.Last Night..Last Night.9 years ago in Scraps
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I held you close to me,
Felt your arms hold me tight.
You were there,
In my dreams,
Staring straight back at me.
I wish you could've held me closer,
Felt my breath upon your lips,
Known how much I needed you,
Wished I could've been beside you.
The cold bit into my skin,
Searing pain in my heart,
Knowing you were far away,
Unable to feel my embraces,
My whispered kisses.
I wished upon the first star I saw,
Wishing you'd come back to me,
Hold me close,
Tell me I'm beautiful,
Tell me you missed me.
I watched the ceiling,
Dreaming of you,
'Til I fell asleep.
I remembered I love you,
Everything you say and do,
How you'd hold me close,
How I'd feel your breath on my skin,
How you told me you loved me too.
I realized how far things are,
How close we want them to be,
How I miss you more each day,
Waiting for you,
Loving you more each and every night.
She Need Not Be So StrongShe keeps it all inside,She Need Not Be So Strong9 years ago in Scraps
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As though no one will understand.
And it is helpless,
It is hopeless,
It is not my place to force.
I can't help her or reach out -
I can't touch her bleeding heart
And I can't explain to her
The pain it causes me
To see her cry.
To know that she is suffering
And there's nothing I can do -
To watch her drift away,
And then smile at me -
As though nothing is wrong,
As though the sky isn't falling,
As though life is perfect -
And being strong means not speaking.
Being strong means letting go
And breaking down when there is need,
Being strong means shattering
And then rising from the ashes.
Being strong is not the amount of pain,
But rather how it shapes you -
And how do you hold this pain, my love?
How do you keep it inside, young heart?
How I can't bare to look at you,
My damaged, bleeding sister,
And know that I would listen
I would hold you -
But do you care?
Do you think that I don't notice?
Do you think that I can't feel it?
Do you think that you're alone,
Trinity hallTrinity hall9 years ago in Scraps
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The fifty miles between us did not seem as long as the time
it takes to get back, it is disguised
as a milk float, I think,
going seven miles an hour down the street
at nine AM, while people beep cranky horns
from behind, with a red frown
over worn, and filth spraying
from the mouth
like the backwards hoover
sat in the corridor.
When the phone across the hall rings
and nobody answers,
I wonder if that person on the other side
hangs up with a surge of loneliness.
are milk floats.
and being emptied more
at every stop, leaving a little part of us
But only on days like these
when friends watch DVDs in the dark
only one floor below and I sit
with milk eyes that melt
in blinding light, just like ice cream does
on hot days --
but aren't those days
meant to be happy?
There was no heating for three days,
but now my radiator clicks
constantly, like something inside
wants to get away
and I wonder why
milk floats cannot keep up
with the res