permanence.Permanence,permanence.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
or the reason I haven't stopped loving you yet.
Because I've never wanted to. Because
dementia runs in the family,
and I will forget everything, even
the sound of my own voice. My children
and their children, warm or disinterested
strangers who speak too loudly and
point to photographs of people
I may have lived with or seen
in a movie once. They'll call me mother,
or Stephanie, say other names
I won't recognise, and none of it
will mean a thing. But if I love you,
if for sixty years I love you,
then I will remember that.
Of leaving pieces.Understand this: that love is a religionOf leaving pieces.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
of birds, of restlessness, of flight.
Of moving somewhere warmer when the cold sets in,
of longing, of leaving, of being
the one left behind, of feathers,
of an empty nest in the heart of winter,
nestled in some firm elbow of brittle branches
that stopped reaching for the sky when the last
leaf fell, bleak against a landscape of
blacks and whites and greys save for one
little piece of red string,
tucked lovingly among the twigs,
so dutifully gathered, piece by piece,
by a creature who had seen winters before,
but made a home for himself here anyway.
heartbeats like thunder.If you understand lonelinessheartbeats like thunder.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you remember the night you could have crawled
into his chest, made a bed for yourself like an animal
beside his heart. You remember the heat of the word inside,
and the sudden unfairness that he could be inside of you
when you were the one who needed to be that close,
when you were the one who needed that relief.
If you understand hunger
you remember the way you touched his body carefully, this home
you built for yourself with unsteady hands, counted
the spaces between his ribs, pressed your cheek
against them, listened for his breathing like a storm
outside your window. You remember the fierce violence
of your want, the impossibility.
If you understand need
you remember the night you thought you'd die
Shattering.A woman says take me home and you are struckShattering.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
by the fear that you will not know how to touch her right, that you
have unwittingly made it this far without her knowing that
this was not supposed to be your life, a life your father
does not speak of and your mother doesn't understand, her eyes
heavy and sad. This is the kind of life that the dishes
will be the undoing of, a glass handled carelessly one day will
break in your hands and that will be the thing you finally
can't handle, your body crumpling against the sink, the weight
of your mother's sadness, the bitter emptiness of your father's
goodbye on the phone, your last trace of him, sterile and distant,
the endless ringing of every attempt after, the acrid taste of
the day you stopped calling, the despair, this life was never
what you wanted.
A woman says take me home and you say yes,
because how could you not?
to yell to dance to grow...one day I will tell my son to look for loveto yell to dance to grow...6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
like a drowning man, to fill his lungs with it. I will
raise him with gentle hands and teach him to touch
a woman or a man with his fingertips. I will
tell my son to cry when he feels like crying and laugh
when he feels like laughing and sing out loud
when he feels the voice of God in his chest.
I will teach him to be unashamed
of his body or his thoughts, to spend days naked
with himself and his dreams, the proper way to throw
a punch and when to walk away. I will tell him
to get dirty, that every human being will spend
at least one night on their knees, value of
humility and of sore muscles. I will teach him to love,
above all other things to love,
to love and love and love until his body aches
with the quivering tension of
holding it all in and I will tell him that second to this,
the strongest thing he will ever do is look into the breaking point
and let go.
The things I've found:The beauty of realising that thisThe things I've found:5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
is not a love I fell headlong into at the height of day,
but rather shuffled towards sometime after dawn,
slumped down next to at the kitchen table,
bleary-eyed, mumbled at through coffee and sat, slowly,
quietly, companionably waking up to.
And that this, too, is good.
When I See You09/01/09When I See You5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Every time I see you,
My heart feels like a torn paper wing.
Not that I want to,
But it's always so unexpected for me not to.
I try to deny the feeling at first,
To walk the days waiting for more.
Imagining the cute puffiness of your eyes,
Tasting the happiness in your smile.
But soon I realized you've never broken my wings,
And that feeling is more beautiful than all the beautiful things...
So I know I will never have enough,
Of simply seeing you again and again.
