dark spacesdark spaces8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
We quarreled it away all those
muggy summer nights when the reflections
of train lights blazed in the river. Hours
after the fact we bit our lips until they were
white under our teeth –
we tried too late to
catch those words up in between our sheets;
we were frantic with it but I think we knew
even then that they were tacked to the sky
with the stars.
It is gone.
Now I will hold the sheets to your
lips when you try to speak. I will shut my eyes
to the dark spaces between the stars. Safely
encased in our closed drapes and covers, I will
lie awake at night to study your silhouette. In
the shadows that linger between us I will find
the barest hint of silver-blue moonlight tracing
the curve from your neck to your shoulder and
press my lips against it.
I will love it above any other part of you.
A Legal MatterPack away the things,A Legal Matter4 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
The made-up crib, and the teething rings.
They'll never be used,
Never played in, or abused.
Bonnets and socks,
A bottle and block.
And that new feeding chair?
Toss it over there.
A blue ribbon rests on the tiny tombstone,
Of a baby bird that had never flown.
boyhood longingthe longing of a boy beforeboyhood longing5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
he knew what longing was
and what it was
he would be longing for
the face the eyes
he tries commit
before she flies to history
from our december
last little bits of longing -
llp - oct'09 - dA
duality.Wax was your lips on a winter evening.duality.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
And the dares of a paperback novel flooded my basement,
(there was no air in the sky and every movement
lead to a cryptic mess of unfortunate silence).
Large words that peppered your mouths corners
sliced my heart, and you stole me again.
(then there was a small crack in the wall
when you touched the earths eyes and she smiled).
Little specks of blood-washed daises fell.
And i knew that it was your heart that bled.
(the alleys were all grey with betrayal
and the night crawlers kept a hold on your eulogy).
Hand made books of black ink and early morning drawings
is where my words were housed, you left them unheard.
(still, there was no air surrounding the sky, tattooed
children of paper and porcelain remained shattered from nights past).
A ball of twine was given as a undescribable gift,
from your swamp hands of green and yellow;
(and this is where the wind is mellowed by shallow seconds,
and the macabre of love omits you as mine.)
you neverdarkness falls like shattered glassyou never4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and lights are swaying,
distant tail lights
like dreaming dancers across the grass.
all the sounds are sad like midnight air
in my lungs, on my tongue,
in the desert there.
we're stepping silent down the road,
asphalt cold under our toes,
a thousand eyes up in the sky-
we're being watched, and
that's how you feel when there's
oh, i just want to pretend
there's no such thing as friendly fires,
you're lips are liars.
every time i fold my hands
the creases cut deeper in
until my skin suffocates my bones
and they gasp in harmony.
it's so hard to lose you now,
when i know now that i have lost.
how could i have thought that
this was just an easy win?
how could i have thought
you wanted in?
i was so sure i would be
pain-free. now i'm hurting myself.
how could i?
gold is in the eyethe look of you bringsgold is in the eye5 years ago in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
stronger that inner rhythm
we cannot explain
and, what seemed imperfection
as perfection, now appears
llp - oct'09 - dA
Soul of the StormSoul of the StormSoul of the Storm6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It builds and throbs inside until theres no more room
Energy raises the hairs on my skin
I feel chaotic and restless and I cannot hold still
I run into the rain and I dont feel the cold
Flashes of lightening announce the thunder
And I want more
I hear my name in the wind and I follow
I get lost in the storm, but I am protected
I am home, I am returned to my element
And I cannot leave
The rush, the danger, the power
It is what my soul is made of
And I cannot deny it
The thunder growls and the wind howls
Like wolves in the night
All take shelter but me
Primal ecstasy surrounds me
It pulses with my heart and I am alive again
The storm is alive with me
It has emotion and feeling and thought
And I can hear it speak
I take it all in
The power, the passion, the whirling out of control madness
Destruction and creation, life and death
All in the soul of the storm
Cut out to killMan was not cut out to kill,Cut out to kill5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
not meant to murder.
You must be remade.
Cut out to
trimming off what stands out.
It will not do to get caught
on the barbs of conscience when
you need to choose when
you've got orders when
you're pressed when
you're afraid and
you know you wont get away,
by choosing not to choose.
