sensitive areas, and the twirled beams to attack your opponents and keeping your balance..." Po said. This made me more angry, and less bothered to train today.
"If you are to train Master Tigress, you will get hurt! Use your instincts, feel the way of the Tiger Style and you will see the light." Master Oogway said as he walked towards us two. He was concerned for not only my welfare in the arena, but how I wasn't thinking straight.
"To what level do you want me to go Master?" I asked. By now I couldn't be bothered in training and hoped Po would take over instead.
"Onslo is vengeful, yet his comrades are protective! You must relieve Onslo of his despondency if you are to succeed!" Master Oogway said. This made training the wolves appear like an impossible task.
"And how am I suppose to do that!?" I said, now angry at the thought of not getting any help from no one.
"Inner peace!" Po said. I just looked at him.
"Inner... Peace?" I asked in a bewildered way. Po replied by smiling and saying yes.
"Yes! Inner peace. Let the feeling of harmony flow within your mind... Knowing your, parents are... At peace, Tigress." Po said as he looked up inhaling deeply before lowering his head and wiping his eyes.
"I... Don't know where, mine are either... Po." I said, holding myself together as Master Oogway didn't say a word. I turned towards Oogway in appreciation.
"Apart from the Matrons, thank you for raising me as one of your own Master Oogway. Please, say thanks to Shifu for me!" I said, now smiling. This made a tear come from Oogway.
"There is something that I must do!" I said, now turning like a free spirit.
"What is that Master Tigress?" Master Oogway said as he started to cry through happiness.
"I'm going home!" I said as I walked towards the exit to leave Jade Palace to go to the Bao Gu Orphanage, but before I even got to the door, Po ran up to me and put his paw on my shoulder.
"When I said about Inner Peace Tigress, I didn't mean you trying to work out who brought you into this world... You already have a family Tigress, right here at the Jade Palace!" Po said as he tried to comfort me, but also puzzled on why I was leaving so early in the day and on my own.
"I know Po. It just hit me then, thinking of when I was just a cub in the orphanage of how I first went there! What happened to my parents, do I have siblings, and how come I don't remember anything of my birth parents! I need to know Po! I'm sure you understand?" I said as I looked down. Deep down I wasn't too sure if I really wanted to know what happened, and another part is that I didn't give a toss! The orphanage Matrons, and Masters Shifu and the help of Oogway raised me up, but I suppose I needed to know on how I ended up at the orphanage in the first place.
"I understand, but do you really want to know?" Po asked me as I thought of the good times with Shifu. Him stroking the back of my head, training together and having noodles afterwards, and not calling myself a monster anymore but a little girl.
"I, don't know. I have a right to know my history Po . If I am to have Inner Peace, I must know my birthplace and that of my parents and what happened to them. Yes Shifu and Oogway raised me up Po after adoption, as so did the Matrons before! I just think that following in your footsteps that it'll help in finding Inner Peace! I said, now determined in not only the training of the wolves, but to also to knowing why I was orphaned since it recently popped into my mind!
"Personally, I think you already have it Tigress! Its just clouded in your childhood, and as a master." Po said, I could see what he was saying. I know Master Shifu is my dad and father... but not my biological father. In Po knowing on how I felt, he tried desperately to try and prevent me from leaving.
"Thanks Po, but with all due respect, I now know of what happened to your parents was tragic... And I know your trying to protect me, even if I here that my mum died through illness and dad wasn't able to look after me, or that he was a fighter too and he was badly wounded! I MUST know Po, I just..." I said. Po just hugged me.
"Look, if you think it'll help train the wolves and find Inner Peace than just go. That way, I can look at where one of my favourite masters grew up!" Po said with seriousness, but the bit about him coming to the orphanage I really did appreciate an awful lot.
"Thanks Po, but I would like to be on my own for just one day! Its just to clear my mind, not think of running to protect villages, fighting bandits, just absolute relaxation and peace of mind. Nothing personal, but it'll help not being around dad and his training." I struggled to say that I want complete isolation and focus on my birthplace and that of my parents.
"When I leave today, you can tomorrow so you can see me then with Shifu!" I said again, trying not to hurt Po's feelings.