I haven't writtenI haven't written about you. Or the sun in Quito, kind of like the sun here: sometimes yellow-morning; sometimes dim and blurry inside clouds; sometimes absent as I have been from Santo Domingo.I haven't written7 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Oh, I haven't written you into sentences that say 'missing.' That say it with a bird's tender voice resting on the Esmeralda sand; or warm footsteps upon streets on the way to a room with books.
I just haven't, you see. And today I will not write either. Either write you into sentences or sentence myself to write about you even in one word. What word? Indeed!
I almost could, though. I almost thought that I did - carving longing into letters that form poems, one and one and one upon another - but you left again so soon, and I just haven't written about you.
Thank You, Slater.Listen:Thank You, Slater.7 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I used to go to the nearby campus coffee shop in the early evenings, armed with a pen, a blank notebook, and writer's block. The sense of loneliness was unspoken but well accounted for.
I always shared coffee-counterspace with the same boy, who never smiled or talked and who had a penchant for bedhead and argyle sweaters. He liked to lean back on his stool, balancing precariously as he read novels, and I liked to pretend I wasn't watching him watch me. We coexisted in quiet companionship, thrived quietly under fluorescent lighting which sometimes caught his thick-framed glasses.
His novels changed while my notebook remained the same; his dogeared copies of The sound and the Fury and Animal Farm distracted me as I doodled stars on blank pages, waiting for something that could not be explained.
It was raining. I remember that. His glasses fogged up when he walked in, his tousled black hair dripped water on my elbow.
"Why don't you ever write in your notebook
ForeverForever6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I believe in memories,
Unshattered dreams made real.
I treasure everything you did,
For me, with a passion aflame.
Little things always reminds me,
Of just how much you love me.
And there's just enough light,
For me to see that you are the one.
Being SillyI had a dream that I was going to see you,Being Silly5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That I missed you so much I couldn't wait anymore.
But suddenly I was a giant and all the cars were too big for me to ride in...
So I started jogging on the highway because I couldn't wait anymore.
I think I had a thousand miles to go and the sun was just coming up the horizon.
So I finally found a truck that could carry me and rode on the roof.
I remember all the grass turning green in the winter,
And flowers grew along the highway like spring,
Then I was dropped in the middle of the city,
And I couldn't recognize the street at all.
When I took the taxi, I realized I brought nothing with me.
A bag pack of a change of clothing,
And money I was willing to spent all to see for myself that you are okay.
Streets whirled by filled with people like a spring fair,
And I saw a lot of people I didn't want to see,
Because you were the only one I wanted to see.
The taxi had a navigation system,
But even that couldn't seem to find any streets I kn
A Touch of Understanding06/27/07A Touch of Understanding7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The shine is still there,
As I look into your eyes today.
But I feel only uncertainty
When I see the reflection of sorrow.
Yet you still smiled at me,
With such beauty and warmth that never fail to dazzle me.
But shattered when our hands touched ever so slightly.
It's okay, I understand.
The anguish of love,
The uncertainty of life,
Fleeting, are the memories.
And moments like now,
When a touch is all we need,
To know and understand each other so well.
I love you more06/21/09I love you more5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I can't tell you where I live anymore,
To hear your voice or touch the love of my world.
The winds feels so lonely,
Like how I used to tell you I'm okay,
And that I just miss you a little bit,
At least the little bit I am willing to admit.
I miss being able to kiss you,
The gentle true way you always kisses me...
The way you always say you love me more,
And I'd wish so hard secretly inside that you are true.
The Lucky Prisoner of Warmth02/09/08The Lucky Prisoner of Warmth7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I wonder if you could feel,
The invisible scent of me around you.
I wonder if you could imagine,
My arms and my body wrapping around you.
Your note teases me to no end,
As I read that you are sleeping with my jacket tonight.
The one that I forget to ask back for one night,
The lucky prisoner of warmth for one night.
losing the human parts.tremble the sky until it shatterslosing the human parts.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
us into something real, tremble
my heart until the waves break.
tremble my limbs until they can finally be still again,
until I can't even hold language, words
falling from my mouth as if I forgot that I
could say things on purpose and mean them.
unhinge my jaw until my teeth stop shaking,
until my tongue belongs to me again.
I can taste blood. whose is it? whose is it?
