memory thoughtmemory thought9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
wake up! wooden dens
are calling, claim
the dells: badger roots at
eight in the morning
gumboots earthy bluebells,
up, up! off the ground:
climbing game before I count
reddened knees never stop
muddy plasters start
a war game in the stream
sometimes surgeons like to kidsometimes surgeons like to kid8 years ago in Open More Like This
Sometimes I cannot sleep.
Earthquakes burrow into sheet fibres,
knees meet the radiator, the chunks clunk
then chip away, like the roller coaster thoughts
that spin around the room.
My head smacks pillows, and I remember
all the faces I scanned today,
up/down; they sighed boredom --
and had eyeballs where mattresses should be.
Fingertips feel sore, they say sorry
for touching you. I only wanted to see
what your heart felt like on the inside
but these hands did not belong
blood-drenched in you. Right then I decided --
I will never go to the dentist ever again.
He compliments my oral hygiene
as he asks me to open wide. It makes me sick
to bear my teeth like coffee cups to the world.
My spit embarrasses me, reminds me
of all the words caught inside my palate
that I could not say.
I had a dream last night. God came to me and said
'eleven thirty and something
will happen'. He showed me you in my room
like it was October, apple blossoms were by the window
and white strips down th
the postman is not deliveringthe postman is not delivering9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Do not listen when they utter
'when you love someone
your eyelashes chatter to the wind
and fireworks fall from your eyes
and tickle your skin'
because really love is
an old fashioned telephone,
heavy and its ring echoes and shakes
as somebody forces a finger
in the numbers and rams each tiny
to the wrong side of your chest,
then lets it flip back, unaided,
smacking the plastic against skin.
But it never clicks
back in place --
really love is
the sounds of acrylic against keys,
tapping faster to try and keep up
with the pulse of the phone
and the clunks and clanks of the heart, muttering
a late night 'Oh my god I can't catch my breath',
and it's only eleven minutes past midnight
so I think tonight, time is going to drag its feet
through clouds with grabbing hands
that will not tick-tock forward - instead
they grow brittle claws,
not water vapour that used to clings to my windows
so I could smudge feelings into reminders
of how too many hours I have
addictionaddiction11 years ago in General More Like This
have you ever been an addict. and im not talking
about the hey-i-like-to-do-this-alot type of addict.
im talking about the
type of addict. im an addict. ive never blown anyone
to get it. i dont think i would. but i havent been
given the opportunity to either. the reason i say 'i
dont think i would' is because i like to pretend that
i still have something thats mine. dignity, pride,
standards. but i know i would easily toss those away
just to get it. i know because i have. so all i
really have is it. for one hour. for two hours. for
fifteen minutes or however long it last. however long
i can afford it to last. ill be high for fifteen
minutes if thats all i can get.
im an addict. i dont get high just to get high. i
get high just to get my mind off getting high for a
few hours. after a fix im good for eight hours.
maybe. then the last of my previous highs memory
cells dry up and i want. need. how ca
Not a Word About YouI'm not gonna write about your eyes,Not a Word About You9 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Cause I've said all there is to be said.
I'm not gonna write about your lips,
Cause there's nothing else left in my head.
I'm not gonna write about your hair,
Or the way you make me melt.
I won't be discussing the power of your heart,
Or anything else that I've felt.
I'm not gonna talk about your laugh,
Or the way you make me smile.
I won't even talk about your intelligence,
Or that I've been in love with you for a while.
Most days I wake up and you make me smile,
Without even being there.
If you could feel what you do to my insides,
You'd know all the words I won't share.
AdamAdam9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
'sometimes when I breathe in
it's like a kick in the heart -
but I do not need saving'
When I was seven years old I wrote those words
in a letter to fairies. Then I slipped the note inside
a pink pillow case, then listened out for their wings
smacking air out of the way.
I did not like sleeping alone.
When I was 11 I kissed a boy with blond hair
and blue eyes, his name was Adam
and his lips were too warm, but I still kissed him
sixteen more times.
He had a royal blue fleece jacket and always smiled.
Always, but I never felt like smiling
and he always asked me why -
'I am too sad' I would say,
then he would hold my white cheeks
in his palms.
On January 24th 1999,
Adam must have felt sad too
because he turned into exactly how I felt on the inside.
