SaM - Money TroublesSam inhaled deeply. "You smell that, Max?"SaM - Money Troubles5 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Max sniffed a few times as well. "I love the smell of rampant consumerism in the morning!"
Rampant consumerism was not the phrase that Sam would have associated with the 41st annual Hippie Commune and Cook Out festival, but there'd be time to debate that later. "Takes me back to... ugh!" Sam stumbled backwards. Whatever the smell reminded him of, it wasn't anything pleasant.
"Oh, that," said Max dismissively. "That's just the smell of impending and inevitable doom, Sam. It's been following us since we were kids!"
Sam doubted Max's claim very much. He knew what doom smelled like, and that wasn't it. "Whatever it is, it's making my tail hurt," he replied. It was true, somehow. He could feel an ache there like he hadn't felt in decades.
Max looked confused. "Didn't you have your tail removed when you were a kid because, uh..."
Sam jumped. That was it! Now he remembered. "Oh..." he said thoughtfully. He'd repressed that memory, apparently. And
Sam and Max: Hit the Wall The crunching sound came seconds before the throbbing and hurt twang of the strings as the banjo's trajectory path was interrupted by a wall. Despite the strident noises that had occurred from this action, they still sounded a good deal better than the ones that he'd been making with the instrument moments before.Sam and Max: Hit the Wall4 years ago in Humor More Like This
Hokey warbling was never usually an issue with Sam. Well, apart from the 'issue' that Max sometimes had with it which usually yielded a fairly close result to the now broken banjo on the floor but with more gnawing than throwing. But rambling little tunes sprung forth from his rather fuzzy noggin with ease, capturing the moments of that day's tomfoolery and adventure or just whatever happened to be meandering through his head at that point.
Usually, that was. He had nothing at the moment, however. Attempting to coerce the music out like a spry old lady from her walker for jaywalking hadn't produced anythi
Wile's Lament v2Wile's Lament v29 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
I knew she was like this.
I knew she was only a fangirl with over eighty obsessions, I being only one.
I knew she wouldn't stick to my side forever.
So why do I feel like this?
Why, when she hugged Goofy and Demyx, did I feel so angry?
Why, when the others tried to rescue her from Oogie, did I stop them?
Why, when she hugged me, did I want her to never let go?
"You could make a good poet or writer or something."
I turned, startled, shoving my writing under an open textbook. "Jessica!"
She smiled mischieviously. "Wile," she replied, nodding.
"Wh-what are you doing here?" I demanded.
"What does it matter?" she responded, shrugging. She poofed out a chair next to mine and sat down.
"I'd appreciate it if you stay out of my room," I growled, pointing to the door.
"Suit yourself - I only wanted to help." Jessica pouted, standing up and walking to the door. I sighed.
She turned, already at the doorway. "Hmm?"
"Did-did you read this?" I asked, extracting the pape
Stupid Note 101-110(For those of you who are just joining us, PLEASE READ THE FIRST 100 STUPID NOTES before you read these. Everything will make more sense. And look! We even provided you links. How nice. )Stupid Note 101-1108 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Last week I took a trip to my local office supply store to buy school supplies for the upcoming year. Which was rather pointless, because all the colleges I applied to sent letters back saying they'd rather kill themselves than accept me, but it was good to get out of the house.
Unfortunately, I was unable to purchase any school supplies, because I got kicked out of the store for molesting an office chair, raping 12 1/2 spiral-bound notebooks, exposing my mangled family jewels (see link in description to understand how they became mangled), and ruining all of their merchandise with a very terrible explosive diarrhea incident.
SaM - The School DanceSam turned on his computer.SaM - The School Dance5 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Max glanced at it, and, before Sam could do anything else, said "Boring!"
"You haven't even seen it yet," said Sam, glaring at him.
Max raised a finger. "You should be outside playing in the fresh air, not staring at a computer all day," he recited. "Tut tut."
Sam glanced out the window of his room, where the late afternoon sun had turned the smog a pretty yellow colour, then looked back at his computer. "I just wanna show you a program I wrote." He glanced around to make sure that the book he'd copied the program out of was still under his bed where he'd kicked it.
