temptation never tasted.if i'm the smoke in the middle
of the night then you're the fire
that's daring to breathe me into the
stars. and if i'm the steam fogging
up the windows, then you're
the ravaging fingers on sweat-
slicked flesh that's birthing it.
because neither of us are sweet
summer lullabies or gentle may
showers. no, we're nail-bitten
hips and saltwater-lips knocking
over vases and shoving devil-wing
shoulders into the wall. we're
pillaging hunger and insatiable greed,
sinning our way through poetic silence.
we're taking what we want and be
damned what stands in the way.
we're a wildfire tearing down
the forest, a hurricane ripping
the roofs off of the greater
metropolitan area. we're an
unnatural disaster, colliding in
an explosion of sparks and metal.
we're igniting the world until it burns
to the ground, we're wringing out the
ocean. we're standing in the middle
of the dust-hazed war zone we've
created and all we can notice is heat.
hello, beautiful.these are the times i will always remember:hello, beautiful.5 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
walking through crowded coffee shops to see you sitting in the corner, steaming cups on the table and bright eyes lighting up the room. hellos tripping over my tongue, shy glances and bitten lips, toes curling in my shoes. hearing your baritone voice for the first time, tying my lips into knots as i fumbled over the introductions.
sitting on my bed, shaking the walls with laughter, your arms holding me close into the curve of your body. driving with the windows down while holding hands, the wind painting butterflies on my neck.
not knowing a thing about you but wanting to pick up the candle and explore. finding the most breathtaking mosaics on hidden walls, you taking my hand and laying it against your scars. your trust that i wouldn't break them open, promises sealed with virgin lips.
i will remember the anxiety and the fears and the wonder. i will remember the dreaming and doubt and finding answers that only birthed more questions. i will r
delilah whispers secrets.delilah doesn't believe in emergencies, only in miracles.delilah whispers secrets.5 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
she spends twelve hours out of every twenty four practicing the perfect inhale but hasn't quite mastered the exhale, so she'll often spend her days walking around with all of her gold-dust wishes still trapped in her lungs. if you ask she'll just smile, tell you they're immature anyway and if she doesn't mind their company why would she mind them still living at home? she's convinced they'll move out when they're ready to face the world.
delilah thinks cloud watching is exactly how it sounds.
she'd rather be chasing them over the horizon and stuffing them in her pockets, because what's the point in admiring if you're just going to wave goodbye every time? she once tried the same theory with puppies when she was ten and returned the yapping lab with rosy cheeks and every intention to try again. you'll sometimes see her scratching bonnie behind the ears with secrets in her eyes, holding a finger to her mouth if she catches you l
we're breaking fate.i'm crying but there are no tears; i'm laughing but there is no sound.we're breaking fate.5 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
music is playing but i can't cage the beat. i'm just sitting in the middle of a wind storm and counting the seconds to sleep. counting the seconds until i fly. counting the seconds until i can see your face again. because your mouth is like whiskey and i'm always under the influence whenever you're around. ohoh, if i had the words, i'd give them all to you in a beat of my stuttering heart. because you always know that everything i want is everything you have and everything i have is already yours.
i can't keep myself from you. i can't keep myself from the flames but i'm going down swinging. i'm going down hard. i'm too close to the fire and too far from the heat. i'm dancing a million miles a minute trying to get your attention but you're too far away to see and i'm sweating blood and bleeding sweat and i just want to be where you are.
remember when we were thirteen? we had hot, dirty hands and innocent eyes and dan
instead of breathing.it's a quarter to three and twenty minutes past any hope for sleep tonight.instead of breathing.5 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
instead, i am singing to the walls and pulling the stars in to light up the corners in my room. instead, i am writing your name in cursive and whispering secrets in gaelic and pinning my heart to the ceiling because it reminds me that life is beautiful. instead, i am making lists of things i want to tell you, lists of a hundred and two different ways to breathe that still leave me breathless whenever you're around.
instead, i am thinking of things like:
how when you talk, you mold the air between your hands like you're painting a picture that only i can see. how when you listen, you go completely and absolutely still. how ice-blue eyes cut through whatever inhibitions hold me back. how lips curve in a way that beckon me out of hiding to wherever it is you are. how you can seamlessly switch the conversation from a discussion of the black-and-white greats to cowboy brawls. how calloused, scarred fingers can drum
i'm choking.i am sitting with smoking nerves andi'm choking.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
frayed circuit wires, everything i don't
know knotting together for me to choke
if there is a door, i can't find it.
