CreepyPasta Survival Guide Part 1CreepyPasta Survival GuideCreepyPasta Survival Guide Part 11 year ago in Short Stories More Like This
Hello sweet protagonist. You’re probably reading this because you can’t stop pissing all over yourself because of the monsters in your closet, the demons infesting your house, neighborhood and/or game consol, psychotic serial killers or your just so goddamn paranoid because you’ve read WAY too many creepypastas in the dark and now you want some new tips to protect yourself or avoid creepy shit.
Honestly that last scenario is your own damn fault, but I’ll be nice and help you anyway. Now, before the ghost haunting your brain falls asleep, let’s get started!
1.) Don’t fuck with clowns
2.) Other people’s children are dangerous. Especially if they have black eyes.
3.) If you find something in your possession that you don’t remember having or borrowing, destroy it.
4.) Don’t go out for walks. At night. By yourself. Seriously.
5.) If you see an animal that looks like some kind of mutant rat or giant bear dog or
CreepyPasta Survival Guide Part 236.) Never do anything after 2am.CreepyPasta Survival Guide Part 21 year ago in Short Stories More Like This
37.) Show appreciation toward your local gravekeeper, they’re the ones keeping the undead in their graves, you know.
38.) If you ever find yourself at a cemetery and you hear a bell, look for it. When you find the grave with the bell. Crush the bell.
39.) If a clown gives you candy, don't fucking eat it.
40.) Never trust circus people
41.) If you find a mysterious circus and the ringmaster let's you in for free, don't go in.
42.) Don't buy shit like electronics, dolls, toys and strange looking boxes at yard sales and flea markets. You don't know where they've been.
43.) If you see a blue guy with blue tentacles, there's a 50/50 chance he's a monster guy who will kill you or a super cool voice actor with a sexy voice. If you make the wrong choice on the wrong blue guy, that's on you bitch
44.) Stay clear from scarecrows. Those are scary motherfuckers and if you look at them the wrong way they'll skin you alive
45.) It would be smart to get yo
CytosaurName: Cytosaur (Unit009, AMMO Base 009, Cyborg009, S-9, Subject 009, Bachosaurus)Cytosaur6 years ago in Profiles More Like This
Species: Cyborg Phytosaur
Alignment: Lawful Heroic
AMMO Rating: Potential rating of 7 Threat level of 2
Height: 58 meters(horizontal stance) 85 meters(Upright stance)
Length: 120 meters
Mass: 99,999 tons
Cell Lizard- The octagon shaped scales on the kaiju's sides give him his name, they also give Cytosaur his infamous defense. Infused with a rare form of compound metal named 'Octocytanuim', the interlocking scales might only be on his sides, but the rest of his hide is no less armored. Even the phytosaur's underbelly is covered in small pebble shaped scales that act as chainmail. There is not spot on the massive reptile that is not covered in some form of plated armor. Before he became a cyborg, Cytosaur was a living tank that took on other heavily armored reptiles and won. With his natural shield reinforced acros
Unburial songOld songsUnburial song6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to a new tune
and I keep
:the old refrains:
you overwhelm me.
And I begin again.
Try not to sin again.
to a new moon
I go deep
:the old refrains:
you overwhelm me
late ego trip
We can't live forever,
so let's sin it up together:
:you overwhelm me:
And Nothing Was Okay Anymorewhat if it's not realAnd Nothing Was Okay Anymore6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and we're just
lying to each other?
going through the
and nothing more?
what if you're not
and i'm not
and when we told each
other we were
we were secretly lying to
each other and
now everyone can
what if i just
lied to you because
i'm scared of
and i can feel us
i know we're
but i don't know
how to fix it?
and i don't know
if i want it
what if it's
true and you
read it and don't
say anything about
or what if you
do read it
lie to you
about it (again) ?
what happens then?
what happens if i tell the truth?
and know i don't
want it to.
so i won't share
this with the world
not until i know
for certain that
everything is not okay
Friendly SummoningsFriendly Summonings6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
“Spirit of anger, angel of murder! I summon you to kill this frankfurter!” - Ashley(Golden Raptor, HYPERATIF)
“Iron and flesh, with a beard that isn’t second best! Power of a sun and twice and strange, Green is who I summon to hammer the deranged.” - Green(King Hoopla)
“God of everything and king of nothin! Come forth and avenge the muffin!”- Zooa(Zooasaurs Rex)
“Queen of the night and voice of shale! Appear before me and unleash a blood gale!” -Shaz( Hikariza and too many more to list)
“Source of light and strength of brothers! Burn forth to glomp all others!” -Flare
This One Is About You.Hey,This One Is About You.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I want you.
that's all it would take.