My Fairy Tale Lie02/08/08My Fairy Tale Lie7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
They say that I hold the cards to hope and happiness.
You say that I contradict this world by being the most complicated guy you know.
I have never trusted you more.
So when I reveal my wish to never swell your heart with tears,
And seeing you shake your head as if hearing a fairy tale lie,
I feel torn between the sadness of being doubted at the most openly honest moment of my life,
And the happiness of realizing just how much I may actually mean to you.
Trading for LoveI remember dreaming about waking up to you,Trading for Love4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Groping you out of playfulness,
And seeing the love within your smile.
I would trade a rose for each one of your smiles,
A weekend for each moment I could be with you,
And all my trust for your love.
But I wouldn't trade anything for the freedom of my heart,
Because I like it where its attached to,
For there's no better place to be,
Than simply being with you.
I may RegretI may Regret7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I talked to her today, not you.
I missed my chances to say, I love you.
It's so hard sometimes to choose which path to walk,
When the questions engulf those who has not yet seen:
Walking down one road,
Don't you wonder what if you have tried the other?
Walking down the other,
Don't you wonder what if you have tried this first?
Many blames men for chasing two loves at once,
One foot in each boat is what they portray.
Leap! Before it is too late,
Jump! Before you lose them both,
Even if it is to any of the boats,
Even if it is any of the choices, decisions...
Make it, and never regret.
For what happiness is there,
When for every road we have taken in life,
We hold dear only the one we have lost?
Written in StarsWritten in Stars6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
We have been written by stars,
Unpredictable as all the truths in the world.
We are loved by strangers,
But nothing prepares me to be half way around the world,
Looking for our constellation,
And finding only the top of the hourglass.
The bottom half is now barely visible,
And the middle twinkles fragilely in the night.
But theres a star in me still shinning,
Brighter than the top right one I see.
Its the one you have touched.
Not AnymoreNot Anymore6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Beautiful as you are,
I have a hard time getting a hold of you.
I used to let go,
But not anymore.
Lovely as your voice is,
I have a hard time grasping your words.
I couldn't see the feelings behind it,
But not anymore.
Affectionate as you are,
I have a hard time saying no.
And after being shown your diary,
I am all yours.
7 postcards from an explosionpostcard 1:7 postcards from an explosion6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
wish you were her.
i am afraid of a lot of things and i
would like to know where this is
going. (nothing makes me feel as safe
as your fingertips)
ive been searching and searching and
somewhere along the way I realized that
i am not lost and you are not home. and i
am not coming back.
you know, I used to think that I could get
over everything. but everything just got over
when she died, she turned white like a saint. i
could not look into her marble eyes and i
am afraid I never will, even though she is gone.
i look at you, then i look at me, then
i look at you looking at me. then i do it
again 47 billion times. i tell you I am
trying but i hope this never reaches you.
i want your flowers because i love you.
How My Life Changed04/07/08How My Life Changed7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Like in a dream,
I've swam in ocean of diamonds.
Broken hearts in a world of strangers.
I've painted the tallest of mountains,
Mended hearts with heart scratched words.
But I've never thought of stop sailing the world,
Until last night,
When I realized that I've unconsciously placed my heart in your hands,
Beating rhythm an ocean away.
last day on earth, take one.the night they outlawed God we lovedlast day on earth, take one.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
each other like bandits under
the cover of night, stole all
the beautiful things back from them. they
came for us by morning
but we were loved by then,
thoroughly loved. they took our bodies
possessed by light, they took in
of us, shamelessly declaring ourselves
untouchable as we touched
each other like we were surfacing
from the darkness.
we were people kissing until we forgot
that we were people, kissing each other until
we forgot that we weren't shooting stars
in a universe they tried to claim wasn't ours,
but they were lying.
Learning to Let GoLearning to Let Go5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I remember kissing your cheek,
Right in front of your left ear,
Looking into your eyes,
To tell you just how plainly I love you.
I remember kissing your hand,
Falling in love with your smiles,
Even when I've made more than enough.
I've always been true to my heart,
One broken maybe too many times.
Even when everyone around me convinces me otherwise,
Love is still love.