How to Comment on dA1. LOL Subjective If you don't like something, even if the person put time, effort, and thought into it, it isn't art. To further assert this truth, be sure to go to the person's deviation and/or main page to tell them that you think their work isn't art because you don't like it.
2. Hydra Stuck in an argument? Feel like you're losing or the other person is making points that are too logical for you to even attempt to debate against just fucking silly to you? Re-jump into the same argument using a double account. Two heads are better than one, right? So two accounts must make your side all the more valid. If you can make an account where no one can guess that it's yours, all the more bonus points for you and your craftiness at hiding yourself on the internet. If you're -that- clever online, you must surely be a master ninja in real life. Additionally, telling the person the same thing using a different account name ensures that they see your side of things more cle
How to Win an ArgumentEveryone gets into arguments at some point in their life. Electronic communication receptacles are no exception. If anything, one is more -likely- to find that it is easier to become embroiled in an online argument than anything else.How to Win an Argument5 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
1. CAP THAT If there's one sure-fire way to make a point stronger, it's typing in ALL CAPS. Considering that there are many instances when sound can't travel over the net, one must find the next best available way to be heard. This "next best" way is through "shouting," which just happens to be done online through typing in CAPS. Just like screaming, shouting, and general tantrum-throwing in real life, this method is a highly efficient method of making sure that your point gets across and makes you seem ten thousand times more valid and understandable. Additionally, it makes your argument come on more forcefully and shows the opposition you mean "serious fucking shit" with your side of things.
After all, loud noises work with dogs and small
How to Make a VampireVampire lore spans many, many years back into the past and they still remain popular today as one of the most recognized and exalted horror icons in the monster world of fiction. Yet despite having many different variations the world over, some parts have either been watered down or completely written out for today's modern audience. Maybe you want to share in the stable, ever-growing fangirl or fanboy-powered market of vampire literature? Well, look no further. Here are some tips to help get you started:How to Make a Vampire5 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
1. Beauty and the Beast Despite there being years and years of pre-existing exotic vampire folklore from all over the world, it really has only dwindled down to two types that actually sell in this day and age. Either: A) Smoking hot undead vampires that want to sex you or B) Incredibly violent gore-loving animals that want to kill everything.
How does one come down to choosing?
Well, just try and figure out what kind of audience you're going to pander to. The mai
How to be a True Fan1. Merch Does the object of your obsession have merchandise? Yes? Good. Make it your job to own every available piece of it. If you don't own every piece of available merchandise, you aren't complete. In fact, you won't have a functioning life because there will be a large gaping hole in your chest where that missing merchandise should be. The hole will be so mind-rendingly large that your mother, your best friend, your car, your dog, not even your smoking hot girlfriend will be able to fill. Also, the hole and stinking lumps of meat that surround it will be gradually eaten by the nastiest of flies until you do find something to plug it up with.How to be a True Fan5 years ago in Editorial More Like This
And cement will not work.
Make it your job to become a next-gen treasure hunter and send yourself on a never-ending quest to acquire all existing bits of said merchandise to plug that hole before the fly eggs do. Yes, even the Japan-release only ones.
2. In the Beginning A true fan must also have been alive wh
How to Make a HorrorHorror: the other white meat. Everyone's watched, read, or played one at some point. Maybe you're just feeling tired of seeing cute fluffy things on TV every goddamn day. It's getting increasingly difficult to find good quality freak-outs in an increasingly sheltered and child-proofed world. Need a break from your daily bombardment of family values and God-fearing overtones? Well, never fear. Here are some quick tips to guide you into becoming the Stephenie Meyer Stephen King.How to Make a Horror5 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
1. The Kids Every horror has to have children. Because children are usually creepier and far more hellish than your typical ghosts if given the chance. Especially little girls. Also, only dark-haired little girls are creepy. Blonds and red-heads can't be creepy. That's just silly. Everyone knows they're too dumb to be conniving or homicidal.
