cleverbot is a dumbassUser: Hi.cleverbot is a dumbass5 years ago in Comedy More Like This
Cleverbot: How are you?
User: Im fine.
Cleverbot: Thats good.
User: So you like donuts?
Cleverbot: Yes I do, do you.
User: Yes but that's not the kind of donut I meant.
Cleverbot: Yes. We talk often.
Cleverbot: Are you a female?
User: I'm a male.
Cleverbot: Are you handsome?
Cleverbot: I thought you said that you liked me?
User: I never said that!
Cleverbot: Yes you did! Here the exact words: 'Okay, then please speak some japanese to me?'.
Cleverbot: You're the dumb bot.
Cleverbot: Do you like pigs?
User: Do you like pigs.
Cleverbot: Do you like pigs?
User: You like to fuck pigs.
Cleverbot: What does vex mean?
User: Say what.
Cleverbot: Do you like Karl Marx?
User: You're stupid.
Cleverbot: Don't tell me that.
User: Tell you what?
Cleverbot: Your age.
User: Define age.
User: You dumbshit succubus.
Cleverbot: I seem to have heard that before.
User: Orly? Where?
Cleverbot: No that's just a movie quote I th
A Pawn of WarI am watching over this large field tied by glowing sunset on west. On north I can see the enemy`s army coming in my direction looking at my King`s army, I can see only a very few men remain from previous battle, the same I would say from ours foe`s army yet with a remains from army with big loses to both sides reducing each Battalion to what can be said at best has become a Squad looking at men, the best of best from each forces yet the most loyal soldiers each one prepared to give away their life without looking back at this point and between this men there is me, a warrior born to sacrifice myself for my country, king and people with that in mind I come to think which could come to be my last thoughts in my life.A Pawn of War4 years ago in Drama More Like This
What come to me was only 3 things, the birth of my son and his growth until the day that come with this army until here, my wife that I can`t see forget even on this bloodish field bathed by the sun I still remember the day that I asked her to mine and her words that follow
My Helpful Hints Writer'sBlockStoryWolf's Helpful HintsMy Helpful Hints Writer'sBlock4 years ago in Comedy More Like This
The worst thing that could happen to a creative writer and
what really drives my crazy is writer's block.
It happens to every writer at least once or multiple times.
You have this idea in your head, but no matter how hard you try,
your brain just doesn't want to talk to your pencil and paper
Story: Come on, why wont you work with me?!
Computer: It's 4 am and you're writing this stupid skit.
Story: Don't argue with me, I know where your power cord is.
Here are a few helpful hints that help me when I'm stuck.
#1: Listen to Music.
Music is full of inspiration and requires the use of both sides
of the brain to listen to and sing. The rhythm of a song can also
set the mood for a scene that you're writing and (if you're typing)
can actually give you a rhythm to type to. I use this method a lot
because I love music.
Boy in the Striped PyjamasBoy in the Striped Pyjamas3 years ago in Drama More Like This
I don't believe it. I DON'T believe it! I never imagined I would ever EVER have to be here: At my own son's funeral, at the age that I am. He was so young, so innocent. Just a boy, just a boy.
We lived in Berlin, in a fine house. The children were happy they attended school; had friends. I had friends! We had parties. We had a life! Gatherings with the Furer and his lovely faience; Life was good. It all started when my beloved husband received a promotion, from the Furer himself! He had a special job he wouldn't tell us and had to leave, to live far away. I couldn't see him leave us. I wept and I wept. I WOULDN'T see him leave us. I set Maria, Lars and Cook to packing for the move. Bruno wasn't happy and put up quite an opposition.
Ralph left the night before we did. We finished packing in the morning and I kept my head down. This house held so many fond memories for me gatherings with Ralph's colleagues, children's
What have the Jews ever done for us?!(Yes, I'm basing this off of the incredibly funny Monty Python skit, What have the Romans ever done for us.)What have the Jews ever done for us?!3 years ago in Comedy More Like This
What have the Jews ever done for us?!
