i'm sorry for leaving but...i'm sorry for running away.i'm sorry for leaving but...4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the truth is, i can't handle people anymore.
i want to be alone. i want to taste the
feel the heaviness of my
self-imposed isolation bearing on my shoulders.
i know i promised never to go, but you
were the one who left first.
sometimes, its hard to
see anything around me and i feel
alone in these crowded rooms we reside in.
i'm empty and i miss you.
but i've felt this way so many times before.
and what i've learned is that this never disappears.
because it doesn't have a name; you can't pin it down
with a label.
it's just i-cared-about-you-and-i-loved-you-and-i-still-do-and-
eventually, i think, this becomes a quiet whisper in my ear that
appears at any sudden moment and it says "i wish you were here".
I'm sorry.Everyday, I think about what has happened between us.I'm sorry.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It took two days, to destroy what we had for a year.
I keep wondering how this all happened.
But I just can't understand why.
You said that our friendship would be forever long,
But now, it has all turned into ash.
My heart hurts to see that this has been done,
Because I know so well that it'll never be fixed.
I never believed in those novels,
Where they said best friends would always fall for each other.
Though I had to believe it,
When you told me you fell for me.
I was so confused; I didn't know what to do.
Then I reacted in the most unpleasant way,
I pushed you away because of my problems.
Now I know I shouldn't have done that.
All that we've been through,
Fighting so much to keep what we have.
Sacrificing to keep our friendship going,
I blew it all away with my own hands.
I was so mad at you, for being inconsiderate.
But then, I heard something that changed my life.
You tried to hurt yourself because you cared about me,
LonelyA deep feeling that has haunted me for yearsLonely4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That one feeling that always confirms my fears
I'm so alone . . . . . .
This vague feeling that follows me around
Always waiting for a chance to bring me down
This empty pit has been with me my whole life
Ripping my confidence apart with a sharp scythe
Tearing through my heart and my brain
Flooding my emotions to the bridge with pain
Whenever I get happy you come back strong
And you stay by my side and inside for so long
I wish I could fight this pressure I feel
So I can live my life right and let it heal
I wish I could find someone who loves me for who I am
Who doesn't focus on my flaws that ruin the canvass
Nobody is perfect and I'm not even close
This is why I feel so alone
I wish I could find people who would support me forever
Who wouldn't get bored and just move on
Leaving me behind like always
Leaving me alone
I wish I could sleep well at night
Knowing that tomorrow it'll be alright
And I will never ever have another fight
Bed of darknessI lie in darkness,Bed of darkness4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
As if it were my bed.
It is where I feel the most at home.
In my darkness,
I draw close the emptiness,
As if it were the warmest blanket in existence.
And for my pillow?
There is nothing.
It's only a metaphor, for crying out loud.
Where?Where's your voice?Where?4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I have lost
its sweetest tones
amidst the rush;
it was endorphins
and a witness
to my happiness.
Where's your smile?
in words that say
that they are it
but do not look
like stars or pearls or Heav'n.
Where are you,
who said "hello"
to my heart with your own,
and brought with it a joy
surpassed by nothing else?
I've lost you in the phone lines,
the screens of green and white
and yet again the rush.
Blue RosesOnce again I sleep aloneBlue Roses4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
As this is all I have ever known
I sometimes wish it was not so
But I'm getting used to being alone
I slip into a fantasy dream world
Where unlike reality I am in control
Where I can confess my love for you
And you say you love me too
She holds a blue rose to her eyes
Her gorgeous bright blue eyes
A flicker of the cutest smile
A flame of love embracing her style
Roses are red and violets are blue
This is supposed to be why I love you
But here the roses are not red
They are blue because I love you
I wake up from my fantastic dream
Embrace the shower filled with steam
I look forward to the moment I see you
To enjoy being in love with you
I want to find you so that I can explain
I want to find out if you feel the same
Nothing in the world could make me stop
I walk through the rain to the flower shop
Buy a dozen roses and make them blue
A sign in my heart that I love you
Forced EmotionsSo I'm a sadistic bitchForced Emotions4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A Satan worshipping monster
You persecute me for not believing
You punish me for having my own thoughts
I shouldn't have to work for your love
I shouldn't have to earn my rights as a fellow human being
My emotions shouldn't be forced
Stop pushing me, they're cracking
Shattering like glass
Cutting me up
Bleeding out my love
My dripping heart pinned to my blood stained sleeve
Apathy just barely manages to hold the pieces together
Barely keeps me sane
You keep me in a downward spiral
Heading to the personal hell you imagined up for me
My beating heart seems out of place
Too much noise, too much pain
Make it stop
Get it outa my head
Cut it outa my chest
Gotta get you outa my life
I'm keeping the demons in my head occupied with what I'm doing to my flesh
Appeasing the skeletons in the closet with my blood
Each line sketched onto my skin is a point for me
Another tally on my pale chalkboard skin
Listening to the flow of blood is the only thing that quiets t
I'm DreamingWhen I'm dreamingI'm Dreaming4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
When I'm feeling
This warmth in my heart
When I'm dreaming
When I'm believing
This feeling that I got
When I'm dreaming
When I'm stealing
Your mind and your heart
When I'm dreaming
When I'm kneeling
And asking you share my heart
A reality so much like reality
The only possible possibility
Is that your dreaming
Dreaming . . .. .