But I did not cry when I was told,
it was more like a cold dream
dropping sharp-edged stones on my chest,
and surely soon I would wake up with one or two
still jammed inside my throat,
three minutes later I realised it was just dirty a
YouYou can't write a poem when you are in love--You6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Not in the sense of trying to capture what you feel,
What you see, what you desire because there is only so much that can be said.
A simple syllable which grabs the tongue in a choke-hold,
Suffocates the senses and drowns out any other thoughts of logic,
Until every math equation, grammatical structure, and fine pieces of literature
As If I Were SandYou once told me a secret,As If I Were Sand6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Whispered it in my ear.
And I looked at you at once,
And I saw no fear.
So I gave you my trust,
Pressed it into your hand,
And it slipped through your fingers
As if it were sand.
You once came to my bed,
And sang me to sleep.
And you whispered that each lyric
Was mine to keep.
So I gave you my song,
Pressed it into your hand,
And it slipped through your fingers
As if it were sand.
You once gave me your heart,
And held me with your hands,
But I slipped through your fingers
As if I were sand.
No Fairy TalesHow do I start this note? Perhaps it is not even a notefor a note brings to mind something short, sweet, to the point. A note is something you wish to receivea simple reminderbut this is not a reminder. This is not a tender little moment which I stick these words to a post it note and leave somewhere in an area thats obvious, but not. Something when you find it, it brings a smile to your face. This is not that type of note.No Fairy Tales7 years ago in Teen More Like This
Perhaps then I should call it a letter, but a letter seems formal. A letter is trying to capture the news, recalling memories, requesting information, and my ideas do not seem to circulate around any of those. Though, I do suppose it would be nice to hear what is going on in your life, I believe your sweet fingers should not be wasted on writing such a reply to me. Save their strength for a true note to a person who wishes to receive a letter or noteone which brings a smile to their face. I am not that
Fairy TalesFairy Tales10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The martini glass in front of me is too shallow
To drown myself in.
A layer of red at the bottom, grenadine or
Maybe blood spilled between me and you.
I held you away, at arms length behind me,
My emotions are loaded and cocked.
You never once paid attention,
Grabbing me off the dance floor and tipping me into your arms
I'm parallel with the floor and surprised as hell.
"You're fucking beautiful."
I shot you in the face.
The time you bought me coffee
Six dollars at Starbucks with chocolate shavings.
I poured packettes of sugar into our relationship
And waited for things to cool off a little.
They always get too cold.
Half a cup of liquid spilled onto yesterday's newspaper
A condensation ring and two roses on the table,
My ass and breasts walking out the door.
We always were too stubborn
Me with my video games and you with your stargazing.
Alexisonfire and that stupid fucking flash movie.
The time I shouted I hated you and you wouldn't let me leave.
When you held me tightly, arms pinned
one more fireone more fire8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
she was looking for purity
(in the form of flesh)
she found it -
in another man's caress
one more mark
for the bedsheet's tally
one more fire
left to burn through
such smooth lies
like silk across her thigh
dragging out the perfume
that flows from lip and pen
notes tucked in
with grandiose groupings of words
of how she's his perfect fit
like a tailor-made trenchcoat
with heretical smiles
a belief in perpetuity
- but not with her
deep as the witching hour
I Never Wanted Anything...I want to remember you like this...I Never Wanted Anything...9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
(Just like this.)
I'm through with
first glances and
Thanks for just abandoning me,
And all your friends...
Don't worry about me.
You'd cut off all your fingers just for an excuse not to call me.
I've already made my mistakes.
You're my favourite.
Best one I've made yet.
You're cute as hell, and you suckered me right in. sweet. heart.
Taking turns at 40 mi
DevelopingATasteForTheWater"you dont have to act nervous around me."DevelopingATasteForTheWater9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
easy for you to say.
it'd be easier for me to do if you'd stop staring at me with those clever green eyes.
(and please, stop talking so sweet that every word hits me in the back of the legs.)
When we both know I'm not worth it.
And you're not even desperate.
Cause you know, I like illusions.
We shouldn't jump into love like its a swimming pool.
You never bother testing the water.
I do. An inch at a time.
But you had to keep going sweet talker.
Had to contradict every excuse.
Had to look me in the eyes,
make me bite my lip,
How'd you know my heart was in my eyes and you could stare at it till it started beating again?
"Give up or give in."
Right now I don't see the difference.
I drop you a kiss that leaves you asking "Where did that come from?"
"I'm testing the water."
