It's rough trying to be yourself, because finding out who that is may be nearly impossible, but I'm starting to get a grasp on things. Even worse than the words of others are the words you can inflict upon yourself. I've convinced myself of how freakish and worthless I was, even to the point of thinking of just..giving up on life completely. I'm done with that. I've been done with it for a while now and I can accept the fact that the way I am isn't changing any time soon. I've wanted to do something like this for a long time now, but I've been too scared to. I think it's about time I just went ahead and tried it. It's hard to hit that submit button...but I will, and as you read this, you know I have.
There are people I know in real life who will see this. There are people in my family who probably will too, and I'm scared to death of finding out what happens from there. My worst fear is to be cast aside by a sister I love dearly. I've done it before and it was terrible, I don't want to go back to it. ha.....I never would have thought that the first sibling who threw me aside would be the most accepting of the two now. I can't thank her enough for all the acceptance she's given me.... In fact I can't thank anyone enough, but here it is: Thank you all so much for helping me get to where I am now. Thank you for helping me feel like this was okay, that I was okay...that I am okay.
Everything will be fine, and I have faith that no matter what happens it'll all work out.
To everyone hurting...whether in their own way or in a way I've hurt before, I may not know you, but I do love you, I'm proud of you for holding on, for keeping going, for trying despite what others say. For knowing deep down that there is better than this and that you can get there. You are a beautiful person and I give you my love because of that.
You can do this.
My name is Eli and I am a person who loves. No matter what else people may say, that is always what will be there.
Just so people have an idea about what it's like to be in the mind of a nightmare. When one of them isn't active they can choose the environment around them. Having been around for so long and having seen so many dreams and fears they can create whatever they feel is appropriate for the day.
I drew this forever ago and just finished it. Mimsy is mine~
A competition entry for the Art Institute. I still don't know if I qualify, but doing this picture was a really good experience and I learned a lot. Also, a huge thanks to everyone who put up with me while I was doing this piece, and to , who taught me a ton on lighting (even if she doesn't realize it) and is going to marry my fish.
also, download if you wanna see dem fish
EDIT: I'm a finalist in the competition. I went from being unsure if I'd qualify to having a 3,000 dollar scholarship in my possession. Things are looking more and more possible every day!
Is opening soon for new students! It's an extremely interactive rp group in a school situation. Mind you, this is a school of the dark arts, so it's not just lurking phantasms you have to look out for, the teachers have a bite to them~
I thought to celebrate the new opening to students a head shot of all the teachers was necessary! So head shot head shot head shot! Here we are!
I strongly encourage you to check out the group btw >>