And the longer the girl's hair is, the creepier she is. For extra horror goodness, make sure her hair's length surpasses her actual <i>
Harry Potter AnalysisThe wonderful world of Harry Potter has touched countless lives upon its release. It contains many colorful elements from magic and fantasy to fighting bald snake people with little wooden sticks. Yet at the same time, despite touching so many countless lives, the ever-popular series has not been without its fair share of criticism, a large portion of which may not have been completely unfounded. Harry Potter has been said to promote more than a few more shady practices. It wouldn't hurt to explore and prod some of them in scholarly analysis.Harry Potter Analysis5 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
Let us take, for example, the most prevalent example in the HP wizarding world. Wands. Harry Potter and friends often use their wands to solve problems and, more often than not, create quite a few of them. HP, Ron, and Draco are constantly seen "whipping them out" and "waving them around," despite the fact many teachers advise most of the Hogwarts students against doing so. This could function as a sort of subliminal nod to boyhood fasc
Gen 10The two men in lab coats strolled down the long tiled hallway. One continued to make notes while the other stared down his nose at the newest batch.Gen 105 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"Professor Redwood, this is what we have so far on Generation ten. After many long years of turmoil, sweat, and blood, it has finally come to fruition. Sir,-"
the man motioned to the many containment units that lined the room. "-we've finally reached one thousand."
Redwood nodded, his face stoic. "Do you remember when they told us we'd never come this far? That we'd never make it?" He took a breath. "That after the fifth, we'd lost our touch. That we'd fall apart. That we'd never be the same as before."
"Indeed, sir. I remember all too well."
"They spat on us."
"It no longer matters, sir. We've made it this far...we've proved them wrong."
For a moment, the two men said nothing. They merely stared unblinkingly ahead at their life's work, all neatly packed into their little containment units...so small....so fragile...
How To ArgueIf there's one thing that a person can't live without, it's arguments. Whether it's online or real life, chances are you're going to get sucked into them. Like the death of a pet or every ongoing anime series since the mid nineties tanking horribly and hitting rock bottom, it's inevitable. So here are yet a few more tips to help you succeed in that key aspect of life (and online).How To Argue5 years ago in Editorial More Like This
1. Name Calling Dropping Something that you're bound to see in almost every other argument in life is the ever-present name-calling. Fuck key points or backing up your retorts with actual intelligence. None of that is necessary when you have name-calling. Name calling works especially well in real life. But since one can get their face brutally smashed in in real life, this makes doing it online slightly more advantageous (and easy to get away with). Besides, what are they gonna do? Reach through the screen and break your teeth in? They wish. Name calling allows you to score points
JACK ATTACKJack furrowed his brow and narrowed his eyes, focusing all his concentration into one move.JACK ATTACK5 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Possibly his last, if he wasn't careful. He slowly lifted his blade, fully aware that the wicked eyes with the fiery brows were still resting on him.
The demon grinned widely, revealing two rows of long, curving teeth.
"Make your move, Samurai," it taunted, demonic eyes ablaze.
That was all Jack needed. With a sharp cry, he swung his blade twice into the demon's dark form, creating a shining white X as he did so. The demon let out an ear-piercing shriek and suddenly began to howl-
The samurai glared up at the beast in irritation.
"FfffffffOOL!" the dark creature spit, bits of saliva splattering onto Jack's face. Aku pointed a long clawed finger at the dark space they were playing on (a.k.a. Aku's stomach). "That is your second move! See? Two X's in a row. I know exactly where to block you. Predictable Samurai." Aku laughed to himself as he took his claw and drew a ci
How to Make an Awesome SeriesWanna know how you can make your original works popular? Want people to salivate over every other thing you push out, regardless of how seemingly outlandish or silly? In a few easy steps, you, too, can have every fanboy and girl from North America to Japan licking the festering shit that spews forth from your anus delicious golden fame that drips from your very fingers.How to Make an Awesome Series5 years ago in Academic Essays More Like This
1. No Adult Main Characters The key to a successful series is to never have the main character be a day over 17 years of age. It makes it more accessible to a more general audience and thus gives it more popularity through a wider fan base. Only young people in the prime of life can go on and join the military action-packed adventures of a lifetime and have the imagination capacity to sit through hours and hours of colorful drug-inspired bullshit that anyone over 30 would most likely scoff at. Also, adults are colorless and have no souls, thus why they can't ride unicorns or wield keyblades.