DisconcertThe incision lines are invisible.Disconcert6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I may appear complete,
but there is nowhere within this meat
that truly feels like home.
I wrapped myself in a violin string
tornado in C-sharp,
and I spun and I spun
until the atoms sang.
My smiles are gashes,
my blushes are bruises,
all are permanent
The oncoming dayrush
can be enemy or friend.
I embrace the challenge,
and I lift my scarred chin.
As a human being
you sand your features down,
until the dry rivers
Life is to dream
that you are beyond
the golem mud and bones;
to star against the dark.
As long as the bloodlines burn
I can still play my part.
I still spin and spin,
but I accept and prize the pain.
Five easier piecesIt is easier for meFive easier pieces6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to talk to stray cats
than to my own family.
It is easier for me
to reach outside my reach
and pretend that I tried.
It is easier for me
to live a meaningful life
with no intelligent design.
It is easier for me
to drown my sorrows
than to save them.
It is easier for me
to love every part of you
than any of my own.
Heaps of horsesI wish I was less desperateHeaps of horses6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to be different;
I wish it was more different
to be desperate.
DelphicMy fingers are tornDelphic6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
between the blank page
and your volcano ridges.
I loosen my death grip;
it is not one or the other.
Hunter on the ProwlAshen skinned with blotchy bluesHunter on the Prowl6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Contrasted by red, the deep strong hues
Running down my chin like tears
I come quietly, scream to strike fear
Because I'm not one you can easily hear
Running quick through the night, with an eyeless leer
Crouching in shadows, waiting for those few
Immune to infection... they'll share fate of the others I've slew!
Hack-and-slash, I'll pin you down
Claw at you, helpless on the ground
Leave you in a bloody bath to be found
By those who manage to come around
Sweet success! You're now no more
What's left of you now? Nothing but tore-
Up pieces of bloody human flesh
Again like others, you failed my test
Run away now, scaling a building side
Using the help of a metallic pipeline
I rest on the roof, new blood on my lips
I'm worse than any of those slasher flicks
Beware me, your warning is my growling
Because out there, somewhere, there's a scowling
Beast watching you, anticipating your long horrified howl
Beware, foolish runners: a Hunter's on the prowl
Caught by a SmokerWatching you carefully, dare I try to get close?Caught by a Smoker6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Nay, I don't need to be within your range
You're already in mine, no sense to further delay
I lash at you--be ready to be choked!
You were ignorant; didn't listen for my wheezes and coughs
But now you're the one gagging, dangled like a ragdoll
What's this? You can't call for help? They aren't turning around?
Looks like you're mine now, dying with subtle sounds
Ahh, you've grown limp, poor little survivor
But survive no more; you're dead in this hour
I let you free now--a pity, you're gone
No matter now, your friends have moved on
Bounding the rooftops, following their trail
I'll grab the next fool, see their face turning pale,
From being without air. The idiots don't watch
For the tall guy with a smoke cloud around him in dots
How did they miss me? What's distracting their thoughts?
Why didn't they notice their teammate was caught?
Their intelligence is questionable, especially compared to mine
I don't have to think to know when's the ri
My Brother Is Not GayI've never been very goodMy Brother Is Not Gay6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
at putting on
My brother tried to teach me once;
one strip down the middle
one down the left side
one down the right
He learnt that from his
at the time.
Not TweetingI was hereNot Tweeting6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
those twits were.
Acid, Acid"Pocket full of posiesAcid, Acid5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Ring around the rosies
We all fall down..."
My pretty little smile
Says, "Won't you stay a while?"
I'll use acid, acid
To make you stick around...
But digits on your triggers
Unlike the rings around my fingers
And with acid, acid
I'll make you all fall down...
Burning pretty green goo
Spreads just like the morn dew
It's acid, acid
To make you all slow down...
With pockets full of bottles
And weapons that you coddle
Don't help when acid, acid
Makes you all fall down...
Pretty Spitter's pigtails
Love to dance when she trails
Survivors while her acid, acid
Drips along the ground...
Spitter dear goes bye-bye
Because the bullets flied-flied
And killed her and her acid, acid
Burns her body down...
Love hadron colliderBlacklight beginning.Love hadron collider6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A million light years
between one particle of dust
A slow, tenacious pull
bend to the craving will
of the cosmic unconscious.
