...Because I was bored.I'm tired
And I can't think of what to write!
I take a swig of Mtn Dew
And try to think.
My stupid siblings are making a racket.
I call from my computer
"Maw-aw-awwm!" they whine.
To face my wretched enemy-
My blank screen
And my even blanker mind.
I can hear the cosmos laughing.
Chides me and tells me to turn down
I turn up Adagio instead
And get an eyeroll.
Back to it!
To thinking what to write!
I cannot think at all!
The laughing gets louder.
Quickly I type
And post in on DeviantArt,
And I did it all...
...Because I was bored.
Ode to CAKEI have feasted on all sorts of dates,Ode to CAKE4 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
eaten food at alarming rates,
but no taste can compare to the taste fit to share:
a slice of luscious, chocolate iced CAKE.
You give me cookies, I'll shove them back into your face,
give me candy, I'll toss it away with much haste.
So don't let that food go to waste:
just give a large plate of CAKE!
CAKE is so devine,
it's fit to be mine.
It is oh, so fine.
Now, please, let me dine!
Now, don't turn our friendship to hate:
just give me that delicious, iced CAKE!
PunishmentThe police were out in force, sirens flashing everywherePunishment8 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I didn't understand, I couldn't see how it was fair
I suppose it was my punishment for being such a fool
And I still regret the day that I peed in the swimming pool.
Very soon the whole world knew, I was on the evening news
Thousands came to talk to me, the journalists formed queues
I was being sent to jail, because I broke the golden rule
That at no cost must you ever pee in someone's swimming pool.
They collected water samples, fingerprints and DNA
And told me I was guilty; there was nothing I could say
I supposed that prison couldn't be a whole lot worse than school
But I wished beyond all words that I had not peed in the pool.
I was locked indoors all morning, I broke rocks all afternoon
It was torturing my mind, I really hoped I'd get out soon
We ran on treadmills every day, they fed us all on gruel
I suppose it was fair punishment for peeing in the pool.
They gave me a life sentence, I was never coming out
I slumped against
1800 points Give Away!"all you have to do is Favorite this journal to enter the give away."1800 points Give Away!2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
"Why I'm giving away so much points."
Only few month left till I going to college.
But right now my family is at financial crisis.
They only have barely enough to pay for their own
food.They is very serious, I would not take something
like this to joke about.
They will pay $0 dollar for my collage tuition because of
their financial situation.
The only way is scholarships.
Today, I have entered a scholarship
that would change the way I live every
single day.Because this scholarship
will pay all my tuition.
How it work.
If you favorite this journal you will get to win 10 points out of 1800.(10 person)
If you vote for me in the scholarship contest.
(Most be 18 & older to vote and have a Facebook.)
you will get a chance to win one of those price.
Grand price: 1124 points
second price: 500 points
Third price: 10 person will each win 10 points
total of 100 points
A Red vs. Blue ChristmasTwas a cold, winters night, and down at blue base,A Red vs. Blue Christmas8 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Life slowly went by at a monotonous pace;
Artillery was left without guard, and who cared?
Attack the blue base? Red Team wouldnt dare!
Down in the bunker Caboose and Church sat,
Wishing for something that they could shoot at.
While Tex in her grey and Sis in her yellow.
Hoped command would send out a more interesting fellow.
Then, to their surprise who should come running in?
Twas Tucker with an unhelpful look of chagrin.
Theyre just over the hill! He yelled in great haste.
To your posts! shouted Church, They will not take our base!
From the roof they could see the Reds getting quite close,
In their beat up Warthog and a couple of Ghosts.
From below, in the garage came an engine-like sound,
As Sheila drove out, and her gun swung around.
So, now what? said Caboose all these buttons are swell.
Oops, wrong one. And he cringed
Massacre of the InnocenceGeorgie Porgie threw an orgyMassacre of the Innocence7 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
just outside L.A.,
where Jack Be Nimble grabbed his thimble,
outing him as gay...
Little Jack Horner bought Time Warner
before the bubble burst,
though Jumping Jack Flash saw the crash
and liquidated first...
Jack said Jill was taking the Pill
to ward off impregnation;
the Three Blind Mice have lobbied twice
for victim's compensation...
Little Miss Muffet had her tuffet
and Little Bo Peep married a creep;
lamb chops gave him gout...
Jack Sprat's wife went under the knife
for Lap-Band surgery,
then Third Little Pig struck it big
on reality TV...
Old King Cole's gone on the dole,
exposed as a pretender;
while Wee Wil
Poison Apple Book PreviewPoison Apple Book Preview9 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Liam T. Dredd and Diaphanous Haze
Were married in not unusual ways.
They booked a cathedral, they made their vows,
Bought as much insurance as the state allows.