A moments hesitation,
and he will
And when the choice is made,
when one is torn
and another one ripped to shreds
will there be anything left
but paper cuttings,
and another blood red mark
in the margin?
expanding circleI.expanding circle5 years ago in Open More Like This
from the singularity,
born the quantum tsunami.
never ending waves persist
in the expanding circle of evolution.
in everything, in everyone,
it was i. now, it is us.
it overtakes our attention,
to surge forward with intention.
to the tipping point,
to the sea change,
as virally we learn,
the circle grows.
and resolve more confidence.
at long last our progress.
to guide final ocean swells.
life by peaceful waters.
we shall know,
in calm or storm,
if we... are soon enough.
llp - oct'09 - dA
Come, NightCome, NightCome, Night6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The sun sat like rusted glass over her eyes
The beauty of it shunned her
She sat in disgrace- another disappointment
As the violet hues mulled and faded, she thought-
My day has ended, too.
Breathe deep; rest your eyes forever
Forgive the day and enter the night
Waits for the dawn
Waits for evening
For the night
She waits for the cold to embrace her.
The violet is now black- the day is done
Come, Night, where none will see her pain.
A Fragile Door Between UsA Fragile Door Between Us5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I can hear my man breathe in the next room. He is digesting his daily dose of Jack, and I've taken the opportunity to lock myself into the bedroom. The door won't hold if he sets his mind to opening it, but it still gives me some sense of security. Why, I can't say. I lean myself to it and press my ear against it. I can hear him muttering under his breath, occasionally raising his voice in curses. Then there is a shattering sound, as if something has been thrown across the room. Glass.
It is my job to clean up after him. It has been for nearly three years now. I always try to make myself invisible while I pick up the broken dishes from the floor or wash the liquor from the carpet. If I don't make any sound, it decreases the risk of him hurting me. Somewhat.
Look at what he is doing to you! My friend's words echo in my ear. I don't know why I don't ever listen. I should. I really should.
I sit down on the bed and flinch from t
Alternatives to Self-InjuryThese are some basic alternatives to self-harm:Alternatives to Self-Injury5 years ago in Articles & Interviews More Like This
1. Rubber Bands: Okay I know some people may still see this as self-harm, but using a rubber band is much less damaging than cutting or other such things.
2. Cranking up music: Whether is angry, emo, country, pop, techno, whatever, blasting music can be used as an outlet for one's emotions. Experiment and find out what works for you; it may not even necessarily be your favorite genre of music.
3. Pillows/Stuffed Animals: This was suggested to me by a friend. It may feel odd or a little childish, but clinging to a stuffed animal or wrapping one's arms tightly around a pillow can bring a sense of comfort. I was also told to try transferring all of my emotions into it. Believe me, this one works.
4. Square Breathing: Yet another tip I got from a friend. Close your eyes, wrap your arms around yourself if you have to and breathe. Count in to four slowly, hold your breath for the
I Wish For, Long for longingI lie like a deadened thingI Wish For, Long for longing4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
in the psychiatric ward.
out of sight
out of mind.
