this is the distinct linemy subconscious hates me.this is the distinct line4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
maybe even more than i
hate myself right now.
impossible, i know, but
i dreamed about you last night
for the first time in a long time.
you called me. your voice still
makes my heart do enough flips
and tumbles to make me sick.
not in a bad way though. never
in a bad way. but in any case,
you called and you weren't
angry. we weren't awkward.
we just were.
i smiled and it wasn't fake.
i dreamed that you could still love
me or that you still did.
one of the two. i can't remember.
either way, i felt whole again.
that's a feeling i thought i'd
forgotten. i should forget it.
i could still speak without
worrying what people would say
to me. distinct sympathy in
their eyes even when i swear
i'm okay. in my dream, i
promise i wasn't lying.
i was on a plane. the sunlight
hurt my eyes. but i was flying.
i dreamed i was a bird. it didn't
hurt until morning when i woke
up and felt like i had fallen.
my whole world in pieces because
i'm not really a bird witho
BROKEN HEART for broken heartBROKEN HEART for broken heart10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
a whimper from a dark corner decided
she had been suffering for too long
want to be
crying in the dark
when she found the gun
she aimed and squeezed the trigger
the bullet shattered an empty heart
breath of life
she was too scared of what she might miss
if the bullet had penetrated her own flesh
crimson blood fell
Is it Worth the Feelings?Your body is strong, lean,Is it Worth the Feelings?4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Your face is bristled with fur-silver flecks subtlety mark you.
I know you will protect me,
You whisper it everyday,
Almost a silent prayer
(But you don't believe in God).
I think I listen. At least a part of me does.
I know I can feel safe if I let myself,
I know those arms, that body, was meant to be a shield.
Yet, why is it that when I look at you, I hold onto fear?
I hold onto desperation and destruction?
Your arms are coated with spikes,
Your smile-with minute, pearly daggers- filled with venom.
Your eyes, an obsessed mind.
I shudder but I don't know why.
My mind knows your goodness,
My body knows your soft ruggedness.
You can be soft when you want to be.
And sometimes I think you beg me to let you.
But, something deep inside pulls me away from you.
Instinct? Nature? Angels?!
I believe everything has a reason
Even if the reason is too divine to be accepted.
You do not like my (re)actions.
I try to give logic to the illogical.
You have to forgive me.
fairy kisses, eyelash wishes.i always loved the way your breath mingled with your coffee when you were waiting for me on those icy days. your eyes were bluer than the winter sky and warmer than the sun i couldn't help smiling when i saw them.fairy kisses, eyelash wishes.4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Please talk to me. Open your eyes. Please open your eyes.
whenever i used to cry you'd brush your lips across my eyelids, leaving a trail of fairy kisses where my tears used to be. then you'd give me a bowl of ice cream and tell me so many jokes that i'd laugh until i started crying all over again.
I know you can hear me. You have to be able to hear me. Please
i remember when you made me that jar of origami stars. you put all the colors of the rainbow in there except for green, because i never liked that. and you told me that it was really a jar of wishes. you said that i could make a wish on every single star, and when i ran out of stars you'd make more. you said i should always have as many wishes as i wanted. i told you that eyelash wishes are really the
I Love You When You're SoberYou play good-cop, bad-cop with my emotions, winding me up like I'm easy before cracking the whip down my spine, and I'm loving the vertigo you're presenting. I watch the sway of the tides in your steps and I know I'll never win or feel the pulses of my name within your veins but I wish, just once, to read your mind. I wish you'd make up mine instead of leaving me dizzy between the sheets of wondering if you care and realizing you never will.I Love You When You're Sober5 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
You think I like what I do? You think I like what I'm doing, what I'm turning into? I don't. I hate it. I hate the way you put a spell over me. You smell of sweat and sunflowers and last year's watermelon. You taste of lust, hungry for my body as I wish to feel yours. The muscles tensing in your arms as you try to hold me gently, though every ounce of your being is begging to squeeze me till only US exists.
I need the stubble on your chin against my heartbeat and the sweat across our shoulders pooling between our pulses. I
motionI love you like amotion4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
a half-pause in a torrent of
during which life
stutters into being.
I want to take you
in the breathless spaces between
where passion builds and shudders
into a trailing afterthought
remembering yesterday.i saw a girl, yesterday, sitting on the pavement. her back was against the molding brick, and the leaves were falling around her body like tears, her arms were scrunched up in front of her face, shielding her beauty from the town. there was a fresh scar on her wrist, still bright and burning with pain. i've been in that position many times. so i sat beside her.remembering yesterday.5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
she moved her arms from her face, and looked at me with her muddy brown eyes, one eye covered with her black hair, and other with tears. her eyeliner had run down her face like a symphony, and no one even stopped long enough to notice-except for me; i understood.
we didn't speak. we just focused our eyes on each other. not even a blink came from her or me. it was like a photograph, two people frozen while everyone else around them moved freely. except we didn't smile, or show our tongues, we sat-blank and damaged.
she moved closer to me, putting her hand on mine, and her head on my broad, pale shoulder. she trusted me, even thou
Break my HeartThe tears of a child.Break my Heart6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The end of a civilization.
The wingless butterfly.
The marred masterpiece.
Disappointment in a mothers eyes.
A needless death.