if there is an answer, i'm unaware.
instead i am falling to my knees and
crawling under the smoke, eyes watering
and knuckles bleeding. no closer to the end
than when i had begun.
if i had the courage, i'd crack open your ribs
and get the answer for myself. if i was brave,
i'd simply reach over and pinch the truth from
or i'd just tie my heart to the railroad tracks
and wait for you to save it. wait for you
to cradle it and whisper that the time for
pinched nerves and scraped knees is over.
but i am confused and cowardly, clutching
my chest, palms feebly protecting the only
thing i have left to defend. the only thing i
have left worth guarding.
and the thing that scares me most is not that
you might hurt me. it's not that i might end
up with a scar or a burn or a weeping laceration.
the thing that has me trembling wit
when i say one day.one day, i'll smile when i remember you.when i say one day.5 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
if the winds of change have stopped blowing and i find myself tossed out of the gusts, i'll smooth back my hair and sink to the ground. and if it is silent where i sit, i'll close my eyes and face the memories i've been running from. i'll remember the way you ducked your head when you laughed or contorted your face to catch me off guard. i'll remember the way you could slip a word into a conversation that would completely derail me and how you'd use your next breath to scoop me back up. i'll remember the way i was never sure of where i stood with you but how i always knew i didn't want to be standing anywhere else.
that's when i'll lay down on my back and let my thoughts off their leashes for a while. i'll let them yip and howl and run in wild, arcing circles. i'll see your face rising above their writhing forms but that won't surprise me terribly much because you're so often with them.
and it will make me think of the first time you
i can fight gravity.do you really want to know how im feeling?i can fight gravity.5 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
im breathing his name across my pillow every night. im sleeping with trembling hands uncurled, wishing only for them to be held against his. my mouth is swollen from biting my lip, the words caged inside, moth-wings fluttering against the back of my throat.
im tearing apart dictionaries because none of them have the definition that describes this. im throwing the radio through the window because none of the music feels right. my teeth are on edge and im on a wire. im hanging three hundred feet over a giant x thatll bruise like hell when i swan dive towards it.
and im courting dreams that dont make sense, kicking them down the stairs in the morning and watching them crumple on the floor. because theyre only useful when theyre broken, feeble and silent.
im running as fast as i can with blistered feet. if i dont let this catch me then i can pretend it
you'll think of me.you're going to miss me.you'll think of me.5 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
when the night is silent and you can't hear anything but the beatbeatbeating of your heart against your ribcage, you're going to remember me. you're going to remember how my voice dropped to smoke when i was tired. the way i hesitated before diving, trembling even as i grabbed your hand and pulled us over the edge. the way i blushed and bit my lip, the way i tried to filter what i was going to say but always ended up saying it regardless.
and when the moon whitewashes your walls, you're going to think of me. you're going to think of the way i stood in the middle of the highway watching you leave. the way i looked in the rearview mirror bathed in your taillights. the way i wasn't crying, just rocked on my heels with fists jammed in my pockets. the way i never begged but opened the front door, the way i knew love tasted best when seasoned without expectations.
and when the stars dance between your curtains, you're going to wish for me. you're going to wish for so
i'm breathing without lungs.don't apologize. i can't breathe. i collapsed on the stairs at a quarter to two and i haven't found my feet yet. please help me up. please push me down. i think i'm letting my lungs collapse. i think i just spit up saltwater. is the carpet staining? i need you to grab my hand. i need you to hold my lungs together. i need you. i need you.i'm breathing without lungs.5 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
is it night yet? i can't see the stars. i can't feel the wind. my skin is numb and my eyes are on fire and i'm sitting in the middle of a room without windows and i can't breathe. why aren't you listening? can't you hear me? i'm choking on regrets. i'm choking on my spine. i'm coughing up alcohol from last night and i'm spitting out my teeth but i still can't breathe.
