How to Comment on dA1. LOL Subjective If you don't like something, even if the person put time, effort, and thought into it, it isn't art. To further assert this truth, be sure to go to the person's deviation and/or main page to tell them that you think their work isn't art because you don't like it.
2. Hydra Stuck in an argument? Feel like you're losing or the other person is making points that are too logical for you to even attempt to debate against just fucking silly to you? Re-jump into the same argument using a double account. Two heads are better than one, right? So two accounts must make your side all the more valid. If you can make an account where no one can guess that it's yours, all the more bonus points for you and your craftiness at hiding yourself on the internet. If you're -that- clever online, you must surely be a master ninja in real life. Additionally, telling the person the same thing using a different account name ensures that they see your side of things more cle
Every YouTube Fight Ever(This will almost certainly contain heavy profanity and the usernames used in this were pulled out of my own head and aren't any real people that I know of but if someone has usernames matching them then it's probably coincidental).Every YouTube Fight Ever5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
SamusFan20 in the video description: This is my Metroid compilation of pictures in a slideshow featuring Samus set to Queen's "We Will Rock You." I hope you guys enjoy.
DisgruntledAsswipe87: Jesus Christ you're such a faggot. Why the hell would you post pics of a fictional girl and set it to Queen? Do yourself a favor and go get a REAL GIRLFRIEND, loser. Oh, and stop shaming such a great band with such a shitty video game and your BS imature antics at attempting to fap to it.
(In reply to DisgruntledAsswipe87) ConcernedStranger17: Hey, calm the fuck down, douchebag. If this person is so "immature," than what the hell are you doing on a video meant for a video game girl, anyway? I bet you were at home looking for something to fap to and found this and decide
How to be a True Fan1. Merch Does the object of your obsession have merchandise? Yes? Good. Make it your job to own every available piece of it. If you don't own every piece of available merchandise, you aren't complete. In fact, you won't have a functioning life because there will be a large gaping hole in your chest where that missing merchandise should be. The hole will be so mind-rendingly large that your mother, your best friend, your car, your dog, not even your smoking hot girlfriend will be able to fill. Also, the hole and stinking lumps of meat that surround it will be gradually eaten by the nastiest of flies until you do find something to plug it up with.How to be a True Fan5 years ago in Editorial More Like This
And cement will not work.
Make it your job to become a next-gen treasure hunter and send yourself on a never-ending quest to acquire all existing bits of said merchandise to plug that hole before the fly eggs do. Yes, even the Japan-release only ones.
2. In the Beginning A true fan must also have been alive wh
How to Make a VampireVampire lore spans many, many years back into the past and they still remain popular today as one of the most recognized and exalted horror icons in the monster world of fiction. Yet despite having many different variations the world over, some parts have either been watered down or completely written out for today's modern audience. Maybe you want to share in the stable, ever-growing fangirl or fanboy-powered market of vampire literature? Well, look no further. Here are some tips to help get you started:How to Make a Vampire5 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
1. Beauty and the Beast Despite there being years and years of pre-existing exotic vampire folklore from all over the world, it really has only dwindled down to two types that actually sell in this day and age. Either: A) Smoking hot undead vampires that want to sex you or B) Incredibly violent gore-loving animals that want to kill everything.
How does one come down to choosing?
Well, just try and figure out what kind of audience you're going to pander to. The mai
How to Win an ArgumentEveryone gets into arguments at some point in their life. Electronic communication receptacles are no exception. If anything, one is more -likely- to find that it is easier to become embroiled in an online argument than anything else.How to Win an Argument5 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
1. CAP THAT If there's one sure-fire way to make a point stronger, it's typing in ALL CAPS. Considering that there are many instances when sound can't travel over the net, one must find the next best available way to be heard. This "next best" way is through "shouting," which just happens to be done online through typing in CAPS. Just like screaming, shouting, and general tantrum-throwing in real life, this method is a highly efficient method of making sure that your point gets across and makes you seem ten thousand times more valid and understandable. Additionally, it makes your argument come on more forcefully and shows the opposition you mean "serious fucking shit" with your side of things.
