addictionaddiction11 years ago in General More Like This
have you ever been an addict. and im not talking
about the hey-i-like-to-do-this-alot type of addict.
im talking about the
type of addict. im an addict. ive never blown anyone
to get it. i dont think i would. but i havent been
given the opportunity to either. the reason i say 'i
dont think i would' is because i like to pretend that
i still have something thats mine. dignity, pride,
standards. but i know i would easily toss those away
just to get it. i know because i have. so all i
really have is it. for one hour. for two hours. for
fifteen minutes or however long it last. however long
i can afford it to last. ill be high for fifteen
minutes if thats all i can get.
im an addict. i dont get high just to get high. i
get high just to get my mind off getting high for a
few hours. after a fix im good for eight hours.
maybe. then the last of my previous highs memory
cells dry up and i want. need. how ca
Silenced by DeathRip my brain out and leave my skull empty.Silenced by Death2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I'll take this death as a blessing,
as it stops my thoughts
that rush by like a roaring creak.
No more will voices scream at me,
telling me what to do.
No one fucking wants you, you stupid bitch.
Stop eating; you're fatter than a whale.
They're lying to you, you aren't beautiful
He doesn't love you.
You're pathetic. A whiny little dyke
that should go jump off a bridge.
Slit your wrists and bleed to death.
Everyone will be so much happier with you gone.
We don't want you here.
Go die, you whore.
No more will these memories replay
over and over;
torturing me and breaking my heart again.
A resounding slap echoes throughout the apartment
as I close my eyes tightly and grit my teeth
to try and block out the sting of a disappointed parent.
I refuse to open them and see that face
full of rage and regret
of ever creating this disgusting creature they now call their child.
I clench my fists, trembling lightly from the restraint
it takes for m
Drugs:Such drugs these drugs, Such wonderful drugs!Drugs:7 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
This drug does this, and this does what it does.
So many pills on the shelves today,
Many of them legal, so come what may.
Side effects, strange actions, all things can be fixed!
They crush up some plants and create a new mix.
A drug for everything from headache to AIDS,
You can take them yourself! No need for a maid.
You become old and decrepit, but still living fine.
Because we have drugs to save you, until the end of time.
FineIts the closest Ive ever been to perfectFine6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Its the closest that Ive been to fine
Its the simplest kind of wonderful
Knowing theres something
It's All In the WayIt's All In the Way9 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
It's in the way you hold me,
It's in the way you care,
It's in the way you told me,
That you always will be there.
I can hear it in your voice,
I can hear it in your smile,
That even when you're not with me,
You'll still be here for a while.
I can feel it in your hands,
I can feel it in your embrace,
I can feel it when you lightly brush
Your fingers across my face.
I can see it in your eyes,
I can see it in your gaze,
And I know, the love we share,
Is definitely not a phase.
Ink From Paper To WristSo many broken promisesInk From Paper To Wrist3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Lie under the surface of artificial smiles
And if you could just see under her sleeves
You'd see into her heart for miles
One wrist is hectic
One wrist cut straight
The first symbolizes love
The second represents her hate
She misses having a purpose
Even when the purpose was pain
Because now she can't cry anymore
And has no reason to dance in the rain
She swore she'd fight this demon
So she threw the razor away
So now the cuts can't get deeper
And the demons gone for another day.
Lost in LoveI need someoneLost in Love3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
And you need someone too
I feel that I am drifting
In a dream without a clue
Dreaming of the girl
That I could be
Looking in the mirror
Wondering who it is that's me
When everyone is asking me
To be someone else
I just want to be free
To hold you close
To hold you tight
To know that something
Won't fall away
I don't know who I am
But I know for sure
That I need you today
I know that I mean something
When I see your eyes
Softly gently lovingly gazing
At the person that is me
And I wonder oh I wonder
How that could be
And who is it you see
When your staring back at me
It's almost like you see someone
It's like you know who I am
And I wonder how anyone can
But I need you honey
I need you darling
I love the person that is you
I wonder what it says about who I am
If I'm in love with you
HopeIn this darkened world of pain and sufferingHope2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Is there a light to guide our way
Into a hope of a brighter future
Into the splendid light of day
Or are we destined to stay where we are
Broken, unstable and gasping for breath
I want to believe that we can rise above it
I want us to be free of our negative selves
Cause in this world we live in we've created
No one can fish us out
No one can give us new air
It's up to us to start anew
And give our souls a break from the past
Cause we can't stay there
We have to move forward
Or we will stay
Shrivel and die
Inside the disease we've created
A Nameless Attempt"Why do you have your own name written on your hand?"A Nameless Attempt6 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"So I won't forget it."
"What if the rain washes it away?"
"I always carry a black marker. I'll write my name again on top of the stains and remains of ink."