Then I smile and add
hydrocortisone cremeI like to write to you when you are not here,hydrocortisone creme6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It reminds me of your finger nails, of the freckle
behind your left ear and those superglued-limbs
that hold us together.
It seems a long time ago that I was picking my skin
to get closer to you, because thats where you are
asleep, a foetus, weeping inside my pores. I loved you there,
In fact, I loved you everywhere. In Paris in Birmingham in Bradford
in Calgary in Oakville and in the palm of my hands
where you slept sometimes.
I watched you, cocooned in my pink room.
You have thick eyelashes and you breathe heavy,
as if sighing You have to go soon.
I was embarrassed when you caught
my dilated eyes starting down, but you always
caught me back
with a smile.
You are a car ride too far, a potato chip too much,
a book I cannot put down,
everything Ive wanted pressed into one skin.
a thousand hearts filled up with happy
you are a million hairs stood on end when you touch my dry skin
making it soft, making it wa
Hey Sunshine, you kill meLook across the room.Hey Sunshine, you kill me9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I'm smiling,you're laughing.
But we're dying to know what we're about.
We're biting lips for different reasons
nervous as hell, pain, turn ons...
You're dropping kisses on my lips and saying "I'll see you everyday,right?"
I fall a step back and say "No... we can't."
If I'm ruining this for you, what do you think its doing for me?
We can't work it out
these roads we travelYou could've been the girl who changed me.these roads we travel2 years ago in Emotional More Like This
I've fallen down and fallen apart enough times that it gets hard to remember, but sometimes I study my scars in the sunlight and trace the patterns back through time. I spend my mornings living in memories, reliving the places I've scuffed myself, and I've found that romance is better in hindsight. Her kisses are sweeter tinged with nostalgia, and it almost feels like I'm whole again when I'm thinking of the dents she put in my pulse and smoothing out the wrinkles she left in my resolve. For a moment, there's equilibrium, but then the sun is setting and I'm disoriented, dropping fragments of myself between cracks in the sidewalk I'm following down the street and towards an independent sunset. I'm standing on the corner and waiting for the light to turn, and you show up with a wayward smile cradled in your fingers. You press it into my grasp and I'm thinking maybe I've spent too much time looking at my flaws instead of my potential.
You could h
lettersYou said, write me a letter sometime, and I smiled and nodded like it just made my top ten list of things to do today. I was lying because I knew if I ever wrote you a letter it would be uncertain stains all over the page and crumpled corners and scribbles in the very center of the paper that readletters5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I got out my calligraphy pens that night, but could find no words except those running under my skin, catching in my capillaries sickle-style. My vocabulary was hiding in my ventricles, trapped in caverns below my ribs. I had nothing but lies to sing to you, and and my only truths are silently screaming attention-whores. (I keep them locked up, theyll embarrass me.)
If I could form each curve and dash with the utmost precision, youd never know what a shaking hand penned them. If I could only find the right words to make you fall in love with my untruths, Id have a chance, but somehow Im always smearing my real self across the page.
HypocrisyHypocrisy10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Mail-in rebates keep her connected to the outside world.
Cracker Jacks provides all her jewelry.
She only sings on Wednesday, and she doesn't believe in tomorrow.
Alphabet soup means profanity in a bowl,
And magnetic poetry means gibberish on the fridge.
Her Barbies are all named after Biblical figures,
And Judas is her favorite.
She was born in August, but swears it was June,
And no one's ever known why.
The only thing she's ever loved is the concept of death --
That one day she will be six feet away from all of life's imperfections.
Pain is always capitalized,
love is always lowercased,
And O. J. didn't do it.
She's very religious --
A dedicated Hypocrite.
Hypocrisy is a beautiful thing,
And Judas listens as she sings it's praises
...but only on Wednesday.
Christmas lights stay up year-round, and sandals must be worn with socks.
She goes jogging at midnight, and follows the moon wherever it may lead her.
Smiling is a sign of weakness, and frowning shows good character.
to throw up on a dream catcherI threw my sighs away whento throw up on a dream catcher5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I threw my sight your way
when you caught my eyes
like a mottephobic butterfly catcher,
so you could throw them in the ocean, where
no matter how many times I throw a line,
I can never catch another fish of the sea:
not because it's unflavored,
but because I'm too allergic
to face your sea
or see your face;
but i would,
if i could...