"I understand. You need to go Tigress, besides, the reunion will be nice after so many years!" Po said, and what he said made me more comfortable at the idea of going back. After Po said that I probably have Inner Peace, then maybe going to Bao Gu would help me find it!
"I need to pack a few things, please tell dad that I'll be gone for a few days to find out what happened to my parents, and how I ended up at the orphanage." I said, shortly before leaving the training facilities. But Po was slightly puzzled on of whom I called dad.
"Er, Tigress... Who is your dad so that..." Po said but before he could answer, I replied.
I stood still as I spoke, a smile, a tear, and the memories we shared together went through my mind as I spoke his name.
"Dad, Master Shifu is my dad Po!" I said, then continued on my journey to the barracks to pack my things.
Shigure told me about a girl named Tohru Honda today. She knows about the Sohma family curse. I think I can use her…so I shall let her remain at Shigure’s house with Yuki. Perhaps with her I can show Yuki that he can never escape me. Never
For lunch I had a delicious egg salad, topped with a bit of mayonnaise sauce behind Hatori’s back. That’ll teach him to feed me all that low-fat no calorie tofu crap!...oh mother of roosters….stomach…hurting….
~~~ Entry Two
I had an allergic reaction to the mayonnaise sauce I had a couple days ago and puffed up to the size of an oversized blowfish. Hatori came in time so that I didn’t explode. The next time I see that delivery boy, I’ll kill him. With a stick. Yes. A very large, deadly stick.
Kyo is now living at Shigure’s house as well. Hm…and the plot thickens. This will definitely make things very interesting.
Being sickly sucks. I need to get Hatori to buy me a DS or a Playstation…at least then I could pretend to beat people up. Because I mean…pick-up-sticks and staring outside dramatically can only go so far.
-The Head of the Sohma Family: Akito Sohma-
~~~ Entry Three
Yuki didn’t come to the Sohma family New Year’s festival! I WAS SO LONELY AND BORED. I had no one to mess with…though flicking small pieces of food at Ritsu’s head was amusing. He freaks out like no one’s business and…hahaha…yeah it was pretty funny. Kyo didn’t come either, but he’s gross. And smells funny. And he sheds in huge, gianormous clumps and it’s just so…eeww it’s so icky! That’s the real reason he isn’t allowed in this family! Fricken shedding…cat…boy…thing.
Okay, don’t tell anyone this, but Momiji’s dance was the cutest thing in the WORLD. Except my baby pictures. But dang, he’s so adorable! I just wanna hug him and squeeze him until his head EXPLODES! But I have an image to keep up…so I have to fight these urges. Thus I have to vent by smacking people. Everyone thinks it’s because I’m some horrible monster, but no; it’s because I want to hug that cute little German blonde haired brown eyed JUST THINKING ABOUT HIM MAKES ME WARM AND FUZZY INSIDE. It kind of burns…actually it really burns PILLS
Okay…that feeling inside was actually indigestion. But still, you get what I mean. Anyways Yuki…oh! I usually don’t even look at the girls, because girls are icky and have cooties, but Kagura was wearing some awesome boots. I had to pay Shigure like…20 bucks to ask her where she got them. So tomorrow I’m going to get Hatori to go to Sears and buy me a pair. I’ll look supah sexy in them…I’m too sexy for my boots, too sexy for my boots BACK ON TRACK. So yeah! Yuki wasn’t there! Ugh…oh he will pay. Yes…he will pay.
At least I have you diary…and you mister bir…okay that stupid feather duster just flew away. I’ll eat him when he comes back….but I still have you diary.
-The Sexy Head of the Sohma Family: Akito Sohma-
~~~ Entry Four
I finally met this ‘Tohru Honda’ today. I also got to see Yuki, which was quite a treat. I got to completely mess with his head and see him go all ‘super angsty.’ Oh it was heaven. But then Tohru pushed me! Ugh…it is totally going to leave a bruise.
