And to all my Skeleltons,who claim they know me,And to all my Skeleltons,5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and all the stories my eyes
can project in milliseconds
regardless whether they preferred
a shade than the
it still astounds me
how they possess such wisdom,
when i hardly know myself
Elisse is just a name
and 19, a double digit
but put the two together,
and consider me identified?
are we just fragmented data
drawn upon blind eyes?
Mom,Mom, if you could only know who I'm in love with,Mom,6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
No, not a jock,
No, not a bad boy,
No, Mom, not a boy at all.
Are you surprised?
Or are you angry?
That your precious daughter,
Your perfect, innocent angel,
And in love...
With a girl.
RealizeThe tears swell and overflowRealize5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the realization is too much.
I finally give in to the pain felt
with each pulse of truth coursing through me.
I love her.
And suddenly my words run dry.
Held tight for so long
wrestling with doubt as powerful as sin
and confused by the trickery I've played on myself
DifferentI am defined by many wordsDifferent5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
but only one can penetrate
so deep that i'm bleeding
from every perspective.
Devious from witty thoughts,
they don't make sense now
but they'll leave a nasty imprint
to those who dare live a lie
of only mundane possibilities.
Inspiring, to youthful rebellion,
to cast a kite to unexplored skies,
fully aware that any moment
those ties can break
and you would be considered a traitor
Fashionable, in a sense
that only you find pleasing to the eye
and although it makes your thumbs sore,
it's light outshines them all
and discreetly, you're more than beautiful
Fun to admit to silent possibilities
gifted with imagination,
where there lies no limits
and you're reunited with a time
when everything was pure love
Eccentric, with different mechanics
the wheels churn in sync
but in opposite directions
and while they see answers,
we see questions
Relentless, as a rebellion's advocate
to skip instead of march,
in circles instead of LINES
and with ideas instead of guns
...DenialSo I guess it's really over...Denial4 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
There is nothing else to do
Just pack up all these memories
And take them with you
I'll do my best to patch the holes
You left here in my heart
To pick up what's left of my pride
And make a brand new start
Take all the love that I've had
For you all these years
Take it all when you go, please,
Oh, and take all these tears
Take all the nights I lie awake
Take all the wondering why
Please take all my pain with you
I don't want a reason to cry
I'll turn the music up real loud
Cause I don't want to believe
Just be really quiet when you go
Cause I don't wanna hear you leave
Be careful to roll down the drive
Before you kick it into gear
So I won't have to know you're gone
So I won't freeze up with fear
Take all the shattered promises
The words whispered in the dark
Take every time you said you cared
So there will be no mark
I won't try to stop you
If you really gotta go
Just please don't tell my heart
Cause it don't wanna know
DEAL WITH ITI feel trapped in this body with skin too tight.DEAL WITH IT5 years ago in Philosophical More Like This
It feels wrong. I shouldn't look like this, like
these should be flat, nonexistant at that. And why am I missing that?
Something must have happened to me at an early age
for my genetic make up is all wrong.
You see, I'm a Boy. I have to be.
Yet, I'm called Girl. And I shouldn't be.
Forced into dresses and covered in make up.
Told to act like a proper young lady or no boys would ever want me when I grow up.
Never permitted to play sports or help dad with the car.
Just told to sit and look pretty, that's all I'm good for.
Now I'm grown up, now free to be me.
I haven't worn a dress in years, only t-shirts and baggy jeans.
Only chapstick for biting lips when fixing cars
and no boys look at me when I'm at a bar.
You see I'm transgendered, FtM to be exact.
Had surgery long ago, missing limbs now intact.
I now am man, as I rightfully should be.
Strength and power of man, mixed with womans grace and beauty.
This is real.
This is me.
Don't like i
Only DeathOnly Death11 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
She stands in the dark, her gun in hand,
ready to leave this ruined land.
The land that betrayed her in every way
that forced her into darkness, decay.
She loads the gun, one bullet is all,
one bullet to rest, one bullet to fall.
The people that left her, family, friends
would never have thought this is how it ends.
Her finger slides slowly, inch by inch,
towards the trigger that ends it with one simple pinch.
Good memories gone, nothing left but pain.
No point to living on, to suffering in vain.
She raises the gun swiftly towards her head.
She's said all along she'd be better off dead.
Her head starts to spin as the drugs take effect.
The gun drops to a place she can't quite recollect.
Red and blue lights are the last thing she sees,
before she closes her eyes and drops to her knees.
She curses the world for the pain she can feel.