Have you ever seen a
How To Make a Real MonsterTales of monsters have been around since mankind was old enough to feel fear of the dark. Quite possibly even longer. And despite many thousands of years since, monsters still remain popular unto this day. You see them everywhere, stores, films, media, video games, comics, etc. A lot of people want to create monsters themselves. But how does one stand out in a world already so saturated with goblins and swamp creatures? How does one seem unique while managing to use an element that may have been done many times throughout history?How To Make a Real Monster6 years ago in Editorial More Like This
Never fear. For in this guide, we will turn everything you've been taught about monsters thus far and turn it upside down. You will be taught how to create a real monster.
1. Getting With the Times Let's get one thing straight. Century-old tales can be only interesting for so long in an age of iPods and portable microwaves. Therefore, we need to make our monsters appeal to the times. As in, we need to make them appeal to the audien
How To Write YaoiToday, we're going to show you how to write The Greatest Thing to ever happen evar.How To Write Yaoi6 years ago in Editorial More Like This
Yaoi. Since it's a known fact that all female characters are vastly inferior to the male ones, none of them are suitable to be shipped with a male character. In fact, they can all go lez in a corner. No. This is going to be about yaoi. The greatest thing to evar happen evar of all time. Because we could never let a woman soil the true and pure love between a man and another man. And nothing is more sacred than that.
1. Tops and Bottoms As a rule, all yaoi couples must have a certified top and bottom (or uke and seme for you Japan types). NO EXCEPTIONZ1111!! You're either top. Or bottom. Period. The end. No exceptions. That's how all relationships work. And if you're relationship isn't like that, then there's probably something wrong with you. Or you're a woman. Then there's definitely something w
How to Make a BadassBadasses. The media's chock-full of them. Ever since the 80s-90s darker and edgier characters have been steadily emerging as main characters instead of staying as the usual bad guy role. Today, they're so prevalent that it seems like every other game, film, or comic we pick up has some form of dark, chaotic, trench-coat wearing protagonist. Chances are, you want some of the sweet, darkly feeling of badassery to rub off on you too. So here are some tips to help you on your way to making one of the coolest, hardest, fastest, strongest, ass-kickingest, tired-of-these-snakes motherfuckerest badassed character of all time.How to Make a Badass5 years ago in Editorial More Like This
1. Clothes Like how Abercrombie and Fitch is a big, flashing sign that says, "hey, I'm a stylin' dresser!" the outfit of the badass should always scream, "move bitch, get out the way." And nothing says that better than a goddamn fucking trenchcoat.
"But no one wears a trench coat in broad daylight! It looks stupid!"
Hah! Tell that to Dante or Keanu Re
Clash of the FandumbsOne day an orange ninja was busy sitting under a tree and eating ramen when a challenger appeared.Clash of the Fandumbs5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"I challenge you to a duel," said a spiky-haired individual with a gigantic key. The boy then proceeded to wave his key in a most threatening and scary manner.
"Like oh my god," said the orange ninja. "You are just a boy with a key and I am a ninja. Wearing orange."
"Omg that is like the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard," said the Key Boy. "What kind of ninja wears bright orange? I can see you a mile away."
"It's okay," said the Orange Ninja, "I'll just recolor myself to blend into my surroundings for camouflage. Recolor no Jutsu!"
The Orange Ninja then recolored his eyes to be blood red and made his hair green and his jumpsuit to be completely black.
"I can still see you," said the Key Boy. "You just changed your colors."
"No I most certainly did not," replied the now-suddenly-red-eyed-black-jumpsuit-green-haired Ninja. "I am a completely and totally different and unique character
I Used To BeOur toes are making tidal waves in the water, dusk-dazed legs dangling from the pier, as she rests her head on my shoulder. Hair the color of cedar bark, and as fine as spider silk, tickles my chin, as she lifts her cheek.I Used To Be5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
My eyelids, pinned down by fireflies and dying embers, open sleepily, and I scan her body, a slender silhouette against the burning sunset. "I used to be a mermaid." Her lips, the pale pink of a catfish belly, whisper to me, as fingertips brush the white tips of persistent waves.
I can't manage more than a drowsy, "Oh?" captivated by the curve of her back, bent so can whisper to the waves, and the quiet melody she produces with her words.
