dark spacesdark spaces8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
We quarreled it away all those
muggy summer nights when the reflections
of train lights blazed in the river. Hours
after the fact we bit our lips until they were
white under our teeth –
we tried too late to
catch those words up in between our sheets;
we were frantic with it but I think we knew
even then that they were tacked to the sky
with the stars.
It is gone.
Now I will hold the sheets to your
lips when you try to speak. I will shut my eyes
to the dark spaces between the stars. Safely
encased in our closed drapes and covers, I will
lie awake at night to study your silhouette. In
the shadows that linger between us I will find
the barest hint of silver-blue moonlight tracing
the curve from your neck to your shoulder and
press my lips against it.
I will love it above any other part of you.
A Legal MatterPack away the things,A Legal Matter5 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
The made-up crib, and the teething rings.
They'll never be used,
Never played in, or abused.
Bonnets and socks,
A bottle and block.
And that new feeding chair?
Toss it over there.
A blue ribbon rests on the tiny tombstone,
Of a baby bird that had never flown.
duality.Wax was your lips on a winter evening.duality.6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And the dares of a paperback novel flooded my basement,
(there was no air in the sky and every movement
lead to a cryptic mess of unfortunate silence).
Large words that peppered your mouths corners
sliced my heart, and you stole me again.
(then there was a small crack in the wall
when you touched the earths eyes and she smiled).
Little specks of blood-washed daises fell.
And i knew that it was your heart that bled.
(the alleys were all grey with betrayal
and the night crawlers kept a hold on your eulogy).
Hand made books of black ink and early morning drawings
is where my words were housed, you left them unheard.
(still, there was no air surrounding the sky, tattooed
children of paper and porcelain remained shattered from nights past).
A ball of twine was given as a undescribable gift,
from your swamp hands of green and yellow;
(and this is where the wind is mellowed by shallow seconds,
and the macabre of love omits you as mine.)
boyhood longingthe longing of a boy beforeboyhood longing5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
he knew what longing was
and what it was
he would be longing for
the face the eyes
he tries commit
before she flies to history
from our december
last little bits of longing -
llp - oct'09 - dA
A Fragile Door Between UsA Fragile Door Between Us5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I can hear my man breathe in the next room. He is digesting his daily dose of Jack, and I've taken the opportunity to lock myself into the bedroom. The door won't hold if he sets his mind to opening it, but it still gives me some sense of security. Why, I can't say. I lean myself to it and press my ear against it. I can hear him muttering under his breath, occasionally raising his voice in curses. Then there is a shattering sound, as if something has been thrown across the room. Glass.
It is my job to clean up after him. It has been for nearly three years now. I always try to make myself invisible while I pick up the broken dishes from the floor or wash the liquor from the carpet. If I don't make any sound, it decreases the risk of him hurting me. Somewhat.
Look at what he is doing to you! My friend's words echo in my ear. I don't know why I don't ever listen. I should. I really should.
I sit down on the bed and flinch from t
Cut out to killMan was not cut out to kill,Cut out to kill5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
not meant to murder.
You must be remade.
Cut out to
trimming off what stands out.
It will not do to get caught
on the barbs of conscience when
you need to choose when
you've got orders when
you're pressed when
you're afraid and
you know you wont get away,
by choosing not to choose.
A moments hesitation,
and he will
And when the choice is made,
when one is torn
and another one ripped to shreds
will there be anything left
but paper cuttings,
and another blood red mark
in the margin?
Soul of the StormSoul of the StormSoul of the Storm7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It builds and throbs inside until theres no more room
Energy raises the hairs on my skin
I feel chaotic and restless and I cannot hold still
I run into the rain and I dont feel the cold
Flashes of lightening announce the thunder
And I want more
I hear my name in the wind and I follow
I get lost in the storm, but I am protected
I am home, I am returned to my element
And I cannot leave
The rush, the danger, the power
It is what my soul is made of
And I cannot deny it
The thunder growls and the wind howls
Like wolves in the night
All take shelter but me
Primal ecstasy surrounds me
It pulses with my heart and I am alive again
The storm is alive with me
It has emotion and feeling and thought
And I can hear it speak
I take it all in
The power, the passion, the whirling out of control madness
Destruction and creation, life and death
All in the soul of the storm
gold is in the eyethe look of you bringsgold is in the eye5 years ago in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
stronger that inner rhythm
we cannot explain
and, what seemed imperfection
as perfection, now appears
llp - oct'09 - dA
you neverdarkness falls like shattered glassyou never5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and lights are swaying,
distant tail lights
like dreaming dancers across the grass.
all the sounds are sad like midnight air
in my lungs, on my tongue,
in the desert there.
we're stepping silent down the road,
asphalt cold under our toes,
a thousand eyes up in the sky-
we're being watched, and
that's how you feel when there's
oh, i just want to pretend
there's no such thing as friendly fires,
you're lips are liars.
every time i fold my hands
the creases cut deeper in
until my skin suffocates my bones
and they gasp in harmony.
it's so hard to lose you now,
when i know now that i have lost.
how could i have thought that
this was just an easy win?
how could i have thought
you wanted in?
i was so sure i would be
pain-free. now i'm hurting myself.
how could i?
Childhoodspressing my hands to the corridorsChildhoods5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
lost in a world of chalk lines
and hopscotch floors
we press our lips to our lifelines and whisper
I feel so small, so small
the trees move to touch my shadow
under dusk skies
we're joined in holy matrimony
in darkness and hushed light
headlights stream bright gold into my eyes
and tomorrow I know I'll feel alive
in your hands I feel so fragile
and so small, so small
I lie beneath clocks the size of my body
and they swallow me whole
stepping back I find curves beneath my clothes
and I am amorphous, I unexist without a soul
I cry for yesterdays and blue memories
as the clock whispers twelve
I held lucid dreams and wished on falling stars
breathing secrets to vapour windows
and tracing gospels in the dew
small deaths fill my lungs as I think of you
I drip soundlessly into another day
restless skin blushed with sun-kissed hues
and I was so small, so small
I Wish For, Long for longingI lie like a deadened thingI Wish For, Long for longing5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
in the psychiatric ward.
out of sight
out of mind.
