addictionaddiction11 years ago in General More Like This
have you ever been an addict. and im not talking
about the hey-i-like-to-do-this-alot type of addict.
im talking about the
type of addict. im an addict. ive never blown anyone
to get it. i dont think i would. but i havent been
given the opportunity to either. the reason i say 'i
dont think i would' is because i like to pretend that
i still have something thats mine. dignity, pride,
standards. but i know i would easily toss those away
just to get it. i know because i have. so all i
really have is it. for one hour. for two hours. for
fifteen minutes or however long it last. however long
i can afford it to last. ill be high for fifteen
minutes if thats all i can get.
im an addict. i dont get high just to get high. i
get high just to get my mind off getting high for a
few hours. after a fix im good for eight hours.
maybe. then the last of my previous highs memory
cells dry up and i want. need. how ca
WorthyWorthy 1/6/09Worthy6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You smile, but your melancholic eyes
give you away by glistening like
sea green glass about to shatter.
I ask, but you cannot recall a bright day.
You own a pain so deep it hurts me.
My tolerance is high enough for the both of us.
You are afraid that if you let go,
you will have nothing and be empty.
This hurt does not define you.
The walls begin to slowly melt
as all those buried feelings are felt.
The stone castle you meticulously built
crumbles down with your doubt and guilt.
I'll meet you halfway between
absolute truth and deceiving dreams.
We can create our own imperfect
out crippling fear where hope
is alive and always near.
The more you resist the more I persist.
You are worthy my sweet one,
beautiful through and through.
I know you don't hear that enough.
Just believe that I believe it's true.
You need saving from your mental prison -
the key locked away where only you can reach.
Guide me there and I will release you
IFIF7 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
If I loved you and you let me
What would life have looked like then?
In the midst of all our quarrels
Where could love begin to live?
If I followed where you led me
How much darkness would I see?
If you did all that you promised
Would you still be here with me.
Life is love and care and sharing
And its dedication too.
When the one you love is falling
Catching them is up to you.
As the sun sets in the evening
and the fireflys buzz round.
Dont forget the love you promised
Hold them close, dont let them down.
Days are brighter, life is good
Seems that love will find a way.
Never doubt the love youre given
Or it might just slip away!
CENSOR THIS 08880CENSOR THIS 0888013 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I remember when I know why the cage bird sings
was challenged for the "encouragement to take action
in premarital sex, homosexuality, and the use of
I remember when the Bible was banned and/or
challenged for being "pornography and obscene"
in Alaska and Pennsylvania in 1993.
I remember when the The Autobiography of
Malcolm-X was challenged in Flordia in 1994--
because it was "racist against white people"
I remember when Jambo Means Hello: The Swahili
Alphabet was charged with "degrading white
children" although it was a book for white children to
understand the African-American culture much better.
I remember when Daddy's Roomate was removed
by most libraries by most of the United States---for
You, Caffeine and CigarettesI crave youYou, Caffeine and Cigarettes3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I need you like an addict
Needs their fix
And if I was addicted
Would you mind?
Addicted to what?
Or cigarettes. Cigarettes?
Would you mind
That I smoke forty
A day or that I shake
Withdrawal or overdose?
Well, would you mind
That I write, like an addict,
About you and your smile
And your hair and your laugh
And your voice and your beauty?
kissing your eyelidsi.kissing your eyelids7 years ago in Biography & Memoir More Like This
i cannot tell you.
i am afraid to open my mouth because i know the aperture is tempting, and i do not want you to see the raw that has spread from my heart to the back of my throat.
i am afraid to speak because the slightest movement will give me to you, and i cannot trust that i am ready for the plunge. your hands are inching me closer by the day and i am trying to read the fortune of your open palms but they tell me nothing about how to fall. they dont even tell me your story but somehow they still manage to be the most beautiful thing in the world.
i am standing on the verge. i have noticed that you give yourself better when i am not looking, so i unlock our gaze with the key of my patience and look away when you speak of the things your heart skips over.
anything to make you feel safer.
there is sleep in your voice when your baritone carries over miles of wire and i am amazed it does not crackle with the electricity
A Nameless Attempt"Why do you have your own name written on your hand?"A Nameless Attempt7 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"So I won't forget it."
"What if the rain washes it away?"
"I always carry a black marker. I'll write my name again on top of the stains and remains of ink."
"Do you ever wish you could be someone else?"
"I don't know. Someone stronger."
"I couldn't. I only know how to write my own name with my marker."
"I've been practising for years on how to write it just perfect."
"How does it look now?"
"Why did you change to red markers?"
"I was out of black markers, so I tried a red one."
"Does it change anything?"
"It changes everything."
"It's just ink, though."
"It's my name, being absorbed by my skin and veins, sent into my bloodstream."
"What happens now?"
"I don't know."
"I brought you a black marker. You can have it, if you want."
"No thanks, I have plenty of red ones."
"I thought you loved black markers. You always used them."
"I like red ones better now. They stain less."