i need a prayer. i need a song. i need you to write a poem for me and read it out loud until i can't hear anything but your voice. i need to stop driving with my eyes closed. i need to stop pretending i have wings. i need you to close your eyes and pretend i know. pretend i don't need you
i can't see the sky.i hate the word lonely.i can't see the sky.5 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
it dries out my mouth like i had tried to swallow tumbleweeds, it scratches the back of my throat like i'm trying to regurgitate memories from an empty stomach. it leaves me sitting in the middle of an empty room and wishing the ceiling would cave in because then at least i'd be able to watch the stars.
instead i'm just laying on top of the covers pretending to count them in the drywall and imagining what it would feel like to have your arm behind the curve in my neck. instead i'm closing my eyes and listening to the suction in my veins because i am hollow and caving in. i keep painting you with rich, lush adjectives, but you're just a cardboard pipe dream that falls flat and leaveleaveleaves me without air.
i keep spending my nights sketching your eyes on the ceiling, but i still can't see the moon.
and you know, i keep my hands busy during the day to ignore the faint shaking they do when i know they want to be holding yours. i keep my mouth talking to ignore t
i'm injecting this love song.dear ribs,i'm injecting this love song.5 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
thank you for protecting what i hold most precious. thank you for blocking the bigger blows, absorbing the momentum with a shock and a shudder. i know it isn't easy to stand guard, but i breathe easy knowing you're there to shield me. maybe someday i'll unlock you at the clavicle and open you up, but for now: stay strong.
thank you for never complaining when i shove you into all my messes. thank you for working through the worst of the damage, straightening up my mistakes with surgical precision. i know it's hard working solo but i have such confidence in you. maybe someday we'll find someone that'll fill up your empty spaces, but for now: keep the faith.
thank you for being there when i'm carving apologies between your vertebrae. thank you for stiffening when i want nothing more than to melt to the ground. i know you'd rather go limp instead of working all the time, but when i can't trust myself, i'm leaning on you. maybe someday we'll find som
i trust you to know.if i could crack my ribs apart at the sternum, id let you dip your fingers beneath the bleached bones.i trust you to know.5 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
there isnt anyone else id trust enough to not be impatient. there isnt anyone else id trust to not simply cut through the brittle, snarled vines encasing my heart. but i trust you. i trust you to see that the vines need to be unwound layer by layer. i trust you to see that to cut to the quick would only bleed me out. i trust you to know that i cant bear to stain the carpet yet again.
i trust you to see that the thorns are embedded deep, the insecurities tangled with the nervous laughs, that im biting my lip to keep it from trembling, that my palms are bird wings fluttering around my throat to keep the oxygen flowing.
i trust you to see.
and if i balk, if i run terrified back into the thicket, i trust you to follow me quietly, not burying a bullet in my flank, but luring me out with open hands and gentle eyes.
oh, because cant you see? i&
my little heart of mine.dear little heart of mine,my little heart of mine.5 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i need you to be brave for me. i know you're trembling on wires and clacking against bird-bone ribs, but i need you to set your teeth and stiffen that upper lip. i know it's scary and we aren't getting any medals for courage any time soon, but i think if we both hold hands and close our eyes, we can get through this.
i need you to know though that this is probably going to hurt.
i'm not saying we'll be bleeding and gasping on the floor. i'm not saying we're going to lock the front gates and shut off the lights and fasten the shutters, but i can't lie to you and say we will be living in eternal sunshine. we won't.
we can't hide behind the wall forever though. if we want to get what we love to dream about, we're going to have to step in the frontline. we're going to have to brave the machine fire and remind ourselves that it's worth it. i promise you, it might be. it might be worth taking the bullet.
and it will be okay, because we aren't the type to simply bre
it's not enough.i will never regret running into the freeway.it's not enough.5 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
if i am gasping for air, pressing my palms against my chest, holding myself together, you will never find me wishing i hadn't done it. if i am sticking my fingers in my sides to staunch the bleeding, limping down gravel roads, barefoot and wild-eyed, you will only see me grimace and smile. tell you it was a hell of a ride. tell you when that car collided with my kneecaps, i tasted heaven in the wind yanked from my lungs.
and you won't ever find me lamenting jumping into the fire.
if i am smoldering and smoking, licking charcoal-lips and spitting out ash, you will never once hear me whispering it would have been better if i hadn't. if i am beating out my own flames, stitching my own sides up, holding my own hand, you will only watch me grit my teeth and laugh. tell you that it was like having my bones dance. tell you that when the fire licked around my torso, i knew what it meant to be alive.