Tonight was going to be interesting. The school was holding a dance, and Sam had been given money to spend. But before then, he really wanted Max to see his computer program. He ran it, and the computer began shaking and emitting unearthly howls.
"Awesome!" said Max. The computer started displaying a long list of letters, numbers and symbols. "Your computer is possessed! Just like my brother Rich
SaM - Operation: KRAMPUT Pt.1Step 1: Formulate!SaM - Operation: KRAMPUT Pt.14 years ago in Humor More Like This
Sam was only a tyke, but he had sloughed through enough birthdays and Christmases to learn this much: lousy gifts remained lousy in perpetuity.
Christmas morn of this year inspired an addendum: Flora Pets were among the lousiest of lousy gifts. Not least of all because Sam couldn't find anyone who knew what they were.
Except Santa. If the tag stuck to his present could be trusted, that is. But Sam knew it wasn't worth asking. Every one of his North Pole-bound letters coming back "Return to Sender" had made that much clear to his soft, impressionable self over the years. He might have blamed the scribbles Max kept slipping into the margins if this hadn't been happening before he met Max. What a square, that fat old elf. Or at least his army of pointy-shoed secretaries.
Sam tried asking his parents again later, mostly because they were there, it was convenient, and technically he wasn't allowed to call Max. His mother made a comment about the
Stupid Note 9-20#9:Stupid Note 9-208 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Last week, L wet his bed, so he came and layed in mine. I had a hard time falling asleep with him there, but I finally managed. I woke up about an hour later, and he was facing me, fast asleep. I giggled like a girl, and fell back asleep. I woke up again later on, and he was staring RIGHT AT ME. I shrieked, and beat him with the nearest nut cracker. Then I pooted.
Last week, I bribed Watari with a pound of sausage links to tell me if L's real name really did start with L. He said it did, so I gave him his saus
Stupid Note 21-30#21Stupid Note 21-308 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Today I looked through some olf photo albums. Most of them were of our family on vacation and Christmas and stuff. They enraged me, so I ripped each picture out violently, tore them up, and shat on the scraps. I did this to every picture in all 76 photo albums. Then I came across an album that was in the back of the book case where no one could see it. I took it out and looked through it, only to find dozens and dozens of porno snapshots of my parents.
I haven't slept, eaten, or left my room since. 0.0
Sam and Max: Lover's Lane Sirens cried out faintly like the last haunting note of a piano melody as time slunk away into the crevices and folds of the dozing city. Not completely asleep of course, New York was too bloated and flashy a town for that. Too many restless men itching for action and dames jonesing for something to distract and entertain them. Shadows were allowed to consume the unwanted alleys and corners, leeching onto any nook unguarded by light greedily, but never granted hold of the entire city. Even in the most crime-tainted, grubby parts there was usually at least a flickering, corroded bulb weakly sacrificing its last bit of life for a small scrap of street. Some never slept at all, their long, gaunt faces with oily pits sinking back into their eye-sockets peering out like corpses from looming stoops.Sam and Max: Lover's Lane4 years ago in Humor More Like This
It wasn't a pretty sight, much less a safe one. Even the dimmest jerk on the street knew he better drop to his knees an
Wile's Lament part 2 v3Wile's Lament part 2 v39 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"Come on, come on," Jessica called, halfway up the road already. I ran to catch up with her and finally reached the corner.
"You're slow – and considering how fast I run, that's sayin' something," she commented, smirking. I glared at her.
"Oh, shush. Why are we back at your house?" I asked, looking up at the tall, plain house. It always seemed different – and by that, I mean it changed. It never looked the same way twice.
"I invited Racheal here," she said, winking at me. I gulped.
"Wh-why? Not that I care," I added hastily.
"Well, since you totally chickened out on me, I decided that if you're not going to get her, I'll get her for you." Jessica folded her arms and grinned. I growled in frustration.
"Look, I said I'd tell her when I'm ready," I said irritably, pulling her black Jack Skellington cap down, covering her eyes.