When I'm dreaming
My heart goes to you
When I'm dreaming
Our hearts beat as two
Day 3: 8 ways to win my heart1) Listen and like my music, I know this is weird but it is so important to me. I pour my heart and soul into my music, I spend countless hours developing my skills in lyric writing, guitar composition, building up guitar skill. Working on song structures. Trying to learn to sing, etc.Day 3: 8 ways to win my heart4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The end result is a cross section of my heart and how I feel inside, whether the song is happy, that means I am and so forth for other tones. I am my music, if you don't like my music, you don't like me. It's my one big passion.
2) Don't be a bitch. This is pretty simple I guess, but being a bitch is a massive turn off. I'm not
saying just being a bitch to me, that's definately not how to win my heart, but don't be bitchy towards other people as I find it extremely unattractive.
3) Smile. I love people who are happy, and who in return make me happy. My mood generally reflects that of people around me, so if I'm with someone who's beaming with positivity I will feel amazing and like you for it.
4) Like me
Between HeartbeatsWe hold in our kiss what you once called the beauty of a fading dream,Between Heartbeats4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
The light to what seems to be a way of desperation,
Or perhaps just one to break down my seams.
Your touch calls upon my skin waves upon waves of trembling need,
Leaving me in fear of your breath-taking little smiles,
A chance to lose my mind to this consolation of love in between.
But I'm the one who has been preaching the lack of beauty in a fading dream,
Lighting the light in making our own unfading dreams,
And to perhaps hoping to fall in love somewhere in between.
Marble ShadowThe more you believeMarble Shadow4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
The more real it gets
The more you think you see
The more is seen
A creation of our minds
But not imagination
Brought on by belief
The dark shadow now I know I see
You cannot run if you believe
The myth is no myth
A Note about Lovers...A Note about Lovers...5 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Friendship, where you enjoy each other's company and accept them for the person they are.
Having moments where you can talk to each other with confidence about anything and everything.
Laughing at each other and having fun to the point that all your previous worries and sadness doesn't matter anymore.
A moment where you look into each other's joyful eyes and feel a warm contentment, that makes you feel forever happy inside.
Both sheltering under an umbrella and despite the horrid rainy weather, having each other's company is enough to brighten ones day, where the rain never appears dismal anymore.
Wanting to get closer, where squeezing against each other under an small umbrella is not a problem.
Talking and looking into each other's eyes with confidence that they feel the same as you do.
A natural process, where two
EyesIf only you could read my eyes.Eyes4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Then you'd know the truth.
When talking to people who I don't want to share
My innermost feelings, heartfelt thoughts, and real personality with,
I glare at them with neutral eyes, so they can never figure me out,
And show them a sly and simple smile.
But when talking to people who I trust, people who I love,
People who I can be my complete self around,
My eyes are wide open and ready to be read,
If, of course, this person dares.
I only allow this opportunity,
To a restricted few.
One, two? At the most, three people.
I always give my eyes to You.
And you have not dared.
You haven't dared.
Otherwise you would know
That I have dared to look into your eyes;
So rudely, I penetrate your soul
To see if I mean anything to you,
And see if what my heart says is true.
And you fail to notice.
I know you fail.
I know you failed,
Otherwise you would not have said those
That are now constantly echoing in my mind.
Now I'm talking to m
Its All About the Money, SonnyBleed, baby, bleedIts All About the Money, Sonny5 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Your pain is all I need
Run, baby, run
Let's have some fun
Hide, baby, hide
I'll still find you
So, what are you gonna do?
Die, baby, die
And let me tell you
You lied, baby, lied
Hell, I may even cry
Burn, baby, burn
It's time to take your turn
Of this, no one will ever learn.
Butter Scotch CandyYou said I love you,Butter Scotch Candy5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And you lied,
I guess I'm not,
A big part,
In your life.
When you kissed me,
My world was whole,
I guess because I loved you,
I was the fool.
Now you have another,
That you're going to use,
Just like you did me.
You're going to unwrap and savor her,
Like a piece of butter scotch candy.
Paper Cuts Can Be Miles Deep(I felt like a little cheat when I noticed yours before you read my piece. It felt wrong to know of yours, and not have it the other way around. Sisters and once-sisters won't hurt another, right? Proven wrong before, but this might be different. I screamed at myself to keep these traitor lips shut, but they opened and spilled out like a pillow cut and ripped - once the feathers have scattered, there is no way to find each and every one again.)Paper Cuts Can Be Miles Deep4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It's the secret
that did not keep itself
from my lips,
and now it is sitting
and I find that I'm asking myself
how long it will take
until it spills.
(Somehow I know it won't. I hope. I trust. I tell myself you are not them, and that even though the words you picked to tell me that you won't hurt me are the same ones they used, I convince myself that your words won't hurt me like theirs did - that you won't hurt me.)
You noticed the few words
that spelled me out like a book
written in your perfect language,
and I cou