-truth-will you meet me in the spaces-truth-7 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
between our fingers
indivisible, but one
(and all the smaller pieces
that don't matter)
a hollow note
twenty minutes to dawn
(i know this because we've been here before)
in this moment, and this thing of arms and arms entwined, called embrace
this moment on soft notsosoft ground sheets
it's the same
and in this moment
this moment is again
and your voices
singing as the past
ceilings and walls
that do not house me
anymore, i hear you
you are farther away
when i am with you
than when we are
so far apart
i do not have a traditional clock
that could tick away the night
in even tones
to focus on
when i'm trying my hardest not to be awake
i only have digitalisations left
batteries unincludedyou are an hourbatteries unincluded8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
sixty minutes of sixty tickings
in this hour is every word
youve ever said
i have an old wrist watch my father gave me
i say old, because five years is a long time when it is a quart of your life.
i use it to count you.
staring at the straight lines and reflecting the tubed light into a dancing circle on the wall
a spotlight for an ant
i imagine a woven straw hat and cane
there was always dancing wasnt there?
there was, but it was never us that were dancing. its just a configuration.
you know, of talk.
something we forgot all about.
perhaps it wasnt forgetfulness but forced ignorance.
you know, being stubborn, like stains you can never get out in the morning.
reminder to selfwhen i grow up i'm going to get bags andreminder to self7 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
bags of seeds and scatter them in the
rain all around my neighbourhood,
chuck them into empty lots.
i'm going to get a mirror
and write you are
beautiful on the top of
it and put it on a wall
of a building on a busy street and
when i grow up i'm going
to write love letters to
strangers and big descriptions of
what i did today
and post them to street addresses i'll
make up and put toys and random
objects in people's letter boxes, like
a corkscrew and a live frog
and i'm going to get a white board
with a pen and put it in an alley way
and put a sticker saying my
thought of the day on
the bottom of it then
me and my friend, we'll
stand on the opposites of the
street and pretend we're pulling
on a big rope and hope the car
crashes aren't too loud
and i'll draw a map of everywhere i've
seen wild fennel growing, and mint and
mulberries and take you there. i'll make
you a tea that stains your teeth with
the water we got for free from the
you in your mouthi am curious about youyou in your mouth6 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
of course, i'd like
to know how many sugars
if any, i think i'd like
to know how well
done. but i'm not sure
of course, if i should be
curious (or otherwise)
if it is indecent
of me to speculate
ponder how much milk
wonder what textures
maybe i should wait
for the situation
to present itself
rather than spend
these days thinking
just likehe said,just like8 years ago in Typographical More Like This
you taste kind of nice
ill give you a try.
its been too long
i know ive forgotten.
its just like riding a bike
i always used to crash
whichever waydon't you forget that yesterday used to be a tomorrow.whichever way7 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
it isnt really an island, butthis skin i'm init isnt really an island, but7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
it isn't me so much
as my toes
are my feet
my fingers are my hands
my eyes my face;
and it isn't me
so much, when i smile
or cry, or fall apart
down splitting sides
it isn't me so much
these lips (that speak
for me) and i rarely invade
the privacy of my heart
but then i get lost, in
all the things that are
supposed to be (me, but
aren't), in who they are
and why (no matter
how hoarse i make her throat
with screaming after her)
she doesn't come when i call
I have Is in the back of my hedonism.
When I finish there will be a river
Translucent and cascading
I know you are a busy man, but just try to think of it from my point of view."
What, in a g-string and bra?
When I begin there will be no end
I Love -Hate-I Love -Hate-7 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
The way you scuff your feet. The way you pick the roses past their bloom, so you can jingle shake their petals as you walk, without a bride. The way you haven't brushed your hair since you were ten. The way you're comfortable with taking turns in dialogue. Your pauses of breath. Your silver step. The way you croak good morning in the lazy afternoons. The way you only like your yolks runny. Your meat soft. Your bread hard. The way you fill the cup with too much hot water. The way you let things steam until we're blind, with something not unlike tears. Your apologetic 'no's. The freedom in your 'hello's. Those jeans you never wore. The picture in my head of your fingers, your thumbs, the backs of your knees. The smile you wore as a badge whenever I was leaving. The way your face becomes the same blur as I swing you into dizziness. Your look of disdain when you've realized I've written the day away.
Love is a lot like hate.