After all, loud noises work with dogs and small
How to Make a HorrorHorror: the other white meat. Everyone's watched, read, or played one at some point. Maybe you're just feeling tired of seeing cute fluffy things on TV every goddamn day. It's getting increasingly difficult to find good quality freak-outs in an increasingly sheltered and child-proofed world. Need a break from your daily bombardment of family values and God-fearing overtones? Well, never fear. Here are some quick tips to guide you into becoming the Stephenie Meyer Stephen King.How to Make a Horror5 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
1. The Kids Every horror has to have children. Because children are usually creepier and far more hellish than your typical ghosts if given the chance. Especially little girls. Also, only dark-haired little girls are creepy. Blonds and red-heads can't be creepy. That's just silly. Everyone knows they're too dumb to be conniving or homicidal.
And the longer the girl's hair is, the creepier she is. For extra horror goodness, make sure her hair's length surpasses her actual <i>
Ode to the Wildernessi knew that evar since i was borned i was a little diffrnt from everybudy else. no one understands what im going through.Ode to the Wilderness5 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
it all started when i started having this dream where i dreamt i was in a pack runnin wif otehr wolves and i was da leader. after that, everyfing changed. after that I saw the signs.
like i was rly good with dogs and stuff and all the dogs i meet get along wif me rly well. like my neighbor's poodle likes me more than she likes her owner. and this one tiem my dentist told me dat my teeth were longer than they should be.
if that's not a sign then i dont kno wut is.
i dont get along well wif other people because they make fun of me and my love of animals (mostly dogs and wolfs) and i get rly defensive when i feel me or my "pack" is threatened. i got more along wif wolfs and dogs than stupid jerk people so therefore i am a wolf. i am convinced of it and dont u try to tell me otherwise.
Oh, did i mention that when sometimes i laugh out loud it sounds like barking?
Guide to the AneemeiHello. Today we'll be going into the depths of the jungle in search of an exotic and incredibly wild beast in its natural habitat. It is a very curious creature indeed, sometimes it takes great care to make itself the most noticeable thing in plain sight, other times it hides amongst us, camoflaging itself as "one of us." That is, until it is properly baited and/or the creature assumes it is only in the presence of other members of its species, in which it will then throw caution to the wind and commence returning to its true nature.Guide to the Aneemei5 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
That of the aneemeifayun.
In general, the aneemeifayun species is largely capable of human speech. However, it functions more like a 'second' language than anything else, only to be used when absolutely necessary. And even then, it is often sprinkled with an assortment of oddities from their first along with being somewhat broken and incomplete.
Some examples would include:
"omg disis sokawaii," possibly meaning, "This shit in front of me is fucking adorab
Harry Potter AnalysisThe wonderful world of Harry Potter has touched countless lives upon its release. It contains many colorful elements from magic and fantasy to fighting bald snake people with little wooden sticks. Yet at the same time, despite touching so many countless lives, the ever-popular series has not been without its fair share of criticism, a large portion of which may not have been completely unfounded. Harry Potter has been said to promote more than a few more shady practices. It wouldn't hurt to explore and prod some of them in scholarly analysis.Harry Potter Analysis5 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
Let us take, for example, the most prevalent example in the HP wizarding world. Wands. Harry Potter and friends often use their wands to solve problems and, more often than not, create quite a few of them. HP, Ron, and Draco are constantly seen "whipping them out" and "waving them around," despite the fact many teachers advise most of the Hogwarts students against doing so. This could function as a sort of subliminal nod to boyhood fasc
Sonic the Hedgehog AnalysisIf there is one figure that constantly rivals the gaming world's Mario, it's Sonic.Sonic the Hedgehog Analysis5 years ago in Editorial More Like This
He's been running around for more than a few years and it's a wonder he hasn't aged at all. But surely a series as long-running as Sonic is bound to have a few dark secrets of its own, something that makes it more than a game or two where you pick up chao and run around in circles saving baby animals.
Many of you will noticed Sonic has not aged over the past 15 years. This is a representation of eternal youth and his constant running from place to place symbolizes the desire to never grow up and remain forever young. It also represents youth's irresponsibility and inability of the young to make lasting commitments. Likewise, Sonic's eternally smiling face and cocky attitude symbolize the overall cockiness of youth and the firm belief that he will never have to face the world of growing up or taking responsibility.
Sonic can also be seen to double as a metaphor for the elusiveness of the natural world.