"Do you ever wish you could be someone else?"
"I don't know. Someone stronger."
"I couldn't. I only know how to write my own name with my marker."
"I've been practising for years on how to write it just perfect."
"How does it look now?"
"Why did you change to red markers?"
"I was out of black markers, so I tried a red one."
"Does it change anything?"
"It changes everything."
"It's just ink, though."
"It's my name, being absorbed by my skin and veins, sent into my bloodstream."
"What happens now?"
"I don't know."
"I brought you a black marker. You can have it, if you want."
"No thanks, I have plenty of red ones."
"I thought you loved black markers. You always used them."
"I like red ones better now. They stain less."
"I liked it when
You, Caffeine and CigarettesI crave youYou, Caffeine and Cigarettes2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I need you like an addict
Needs their fix
And if I was addicted
Would you mind?
Addicted to what?
Or cigarettes. Cigarettes?
Would you mind
That I smoke forty
A day or that I shake
Withdrawal or overdose?
Well, would you mind
That I write, like an addict,
About you and your smile
And your hair and your laugh
And your voice and your beauty?
From the heartYou carry scars and walk with tired eyes,From the heart3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Only you know your heart and what happens inside.
Unending pain, memories, can bind your mind,
And that past can truly hurt, only one step behind.
No matter how many came before the seventy two,
Dont ever forget that one promise, you made to you.
In time scars fade, but your promise will keeps its power,
When your heart starts to hurt, no matter the hour,
Always remember it, never let depression devour.
Life can be a battle, there are times you must truly fight,
Know you arent alone, and give it all your might.
There are things that can happen, that can never be taken back,
Others can be hidden, thrown away in a sack.
Good things will come, they will push away the bad,
Everytime, I too will be there, whenever you are sad.
These hands may be strong, but with them i choose to write,
Here is what i choose to do, i need not for any might.
Each tear on the page, a testament to care.
Really each one, and shed them i dare.
Please remain strong, and ne
TruthsI'm jealous of youTruths6 years ago in Other More Like This
Some days so much so that
I hate you
But it never lasts for long
I'm keeping a secret from you
Something so important
It would rearrange what you think
It would make you wonder
What else Im hiding
What else you still dont know
Youll never know
You are not my angel
You have no wings
Not even broken ones
You will never be able to save me
You cant lift me to the sky
I told him everything
Everything you ever said to me
Word for word
Because he needed to hear those things
He needed them more than you needed my loyalty
But now I regret it
Because those words were all he ever wanted
I am not his friend
I do want your body
I want to feel your lips
But I dont want your mind
And theyre a package deal
I think youre a liar
I think you pretend
The sick part is that it works
I still want you
Though you dont want me
I want us to not be joking
I want you to be serio
Judgemental FuckOf all the things people look at,Judgemental Fuck2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Why is personality ignored?
Of all the things for you to say,
Why did you call me a faggot?
I should let it go,
But I cannot.
I am fragile,
But do you care?
You do not?
Of all the things for you to question,
Why do you choose my hair?
Of all the things to keep to yourself,
Why did you make your opinion known?
I am my own person,
I do not conform.
Perhaps I should,
Then I would be like you,
Would I not?
Of all the people in this world,
Why do you befriend him?
Of all the things you can choose,
Why do you choose money?
I hate you for that, and
I will never be your friend.
You are a showoff,
A rat. But wait.
I am judging you,
Does that not make me
A Judgemental Fuck?
WorthyWorthy 1/6/09Worthy6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You smile, but your melancholic eyes
give you away by glistening like
green glass about to shatter.
I ask, but you cannot recall a bright day.
You own a pain so deep it hurts me.
My tolerance is high enough for us both.
You are afraid that if you let go,
you will have nothing and be empty.
This hurt does not define you.
The walls begin to melt, all
those buried feelings are felt.
The stone castle you meticulously built
crumbles down along with your doubt and guilt.
I'll meet you halfway between
absolute truth and deceiving dreams.
We can create our own imperfect
out crippling fear, where hope
is alive and near.
The more you resist the more I persist.
You are worthy my sweet one,
beautiful through and through.
I know you don't hear that enough.
Just believe that I believe it is true.
You need saving from your mental prison -
the key locked away where only you can reach.
Guide me there and I will release you
from your self-imposed
9:11I stare at the clock,9:113 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
it reads the same as it does.
9:11 it whispers into my ears.
Ashes fall from my ceiling,
as faint screams echo throughout my mind.
The clock still reads 9:11,
its frozen there within time.
I see one then both-
They go down fast...
9:11 the clock reads-
forever it reads.
Written within history,
the clock tells me about devastation-
the clock floods my mind.