"And my definition of 'ready' is when you've wussed out four times after talking with me," she retorted, lifting th
Stupid Note 41-50(OMG. Just to clarify, Michi-chan writes the ones that start out "Dear Spirit". And also, her name is pronounced 'mishee', not 'meechee'. KTHXBAI.)Stupid Note 41-508 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
One time I discovered that I was broke because I had spent all my money repaying Watari for his damaged belongings. So I decided to sell my body on the streets. I was standing around in a miniskirt and thigh-high boots when the Fruit Group Leader drove up and offered me $500. I took the money and ran.
Have you seen Light anywhere? OR my PEACH BASKET?
SaM - Glasses"Isn't it great to have Sybil as our PR manager?" said Sam.SaM - Glasses6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
"Finally!" said Max. "One of her careers is useful!"
Sam glared at him. "That's not nice, Max. Besides, Sybil's careers have frequently been vital to resolving whatever peril the world has found itself in this week."
"I meant to my ego," said Max.
"Okay, guys," said Sybil, who I guess had just been sitting there the whole time without saying anything. "I ran a focus group, and according to your female fans, Sam should wear glasses."
"We have female fans?" said Sam.
At the same time, Max said "You have a focus group?"
Sybil felt a little uncomfortable. "Actually, it was an Internet forum thread." But she was pretty sure they functioned the same as focus groups. "And of course you have female fans, Sam!"
Sam just stared at her. "Why?" he managed.
"Come for the explosions, stay for the utter implausibility," suggested Max.
Sam shook his head. "Naw, that can't be right. We barely ever blow things up these days." He looked b
Dog Pile, ProloguePrologueDog Pile, Prologue10 years ago in Humor More Like This
Jeff was a happy man, you could tell as he was twiddling the end of his moustache, and that was always good for the patrons of his bar "The Happy Cossack". When Jeff was happy, business was good, and when business was good, Jeff didn't mind giving out the odd free drink to his customers. This made the already relaxed atmosphere of the place seem like a an alcohol induced coma.
In many respects the always relaxed atmosphere was surprising considering his customers, almost all of which were supervillains. Yes, Jeff was the proprietor of the only "villain" bar in the city and most likely the world. And the reason it was so relaxed was because this was the one place villains could come and forget about their criminal records. Nobody here cared that you were an evil magician capable of pulling a giant mutated rabbit out of your hat, or if you were capable of setting fire to things with your mind, or even if you were a mutated half-man half-Iguana creature, so long as you pa
Stupid Note 31-40#31Stupid Note 31-408 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Last summer, I tried my talents in gardening. I ripped up some of my mother's favorite plants to clear a space in the backyard, and planted various things in the ground to see what they'd grow into. Things like spoons, the TV remote, Ryuk, my computer, and some toxic waste. A week later, I decided to water them. None were promising, though, except the toxic waste. Because soon after I watered it, it grew into a giant, glowing bean stalk of sorts. It was amazing.
TO BE CONTINUEDDDD...
Did you know that the human bladder can hold up to 600mL of urine
To My Dearest Friend- WillTo My Dearest Friend; WillTo My Dearest Friend- Will10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Please stay here,
always where I can find you.
We walk the same pathway in life,
Above us the skies aren't painted blue.
They are dark and grey,
We never know what to expect in life.
But somehow, everything seems to be draining.
The rain will go away,
and the sun will come out.
Maybe not today,
But smile through it and don't show any doubt.
You are one of my best friends,
but maybe you never knew.
Exactly how much
I care about you.
When you're hurt,
I want to help you heal.
When you're down,
I want to make my hugs real.
You may not know,
but you're special to me.
You hold a piece of my heart,
even if some don't agree.
I thank you for being there,
and I hope you always are,
but if our paths change and you walk away,
I can't follow because you are too far.
So from the depths of my heart,
I hope you're happy in the path you choose.
That is all that matters to me,
But you are something I don't want to lose.
I Died For YouI Died For You10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Wait a minute please!
Dont leave me standing here again.
I relive this every night.
Help me change the out come this time.
Just this once.
Cant you see?
Im the best you ever had!
Stay with me.
Dont leave me standing in the pouring rain.
Help me change our fate!
Have a seat and think it through.
Over and over
It plays in my head.
I followed you outside.
I remember the rain,
The warm smell of the rain.