How To ArgueIf there's one thing that a person can't live without, it's arguments. Whether it's online or real life, chances are you're going to get sucked into them. Like the death of a pet or every ongoing anime series since the mid nineties tanking horribly and hitting rock bottom, it's inevitable. So here are yet a few more tips to help you succeed in that key aspect of life (and online).How To Argue5 years ago in Editorial More Like This
1. Name Calling Dropping Something that you're bound to see in almost every other argument in life is the ever-present name-calling. Fuck key points or backing up your retorts with actual intelligence. None of that is necessary when you have name-calling. Name calling works especially well in real life. But since one can get their face brutally smashed in in real life, this makes doing it online slightly more advantageous (and easy to get away with). Besides, what are they gonna do? Reach through the screen and break your teeth in? They wish. Name calling allows you to score points
Gen 10The two men in lab coats strolled down the long tiled hallway. One continued to make notes while the other stared down his nose at the newest batch.Gen 105 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"Professor Redwood, this is what we have so far on Generation ten. After many long years of turmoil, sweat, and blood, it has finally come to fruition. Sir,-"
the man motioned to the many containment units that lined the room. "-we've finally reached one thousand."
Redwood nodded, his face stoic. "Do you remember when they told us we'd never come this far? That we'd never make it?" He took a breath. "That after the fifth, we'd lost our touch. That we'd fall apart. That we'd never be the same as before."
"Indeed, sir. I remember all too well."
"They spat on us."
"It no longer matters, sir. We've made it this far...we've proved them wrong."
For a moment, the two men said nothing. They merely stared unblinkingly ahead at their life's work, all neatly packed into their little containment units...so small....so fragile...
JACK ATTACKJack furrowed his brow and narrowed his eyes, focusing all his concentration into one move.JACK ATTACK5 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Possibly his last, if he wasn't careful. He slowly lifted his blade, fully aware that the wicked eyes with the fiery brows were still resting on him.
The demon grinned widely, revealing two rows of long, curving teeth.
"Make your move, Samurai," it taunted, demonic eyes ablaze.
That was all Jack needed. With a sharp cry, he swung his blade twice into the demon's dark form, creating a shining white X as he did so. The demon let out an ear-piercing shriek and suddenly began to howl-
The samurai glared up at the beast in irritation.
"FfffffffOOL!" the dark creature spit, bits of saliva splattering onto Jack's face. Aku pointed a long clawed finger at the dark space they were playing on (a.k.a. Aku's stomach). "That is your second move! See? Two X's in a row. I know exactly where to block you. Predictable Samurai." Aku laughed to himself as he took his claw and drew a ci
How to Make an Awesome SeriesWanna know how you can make your original works popular? Want people to salivate over every other thing you push out, regardless of how seemingly outlandish or silly? In a few easy steps, you, too, can have every fanboy and girl from North America to Japan licking the festering shit that spews forth from your anus delicious golden fame that drips from your very fingers.How to Make an Awesome Series5 years ago in Academic Essays More Like This
1. No Adult Main Characters The key to a successful series is to never have the main character be a day over 17 years of age. It makes it more accessible to a more general audience and thus gives it more popularity through a wider fan base. Only young people in the prime of life can go on and join the military action-packed adventures of a lifetime and have the imagination capacity to sit through hours and hours of colorful drug-inspired bullshit that anyone over 30 would most likely scoff at. Also, adults are colorless and have no souls, thus why they can't ride unicorns or wield keyblades.
Have you ever seen a
How to Make a BadassBadasses. The media's chock-full of them. Ever since the 80s-90s darker and edgier characters have been steadily emerging as main characters instead of staying as the usual bad guy role. Today, they're so prevalent that it seems like every other game, film, or comic we pick up has some form of dark, chaotic, trench-coat wearing protagonist. Chances are, you want some of the sweet, darkly feeling of badassery to rub off on you too. So here are some tips to help you on your way to making one of the coolest, hardest, fastest, strongest, ass-kickingest, tired-of-these-snakes motherfuckerest badassed character of all time.How to Make a Badass5 years ago in Editorial More Like This
1. Clothes Like how Abercrombie and Fitch is a big, flashing sign that says, "hey, I'm a stylin' dresser!" the outfit of the badass should always scream, "move bitch, get out the way." And nothing says that better than a goddamn fucking trenchcoat.
"But no one wears a trench coat in broad daylight! It looks stupid!"