9:11, as it still reads.
bipolarI feel I'm chained up in a cagebipolar4 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Emotions all around
Catch one, keep one
Feel for awhile
When I'm done let it die
Find a new one, feel it, too
So used to change at random
My thoughts are set on shuffle
Almost feels normal
But I'm a freak
Not Okay, Never fine
I can't get out
I wish i could
Then maybe I'd be free
Or maybe it would follow me
The Confusion could live on
But for now I'm still locked in
With emotions all around
I'll catch one, keep one
Feel it for awhile
When I'm done I'll let it die
Then find a new one, feel it, too
The cycle keeps repeating itself
Until the day I die.
for every drop of bloodfor every drop of blood10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Every drop of blood has a meaning
One, for every tear I've shed
Two for every minute when that man took my innocence away
Three for all the times you pushed me down
Four for all the times no one understood my pain…
Five for all the lies you ever said
Six for every time my friends stab me in the back
Seven for all the nights I went to sleep crying begging for help
Eight for every hit I had to take…
Nine for all the time alone
Ten for all the scars on my arms
And the rest are for all the pain I felt inside
While waiting for something that were never seen by my eyes…
Just A Little Unwell. IIShe comes across a stick lying purposefully on the side of the road. Shes walked a steady mile without a companion, but the stick looks lonely and so does she. She picks the stick up, thumping it on the ground with each alternating step.Just A Little Unwell. II6 years ago in Transgressive More Like This
When we dream of life, we dream of love and strife, but if life is but a dream, our dreams must have a dream-like theme, because life is but a dream, fit content in all lifes scheme, she sings, belting out each lyric and thumping the stick for added emphasis.
She walks through a forest that is only for her eyes, twirling around to thump her stick on its fellow trees. The stick sings along to her melodic song, happy that it no longer has to support its many limbs and joyous that it now has a friend. She feels the crunch of the brush beneath her shoes, but she also feels the soft moss beneath the layers and layers of decaying trees.
Her song ends and she falls to the floor, exhausted. Pain shoots up her knees and she wonders where
I Murder Christian BoysMany years, and yes, I still wear a plastic-femur necklace. It makes little sense, but it was supposed to be symbolic.I Murder Christian Boys4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
(p.s. I'm barely Christian)
The space heater is beginning to gag and wheeze in electrical spurts of life, but it's COLD baby and December has more icicle teeth than this heater can survive.
(p.s. I am supposed to be at school, but truancy is just so trendy.)
Here We Go Again
The endless reel/fishingline/movieclip/reality.
(p.s. you can say(remember) it with any word you want)
Row boat lost
addictaddict10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The pain is unbearable
Ready to kill
You need one more hit
Just a small fix
To make you forget
The tears roll down
Your blood streaked face
And you wonder WHY
A god would let you live this way
Eek. - FourHave you ever just plain forgotten something that didnt even seem possible to forget? Like, your favorite color or your mothers name. Those are things that are supposed to stick with you but every once in a while you find yourself fiddling with the phone, wanting, but finding that you cant bring yourself to call your mother and ask for a reminder.Eek. - Four5 years ago in Transgressive More Like This
I can remember my mothers name, Kelly, as well as I could when she was alive. This morning, however, it came as a shock to me to remember quite suddenly that my birthday was only three weeks away.
It absolutely rattled me, so much so that I had to get out of the house.
Hoping that the fresh air would do me good, I forwent the car and started walking up the road, making it a game to see how long my strides could get and how quickly I could propel myself up the road.
My house is technically located in suburbia, but the businesses around here are smart enough to crop up close to home. I ducked in at the first place
The EndingIt took thoughtThe Ending5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It took questions
It took a war
And when the smoke
And the headaches
An empty battlefield
It took courage
And a mask of defiance
Of so many days
It took stupidity
On just one actor
It took a strong voice
And an inability to speak
Only a moment
In dependant womanIn dependant woman11 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
In dependant women i find the brink of lost hope
A tilted ice skating rink
With a layer of soft soap.
A broken vase. Poker face. No joker, ace.
The hand shes dealt is knuckles
and a battery of bible belt buckles
She wears the make up so he wont lose face.
Fat slouch, soiled briefs, mouthful of tooth paste.
He's a relic from a past era.
She will never run faster than her mascara.
Scared...waiting for the second R to come
Scarred...no healing, beckon martyrdom.
Far from numb...but palsy ingrained
A flesh of mesh...and everything taken in vein.
Maiden turned maid
Laden with Jade
A once bright son, faded to shade.
Lost first, past second, now life is third nature.
Memory's mummery and mammary's milk
Now nothing but a trifle herd of stray blurs...
Eyes of overdue cataracts
Still life lies in matters of fact.
Her excuses are frail.
Each night she reads her bruises like Braille.