He called her Daffi, She called him Lee,
He wrote out their wills, she made them some tea.
"I'll sign the papers if you will," she said.
"A million if either of us drops dead."
"I have a confession, my dear," said he.
"Counting the others, you're Wife Number Three.
"My dear exes were strangled, drowned and shot,
They left me quite lonely, but left me a lot."
"How sad!" said Daffi with a secret smile,
"But at least your marriages were worthwhile.
"Now, my late husbands, of which there were four,
Never gave me a penny. That's why they're no more."
"It seems I'll be careful from now on," Lee sighed,
"For I've finally found my match in a bride.
"And speaking of matches, look under your chair,
I've hidden a clever bomb under there."
"Oh, I found it," said Daffi, "I'm afraid it's destroyed
"That charming young housemaid w
FrogsHop hop hop,Frogs11 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Senses so keen.
With that tongue that I so love
Powerful legs to lift you above
My hands whilst I try to mend
My little froggy friend.
You sit by my pond,
Singing your froggy song,
That little croak, so distinct,
I wonder, could you live in my sink?
I'd like to keep you as a pet,
I'd always take you to the vet,
You'd be my favourite little froggy,
Much better than my dumb old doggy.
Unlike the French, I'm not so keen,
Of eating little leggies green,
I much prefer the alive you,
Rather than see you in a stew.
My little froggy friend,
You drive me around the bend,
You hop all over my garden path,
I'd even put you in my bath.
But I don't think you'd like the suds,
For froggies, they aren't so good,
You prefer the icky weed
Of my pond, where the cat has peed…
With your little toes, and wriggly eyes,
Eating bugs, and catching flies,
With your wiggly legs, and slimy skin,
I take you to the pond, and drop you in.
All froggies should be free,
Can You Guess Who I Am?I have a little problemCan You Guess Who I Am?2 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
My head is made of wood
My brain is non existent,
I’d change it if I could.
My body’s made of wood too,
It’s hard to move around,
But if I do, I kinda make
a nasty clomping sound.
I don’t seem to have hearing.
Or have eyes that can see,
And yet I do not wish,
To be anyone but me.
Yes, really I am quite content,
Though I know I am a freak,
Immobile and non-sensing,
Without the means to speak.
But now and then a higher hand,
Waves above my head,
And magically I come to life,
No longer am I dead.
Who am I you may well ask.
Does anybody know?
I really cannot lie to you,
For my nose will surely grow.
Liebe macht blindEdward heiß ich, bin Vampir,Liebe macht blind3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Fledermaus und wildes Tier.
Dennoch schenkte sie mir Liebe,
Traute mir, trotz meiner Triebe.
Ohne Hirn und ohne Sinn
Gab sie sich mir gänzlich hin.
Tja, so hab‘ ich sie gebissen,
Venen blutig aufgerissen.
Jämmerlich ist sie verreckt,
Immerhin, sie hat geschmeckt.
Season HaikusSPRINGSeason Haikus5 years ago in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
Leaves come back to trees
all the pools open again
finally school's out
I'm not a big fan:
It's too hot. But at least school
isn't back 'till fall
School comes back(not so good)
But, mercifully, it starts
to cool down a bit.
This one's my favorite
It's really cold(which I like)
lot's of holidays
Roses are blue...Roses are blue,Roses are blue...4 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
violets are red.
If you don't like this poem,
I'll make you real dead.
Der ChemikerDie Stimmung im Labor war mies,Der Chemiker4 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
ein paar Kollegen wirklich fies.
Grad' Berthold konnt' ein Arschloch sein,
War intrigant und hundsgemein.
Da trank er Kaffee mit Arsen,
so war's recht schnell um ihn gescheh'n.
Und meinen Chef, hart wie Granit,
erlegte ich mit Cyanid.
Ein wenig leiden musst' er noch,
war doch die Dosis nicht sehr hoch.
Am Ende ist er doch gestorben.
Ich hab' mich um den Job beworben.
Das Schleimen dann, das konnt' nicht schaden,
nun leite ich den ganzen Laden.
Von dem Erfolg höchst inspiriert
hab' ich's dann auch privat probiert.
Zuerst musst' Onkel Heinrich sterben,
so konnt' ich seine Villa erben.
Und Tanja, die mein Herz gebrochen,
hat kurz darauf Phosgen gerochen.
Vom neuen Freund zum Arzt geschickt,
war's schon zu spät – sie ist erstickt.
Tja, und der Freund, was soll man sagen,
er hat Strychnin halt nicht vertragen.
Nun Frauen – junge, hübsche, forsche –
Sie steh'n auf mich und meinen Porsche.
Erfolg macht mich zum tollen Hecht.