because i know, someday i'm going to find someone
late this october night.right now:late this october night.5 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
the train is bulleting ten times faster than recommended down the tracks. sparks are cascading as the metal punches sporadic screams through the air. inside the cabin there are taut fingers clawing at the sides of the seats, praying lips asking for salvation as oxygen is whipped from the passengers gaping lungs. a mother is pressing chapped lips to her sons tan forehead, a husband is folding his wifes leathery hand in his for the last time. all chests are expanded and compressed against the back of the seats, hearts imploding as the track dissolves under grinding wheels.
the train rolls on, the screams roll on, the fire rolls on.
death runs rampant late this october night.
the plane is nose-diving through the starless fog. one little girls limp head is leaning against her fathers tense arm, his lips reciting a prayer long ago forgotten. the cabin is silent except for the steady sound of breathing, the sound of cotton on cotton as legs
consider this just one more.i need you to stop needing me.consider this just one more.5 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
you don't know, but you're living a lie. you're closing your eyes and pretending i'm something i'm not. you're pretending i'm lovely and stable and precious. you're pretending i'm returning this kiss.
you're breathing down my neck and twisting my hair between your fingers, saying we could be something beautiful if i would just slow down. you're swearing we could be a sundust and milky way love story if i would just stop running away all the time.
you're calling me baby, you're calling me darling, you're trying to hold my hand and ignoring the fact that i'm shaking with anxiety. your salty lips keep misfiring and landing on my jaw, your greedy fingers keep tearing my coattails apart.
can't you see? i'm a mistake that you're trying to rearrange into something lyrical, a disaster that you're trying to pretend is miraculous. when really i'm anything but.
in reality i'm knocking down vases and ripping the mona lisa in half, i'm tripping down the stairs and cra
dying to feel alive.we are the living.dying to feel alive.5 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
we are the revolutionaries finding adventures on the tip of our frost-bitten noses, the pirates braving the raging ocean, the radicals setting our veins on fire. we are the buccaneers stealing hearts and leaving names behind, the insurgents tearing apart continents and draining the mighty rivers.
we are the rebels causing riots in the middle of the streets, the mutineers screaming songs at the top of our lungs, the bandits writing poems in all caps or with none at all. we are the ones making rules just to break them, slashing paint across canvases and calling the wounds art, tearing up roses to plant wildflowers because we can't stand to see beauty so trimmed and refined.
we are the ones who believe in beauty that's raw and half-ugly, that's stumbling with scraped-up knees and chapped lips. we are the ones who believe in art that's vulnerable and shaken, that's hoarse and gritty, that's not polished and kept in a vault but covered in sand and strewn across foggy beac
the fear of falling.i'm living my life with fear bubbling up my throat.the fear of falling.5 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i'm guarding my heart with iron lace and gritted teeth because even the prospect of getting burned is enough to leave me on the porch. i'm trembling like autumn leaves, my spine cracking like an age-worn book, eroding at a hundred words a minute into a pile of rubble that is getting lost in the wind. i'm putting my toe in the water and easing around the edge, keeping my back to the wall and running like hell when i reach the exit.
because i'm pavlov's dog and when that bell strikes, i'm already diving for cover. because your eyes look like an earthquake and i only know one surefire way to avoid falling down the fault line. i can't get hurt if i never play the game, i can't get scarred if i never approach the flame. i'm tasting the arsenic with the tip of my tongue but i'm not able to brave downing the entire bottle. because i've been down this road before and left bloody footprints on my staggering way home. i've been at this cross po
resurrected in the graveyard.sometimes, i think if i drive with the radio loud enough, i can drown my thoughts.resurrected in the graveyard.5 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
i imagine them blue-faced and purple-lipped, clinging to the sharp edges of my imploding mind. i imagine them gasping for air bubbles and clawing at the walls, fingers going limp, feet twitching before they finally release and sink like stone to the mossy floor.
and in this screaming silence, i find peace. in the midst of the howling verse and raging chorus, i find my mind blank to the fury of the storm. i don't think about bleeding stitches or begging hearts. i don't think about drunken kisses with whiskey-fingers prying reality away. i can forget about burying the pain with raucous laughter, can forget about curling into my past with no desire to face my future any longer.