As colors mix, things become surreal.
While EMS rushes to save her sweet soul,
she willingly dies, falls through the black hole.
As her last dying words, sh
Dreaming Of You.When I come back from my thoughts I feel more secureDreaming Of You.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
But then I sleep and the dreams of you occur;
The dreams I have of you are so vivid and clear
I feel true happiness inside and that there is nothing to fear;
A symphony of word and thought you bring
A life is changed in just an instant's time,
Dreams of us start to flow in them our love continues to grow,
To fill my hearts desire, to light my passion's fire;
Holding you tight feeling so right your love carries me to new heights,
Forever lost in your love as a gift from heaven above.
When I go to sleep at night I ask God to make my days bright,
I know he will do it - I know it will be true,
Because He knows I only want to be with you;
What a beautiful feeling I wish it is true!
But I am only dreaming - dreaming of you!
But I know it could happen I know dreams come true
That's why every night I'll be dreaming of you.
Come out, come outTo out with the truth,Come out, come out5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
But the truth will out with me.
To say what I hold inside,
Would lose hold of the friends I have.
Not many understand,
I only know one.
To be myself,
Could be the end of me.
To live life to the fullest,
Would be lonely.
Not many understand,
I only know one.
Who am I?
I am who I am.
I am me,
And nothing more.
So ask who I am,
And I will tell you.
You'll either hate me,
Or love me.
Gay Pride 2**> This is a continuation of my original Deviation, Gay PrideGay Pride 25 years ago in Editorial More Like This
**> GAY PRIDE, EVERYONE!!!! <3
**> For those who would like to come out but need more information, or would just like to have some tactics on how to go about coming out, this book is extremely helpful: GLBT: A survival guide for queer and questioning teens by Kelly Huegel.
**> GLBT-Friendly Psychologists and Therapists by State (Just a few):
Alabama--Dr. Sadie Sheafe, PhD., LCSW www.DrSadieSheafe.Com Arizona-- Patricia Parr, LPC Arkansas-- Angie Turner, LPC California-- (Los Angeles Area) Lisa Maurel, MFT http://www.therapy4oclesbians.com/ Allyn Miller, MFT (SF Area) Lisa Sheilds, PhDhttp://lisashieldsphd.com/ Maureen Johnston, MFThttp://www.maureenjohnston.com/ (Sacramento Area) Debo
Day of SilenceSilence...Day of Silence5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
it calls out to all,
rings longer than any bell,
and speaks louder than any word.
Pictures are worth a thousand words
but it's the silence that delivers them
our silence speaks, it delivers
what we can't say...
We have been silenced
for so, so long
because of things out of our control.
Who we love.
How we were born.
What we are.
Dreaming NightmaresDreaming Nightmares11 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Choking on my shapeless thoughts
Fading in my formless dreams
Lying in my doomed reflection
Finding nothing as it seems.
Drowning in the bloody battle
Falling to a faithless place
Running into open arms
Weeping for a fallen grace.
Dying for a taste of life
Watching angels die for love
Fighting those that hold me down
Gasping for the air above.
Failing those I loved the most
Hoping for a second chance
Vanishing into the darkness
Disappearing at a glance.
Ending things that fate began
Mourning those that left me
Crying in my restless sleep
Wanting things that can not be.
Waking in this mortal realm
Seeing past this hopeless lie
Dreaming precious memories
Wishing they would never die.
DepressionDepression is your sadness from within,Depression4 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Always wondering how long it has been,
From the time you were happy inside,
Until the time you wanted to run and hide,
Some days are filled with violence,
You want to cut yourself and scream in silence,
The days come when pills don't help the pain,
You wished sometimes you would die in vain,
The darkness consumes your corrupted heart,
You think downing a bottle of pills might be smart,
Grabbing at your core is the weakness that feeds,
To take your life and fulfill your needs,
But when you think it is all just fine,
You awake from the nightmare on a steady decline,
You spiral downward from side to side,
You have lost yourself and even your pride,
Then there you are again, entangled in twine,
Lost in the darkness, alone in time.
DifferentSomething is different.Different6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Last year you
Would confess everything
To me. You and I were
We met like the horizon
Connects the sky and
We still are friends,
Best in fact,
But it seems so
Fake now, like you just
Are joking around.
Have I become another
One of the people who sees
Only your optimistic
Smile? Faux- like the only
Type of fur you would
"I could be brown, I could be
Blue, I could be violet sky"
I would do anything to
Sew back together this
Hole in my jeans.