At these scales
time stretches thin like spider silk,
of its origami
at an intersection point
along its infinite lines,
two particles romance
and beacon their mutual
New light waves
Dust storms rise,
converge and coalesce,
at their focal point
and turn to billion-year
until they finally generate the heat
of every human body.
The absurd notion
that we were created
from the flaming atoms of this inferno
matters less than you would think.
The important thing
is how unlikely it is
that it could transpire.
We are dust on stellar winds,
set below an artificial horizon.
We can only telescope
has cost us our immediacy.
But we gained
the ability to lo
A Letter.Dear Princess Peach,A Letter.4 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
It's-a me again, your ever-so-faithful plumber, Mario.
I just wanted to tell you that after all the shenanigans you've forced me to go through over the years really isn't worth the money I'm rewarded with anymore. I'm tired of having to go save you time after time from a lousy, lame-ass turtle who can't tell what time of day it is. I'm tired of being forced through fields, seas sometimes outer space! of Koopa's, Goomba's, and other enemies that Bowser-the-lame-turtle sends after me.
I'm tired of being forced into going into castle after castle, fighting Bowser's many siblings; and even Bowser Jr. (How in the world did that kid get conceived?) through every game. Do you know how many 1-Ups and restarts I've been forced to go through just to save your Royal-Pain-in-the-Ass?
Save yourself for once.
Tank is What They ShoutHuge hulking mass of super-human muscleTank is What They Shout6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Grunting and growling like an ape or a bull
You won't survive if we get in a tussle
I'll kill you with ease, you scrawny dumb fools!
Shooting at me like madmen, running all over the streets
Your puny little guns won't hit like a car!
Smacked at you like a toy; with ease from afar
Two of you down at one time, knocked back on the concrete
Other infected run at you, getting in my way
I don't care for their help, I'll smack them away!
Your little team is doomed to die by my fists!
Another four names to be added to the lists!
I run to you incappacitated whimps
Pounding you, beating you, until you grow limp
Your friends are still shooting away, but all in vain
One of you's gone, now I'll end your pain!
Two of them dead at my feet, the others yell and cry,
Out their friends' names, but they're about to die!
They should have run, left them, but no, they had stayed
An idiot's mistake, thinking the hurt could be saved!
Now they run backwards, trying desper
stop the clocka sea of houses comes rolling instop the clock6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
rusty roofs bending
shingles popping like fireworks
(expressing their independence, they die)
while you and I
(nothing more than genetic flotsam, now)
turn our eyes from a shattered-glass snowfall
and dream of the winters of our youth
this will be the end of days
this will be clouds folding into the earth
thunderstorms growling from foxholes
rain tumbling from rivers
as a clumsy conflagration stumbles into our skin
stealing our silhouettes
painting our ghosts on walls
(oh, had only we learned such passive resistance)
as you and I
(only numbers and figures, we know)
truly wear our hearts on our sleeves
when the world turns inside out
when sandcastles swirl into mountains
only to melt and flatten
until the rock has no wrinkles
when flowers shrink into their stems
like amateur stop-animation
when grass stalks and grandchildren
twist ever upward into smoke
and I no longer have any metaphors
for what the world made me love about yo
All that remainsAll that remainsAll that remains6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
for the rest of your life
is keeping skulls and bones
above the ground.
And my eyes hurt
from strobe days
the sun is all flash
All that remains
is to use up your senses
so that you can
learn and forget.
And my heart beats
no sense into me,
my visions of the moon
All that remains
for the rest of your life
is finding the path to
whatever you are the most.
To-Do List: October 200902-10-2009 This is going to take some getting used to...To-Do List: October 20096 years ago in Biography & Memoir More Like This
03-10-2009 It's a little church, hidden among the houses
03-10-2009 Waif like strangers in the garden
03-10-2009 Doomed to a life of wearing pants
04-10-2009 Rejecting nice boys for my own mental health
05-10-2009 Stop flirting with the seventeen year old now!
08-10-2009 First flies of summer
08-10-2009 Wow, you've turned from 'my friend' to 'i know a girl' and i almost didn't notice
09-10-2009 She has an irrational fear of iPhones
09-10-2009 Shampooing the oval
11-10-2009 She thinks she might want to become a minister one day
13-10-2009 It's not real life because it's not over
13-10-2009 Can totally see herself becoming a violent alcoholic if she let herself
16-10-2009 It's frustrating and upsetting how much i still miss you
18-10-2009 We will all wear watercolours as we fall
18-10-2009 Irregular sex
18-10-2009 Has excuses but doesn't need them
19-10-2009 At least you know when she's coming back
19-10-2009 Asking the hard questi