Save Twilight? Why not?Ways to save Twilight or Why I should never write books!"Save Twilight? Why not?4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
It is hard to deny that the civilized world is split in three groups right now. People who love Twilight, people who hate it and people who had the luck of avoiding it. I have never seen a phenomenon that makes people turn to extremes more, than Stephenie Meyer´s emo porn.
But as a man of art, I think that with just a few tweaks, this series could have been awesome! Not "good", but awesome!
To Quote the Spoony one: In the same kind that a movie with Bruce Campell is never "good" or an artistic achievement, but AWESOME!
Here are my ideas:
"Edward isn´t real!" (Psycho-drama)
Bella Swan has always been a little different from the other kids. Her behavior, fueled by her mother's co-dependency and the lack of a father figure did bad things to her psyche. Leaving her mother and moving in with her father was the last straw. Scared of a strong and self-dependant being, her brain created "Edward". The perfect man for her. She inser
Abe writes to SMeyer....My dearest Stephanie Meyer,Abe writes to SMeyer....5 years ago in Letters More Like This
I know upon receiving this letter your first reaction will be to disregard it as some kind of joke. I assure you, however, the return address you see scrawled on the back of this envelope is very real, and so am I for quite some time, actually, despite what your history books may say.
But I digress; my existence is hardly the matter I wish to discuss with you. Does the name "Twilight" ring a bell? I should hope so. For that is the topic of the following letter.
I must admit, when I first heard about this series, I felt only a mild twinge of irritation: Just another vampire romance novel, I thought-full of inaccuracies and dark, brooding anti-heroes. While I could go on and on with my quibbles about any sort of romance with a vampire, your "Twilight" particularly caught my attention.
I'll be frank with you, Mrs. Meyer: it was the most inaccurate interpretation of vampi
Twilight- Isn't it AwesomeTwilight- Isn’t it AwesomeTwilight- Isn't it Awesome5 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
- An innocent, seventeen-year-old Mary Sue girl named Bella shows up in a perpetually rainy town (in America, not England.)
-She discovers that the inhabitants of this town are so desperate for a distraction from the repetitiveness of their boring little lives that they all immediately become obsessed with her and her magically pale skin.
- (She pretends this annoys her, but we know differently, eh?)
-Bella, our completely selfless and humble heroine, thinks herself superior to everyone in this damn town, describing them as boring, dim and clueless about the OUTSIDE WORLD.
- (It’s a scary place, apparently.)
-Bella then proceeds to fall deeply and inexplicably in love with some guy called Edward, despite everyone telling her to get over herself (and, I don’t know, possibly him) and the frequent death glares from his general direction.
-Bella then comes to the obvious conclusion that he’s a vampire.
- (This wonderful vampire admits to s
New Moon: The best book ever?New Moon- The best book ever?New Moon: The best book ever?5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
-So, our lovely Bella picks up the story by realizing the true horror of her situation: SHE’S GONNA GET OLDER. -shockhorror-
-Edward ignores her wishes for a crappy boring birthday and takes her to his crappy boring family get-together instead. So uncharacteristic of him to disregard what she wants.
-Bella get hurls into a piano and through a glass table and gets a cut that a few vamps react a little badly to, and then Super Vamp Doc heals it and everything’s fine.
-Oops, wait, half of the Cult_ Cullens ran off.
-Bella remains happily oblivious to her group of only friends disappearing.
- (She’s successfully shunned her actual human friends who like her for more than her… blood.)
-Edward destroys Bella’s magical world and ditches her in a dark forest in the middle of the night.
-But hey, his eyes look like melted gold. It’s all good.
-A few towns throw parties over the Cult_ Cullens leaving.
-Since the book is from Bella
Twilight: Bane of LiteratureTwilight: The Death of Literature?Twilight: Bane of Literature5 years ago in Academic Essays More Like This
The summer of 2008 marked the start of the Big Twilight Boom; a year of Twilight hysteria which made rabid fan girls out of young teenage girls with low self-esteem, soccer moms, and the occasional male that is actually in touch with their sensitive side. While the series has certainly gained a gargantuan fan base, it has also left a number of sensible and literary people wondering "why?" As Ninochka Grayson says, "On the surface, these books might appear to be predictable versions of a princess fairy tale, however; digging into their dark underworld, where vampires and shape shifters reside, there are universal human elements that make Twilight immortally good literature" (Is Twilight ). Now, Twilight has certainly succeeded in which its previous multi-million predecessor Harry Potter has, in getting the next generation of teenagers to read and keep reading. Other than that, that's
How to Be Like Edward Cullen How many times have you said or heard someone say in desperation, If only all males could be just like Edward Cullen! or in confusion, What is with Edward Cullen? How can we possibly meet these expectations?!? Well, folks, out of the kindness of my heart I would like to provide a comprehensive explanation on on how to be just like Edward Cullen, to make everyones lives easier.How to Be Like Edward Cullen5 years ago in Academic Essays More Like This
1. Skin must be deathly pale, resembling that of a cadavers. The best way to achieve this complexion is to spend about six months hibernating in a windowless basement. This may require you to quit your job. And do not fret over your inability to go to the grocery store; Cullen fans find consumption of food undesirable.
2. Dark circles under the eyes are essential. The quickest way to attain these black rings is to go without sleep for days on end. Sure, the lack of slumber may upset your emotional stability, but that will only