AHH! I just looked there, and it’s that gross greeny yellow color! UGH. CURSE YOU TOHRU HONDA! CURSE YOU PUTTING A BLEMISH ON MY LUSCIOUS SKI
Sorry as I was screaming that I went into a coughing fit…luckily Hatori brought me my inhaler. Close call on that one. That Hatori…I almost feel bad for smacking him in the eye with a vase, blinding him in that eye, destroying the relationship with the only woman he ever loved, and forcing him to erase her memories oh my goodness a servant just brought me a batch of cookies! Yummy yum tiiiime!
Okay so anyways, back to Tohru. I was told she was cute, but PFFT. Her eyes take up half her face, she has a line for a nose, her chin is pointy and don’t even get me started on her mouth! It’s so little, except when she’s talking then it gets all BIG. It’s creepy. And she doesn’t even really make any mouth movements when she talks it just seemed to open and close. Kinda like those dubbed versions of those…animes, is what they’re called I believe. Like…Sailor Moon. Yeah, like that only Sailor Moon had more style than that little brown haired hussy…but what I don’t understand is why NO ONE KNOWS IT’S HER! I mean, SERIOUSLY. She just got a new outfit, HOLY CRAP. ‘Oh man I wonder who it is. Man, and where did Serena conveniently disappear to? Boy they’re like TWINS.’ I swear, the stuff these people come up with…
HOLYRATCAKES I JUST LOOKED IN THE MIRROR…and I am HOTT. Tuxedo Mask ain’t got nothing on me.
-The Hott Head of the Sohma Family: Akito Sohma-
~~~ Entry Five
Someone is spreading a vicious rumor that I am a GIRL. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT! I mean, I know I’m filthy gorgeous, but I do have manliness! Don’t I! I mean…I am one handsome hunk of man meat! How could someone be so cruel?
….I bet it’s the ever reliable Paperboy….tomorrow….when he brings me the daily news…I’ll jump out from behind a bush and BEAT HIM WITH A ROCK. I must now go out to find the perfect rock for my plan.
-The HANDSOME HUNK OF MAN MEAT Head of the Sohma Family: Akito Sohma-
~~~ Entry Six
Hatori said we haven’t gotten any paper over the last couple of days. And that it smells like something died underneath my porch. I suggested Febreeze; it smells so fresh and eliminates all odors! So he’s going to call the newspaper place tomorrow and get me some Febreeze. Yay!
I haven’t heard a word about that girl rumor since the paper stopped.
-The Head of Sohma Family: Akito Sohma-
~~~ Entry Seven
OHMYGOSH HATORI GOT ME A PLAYSTATION! I could not believe it! I just thought he was going to get more of my disgusting, no calorie, low fat, tofu shiznit! Well he got that too…but he brought me this little grey beauty with him! So I guess it cancels out. I’m almost as happy as that one time when I stole that huge lollipop from the kid next door. That’s a lot of happiness. …It’s my lover now. Yes…my smooth, grey, gaming lover…I love-ed you PlayStation…I love-ed you.
I don’t think the members of my family, mostly the zodiac, like me too much. It may be just me…but I’m kinda getting that vibe. I mean, they act like they don’t want to be around me. Shigure has his own house, (Which I’ve NEVER been invited to! Despite the fact I sent him a house warming gift. Who doesn’t want a George Foremen Grill?) Yuki left to go live with Shigure, (Even after all the time I spent with him. I thought we had fun playing “freak out the kid in the dark and give him emotional scars that make him a teenage girl idol”…he always started crying before it was his turn. Now I’ll never be a teen girl idol.) Kyo hates me, (…well that one’s neutral so I don’t really care.) and everyone else seems to try and avoid me; which is weird because I just took a quiz online, and it said I was “likeable, fun, and the one everyone goes to for comfort.” And online quizzes do not lie!
Of course they may find me so attractilicious that they don’t find themselves worthy to be in my presence. Yeah. That makes way more sense. I’m brilliant.
Now I’m hungry for some George Foremen Chicken. The fat just drizzles right out! EVIL PLAN FORMING. Get George Foremen Grill…cook chicken…eat chicken…take a nap…then put drizzled out fat in bottle and somehow get Kyo to drink it! Then he’ll be a fat cat! Hahaha…I can rhyme.