Alternatives to Self-InjuryThese are some basic alternatives to self-harm:Alternatives to Self-Injury5 years ago in Articles & Interviews More Like This
1. Rubber Bands: Okay I know some people may still see this as self-harm, but using a rubber band is much less damaging than cutting or other such things.
2. Cranking up music: Whether is angry, emo, country, pop, techno, whatever, blasting music can be used as an outlet for one's emotions. Experiment and find out what works for you; it may not even necessarily be your favorite genre of music.
3. Pillows/Stuffed Animals: This was suggested to me by a friend. It may feel odd or a little childish, but clinging to a stuffed animal or wrapping one's arms tightly around a pillow can bring a sense of comfort. I was also told to try transferring all of my emotions into it. Believe me, this one works.
4. Square Breathing: Yet another tip I got from a friend. Close your eyes, wrap your arms around yourself if you have to and breathe. Count in to four slowly, hold your breath for the
ExaminedThe training nurses comeExamined5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to interview and examine us
and I feel like a dissected frog
red, raw flesh
as they mark me off a checklist
Come, NightCome, NightCome, Night7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The sun sat like rusted glass over her eyes
The beauty of it shunned her
She sat in disgrace- another disappointment
As the violet hues mulled and faded, she thought-
My day has ended, too.
Breathe deep; rest your eyes forever
Forgive the day and enter the night
Waits for the dawn
Waits for evening
For the night
She waits for the cold to embrace her.
The violet is now black- the day is done
Come, Night, where none will see her pain.
expanding circleI.expanding circle5 years ago in Open More Like This
from the singularity,
born the quantum tsunami.
never ending waves persist
in the expanding circle of evolution.
in everything, in everyone,
it was i. now, it is us.
it overtakes our attention,
to surge forward with intention.
to the tipping point,
to the sea change,
as virally we learn,
the circle grows.
and resolve more confidence.
at long last our progress.
to guide final ocean swells.
life by peaceful waters.
we shall know,
in calm or storm,
if we... are soon enough.
llp - oct'09 - dA
Rotting SkinRotting skinRotting Skin6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the beauty within
With the sweet scent of decay
It's that rancid smell
on which I dwell
Underneath the rotting flesh,maggots crawl
and I love it all
the beauty within
Your flesh rots away
The skin on your fingertips begins to fray
You're decomposing bit by bit
I adore it
The way it reaks
is so sickly sweet
the beauty within
The smell of death,the smell of decay
I like you that way
CracksI can't stop you beating on my doorCracks5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I can't stop you bleeding anymore
I know you would lay down on the floor
To stop me beating down your door
Forget all the images I saw
All of the blood, and guts, and gore
No, I don't want them anymore
I want to flee from what you saw
I know you take, this fragile mind
In frantic search, of your own kind
Hunting and preying, until you find
These tiny cracks, this fractured mind
Dear DiaryDear Diary;Dear Diary5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Today was just the same as yesterday.
The teenage girl scribbled in her ragged notebook that served as her diary/vent notebook. For the past several weeks that's all she had written for each day. Nothing ever changed, nothing got better.
Today was worse.
She couldn't bring herself to write down all the horrors of her day, so instead, she cried into her diary staining the page with teardrops.
Today was just as bad, if not worse then yesterday.
She closed her diary and cried. Was it ever going to get better?
I just want to die...
She wrote in small letters, hoping that no one would ever read her secret wish.
I want to kill myself.
Writing it felt right. Finally, she had an answer to escape everything.
I'm going to kill myself. But first I'm going to give life one more day to get better.
Satisfied she closed the book and went to sleep.
This will be my last entry. Life isn't getting better.
She held back a
Anorexia NervosaToo afraid to eatAnorexia Nervosa5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
or to gain any weight.
Too lost in the dream to
notice death is imminent.
Too teary-eyed to see what
the mirror has to show.
Too numb to realize that bones
are still freezing under clothes.
Too meager to care that
hair is falling to ground.
But too isolated to receive any help.
Good NightLet me finish off this dayGood Night5 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
By letting me say
You, mean the world to me
But it's impossible for you to see
The difference you've made in me within
Putting my whole world on a spin
Giving me feeling beyond explanation
Giving me a wondrous feeling full of sensation
But for now, I'll simply say Good Night
And let you know, in your dreams I'll hug you tight!
I Loved You Once ValentineI Loved You Once Valentine5 years ago in Visual & Found Poetry More Like This
I Loved You Once
I loved you once we both promised to be together.
But that was the lie you thought i never saw but i did.
You thought i would turn a blind eye but i could not.
You broke my heart for a guy who was scum.
I no longer feel anything for you you came back one month later.
You beg and cry for me to let you in but i kept the door closed.
You broke my heart you came back in tears now it is you who has the broken heart.
You who break the heart of men you who made my mask stronger.
Well now you know now don't you that when you toy with a fragile thing like a heart
All that is left is sadness hate and a need for revenge so i hope you know becasue
You shattered my heart that day i found my true love and once again i promised to
Love her now you are alone and scared you now know how all the men whose heart you broke
Feel i won't turn around to look at you now i will only look at the women who fixed
My heart and gave my joy to love another once more all i can say to you now is
HannahThey hold her downHannah5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and force sedation with a drink.
"Swallow" is their mantra,
a hollow injection while she screams
a black touch
while the nurses cluck their tongues
and take her away.