Of what a kiss should be.Today, today I felt as if I would break. In a gentle way. With the pain of some kind of realisation. Or theory. Or delusion, fitting to such strange situations. Perhaps not strange at all—same? The acidic grind of the same wheels turning the same cogs the same outcome, the same clock striking time to sleep.Of what a kiss should be.7 years ago in Post-Teen (Mature) More Like This
I don't think it's up to thinking about what I should have dones, how I could've changed things. What you could of… it's only blame. And regardless of the supposed weight lifted off of one, it never takes away the negation of the entire experience.
Why do we say we feel hollow when we can still feel? Sometimes it's only an overload of emotion. Not a lack there of. I think it's feeling paper thin. Part of, but apart, like tissue wrapping paper, translucent; like cellophane and just as gaudy. Made to be thrown away.
I think it was craft. I think it was a dress being crocheted, filling up with time, sleeves, neckline, bust, waist, hem… and then the unraveling, until all it was, was eno
when you wish you had-n't-stringing your eyes with garlands of stars iwhen you wish you had-n't-6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
wish to impeach you, maybe impregnate you
with a will to breathe
but what are you but an incoming breath
to me? an unapologetic zephyr gracing
my inner vineyards
ruffling the leaves with whispers
(i understand it
isn't so collapsible, and
i'm forgetting i forget
but when the winds turn
you're a harlot, ruining this year's
yield of self
(importance and confidence)
and i'm understandably drinking
the vinegar left
trying to breathe in the lights
i gift you with - always
and i have only the stars
the stars to blame.
If you keep your eyes closedI start, but I begin to faulterIf you keep your eyes closed7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
catching myself on cliffs of wind chapped lips
gnawing uncertainty with white spears
(oh native tongue)
what's spinning you?
The bastard child that thinks I'm a yo-yo.
I begin again, only to fall into
the same too big for you shoes, same glazed (aspartame laced) over smile,
and you. you are... a loss of anything to say
say cheeseHow can you manufacture emotion?say cheese8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Such a bold statement. Look capital letter. Punctuation.
Must be true.
[i smile everyday for you, it kills me, every day, just a little bit more of me, falls to the floor, and i step on it]
like them: awakedon't telllike them: awake7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
me what it
to know sorrow
the crisp way the morning is
like apples, how i don't eat
them anymore, how i'm not
and don't need
coffee, no, thank
than rainbows, more
colourful than butterflies
on your dress
or trapped, gassed on
When no one is around youLook, I'm going to start saying your name like a swear word, okay? I'm going to muster all my little kiddedness and scream it like I can offend someone, see.When no one is around you8 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
I'm just going to say it at inopportune moments, and clasp both of my hands over my mouth when I say it in front of the wrong people.
I'm not going to say it like a magic word anymore, I'm not going to say it like it invokes enough happiness in a papercup that I can swallow down and easily discard of the carrier. Crush.
Well then. I'm just lying arent I?
I'm not going to say your name at all anymore; I leave it up to the screams.
generally speaking. I loveToday it is simple.generally speaking. I love7 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
It begins with caves opening to reveal blindness for little seconds before my eyes painfully adjust. Travels on up a steep slope that jagged legs, crinkle left and right to straighten, when everything is level. Ten minutes pass (remember: Im always almost always lying about the time, but its only because I dont remember), and on the eleventh, Im wet with water that couldve touched so many dead things before it washes over my lips.
But still, morning comes with clean. And when I open my eyes to streaming water I feel happier when it is not mine; let it wash clean my orbs, blaze them fire-dance red and inject some life between me and the paramecium waltzing on my lidded hallucinations.
Its so I dont get lost in the sound of the fan sucking up all the steam of me. So I can focus on two red dots collided with blood maps surrounding two dots of chocolate indecision. So I dont have to dwell on the reason why clothes fade.
your lips spill truthyour ardour pearls into cups to catch my eyesyour lips spill truth7 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
but we do not fall for weakness; pin pricks beneath
my toes and i keep falling
your empty hands caress the washed streets of my cheeks
but too late for the deluge
you stroke tomorrows downstream
you are a word i suddenly remembered the meaning for
misusing it this whole time,
i feel such a fool.
im caught in an updraft of your hello
the easy way that smile turns into my name
turns to a frown
im seducing the last traces of your nonchalance
beckoning him out with promises
i sense your lips do lie, but we both know
a kiss can last forever and
forever can end with a kiss.