Alright I can’t stand it anymore. I’m going to go play with my grey lover. I wonder what game Hari got me…
-The Attractilicious Head of Sohma Family: Akito Sohma-
~~~ Entry Eight
I haven’t been writing in here lately because I have been totally absorbed in my grey lover. Man…I want to be Sephiroth! Of course you gotta play as wussy hair gel Cloud man. And I hope Aeirth dies! Of course it’s probably not going to happen since no game creator would be that sadistic and kill off a main heroine like that. Which sucks. But now I’m stuck at this one place in a swamp and these snake work things and UGH. I need a chocobo. …great now I have that bloody song stuck in my head. THANKS A LOT DIARY. THANKS A LOT I’m sorry I didn’t mean it.
So…because I’m stuck, I ended up throwing my grey lover’s control arm on the ground and busting it. That’ll teach it to defy me, THE GREAT ONE. Sooo Hatori took it to get it fixed. Thus my boredom in sues. I mean…I’ve been just sitting here staring out my window dramatically for about 4 hours and not ONE person has walked passed here. Not one. I mean, what’s the point of staring dramatically if there’s no one to see it? Like that one time when that Tuturoo chick with the big eyes saw me. Man that was awesome! It was like from a movie. She sensed me, whirled around, the wind blowing kicking up leaves, and our eyes met for just a moment; everything was in slow motion and I gave her a dramatic and cold stare…then I had to go back inside because my bladder was seriously full. I had just had a gianormous amount of Kool-Aid, and man that stuff just goes right through ya. OH YEAH.
I think I’m going to do that to Yuki. Just…bust through one of his walls or window and scream, “OH YEAH!” I bet he’d be scared out his bloody mind! Oh dang…I seriously have got to do that! I have to go call Shigure now!
-The Head of the Sohma Family OH YEAH Akito Sohma-
~~~ Entry Nine
Okay so the whole “jumping through Yuki’s wall Kool-Aid style” didn’t work out. I tried it out on my wall, because I mean, come on, if it breaks I can just go into a screaming tantrum and blame some old lady sitting by the pond…the weird thing is that it would REALLY work. Haha…old lady…so anyways! I tried it out on my wall…and all I did was get a huge bump on my forehead and stub my precious big toe! Poor BT…I need to get Hatori to kiss him for me.
OO! Today Hari is getting my grey lovers’ arm back. I squeal with joy. That reminds me! Remember those fantastic boots Kagura was wearing at the New Years’ dinner? Well Shigure went and bought me a pair!! Of course now I owe him, like…a bazillion cookies but whatever. They fit me amazingly! Of course I only wear them when I’m alone, late at night, and with my doors locked. Man do they make my rump look good!! I’ve read about it in ‘Cosmo’ and ‘teen People’ that high heels really do wonders to the legs and bum; and now I know first hand. Er…first foot. Whatever. I am now off to bandage my poor aching toe. And to find a way to kill the oversized talking punchbowl who lead me to this painful fate.
-The Head of Sohma Family With an AWESOME Rump: Akito Sohma-
~~~ PLOT TWIST
Snerk…I can’t believe I found Akito’s diary…AKITO’S!! Oh man…I can NOT stop laughing. Of course once he finds out that I’ve written in here I’m sure he’ll go all….”crazy angry house wife” on me. But it’ll be worth it!!
Heey…you’re reading this right now aren’t you, Akito? HAHAHA man…who would have thought you’d be like…this. Oh…you don’t know who this is do you?? OH MY EVEN BETTER. I am TOTALLY going to tell on you to Hatori about that mayonnaise saauucee. Oh dear guess I let it slip a bit who this ISN’T hm?...or perhaps I am really HATORI only pretending to act NOT like myself, HATORI, by referring to telling myself, HATORI, about the mayonnaise sauce incident….
Okay that hurt my head. But in any case! Just know that your secrets are now in someone else’s head now, but you’ll never know who! BWAHAHAHA!!
P.S. I really do love that George Forman Grill!...but I seemed to have lost it to the bowels of my deep dark kitchen, NEVER AGAIN TO SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY! So I’d be very grateful if you sent another. Toodles!