Hah! Tell that to Dante or Keanu Re
How To Write YaoiToday, we're going to show you how to write The Greatest Thing to ever happen evar.How To Write Yaoi6 years ago in Editorial More Like This
Yaoi. Since it's a known fact that all female characters are vastly inferior to the male ones, none of them are suitable to be shipped with a male character. In fact, they can all go lez in a corner. No. This is going to be about yaoi. The greatest thing to evar happen evar of all time. Because we could never let a woman soil the true and pure love between a man and another man. And nothing is more sacred than that.
1. Tops and Bottoms As a rule, all yaoi couples must have a certified top and bottom (or uke and seme for you Japan types). NO EXCEPTIONZ1111!! You're either top. Or bottom. Period. The end. No exceptions. That's how all relationships work. And if you're relationship isn't like that, then there's probably something wrong with you. Or you're a woman. Then there's definitely something w
Clash of the FandumbsOne day an orange ninja was busy sitting under a tree and eating ramen when a challenger appeared.Clash of the Fandumbs5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"I challenge you to a duel," said a spiky-haired individual with a gigantic key. The boy then proceeded to wave his key in a most threatening and scary manner.
"Like oh my god," said the orange ninja. "You are just a boy with a key and I am a ninja. Wearing orange."
"Omg that is like the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard," said the Key Boy. "What kind of ninja wears bright orange? I can see you a mile away."
"It's okay," said the Orange Ninja, "I'll just recolor myself to blend into my surroundings for camouflage. Recolor no Jutsu!"
The Orange Ninja then recolored his eyes to be blood red and made his hair green and his jumpsuit to be completely black.
"I can still see you," said the Key Boy. "You just changed your colors."
"No I most certainly did not," replied the now-suddenly-red-eyed-black-jumpsuit-green-haired Ninja. "I am a completely and totally different and unique character
How to Make VillainsWe've already gone over how to make every kind of awesome main character. While main character's have little things to add to their epicness here and there, there's another vital thing that makes them truly great. Something that means more than their weapons or their bravery or they adventures they go on.How to Make Villains6 years ago in Editorial More Like This
1. Puns Nearly every awesome or memorable villain that has ever been awesome or memorable before has usually made puns at some point. They're not lame or cliche, they're the the universal measure of villain intelligence. The more they're able to come up with puns for any given moment or any given situation, the cleverer they are. That's why you don't see good guys making puns as much. Because they're not evil geniuses. Duh. The villain needs to have a pun ready and loaded for use at any time, any where. If the villain can't do that...well, he's not very clever or evil now, is he?
2. My Plans, Let Me
How To Make a Real MonsterTales of monsters have been around since mankind was old enough to feel fear of the dark. Quite possibly even longer. And despite many thousands of years since, monsters still remain popular unto this day. You see them everywhere, stores, films, media, video games, comics, etc. A lot of people want to create monsters themselves. But how does one stand out in a world already so saturated with goblins and swamp creatures? How does one seem unique while managing to use an element that may have been done many times throughout history?How To Make a Real Monster5 years ago in Editorial More Like This
Never fear. For in this guide, we will turn everything you've been taught about monsters thus far and turn it upside down. You will be taught how to create a real monster.
1. Getting With the Times Let's get one thing straight. Century-old tales can be only interesting for so long in an age of iPods and portable microwaves. Therefore, we need to make our monsters appeal to the times. As in, we need to make them appeal to the audien
How 2 Make an Anime GurlGirls, girls, girls. Everybody loves girls! They're so soft and cuddly! Know what else everyone loves? That's right! Anime! So what happens when you put the two best things in the world together!How 2 Make an Anime Gurl6 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
Anime girls. We've gone through how to make dicktastic sexbombs believable female characters and space marines main characters, let's explore some of the more whimsical elements fiction has to offer.
1. Body Type The biggest and most important rule of anime girls.
No fat chicks. You ever see a hot fat chick in anime? Yeah, that's what I thought. The only part of them that's allowed to be fat is their breasts. (Or they usually gotta be flat as boards, one or the other, no in between). If an anime girl doesn't conform to this body type, she simply isn't hot. And because Japan thinks so, everyone should think so.