Childhoodspressing my hands to the corridorsChildhoods4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
lost in a world of chalk lines
and hopscotch floors
we press our lips to our lifelines and whisper
I feel so small, so small
the trees move to touch my shadow
under dusk skies
we're joined in holy matrimony
in darkness and hushed light
headlights stream bright gold into my eyes
and tomorrow I know I'll feel alive
in your hands I feel so fragile
and so small, so small
I lie beneath clocks the size of my body
and they swallow me whole
stepping back I find curves beneath my clothes
and I am amorphous, I unexist without a soul
I cry for yesterdays and blue memories
as the clock whispers twelve
I held lucid dreams and wished on falling stars
breathing secrets to vapour windows
and tracing gospels in the dew
small deaths fill my lungs as I think of you
I drip soundlessly into another day
restless skin blushed with sun-kissed hues
and I was so small, so small
When I Was Little....Warmth and loveWhen I Was Little....4 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Health and happiness
Never shared you see
Insecurity, embedded into me
Wore me down
And claimed my
Loved me not
I saw your duplicity
Took my heart
Took my faith, now
Loves locked away my heart is too brittle, from
Everything that passed when I was little
Living and Dying and...Living and Dying and Time Going ByLiving and Dying and...6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The child dances on the grave of winter
Where she steps flowers sprout
The tombstone is grey and weathered, but new
It is not inscribed
The child laughs because she doesnt know
That an old woman is digging her grave
She will play and sing
And life will bloom
She will grow strong
She will blaze and live
And the world will thrive
But the old woman keeps digging
She is pale and withered and wise
Digging day and night
She knows what we barely understand
A cold wind blows and the child screams
She fights the cold best she can
But her night comes and she must lie down
Her grave is shallow and hard
But inevitable, and she finally goes silently
The crone throws dirt on the grave
But she says nothing
She turns her hollow eyes to a mother
Who walks from the fields
To feed her children
That can only consume
And while she walks
The crone digs again
She sees this and knows there is wisdom behind it
But she doesnt understand in full
And when the wind is
IanDrops of bloodIan4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
the soft fall
as they mark his skin
an inky black.
When he smiles,
the jagged lips
of his throat smile gospel secrets too
that only the half-living and the dead know.
For You.Dedicated to the one who still sings the song in my heart.For You.4 years ago in Emotional More Like This
I hate the way the sound of your voice still echoes in my thoughts, my mind pleading to recall the gentle tone.
I hate the way you promised me so much, gave me true happiness, but in the end abandoned me like all the rest.
I hate the way I still think longingly of your gentle eyes, desperate to gaze into them once again, to hold you in my arms.
I hate the way I adore your smile, still etched into my memories, desperate, fleeting thoughts of you, turning me into a ghost of my former self.
I hate the way I long to touch your hair, and feel it's delicate softness upon my fingertips as I lovingly hold you close.
I hate how you're so damned beautiful to me, how you've destroyed the memory of what love was for me, yet made me feel so strongly for you at the same time.
I hate how I can't forget you, how the thought of your embrace is nothing but a painful daydream, something I can never reach.
I hate how I'm not good enough for
CracksI can't stop you beating on my doorCracks4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I can't stop you bleeding anymore
I know you would lay down on the floor
To stop me beating down your door
Forget all the images I saw
All of the blood, and guts, and gore
No, I don't want them anymore
I want to flee from what you saw
I know you take, this fragile mind
In frantic search, of your own kind
Hunting and preying, until you find
These tiny cracks, this fractured mind
Just Beneath the SkinKiraJust Beneath the Skin4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I pick my head up and look around. No one had said anything yet I still hear the voice.
My head snaps up again. No one. I clench my eyes shut tight. Please don't let this be happening again.
You won't be ignoring me anymore Kira. You never could. It wasn't you not paying attention. It was all me. Leading you into a false sense of security.
'Leave me alone....'
NOPE. You're not going to ignore me this time.
'Just go away. You're not real...'
Hell i'm not! I'm just as real as you are. I'm talking arn't I?
'That doesn't mean anything.'
You're so stupid. You don't understand anything. I'm NEVER going to leave you alone.
I freeze and cover my ears. 'Please no, not the snakes.' I'm not afraid of snakes. But the snakes that twist inside my head scare me more than anything.
See? You need to be shown your place. You're worthless. A nothing.
'No! Please! Get out of my head!'
Alice Anna's LieBlood flowing and sweat drips,Alice Anna's Lie4 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Taste your deceit,
As bitterness stains my lips.
Lie to me and kiss me once more,
Ignore love's cruelty,
As I slip into arms I adore.
Have I really betrayed myself,
Denied all of my faults,
As you made my heart melt?
I guess I must have been blind,
Your love fiction,
Seemed true, but simply a lie.
Wake from this perfect nightmare,
This last false apology,
Farewell to illusions of love's despair.
Good NightLet me finish off this dayGood Night4 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
By letting me say
You, mean the world to me
But it's impossible for you to see
The difference you've made in me within
Putting my whole world on a spin
Giving me feeling beyond explanation
Giving me a wondrous feeling full of sensation
But for now, I'll simply say Good Night
And let you know, in your dreams I'll hug you tight!