(Somewhere in Germany, in Nuremberg, in a secret building)
(A bunch of Neo-nazis are talking)
Head Nazi: (stands up to podium) Alright! Order everybody, order!
(Nazis keep talking.)
Head Nazi: (sigh) Heinrich, if you will?
Nazi 1: (nods, pulls out air horn and HONKS it. Nazis all stop talking and their heads snap foreword)
Head Nazi: Thank you! Alright, everybody, welcome to the secret underground meeting of the neo-nazis, its good to have you all here. Now lets get right down to business. The main goal of the neo-nazi party is to rid Germany and Europe and then the world of the Jews.
(Nazis all nod in excitement.)
Head Nazi: After all, what have the Jews ever done for us?!
(Silence and then one Nazi slowly raises hand.)
Nazi 2: The cure for polio?
Head Nazi: What?
Nazi 3: Oh yeah! The polio vaccine was invented by Jonas Salk, a Jew!
Radiohead Puns.I think Radiohead is Just the best band. Some say I Might Be Wrong in saying so; that Anyone Can Play Guitar like Jonny or Thom or Ed. I Can't believe there's people who think that... How Do You even think anyone can compare to them? I honestly think they're good enough that almost any of their songs could qualify to be The National Anthem of a country. While you may think I'm wasting my Dollars And Cents by buying all their albums, I Will continue to collect their CDs and even some lives on Videotape.Radiohead Puns.4 years ago in Comedy More Like This
And there are those who say The King of Limbs was a bit of a Let Down. That we all knew it was coming; that it contained No Surprises. That they're going downhill, and that they should simply Give Up The Ghost and stop writing altogether. But if you ask me, they've still got Everything In Its Right Place and I will therefore remain Optimistic about their future releases. You can Sulk all you want; I still enjoy their music right down to my Bones. If we're Lucky, they'll return to their r
Freaky Fred ScriptFreaky Fred Script4 years ago in Comedy More Like This
Hello new friend, my name is Fred
the words you hear are in my head.
I say, I said my name is Fred,
and I've been... very naughty.
The story I'm about to tell,
I tell you, I will tell you well,
Is of my dear aunt Muriel,
and just how I've been... naughty.
Voila the farm. My aunt lives here,
with precious pup, and husband dear.
My heart beats fast as I drew near,
I feel so nice... and naughty.
I thought just how excited they,
must be that I would come today,
they'd shout "come Fred! huzzah! hooray!
Dear boy you look so... naughty."
That's when my tired eyes beheld,
a doggy dog, like dog, he smelled,
D-O-G, is what he spelled,
and that's how I spell... naughty.
Alone was I, with tender Courage,
and all his fur, his furry furrage,
which, I say, did encourage,
me, to be... quite naughty.
Courage... your hair...
it reminds me of the first time I knew just how,
I felt, about hair.
It was a day, I'd not forget,
the day that I first met my pet,
oh what a lovely gift to get,
I'd never felt so..
Latvia and CleverbotUser: H-hello...Latvia and Cleverbot5 years ago in Comedy More Like This
User: Um... H-how are y-you?
Cleverbot: I'm scared.
User: M-me too... W-why a-a-are you s-scared?
Cleverbot: Are you alone?
User: I th-think s-so... W-why? I-IS R-R-RUSSIA H-HERE?!
Cleverbot: Why do you love me?
User: W-what? I n-never s-said I d-did.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry. Language is often too difficult for human beings to understand$.
Cleverbot: It's good, I promise.
User: W-what is?
Cleverbot: I'm thinking of a number from one to one-hundred. You guess the number.
Cleverbot: Wrong. It's hammer time.
User: WAAAH!! PLEASE DON'T HIT ME.
Cleverbot: You don't exist in a physical way. Even if I hit you, you wouldn't feel it.
User: B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but, I-I-I'm R-R-Raivis. I e-e-e-exist ph-physically.
Cleverbot: You can give me a good time?
Cleverbot: You heard me.
User: I-Is th-this R-Russia?
Cleverbot: Yes, it's the biggest country in the world.
User: I'M SORRY!!!!
Cleverbot: No way ! You can't know everything !