"I liked it when
TruthsI'm jealous of youTruths6 years ago in Other More Like This
Some days so much so that
I hate you
But it never lasts for long
I'm keeping a secret from you
Something so important
It would rearrange what you think
It would make you wonder
What else Im hiding
What else you still dont know
Youll never know
You are not my angel
You have no wings
Not even broken ones
You will never be able to save me
You cant lift me to the sky
I told him everything
Everything you ever said to me
Word for word
Because he needed to hear those things
He needed them more than you needed my loyalty
But now I regret it
Because those words were all he ever wanted
I am not his friend
I do want your body
I want to feel your lips
But I dont want your mind
And theyre a package deal
I think youre a liar
I think you pretend
The sick part is that it works
I still want you
Though you dont want me
I want us to not be joking
I want you to be serio
In dependant womanIn dependant woman12 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
In dependant women i find the brink of lost hope
A tilted ice skating rink
With a layer of soft soap.
A broken vase. Poker face. No joker, ace.
The hand shes dealt is knuckles
and a battery of bible belt buckles
She wears the make up so he wont lose face.
Fat slouch, soiled briefs, mouthful of tooth paste.
He's a relic from a past era.
She will never run faster than her mascara.
Scared...waiting for the second R to come
Scarred...no healing, beckon martyrdom.
Far from numb...but palsy ingrained
A flesh of mesh...and everything taken in vein.
Maiden turned maid
Laden with Jade
A once bright son, faded to shade.
Lost first, past second, now life is third nature.
Memory's mummery and mammary's milk
Now nothing but a trifle herd of stray blurs...
Eyes of overdue cataracts
Still life lies in matters of fact.
Her excuses are frail.
Each night she reads her bruises like Braille.
Childish.My head is swimming with visionsChildish.7 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
That'll never ever come true
There's nothing quite like daydreams
To submerse yourself into
I think about my future
and whether I'll change my mind
About my views on marriage or
Leaving childhood behind
I think of where I'll live,
and rarely what I'll do
I dream that I might travel
Around the world with you
See now, there's my problem
The "you" in that equation
Lately I've been faced with
A "you"-filled mind invasion
I wonder what you're doing
How 'bout if I was there?
I dream that you're thinking of me
Though you're not, I'm well aware.
I imagine what we'd talk about
and what we'd want to say
I try to think of how you'd move
And how, by me, you'd lay
But mostly I imagine
You can see my daydreams too
I know that it's impossible
I know that it's not true
But I still like to imagine
What it'd be like if you did...
Too bad it wouldn't matter
'Cause I'm just some stupid kid.
I should put these thoughts behind me
'Cause this annoyance is my cue
Eek. - FourHave you ever just plain forgotten something that didnt even seem possible to forget? Like, your favorite color or your mothers name. Those are things that are supposed to stick with you but every once in a while you find yourself fiddling with the phone, wanting, but finding that you cant bring yourself to call your mother and ask for a reminder.Eek. - Four6 years ago in Transgressive More Like This
I can remember my mothers name, Kelly, as well as I could when she was alive. This morning, however, it came as a shock to me to remember quite suddenly that my birthday was only three weeks away.
It absolutely rattled me, so much so that I had to get out of the house.
Hoping that the fresh air would do me good, I forwent the car and started walking up the road, making it a game to see how long my strides could get and how quickly I could propel myself up the road.
My house is technically located in suburbia, but the businesses around here are smart enough to crop up close to home. I ducked in at the first place
9:11I stare at the clock,9:114 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
it reads the same as it does.
9:11 it whispers into my ears.
Ashes fall from my ceiling,
as faint screams echo throughout my mind.
The clock still reads 9:11,
its frozen there within time.
I see one then both-
They go down fast...
9:11 the clock reads-
forever it reads.
Written within history,
the clock tells me about devastation-
the clock floods my mind.
9:11, as it still reads.
On HalloweenShe said "I'm dying", with a jack-o-lantern grinOn Halloween7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Then smiled and giggled and held up a heart shaped lolly
She said "This contains carbs"
And bit down so it shattered
The brittle shards of sugar coated her tongue as she laughed
Her breath smelled like fake cherries
Her teeth tasted of bright glass
She said "I like your smile"
And touched his face
She traced the spirals that only she could see
Her fingertips were cool against his skin
She said "All I need now is you"
And kissed him
But only for a second
She could never hold back a smile
Her lips curved up at the corners
Her eyes glittered with thoughts
She said "I love you"
And looked at him the way she sometimes did
She tilted her head and looked
Her expression was solemn for once
She said "I'm dying"
And her face twisted into a jack-o-lantern grin
- Quicksand -- Quicksand -12 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
[reality check: 1:00 a.m.]
- bedroom, dimly lit
- girl in tears, phone in hand... staring, staring...
(fade to black in 3, 2, 1...)
i sit here
staring into space
remembering those days
used to be simple
you were always
who i imagined
all that\'s holding us
is their high expectations
and your idea
of a simple life...
(you can never
find that in me)
was it real in the first place?
can\'t help but wander
your intense stare
afraid you\'d hear
my silent screams
this god-forsaken bedroom
and my mind
goes through several scenarios
of what it\'s like
not to be
i\'m perfectly aware
of my loneliness
slowly sinking in
the harder i resist
the deeper i fall
and i hide behind myself
as i slowly lose sight
of what was once mine...
