They don't careI couldn't find a better emoticon, so I'll start off by saying I'm not entirely feeling rejected...just hurt. Upset.They don't care1 year ago in Personal More Like This
Today I went on the youth group's facebook prayer page and told them how I'm withdrawing from the church and although they are awesome people that I love, I don't believe in God. Only one person has responded, and it was just a "we'll miss you, hope you come back" type of thing. Like they don't understand I'm serious. Like they don't care.
When my friend did it, someone kept trying to convince her to change her mind and ended up crying while typing...it was just so obvious he cared. I mean, I'm sure they were closer, but still. I knew my youth group didn't care for me much, but I thought there were SOME who were going to respond. I guess...being the stubborn chick I am, I wanted an argument. I was prepared to give my reasons why and defend my case. So it sucks when they don't even try to convince me-because I know my mind won't be changed...it's just that I kinda of want
Lost FaithThere is a lot on my mind. A lot. The weeks have flown by lately and yet it's all just been an uneventful, numbing blur. Nothing big (or good) has happened and I feel like I'm just...serving no purpose. Living no life....Lost Faith1 year ago in Personal More Like This
I'm still on anti-depressants of course. Only one friend knows and I feel awful for betraying H like this. But how exactly do you tell someone that? Especially when she suffers with depression too?
Is it bad I wish I was depressed like I used to be? That I don't want these pills? I'm just numb. I don't know how I feel anymore. It's the worst feeling anymore. I'd rather feel constant depression than be purely CONFUSED with my emotions. Honestly.
I'm a freak.
I've also come to the conclusion that I no longer believe in God. I don't know if I ever did. I was searching for a comfort of some sort...hope. And he hasn't really done anything. If he is real, the only time he's ever answered prayers is for my mom not having cancer-that was almost a year ago...and that wasn't ev