it isn't really autumnwe taught our graceit isn't really autumn7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to fly, and it taught
us to stay
tethered to our dreams
in a frightful way
like leaves do to branches
fragmentary assassinsa moment strangulates itselffragmentary assassins7 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
on a whim i let fall daisies
out of my mouth
chaining to become the crowns
of every I O U
the wall is the floor
my head is an ocean is a
lens cap is a migratory
formation i am jugular
i am heavy lidded i
am two minutes away from
this is a becoming this
is an undoing this is an
and you are every last piece
of the puzzle found
swollen with rain so it never
two taughtYou were me in my dream. I watched you placate myself with nervous flickings of my fringe behind my ears. Smoke curled around my splutterings as you habitually inhaled, forgetting it wasnt your body; those werent your lungs.two taught7 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
I tried to warn you before you looked into my satchel; you made me take out a handful of balled up tissues, bunches of forgotten receipts and a half empty notepad, with some useless words scrawled joylessly across the half full. No pen.
Curses started to back flip continuously out of my mouth, words you had always said, and I had never wanted to. I tried to tell you that I didnt mean what I was sayingbut stopped shortrealising.
I wanted to know why you felt the need to. But I knew, because you were me, and I was you, so I had toright?
In my dream I was you. Your fingers, your hands; I traced your right forefinger around the loop on your left thumb. Followed the spindly branches of your life line, resting on your luck lines and sl
running through the messesyou trick your mind,running through the messes8 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
you forget all the impulses,
you silence the routines and fractures of memories isolating your every moment.
you take a long cold drink.
you rest your head against the wall for some stability.
you let your mind drain out the sludge you keep there rotting.
you stop the motions,
you stop them just before they start,
you volley your thought processes into another direction.
you loosen your grip,
you let it take hold of you for just a second,
you allow yourself to give in to the screaming and all of the rushing voices.
you do this
you do this so you can
you do this so you can just go on.
the circle, the squarei tried this morning i did. i tried very hard, and it started but it never reached a crescendo, it sort of fizzled out like a not held on to the bottom of balloon.the circle, the square8 years ago in Philosophical More Like This
it started. but there was no follow through. i think i've run dry. it scares me, scares me so much, because it's lurking somewhere dark and mysterious, maybe somewhere locked behind my ribs, somewhere in between all my pulsing soft textured organs in my abdomen. with bright ugly eyes and waiting.
maybe it was a conscious unconscious subconscious thing. where my mind in all it's forms wouldn't won't doesn't let me at all. if ever, anymore, again.
just left with red slight swells and a head ache. i think i stopped it, stopped the attack before it broke.
consciously unconsciously subconsciously stopped the anxiety attack just before it floored me,
nice time too, in the shower, could have slipped and fell like so many other times.
the water washes it away.
the water washes nothing away.
i dont believe her when she said that hot
to see it fall, forgetsworse than the leavesto see it fall, forgets7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
(and it isn't even blowing
cold across your shoulders)
there is no wind,
and you fall
like the tree --
(but not so)
i am the only
one to hear you
crumple, see you
and i told her to waitand i told her to wait one hour and a day, but she was too impatient.and i told her to wait7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
instead, she stayed for a year and a week
and wept bitterly at her crying shoes.
i said, 'dont cry for your feet,
they only follow your voice
and you make the choice to lead them astray'
she bit cheeks of an apple, and left me the core
i told her no more and she took back hello
ate up all my heart, drank all my love juice. spat all the pips out. the whore.
she dallied past non sequiturs and fell victim to gullibility,
her paranoia blinding her light. she couldnt see, couldnt hear, nor realise
what was so blatantly latent.
i asked her what it meant to let the sky fall around you
and she said it has everything to do with looking up
always looking back with more to do than smile. she sighed
i told her, 'your knees creak with uncertainty
because you never found the time to decide,'
she replied with 'but i dont even like apples'
'dont fall victim to yourself,' and she laughed
and cried and screamed and fell over herself a
What is noi was looking for someone once,What is no8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
it wasnt you,
but i found you instead.
i wasnt disappointed so much as surprised
but life takes different courses
as rivulets of tears and blood down my cheeks
you know. you do.
when realisation hits you like a knife in the guts
spewing forth your last meals,
and all the tubework you knew you had, but never have had the pleasure of viewing.
i remember the day i saw my first.
i remember the day i saw my first.
i remember the days of everythings
but i like to shut it out
i like to remember sunshine
even if the warmth i feel on my face in closed eyes
is the heat of anger
the rain i feel,
of points to shoot off from
sentinels bolting down,
canoeing across lands expanses.
to battlegrounds of fingermarks.
i could tell you all a story
whilst telling myself, for the first
i could say to her what i lied about
but it wouldnt make it better
and phone calls from nowhere are so lovely frightening
i hang up after the first hello