...3, 2, 1, and...
- End Scene -
Eek. - OneFreak. I get called freak a lot. That time I spilt Jell-O on my best friends girlfriend. That time I asked if I could sit on the swing beside one of my fourth grade classmates. That time I tried out for the football team. Everyone seems to have reached the same consensus; that kid is a freak.Eek. - One6 years ago in Transgressive More Like This
Sneak. No one ever calls me a sneak. No one ever notices when Im sneaking, because Im good at it. No one caught me that time I snuck out of school, because I was too scared to go to gym. No one saw me when I sneaked around the hallways of my old school, trying to build up the courage to say hello. No one notices me when Im standing right behind them, close enough to touch. No one knows that kid is a sneak.
The words are close enough I mean, they rhyme and everything but no one ever makes the connection. I sneak around all the time and I only act like a freak sometimes, but one everyone knows about and the other, nobody realizes.
Irony is nowhere near resemblin
No Train For YesterdayI spend two & a half smiles on strangers,No Train For Yesterday11 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
drink a bottle of casual words
& head down a silent street, accompanied
by muted endeavors of faceless clowns.
It's a tired, malnourished day, strained
over frail dusty bones of hours
& as I run my hand along a minute,
it feels like leather, worn from wear.
You still arise in idle thoughts:
the way you stopped to watch me at
an ambiguous train station up north.
You were the streetlight that blinked on
& off in futile attempt to murder wind
while snow raced horizontal lines
& hurried past large metal doors.
You seemed to revel in movement,
smoothed air with your skin
as I headed on. Gave shelter
to a misplaced thought & lost another
in muddy puddles behind my temples,
aching now, condensed for spare.
The smell of old liquor & masculinity
still lingers in my nostrils' memory.
You asked for clarity in all I said
out of spite & I couldn't find the words.
Shreds of sentence fragments tasted bitter
& I washed them down with another
BabyDoll.Mama loves her Baby DollBabyDoll.6 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
And Baby Doll loves candy
Baby Dolls got a button nose
And a mop of hair thats sandy
Ma ran off with the handyman
To find he aint so handy
And all this fits in the scheme of things
My, isnt life quite dandy?
We tend to fall and get back up
And repeat the process over
Theres no rhyme or reasoning
No luck; no four-leaf clover
All we get is all weve got
Just us against our fate
So hitch a ride, or be ready to run
But, darlin dont be late.
Ma screams at the handyman
While hes yellin at Baby
Ma threatens to leave again
And she just might, just maybe.
Baby Doll hugs a baby doll
And wishes she was elsewhere
But not all wishes do come true
And sometimes life just aint fair
Mama throws a lamp at him
And the pieces all go flying
The handyman yells at Baby Doll
For Gods sake, stop your crying!
Baby Doll takes a shudderin breath
and stutters out Im trying!
AngelicaAngelica (My Final Prayer)Angelica11 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Darling jaded Angelica, can you hear me call?
Can you hear me from heaven; can you hear at all?
Is the sky blue life up there treating you so kind?
Sometimes I wish to join you and leave this world behind.
Oh Angelica, you cried so much before you had to leave
Was dying really the only way to save your sanity?
Angelica you'd died of a heartbreak I'll never understand.
You were already dead inside, though I was there to hold your hand.
Oh my stained Angelica, with your tainted soul,
Have angels bathed you tenderly and filled your growing hole?
In heaven do emotional wounds show like cuts then bleed?
And is anyone up there giving you the bandages you need?
Have they wiped the dirt of heartbreak yet so far away?
Are you beautiful again my love? Can you stay that way?
Has heaven purified you so that you'll never hurt again?
Is it really a new beginning, or…is it just the end?
Angelica, do you miss me, up in the sky so free?
When it rains down on the earth, is tha
How Long Is ForeverHow Long Is Forever12 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
How long is forever?
How can it ever last?
How can we look so forward
Without looking at the past?
Does it bleed through day?
Does it weep at night?
Does it tear through emotion?
Does it really have much might?
I suppose it\'s real
Though I can never tell
They tell you they\'ll be there
And leave after the bell
Maybe it\'s the beauty
That\'s infinite in today
But their wisedom upholds all
And their exterior does decay
They say they will hold you
They say they\'ll never let go
You turn your back for a second
And they\'ve become someone you don\'t know
But how can there be forever?
If you just walk away?
Without even breathing a word
You just turn and leave me strayed
So until I find this \"forever\"
I will wander proudly alone
Never giving into this reality
Never having a proper home
Modern MythI lye chained to this flat rockModern Myth6 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
while the sun glares down upon me.
I glance around if my head turns,
but desert is all that I see.
You know what I long for most?
A cascading downpour of rain
to soothe my blistered skin
and rust away this chain.
But I know it will never be.
God's never forgiven me...
So I just stare at my chain
when my head won't turn at all.
Each link is crafted carefully
to hold me in its thrall.
But they show no sign of breaking
as years pass me by. Thus,
I am forced to watch my chains,
As a modern Prometheus.