I remember how you love the rain,
But tonight its your enemy.
I hate knowing how this will end.
Why did you leave me?
I begged you to stay but you didnt!
You promised you would come back.
But you lied!
I heard the squealling tires,
The shattering of the glass.
I saw the steal frame cave in on top of you.
I heard you scream out to me,
But I couldnt move.
You never saw me standing there,
Just like you didnt see the truck.
You were dead by the time they found you.
They kept asking who you were,
Where were you going.
Things I never knew.
I went to your wake.
random'd - kidnap'drandom'd - kidnap'd9 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Once upon a time (some time; don't ask me when it is), there were two fangirls.
One was named Racheal. She loved lots and lots of characters. She was awesome and stuff.
The other was named Jessica. She loved just Danger Duck. She wasn't as awesome as Racheal, but she had an awesome jacket with Jack Skellington and Sally on the back.
Racheal and Jessica were a formidable duo put together. I doubt that I know what formidable means.
One day, Racheal and Jessica got the idea of kidnapping Wile E. Coyote.
So they kidnapped Wile E. Coyote.
He wasn't pleased.
But Racheal was!
Jessica was just trying to write fanfiction and role-plays, but she failed, so she helped tie Wile up.
And then the fangirls held him for ransom!
They demanded the copyrights for Loonatics Unleashed from WB, or they would keep Wile forever.
So WB had no choice but to give the copyrights for Loonatics Unleashed to Racheal and Jessica.
Two days after handing over the copyrights, the heads of WB got a package. Inside
A Fake SweatIt's up on the bridgeA Fake Sweat10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And it's locked in a cage
And it's trapped underwater
And it's oh God
There's a figure
It's OH GOD
It's coming towards us!
Sometimes I pretend to be afraid
So I can get their attention
Or I can show them I'm human
I guess mosttimes
I pretend to be afraid so I can
Show them I'm still a girl
Only girls are afraid of the dark
And only girls are afraid to be up high
Only girls would pretend to be afraid
Just to show they're still
Wile's Lament v3I remember that one night.Wile's Lament v39 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
It was raining. I had my cloak on, my hood was drawn, and my trunk was packed. My mind was set, and so were my words.
Or so I thought.
Then she came.
A knock at the door, a swift movement, and a blur of color. My memory becomes fuzzy at the mere remembrance of her coming in through the door. I didn't know where the others were, but it didn't matter. Not to me.
I remember a cold, shaking body holding me. I remember empty, echoing silences. I remember not saying a word.
I thought that I could take the pressure. I thought the whole thing out. I thought, 'I'll just tell her and go'. My mind was set, and so were my words.
Or so I thought.
"Don't you love me? Don't I mean anything to you anymore?" she asked in a barely audible whisper. I looked away, not wanting to see the hurt, the fear of betrayal in her eyes.
"Of course I do," I said, but there was no emotion in my words. Rehearsed time and time again, I could say those words freely as if I were in a play.
DumbassWhat do you do when the love of your life is holding someone else?Dumbass10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Do you sit back and wait,
Or do you try to move on?
How do you get rid of the rage hes caused you?
The burning sensation is fueled by the tears
That fall from your deep brown eyes.
Baby why cant you see
That he just doesnt love you.
He says "I'm sorry." then he sleeps around.
Girl you just dont get it.
Open your eyes.
Cant you see??
Never again will you hold him.
You cant kiss him or carress him.
So just stop.
Stop loving him.
Little girl you are just a fool.
You are an AngelYou are an Angel…up on high…You are an Angel10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I see you soaring…. On through the sky
No body's waiting…. You can go
Open up your heart to me… I want to know
You are an Angel…up on high
I see you soaring… On through the sky
Is this a dream… or is this real
Open up my eyes for me… I want to feel
You are an Angel… up on high…
I see you soaring… On through the sky
Now Heavens gift… I give to you
My only wish is that…. Our love is true
However… You're an Angel… up on high
I see you falling…. Out of the sky…
It hurts to see you…. In so much pain
But I can't do anything…
No I CAN'T do anything
But if I could do anything…
Oh YES do anything…
That would be… to love you
Like you love me……
All the same…….