Too Late To Call 911i.Too Late To Call 9115 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Make a Y-shaped incision from my shoulder blades down to my pubic bone. Reflect the skin back over my face and remove my breastplate. You'll find there's a splinter of a rib embedded in the left atrium of my heart and one lung is decompressed pointing to possible signs of cause of death. I wish I could tell the M.E. our separation was the primary cause of death and the explosion inside my ribcage was only due to my heart trying to burst out and latch onto yours. But I can no longer speak and nobody ever heard me anyways and my heart was never strong enough for yours.
Next remove my skull cap and gently remove my brain from within my skull. You'll be able to clearly see there is significant blunt force trauma to my hippocampus on my temporal lobe. After she left, I tried to make the memories leave with her so I scratched and scratched at the soft tissue of my brain but only permanently damaged my long-term memory from then on. She went from everything I wanted to forget to all I
Crank it UpOh honey let's crank up the volume,Crank it Up6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
let's work it up, speed up the beat.
Drown me in the sounds of your screaming
while I struggle to stay on my feet.
Lose me in your echoing laughter
or sob me into submission,
I'll pump up the bass and quicken the pace
if you'll only give your permission.
I can feel it in my bones,
I can hear it in my soul,
My voice is raw from my cacophonied exaltation
Drunk on the music, 2 brokens become whole.
I have found you, my intoxication.
I have found peace in the magnified sound.
I cannot give what was never taken away.
Only if the music swallows us can we drown.
Let's break it down into phrases,
try to find sense in alien noise.
Then let's build it into a frenzy
of shattered glass and wasted poise.
There's no reward in making a face,
just in case of who we might meet,
we've passed the test so ignore the rest
and let's give ourselves up to the heat.
I love the music, so loud, thats all that fills me
I dance like an in
StarstuckWait, didn't there used to be a girl? A girl with starstruck eyes who chased after scraps of dreams and specks of dust.Starstuck4 years ago in Emotional More Like This
What happened to her?
She's gone now, gone forever. But there's this other girl who replaced her. With social anxiety and a strong fear of abandonment. (Well that's okay, the stars with help her with that, won't they?) Identity disturbance and intense anger. (Where are the stars?) Recurrent self-harming/suicidal behavior. (Stars? Stars!) Dissociative symptoms, emotional instability. (My God, where did they go?)
Oh, you can stop searching for her stars. They're light years away.
Anyway. She may also have depersonalization disorder, schizophrenia. (That bad?) If not worse. One to keep her trapped behind a thick sheet of glass, hyper-sanity you could call it, to protect her from the other. It's very high security. Oh, and Renfield's syndrome, which isn't pretty either.
The stars made her want to live, you see. They lit up her world, made it shine and shimmer.
InteruptedInterupted6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I didnt realize youd be here.
I was just going to
Well, no. Honestly, I dont know what I was going to do.
I was thinking of you and how much I missed you.
how much I lost
You were very dear to me, back ... back before I did that thing.
You still are even though well, you know.
Honestly, I didnt think youd be home.
I just ... I just needed a tactile remembrance of you.
I really do miss you.
Sorry I left the marks on y
Words are easier to loveI found little notesWords are easier to love4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
hidden between the
pages of novels
I only bothered
to read once.
and secret crushes
filled the slightly
paper of a lonely girl
with veins that
pumped a writers
a cage around
her own ink stained
[ h e a r t. ]
what you were for mei try not to think of you too much, because it makes it hard to breathe, and i like to breathe, a lot. sometimes i can't stop the thought though, and it gets in and thats all i can see. you and your smile and your eyes and your hair and your lovely words. and it's so hard to remember that that smile won't smile for me anymore, and those eyes don't sparkle for me and that your lovely words are either broken or not for me. and once i remember, it's hard to stop crying but it's easy to lose all my breath and i feel my lungs collapse and it hurts my heart so badly.what you were for me5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
sometimes i imagine my heart is an old woman with alzheimers and she just keeps forgetting her lover is gone and she keeps on going through life at this hospital, but she's breaking; breaking down. and the tantrums are getting worse and worse and the nurses can't restrain her anymore and so maybe they have to chain her to the bed. except i don't chain my heart to a bed; i sleep, to erase the memories, if only for the night.
I Like YouI know your name,I Like You4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
First and last,
I know the color of your eyes,
And how they take me aback,
I don't know your favorite flower,
But with it I want to fill your room,
I don't know your favorite movie,
But I hope to see it soon,
If it takes a lifetime to know you,
Let's start today,
Because if today is all we have,
I have only this to say:
I like you.
Hyperventilation HystericsThe lace of a too-crisp lilac gown clutched within the quivering grasp of hysterical hands. Puffy eyes secrete dripping puddles of salt-water while muscle-spasms curl the spine in a most uncomfortable fashion. Ribs collapse against gasping lungs, tainting every inhale with a smothered ache.Hyperventilation Hysterics4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Watch the ivory moonlight spool across her throat in sterling stitches. Wait for the metallic shrieks that escape from the confines of her deranged esophagus. Listen as the anxiety splatters over teeth and erupts beneath bleeding gums. Fireworks of needle-point pain carving torment into taste-buds.
Thickening screams; throat gagging on white noise.
If her velvet echo caresses your eardrum, expect champagne ribbons streaking between the sound waves.
Sip bubbly from a crystal to stifle the screams.
Pray for a drunken stupor to numb nostalgia.
Memories amongst dry-ice graveyards. That precise echo, scalpel-edged c