"Mhmm." It's more of a sigh, dripping with longing, that splashes into the warm water, and caresses our feet. "But they caught me in their nets. I remember the sudden change of current, and the sweeping green mesh that stole me out of my waters. Their wide eyes, and grimy fingers, insistent on poking and prodding my every limb. They
I Remember MeShe is only eighteen and the world has never failed her. Her smile is wide, open-mouthed and dimpled. And when she laughsGod, when she laughsit's a free, melodic thing, unrestrained, like pealing bells. It bubbles out of her, all golden curls, just like the lion's mane that ranges wildly around her eyes. She is so happy, so lively. So alive.I Remember Me4 years ago in Emotional More Like This
She is nineteen and her small hands shake with something that is panic and excitement and something a great deal more. She is in love and suddenly her world is narrowed to one wild, beautiful girl and her kisses and her smile. Baby girl. Nobody has ever called her that. Nobody has ever cared for her in that way, and she is in love with the way she is lovedso wholly and completely and with such overwhelming passion.
There is a small part of her that is convinced that this cannot be real, that maybe this cannot last. But she tries to push that part of her away. How can she think that when there is a ring and a promise
Kingdom Hearts AnalysisIf you've played video games at any point in your life, you've most likely heard of the Kingdom Hearts series at some point or another. Perhaps you've played it yourself. The widely popular action RPG title with a young protagonist and a large metal key. The most noticeable "theme" with this game seems to be the one that involves light versus darkness, ex. good versus evil.Kingdom Hearts Analysis5 years ago in Academic Essays More Like This
However, did you ever think that with such an "epic" theme, the creators could possibly have had, say, deeper intentions for the game? Possibly something a beyond what lies on the surface, something beyond the seemingly overly-cliched plot of a young "chosen one" going around the world (or worlds, in this case) to "save the world" along with the blatantly too-shallow-to-be-metaphorical plotline?
Some would certainly think so.
For starters, one of the most noticeable aspects about Sora's appearance is that he consistently wields a large key. But why a key? Some wield guns, other wield swords, some even wield a
How 2 Make an Anime GurlGirls, girls, girls. Everybody loves girls! They're so soft and cuddly! Know what else everyone loves? That's right! Anime! So what happens when you put the two best things in the world together!How 2 Make an Anime Gurl6 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
Anime girls. We've gone through how to make dicktastic sexbombs believable female characters and space marines main characters, let's explore some of the more whimsical elements fiction has to offer.
1. Body Type The biggest and most important rule of anime girls.
No fat chicks. You ever see a hot fat chick in anime? Yeah, that's what I thought. The only part of them that's allowed to be fat is their breasts. (Or they usually gotta be flat as boards, one or the other, no in between). If an anime girl doesn't conform to this body type, she simply isn't hot. And because Japan thinks so, everyone should think so.
2. Eyes and Hair Next most important to no fat chicks, all their eyes must be big, big, BIG. The eyes are like breasts. The
The Greatest Fic EverOne day, the Roarschack was walking randomly down the street when this random stranger jumped out in front of him and said, "Walter, i am a mysterious girl from your past who has now grown up into a beautiful young woman and i am secretly a vigilante and we need to be together because we're both vigilantes and we're both liek rlly messed up and we complete each other in our mutual messed-uppedness."The Greatest Fic Ever5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"Rrrraaaarlllll," said the Roarschack.
Hideously rejected, the mysterious and bootiful young woman then went to hogwhutz.
"Pruffesser Snope," she said, "I am Voldermort's secret daughter that no one knew about and also Harry Potter's dark twin cousin. I can speak parsell tung and potions is my favorite class, we are compatible so won't you love me because I had an abused childhood where Voldemort killed my mom and because I'm technically not a legal adult and long flowing hair and green eyes which is mysteriously like someone else you knew and oh hey this is hogwhutz, a magical place
Unwanted Angel"Bury me, maybe I'll bloom." Her voice is as light as the air that caresses my face.Unwanted Angel5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"Hmm?" My voice is sleepy, and I prop myself up on my elbows to look at her.
