I Just Don't KnowI was so happy,
Why must I be tested like this?
Is there a reason.
There is no destiny,
Only what you make of your situation,
That is what counts.
I want to have a steady home,
I want to have work,
I want to have a purpose.
Right now my will to live
Is only that,
I have no ambition but consistency,
No joy but in the long term.
My wishes are for the future,
No plan to change the present.
I will myself to know who I am,
Yet have failed at many a turn.
I wonder if all people feel as I do,
If they all hurt like this.
Are they hiding it like I am?
How can I tell.
Who are they,
I would like to know.
I want deep conversation,
Yet I want less some times.
Some times I want more.
Tell me what it is that I want,
I will tell see to it that you find your wants as well.
I want to be happy,
But I want them all to smile too.
These things can't happen at once.
What is it that I feel?
I can not tell,
And I am scared.
There are lights behind my eyes,
Because I try no