PalePale~Pale5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Paleness loves me,
Follows me like White Death;
Fills me with emptiness,
And with a blankness like hopeless breath.
Touches me with silvery fingers,
Whispers through my skin as blessed;
Caresses through my mind,
With such a welcomed rest.
White skin of the long-lost dead,
It shall never leave my skin,
Yet, it clings to me instead.
It will not ever die,
But reveals the scars I've bled.
The paleness follows me in deep shadow,
And ignores the sun that fled.
The PainHave you ever felt the pain,The Pain5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The pain of being trapped,
Trapped in your own body,
The body you were born with,
The body everybody assumes to be you?
Your souls screams,
Heart is torn,
Both fighting to flee,
Flee from the bonds they are held with.
But it's impossible to run from your very own eyes.
Then somebody else,
A friend, a brother, a stranger or mother,
Says one little word,
And that little word pierces your mind,
Your heart, your soul
With barbed arrows,
Leaving you to bleed and scream some more.
In your tormented mind,
The solution is more pain,
Of the physical kind,
So you pick up a knife or a razor,
A shard or claws,
Just to paint jagged lines accross your skin.
You try to kill the body and free the mind,
Free the soul and the heart,
But the bonds are too tight,
All you can do is paint more lines,
Have you ever felt the pain?
Because until you have felt it,
The torture I go through,
Every minute in this forsaken life,
Don't tell me to ignore it.
burnin' loveI found no peaceburnin' love5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
In the lies that I've told,
I'm only hurt by the blows that get withheld
The sharper I get cut
The harder I get held
More that I believe
That you will come to me
Without you I've been burnin' love
You're the one that I've been calling for
Without you I've been burnin' love
You're the one that I've been calling for
it hurts like
the wind choking
back your throat,
like the fingerprints
on your jaw
where he held
like a good,
but we are more
or unrequited lust.
we are enough
to waste the years
the earth has left
and to earn
these dual diaries
on a bed stand,
and that is love.
when I smoke too much, my heart hurts like
waiting for the wind to change directions, like the
words I forgot to say to you, like a love
letter I never threw away and sometimes pretend
it's from you.
ahla_days go_استحكم فيَّ القدر وباعدني عن دنيايَahla_days go_5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
فسارت بي الدُّنيا الى حكاية
حكاية عمرٍ مضى في دوّامة الرّجا
إلى عمرٍ سافر إلى التُّقى
لا تمشي وحدك حافية القدمين
على أرضٍ تملؤها أور
ChangeIn the blink of an eye it all falls apart,Change8 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
It clouds your mind and shatters your heart,
It touches your soul and brings tears to your eyes.
It rips at your seams and severes your ties.
With a beat from the clock, the darkened skies clear,
It smiles down at you and ebbs all your fear.
It reaches out it's hands and helps you to stand,
And as it surrounds you, your heart starts to mend.
With every turn of the wind, and every setting of sun,
When the old becomes old and the new has begun,
When the right becomes wrong and the norm becomes strange,
Ready your guard, you're in for a change.
ChangeChange:Change6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A hard word for people to get around.
But i guess its needed.
Change is good i guess.
To keep you guessing.
But what if change came at a horrible time how would you react?
Would you be pissed, happy or do you believe in Karma.
I believe change is for the better.
Its all for good.
But whatever happens just look to the future.
Look at the outcome
see that their are ups and downs.
Lows and Highs.
and good times.
But If you look back.
You will see that all the good times.
Start with change.
and that things start to go downhill.
When you stay in the same place for too long.
So embrace change.
Let change change you.
ahla_Don't Say_سأسافر وأعودahla_Don't Say_4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
من بداية عبور
إلى واقع مجهول
أموت و أذوب
في تراب كوكب مذهول
من روح انتقلت إلى مجهول معلوم أنه آتٍ
لا أموت لا أعود
depressionDepression through my eyesdepression10 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I'm running through the streets again
the streets I know so well
there's a thick and cloudy ceiling
keeping me trapped in eternal hell
I cant seem to break it
I just keep running along
its playing on repeat again
what is that dreadful song?
My body finds this torture
living in pain and hate
knowing I cant escape it
for me its grown too late
I see your happy up there
surrounded by people and love
I often think while I'm running
of ways to escape above
there is no way to smash it
its made of extra strong stuff
stuck hear running alone
I really have had enough
but still I keep on running
it really seems unfair
I keep looking to see somebody
but you are never there
I am so sad an angry
that I took the stairs below
but know I'm stuck here forever
and no one wants to know.