2. Eyes and Hair Next most important to no fat chicks, all their eyes must be big, big, BIG. The eyes are like breasts. The
Kingdom Hearts AnalysisIf you've played video games at any point in your life, you've most likely heard of the Kingdom Hearts series at some point or another. Perhaps you've played it yourself. The widely popular action RPG title with a young protagonist and a large metal key. The most noticeable "theme" with this game seems to be the one that involves light versus darkness, ex. good versus evil.Kingdom Hearts Analysis5 years ago in Academic Essays More Like This
However, did you ever think that with such an "epic" theme, the creators could possibly have had, say, deeper intentions for the game? Possibly something a beyond what lies on the surface, something beyond the seemingly overly-cliched plot of a young "chosen one" going around the world (or worlds, in this case) to "save the world" along with the blatantly too-shallow-to-be-metaphorical plotline?
Some would certainly think so.
For starters, one of the most noticeable aspects about Sora's appearance is that he consistently wields a large key. But why a key? Some wield guns, other wield swords, some even wield a
I Used To BeOur toes are making tidal waves in the water, dusk-dazed legs dangling from the pier, as she rests her head on my shoulder. Hair the color of cedar bark, and as fine as spider silk, tickles my chin, as she lifts her cheek.I Used To Be5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
My eyelids, pinned down by fireflies and dying embers, open sleepily, and I scan her body, a slender silhouette against the burning sunset. "I used to be a mermaid." Her lips, the pale pink of a catfish belly, whisper to me, as fingertips brush the white tips of persistent waves.
I can't manage more than a drowsy, "Oh?" captivated by the curve of her back, bent so can whisper to the waves, and the quiet melody she produces with her words.
"Mhmm." It's more of a sigh, dripping with longing, that splashes into the warm water, and caresses our feet. "But they caught me in their nets. I remember the sudden change of current, and the sweeping green mesh that stole me out of my waters. Their wide eyes, and grimy fingers, insistent on poking and prodding my every limb. They
Metroid AnalysisThere are many science fiction games that lurk within the gaming world today. But there will always be one that will have a special place in our hearts. Metroid has sold millions of copies worldwide and made bestselling lists time and again. Yet as popular as these games are, there are still many mysteries and unsolved theories and questions revolving around the series. However, there has been speculation as to the symbolism and depth that lays the groundwork and very basis of the game.Metroid Analysis5 years ago in Academic Essays More Like This
At the beginning of the game, we notice Samus is dropped off alone on an alien world to fend for herself. She is the only human for miles around in an area grossly inhabited by many forms of vicious foreign life. However, despite this absence of life, most prominently human, we still manage to catch glimpses of various statues and ruins of old temples that litter the godforsaken rock of a planet. Often accompanying these ruins and statues are ancient depictions of some sort of religious context on the w
Wii Would Like to PlayLittle Susan B. stood staring at the thing before her in disbelief.Wii Would Like to Play5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
"Fat," she said. "I'm fat?"
"I'm a machine. Machines don't lie."
"But I'm ten."
"Ten and fat."
"But how can you tell? There's gotta be some mistake."
"Okay, kid, listen up. I've got your goddamn height and BMI right here. Right here inside me.
And according to my records, you suck at boxing, you suck at running, your physical age is that of a 48-year-old male and you suck at Brawl."
"Hey, you're being mean!"
"I'm not mean. I'm a machine. Can't take playing with me? If you don't like it then take yourself somewhere else and maybe go and play with the other babies outside in the sandbox. In the sun. With other actual humans. Like a sissy. Go ahead. You're obviously not man enough to play with this."
The Nintendo Wii puffed out his chest as little Susan B. ran away crying to the sandbox.
A short distance away, PS3 and 360 frowned disapprovingly. PS3 sighed.
"Man, I don't know what
The Greatest Fic Ever Part 2When we last left off, our fair, beautiful and sassy heroine was slowly dying of un-attention.The Greatest Fic Ever Part 25 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
A sociopathic murderer was busy eating his daily brains when a strange and mysterious girl went up to him.
"Soylar, hey Soylar," said she. "It is I, that long ago forgotten childhood friend that also had a troubled life and a dead mother. I also fantasize about blood and eating people and had issues at school and we were married in a past life but some Japanese otaku nerd screwed up the time continuum and now you can't remember-"
"Your brains, I shall eat them," said Soylar most wickedly as he attempted to saw open the top of her head with his middle finger. "Your sue powers will be most delici-oh dear GOD. It tastes like someone put plastic covered glittering shit in my mouth. I've eaten over 50 people and none of them are even vaguely resemble this festering camel vomit. Away with you!"
Soylar then flung her away where she then magically landed in space.