Her hair, loose curls just a shade away from being the color of sun beams, is being pulled and tugged on by the wind. Her eyes are closed, and head back, as the tire swing rocks her frail body back and forth. "Like a seed. Maybe if we buried me, I'd bloom." She clarifies, and I watch her wriggling toes sink into the loamy soil.
"You'd be the most beautiful flower ever, Emmie." I nod, and let my lips brush her kneecap. She giggles slightly, a sound like bells caught by the wind's fingertips. Though she's a little too thin, and feels a little too breakable when I hug her, I never want to let her go. Pale skin is stretched across her petite bones, like a blank canvas. I've memorized the spots on her body where every freckle is nestled, and where every scar is from when she was a little too careless.
Avatar But BetterOnce upon a time, there was a planet far, far way called Pandora. It was rich in unobtainium and the Na'vi were selfishly hoarding it all to themselves like wicked blue dragons and not sharing it with the rest of the universe.Avatar But Better5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"Please sir," said a tall, strapping gentleman by the name of Miles Quaritch. "May we have some of your unobtanium? Our planet is in dire need and only this can save it."
"Hohoho!" laughed Neytiri and Jake. "You humans are inferior to our blue race. you cannot even play basketball at our level. How dare you think you can even deserve the unobtanium."
"But, Jake," said the Colonel, manly tears rolling down his man face, "I thought we had something special."
"No," said Jake. "I am a Na'vi now. I can run and jump like a ten foot tall blue child and play basketball better than any human. I can fly on dinosaurs. I can screw with blue neko smurf girls whenever I please and they will make me their king. Join me, Colonel, and I will make your face the greatest on Pandora
You Don't Hear Me"We are too different."You Don't Hear Me4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I've never met people more the same.
We're both paranoid.
We both used to hate ourselves.
We're confident and arrogant.
You love me.
I love you.
Don't lie to me.
"She said I was too immature for you."
Of course she did.
What else would she say?
She wants you like I want you.
I just hope I win
Because I'm worth it.
Stop listening to her.
"My best friend loves you."
But I don't love him.
Can't you ever think of your own happiness?
Stop being superman and fall for me?
He won't be happy,
But can't we just say,
If you really want me?
"My past is darker than you know."
And mine is darker than you know.
So we hate.
Can't we pick up and move on?
It is the "past" after all.
I don't care what you've done.
"You've only dated good boys."
And I'm sick of it.
I don't care if they're "good."
I don't want them.
I've always had a thing for bad-asses anyway.
My horizons should broaden.
I don't want them.
I want you.
"I can't put my proble
this isn't progress, because you're irreversible.You were never meant for me.this isn't progress, because you're irreversible.4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
I knew it in the most obvious manner. It was in the way you had a subtle sort of comfort in your own skin a quiet and humble confidence while I struggled to make sense of the prints on my fingertips and the way one of my eyes crinkled in the corner more than the other when I smiled. You felt safe with yourself while I was always warring with my own reflection. Half the time, I didn't know who I was. A quarter of the time, I still don't. You would call this progress if you were here to see, but I just call it sad.
When you miss something for long enough, you start to forget the exact way that things happened. Or the exact way they happened to fall apart. For instance, I don't remember the first time you didn't call, but I do remember when you told me you loved me but not enough. It's never enough, is it? The point is you were gone before I could even say goodbye. You were gone before you were ever really here, but somehow I let myself bu
AnthemStand, girl, standAnthem5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Fight, girl, fight
This is the debt you're paying
The debt you'll never repay
So press your palm against the wound, girl
There's blood seeping between your fingers
And promise him life, girl
Always promise life
Even when his eyes are glassy
And you know he's not seeing you
Even when you're a thousand miles away, too.
Does your shoulder ache, girl?
And can you smell amber in the dust?
You can't stop, girl
You can't let yourself stop.
Oh, you'd better stand, girl
You'd better fight, girl
Because this is the debt you're paying
This is the debt you'll never repay.
Stress-ball MindI feel like a rainy day,Stress-ball Mind4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
a fogged-up window pane.
I'm drawing pictures in the mist
just to give myself a face.
I have a hard time putting words
to the turmoil in my chest,
My mind feels like a stress ball
in some anger patient's hand,
crushed and trying desperately
to find its shape again.