flying down the freeway, deaf and saltwater-blind, i can claw out a cave in the midst of the chaos and crawl inside the emptiness. i can crank the volume up and let my guard down, relax my white-knuckle grip on sanity, my fierce atte
love like smoke.sometimes,love like smoke.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
if you close
you can hear
the sound of
than not, it's a
the timid release
of air into the
but if you
listen hard, you
can still catch
the fluttering of
and dead end
on the tip of
it sounds just
like the pitterpatter
of the ocean's tears,
like salty wishes
apart in the haste
of the wind.
it's the sound of chalk
paintings being chased
away by the rain,
of lost children running
after smoke silhouettes,
of individual fingers
weaving together to
pretend they feel whole.
saving hope.tangled within heaven's gilded lies,saving hope.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you sleep choking on the decay of
a thousand perfumed promises
you are a wildfire: something crazed,
something feral, something dying
slowly with every poisoned breath
you are dissolving as fast as you're
forming, leaving silt and cells strewn
haphazardly in your saltwater wake
you are a supernova: igniting the skies,
setting the constellations aflame with
the final beat of your unruly heart
oh, and i am nothing more than a
simple maiden wading into the
murky waters of your destruction
i am nothing more than a foolish
girl attempting to sing hymns that
will lull your demons to sleep
you see, i am trusting i have the
strength to hold your continents
together when i am falling apart
i am hoping i have the faith
to keep your soul from eroding
when i am frayed and fading
i am closing my eyes, opening my heart and
i am praying i can save you from yourself
i am praying i can save you
i am praying
i am praying
breathing hope eternal.the spaces between your ribs are just deep enough for me to fall in.breathing hope eternal.5 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
it's there i find you are the nectar of honey and the salt of the ocean, fading magnolias and withered vines. i discover you are the scent of sunshine and freedom, the simultaneous flame of desperation and redemption. you are everything my heart has ever desired, everything my dreams have ever imagined.
you are tender lips and calloused hands, poetry whispered between crooked teeth. sometimes, i imagine you sitting on the wharf with chalk smeared on your palms. i imagine you trying to capture the sunset between mortal hands, breathing life into sketches, dreaming ideas into existence.
you are beauty that is acute enough to hurt and hope bright enough to blind. the faith of the ages is woven between the fibers of your skin. you are everything i could ever be lucky enough to hold, but the truth is still curled in my lungs, reality is still trapped between my eyelashes.
i'm reaching for you, but i know, i can
barefoot in the rainit's too cold to speak into payphones without trembling. it's one of those nights when the whole world seems to be the colour of smoke. I am screaming even though I know nobody will hear me. I press my face against the window glass and it's cold enough to feel exposed, but not cold enough to want to stop.barefoot in the rain5 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
it's like the r-rated movie I watched when I was ten years old. I wanted to scream but my own swollen fingers were covering my mouth. now I am pushing two fingers into my mouth like the one time I pressed my palm into the shower drain. I wanted to be sucked in. I wanted to fall out. I wanted to be in a place where it was raining all the time.
time may have made me bonier, but I'm still sitting here with my fingers against the window of the telephone booth, and there's a boy standing out in the rain, but he looks happy. it's been so cold for so long that I now almost enjoy it because I like knowing that I could leave but that I never actually do.
he's the ghost I never should have even
catch me if you can.i cant help myself.catch me if you can.5 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i cant help that i live with the wind wound around my teeth and my lungs on fire. i cant help that i dont know the meaning of fractions and instead give only in wholes, never brushing cold water with a toe but closing my eyes and diving into the deep end. if i knew how, i would practice restraint. if i thought i could, i would exercise caution on a daily basis so that i might protect myself from the dangers i invite freely into my heart.
but i was born without that skill. i am instead throwing my foot to the ground and letting the car fishtail around the turns, breathing in whiskey-laced speed because i die slowly in stale monotony. so when i grab your hand and sprint towards the edge, know its because i cant do anything different.
if i could walk leisurely through rose gardens: i would.
if i could press sweets to your tongue and let them slowly dissolve: id do nothing less.
but i cant. i am having you choke