I'd throw myself into your arms,
but you wouldn't catch that,
since you're too busy catching
Caught at the crime scene -
hands as red as blood spatter
my wish, your disappointment:
I stole your attention,
you stole my affection;
like Karma and Irony,
like Bonnie and Clyde,
like Catcher and Pitcher,
like Déjà Vu and Amnesia.
my baseball heart can only
things: fire; swine flu; lovesickness; rides to hell; fallen stars; the eye of the storm; one-team sports games; a contagious case of fucked if I do, fucked if I don't; and fourteen other curses that smell like you.
what i deservethere are more than one of me,what i deserve8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
they sit in window panes with one hand in their pockets
and one hand in their mouth, pushing too hard on boundaries.
they have prunes for hearts
and try to be brave,
but they are not. i am 20 years old, i am not yet the me i want to be.
i lay down in plastic cups and i am so small. this is my attempt
at being safe. i am still vulnerable. i am still young.
i am still learning
the things you taught me.
i used to be able to float in your cheek bones,
now i've moved down to ground level
and you flick me from your soles, o
how that tumble caused the under-skin to shake.
more than tremors, more than quakes
more than all the mistakes one person can make.
i push these things in boxes and sleep next to them all day.
i forgot everything good i have ever done.
all this festers in my swelling gut, then i wake up
and i ask these of dangerous shoes
to prevent me from asking you -
am i really that bad a person?
BreakEvenAtDowncast.I remember staring at the cracks, looking for where the rain falls through.BreakEvenAtDowncast.8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Those yellow walls seemed to stifle me
when my father called and told me he was sorry
And he loved me.
Tears threated my eyes with that beautiful commodity.
(No one knows the semantics behind "I love you")
I stared at the sky until the stars behind my eyes collided.
Thinking "This will never be something that keeps me awake."
(From then on, everything kept me awake.)
The bird on my window said
"Hello, my wings do not work."
I pushed him off and learned how to deal with grief.
A lady walked in and confided
"Hello, I do not feel like breathing."
I walked her to the ocean, finding out that a ship wreck has its afterglow.
And walked back Home alone.
.Black.Ribbon..Black.Ribbon.9 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A cross between her fingertips
She says she never meant to hurt you
But the splinters in your heart tell you otherwise
And if she loves you any more
You'll surely die, but does it matter
Does it matter that you still feel her
Fingers pushed inside you, playing with your soul
Brushed against your angel wings
You mean to tell her, honestly
You really wish she'd choke
But her corset tightens 'round your lips
And her ribbons, down your throat
You're stupid again
Stupid to think she'd listen any way
When all that's said is lies
Admit you've come to need them
Grown attached to their subtle joys
And when that cross between her fingers
Presses firmly against your chest
Next time you'll surely cry
Knowing full well that silence is best
When a blacksmith bellows.I have millions of cells expiring sadnessWhen a blacksmith bellows.3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
into the atmosphere, drawing nothing back in
but how I remember the colours of trees
before any of this started.
I used to have lungs, you see
all honeycombed and spongy.
I don't know how this happened.
I woke up one day and felt only a cavity
and two tiny plums, all purple and rotting,
squeezing through my ribcage
farther and farther each day.
I thought of you and gasped, feeling
only pain, only the pushing of bones
out of sockets, wondering how
these sagging balloons
could feel so big.
It's chronic, I say, as you touch
the air around where my chest
used to be, as you peer in there and look
for some way to stop my heart
from dropping out of my ass.
We don't know how this happened.
We are dumbfound, we are
confused, we are the worst thing that ever happened
to each other. You are clogging my arteries and have to step back.
Your skin is wrapped so tightly
around you chest, I see straight past your breasts
I watch the oxygen exchange, I observe h
nineninenine.I.nineninenine.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
We ought to call you an ambulance,
my dear; it's my
heart that needs the operation,
but your personality has been amputated
Do you remember the
days where we stood
still and counted the
stars as they shone
Those days are gone now,
and we never finished counting
those combusting balls of fire.
You're a cancerous tissue,
weaving your way into
lifedeath and hopefear.
Yes, you certainly left your mark.
You ate my heart from the
I always said you belonged to
Those disappeared days,
I pointed out our home
in the universe, and I like
to think that's where the
real you has now gone.
But sometimes I wonder if
you were a lie, and
this was your unspoken unspeakable truth.
I-I-I-- (but youyouyou)
I mean nothing.
I'm faint, you're faded,
we're long forgotten,
like the whites in my eyes
(red from pain, red from tears,
red from kissing away our years)
The sky opened up and